chapter3

The footsteps came to a sudden halt and Leah looked up sharply. But seconds later, her cell door slammed shut and she heard the reassuring sound of the latch bolts deploying. She collapsed back onto her bed, exhausted but relieved.

Luck had been on her side tonight. She'd taken advantage of the scene in the canteen—Campbell enjoying himself at the expense of her neighbor yet again—to race back to her cell. The ten minutes that ensued as she waited for lockup had been agony. But it was over now.

The Judas slit snapped open and a pair of eyes appeared. Leah had come to know the eyes that spied on her and could recognize which prison officer they belonged to. Campbell's eyes were gray and cold, Sarah Bradshaw's were a weak light green and Mark Robins's were chocolate brown and kind. Robins was doing the rounds tonight. Leah smiled to herself as she heard him working his way down the line, chivvying the girls into their cells.

Most of the women hated this part of the day. As night descended they were locked away with only themselves and their dark thoughts for company. Many had been neglected as kids, some had been abused and pretty much everybody in there had self-harmed at one time or another. The night brought back memories of abandonment and loneliness, pushing many girls over the brink. It was no wonder that most suicides happened after dark.

But Leah didn't mind being locked up. During the day, she had enough on her plate, keeping out of harm's way, so the night was her time. A time when she could imagine herself elsewhere. When she could make herself believe that she was at home with her boys, Dylan and Caleb. Doing normal things. Being a good person. Being a mum.

She often cried when she thought of them, but the tears somehow made her feel warm. Like their love was with her in the room. Cheered by this, she used her time alone to plot her future, planning how she would get to be with her boys again. She was doing a life stretch and visiting orders were scarce, so she'd had to think around the problem.

She was taking a massive risk, but there was no other way. Her mum and the boys were visiting tomorrow, and while she was in the relatives’ center, she would demand to see the governor. She had earned her transfer to the enhanced wing. From there perhaps she could get moved to an open prison. Was it too much to hope that she might even get early release one day?

Leah lay on the bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin. The sun was setting and this usually made her feel calm and relaxed. But she was jumpy tonight and couldn't settle. Her mind kept flitting back to the boys. To Dylan's funny little giggle when he was tickled. To the fineness of Caleb's hair. To that warm feeling she had when they both lay in bed with her in the morning.

They were only memories, increasingly distant memories, but they were all she had. So, snuggling down, she lost herself in the past, hoping that sleep would come.

And as if on cue, the lights suddenly snapped out, plunging Leah into darkness.