下载掌阅APP，畅读海量书库
立即打开
WHEN FINISHING SCHOOL strips away the excuses and the unreasonable expectations we bring to the act of writing, we see our behavior in stark relief. What is behind the irritation, the clouded thinking, the sudden desire to deviate from the plan? For this book to be helpful to all, and not just for those who want to commit to taking Finishing School classes, we thought we should explore what we have learned about the emotions that prevent people from finishing writing projects.
We have observed some truly astonishing things in Finishing School. We have seen that when people used the simple techniques in this program, the thoughts and feelings that had held them back became transparent to them. People who had been stuck got unstuck. People who had been fearful became confident. People who had been unhappy with their work enjoyed it again. Insights and breakthroughs brought people a lighthearted relief they had not felt in years.
We thought this book should ask why that is so, and offer some answers. We made a list of things we had heard people say, voices and beliefs that tormented them and kept them from finishing. We read the list out loud. It was a little embarrassing at first, saying these things out loud, because they hit home, sometimes uncomfortably so. Once we got going, though, it turned out to be fun. We were shouting out all these awful statements, many of which became chapters in this book.
The next time we met, it was clear that the pages that chronicled this negativity easily divided into six categories: doubt, shame, yearning, fear, judgment, and arrogance.
DOUBT—I can’t do this. I’m a terrible writer. No, I’m a good writer, better than most people I know, but I’ll never be like Flannery O’Connor. My brain isn’t that big and my ideas are not that original. I’ll never finish, so why go on?
SHAME—I’m a loser. I never finish anything and now I’m not going to finish this. I’m ashamed to even look at the writing I did two years ago. Everyone knows I’m a loser. Where did I get the idea that anyone would want to read my stupid words?
YEARNING—This has to be perfect and it has to be good enough to make me famous. I’m going to write something beautiful and perfect, and everyone will know that I am perfect too, because this is an expression of me. I cannot make a single mistake. And unless every sentence is perfect, it’s not worth doing.
FEAR—If I do finish, it will be a failure. Getting rejected will be so humiliating and discouraging that it’s better not even to try. Those people who say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger are liars. What doesn’t kill you destroys some piece of you. What doesn’t kill you makes you want to go crawl into a hole and never show your face again. If I never finish, at least I’ve never failed.
JUDGMENT—My writing sucks. I’m scared to let other people read it because I don’t want to be found out as the mediocre person I know myself to be. If I finish, I’m going to be the butt of jokes I’ll never hear, banned from family gatherings because of the things I wrote about them. When I reveal to others my true self, they will despise me. The idea of sending my work out for sale, or to agents, makes me sick to my stomach.
ARROGANCE—I don’t need any help to get things done. I just do it. That’s what I do. I get so annoyed by writers’ groups, those losers. None of them has ever published anything. I don’t want to share the credit, or the pain, with anyone. My pain is so much more exquisite than the pain of losers, because I am not a loser and I do not want their unexceptional support.
After we whittled the list down to six, we decided it was very useful for anyone who wanted to examine the reasons why they had not finished their work. The pitfalls that resonated for Cary were different from those that resonated with me. We found that our students identified with one, two, or three, but not all. Everybody resonated with shame. Cary felt shame, arrogance, and fear; I felt arrogance and judgment, with shame coming in third.
The list helped writers get back to work by making them understand that they weren’t necessarily lazy or undisciplined but were facing big emotional issues when they sat down to write.
Creative people need a way to speak about this without fear. By naming these emotional blocks and exploring them in this book, we hope to take away some of the sting these statements carry, just as we experienced on the day that we exposed to each other our most depressing judgments about ourselves and our work. This is why a significant part of this book is devoted to trying to identify and explore the Six Emotional Pitfalls.
How can identifying them be useful to you? It can help you to be honest about the turmoil the pitfalls cause and to recognize that in this turmoil you are joined by everyone who has ever tried to write. All writers who have written about the difficulty of writing cite these emotions, be they famous and successful or amateurs writing alone and just for themselves. These emotions are real. They reflect the seriousness with which you take the task, but they are not a verdict. They are, like all emotions, something that comes and passes. If you have a way to discuss them, you may find the process of recognizing and releasing them easier, and because of that you will get back to work.