chapter 1

The day we drove into Rainbow, Mama was pulling out all her tricks to distract us, trying to pretend we hadn’t just left every one of our friends ten hours behind. “Oh, Alice! Look at my old hometown! See the trees lining the street? And the nice wide sidewalks? It’s all so pretty!”

Out my window I saw a beat-up sign that once said, WELCOME TO RAINBOW , but now with most of the letters faded, it only read, COME RAIN , and that made more sense in this dried-up little town.

I remembered Daddy saying that the only good day in Rainbow, Georgia, is the day you leave. I used to laugh real hard when he said stuff like that. Then Daddy left us—even though we weren’t even living in Rainbow—and I didn’t think that joke was as funny anymore.

There’s a lot that’s not funny anymore.

Up till the last month of fourth grade, I was mostly happy.

But then Mama called a family meeting. Family meetings of the past had been for our cat needing to be put down, us moving to a smaller house, and of course, Daddy leaving.

So I knew better than to think that meeting was going to be pleasant.

And I was right.

......

“Alice.” Mama’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “Look at that library over there. I used to spend so much time there. You and Eddie will love it. Look how charming it is.”

It was nothing more than an old brick house with a wooden porch out front and a chalkboard sign with the words CIT Y OF RAINBOW LIBRARY painted on it. Underneath, someone had scribbled, Make the summer of ’68 great—dive into a good book!

Yeah, this was gonna be fun.

“And look, there. That’s Emery Elementary, where you both will start in the fall. Oh wait... don’t tell Eddie that. I’m not sure they can accept him—haven’t talked to them yet. So don’t tell Eddie about the school thing.”

I wasn’t telling Eddie anything. He fell asleep over an hour ago. I looked at him, snoring like he didn’t have a worry in the world, still clutching the plate he always pretends is a steering wheel.

When Mama drives, Eddie does too. When she turns left, he turns the plate left. He’s a real good backseat driver till he gets bored and wants a book or some toy. But still, he never lets go of that plate.

Back home, Eddie went to the Ohio School for the Deaf. Got in a big van to go to his school every day since he was three. Don’t know why Mama thinks he will just be able to start going to a public school with me now that we live in this tiny town. Is he gonna walk through the door to a new school and just start hearing?

I was starting to worry about my mama’s forgetfulness more than Grandma’s.

When Grandma came to visit us last Easter, she got lost. She was driving to Columbus the same way she always did for every holiday. But this year she called from some diner way out in Pennsylvania. She shouldn’t even have been in Pennsylvania! Even I knew that. I thought it was funny, but I remember Mama didn’t laugh. She had this look on her face like a diner in Pennsylvania was the absolute worst place Grandma could ever end up. But Grandma eventually made it to our house just fine. Mama drove her back after Easter and then took the bus home. And I didn’t think anything else about it.

Till Mama called the family meeting.

Mama told us Grandma’s memory was getting worse and it wasn’t a good idea for her to live by herself anymore.

I figured that meant Grandma would move in with us. I knew our house was small, but since Daddy left, Mama had the whole bed to herself, so I figured Grandma could sleep with her. At least until Daddy came back.

But Mama said no. Grandma’s life was in Rainbow. She needed to stay where she knew people, where she’d spent most of her life. She needed to be in her home.

Not sure why Mama didn’t understand that’s what I needed, too.