本文原题为《译诗记趣》,记述了作者译李煜词、苏东坡诗词、革命诗词时的乐趣;论述译诗的目的是使读者知之(理解)、好之(喜欢)、乐之(愉快)。使人知之需要达意,使人好之需要传情,使人乐之需要感动,这就是文学翻译目的论的三部曲。
翻译不易,译诗更难,译格律诗更是难上加难。翻译有趣,译诗更有趣,把格律诗译成格律诗简直是其乐无穷,好的译诗可以使人知之(理解)、好之(喜欢)、乐之(愉快)。
英国文学史上把格律诗译成格律诗的,一百年只有一部名著:18世纪蒲柏(Pope)译的荷马史诗,19世纪菲茨杰拉尔德(Fitzgerald)译的《鲁拜集》( The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam )。我们先看一段荷马史诗《伊利亚特》( The Iliad )中赫克托耳(Hector)离妻别子时说的话吧:
“Andromache!my soul's far better part,
Why with untimely sorrows heaves thy heart?
No hostile hand can antedate my doom,
Till fate condemns me to the silent tomb.
Fix'd is the term to all the race of earth,
And such the hard condition of our birth.
No force can then resist, no flight can save;
All sink alike, the fearful and the brave.
No more—but hasten to thy tasks at home,
There guide the spindle, and direct the loom;
Me glory summons to the martial scene,
The field of combat is the sphere for men.
Where heroes war, the foremost place I claim,
The first in danger as the first in fame.”
这段诗体译文译得慷慨激昂,音调铿锵,写出了英雄本色;但过于华丽,蔓生枝节。下面再看一下李夫(W.Leaf)的散文译文:
“Dear one, I pray thee be not of over sorrowful heart;no man against my fate shall hurl me to Hades;only destiny, I ween, no man hath escaped, be he coward or be he valiant, when once he hath been born. But go thou to thine house and see to thine own tasks, the loom and distaff, and bid thine handmaidens ply their work;but for war shall men provide and I in chief of all men that dwell in Ilions.”
比较一下两种译文,就可以看出散文的译文保持了原诗朴素的古风,但是译得平淡无奇。怎样才能译得兼顾两种译文的长处,换句话说,怎样能既传达原诗的“意美”,又传达原诗的“音美”和“形美”,使人不但知之,而且好之,甚至乐之呢?
李煜词中有一首《相见欢》:“林花谢了春红,太匆匆。无奈朝来寒雨晚来风。胭脂泪,相留醉,几时重。自是人生长恨水长东。”美国印第安纳大学布莱恩特教授(Daniel Bryant)的译文是:
The spring scarlet of the forest blossoms fades and falls.
Too soon, too soon;
There is no escape from the cold rain of morning, the wind at dusk.
The tears on your rouged cheeks,
Keep us drinking together,
For when shall we meet again?
Thus the eternal sorrows of human life, like great rivers flowing ever east.
这个译文不但与原文“意似”而且还“形似”,“太匆匆”译成too soon, too soon,还可以说是和原文“音似”。不过原诗押了五个“东”韵,译文只押了一个,传达原诗的“音美”,显得有些不足,而且最后一行和上文的联系显得不够紧密。只能使人知之,如何才能传达原诗的“意美”,使人好之,似乎还可以作进一步的研究。我想把这首词试译如下:
Spring's rosy color fades from forest flowers.
Too soon, too soon.
How can they bear cold morning showers,
And winds at noon?
Your rouged tears like crimson rain,
Intoxicate my heart.
When shall we meet again?
As water eastward flows, so shall we part.
这个译文不说“林花别了”,而说“别了林花”,从形式上看来,译得不够“意似”;但从内容上看来,我觉得还是传达了原诗的“意美”。原诗第三行被拆译成了两行,这样不够“形似”,但却更能传达原诗的“音美”。这行诗的主语有人说是作者,但如译成“我”,就和上文显得不够连贯。布莱恩特教授的译文回避了这个问题,译得巧妙。我的译文为了押韵,把“晚来风”改成“午来风”了,译得又不“意似”。自然我可以把这行改成And the wind in the afternoon,这样意思会更接近些,但是音节却和前一行一样多,不能传达原诗前长后短的节奏。我觉得原诗形式上说“朝来寒雨晚来风”,内容是说一天的风雨,倒不一定非说“晚来风”不可,所以就是现在这个译文,也能传达原诗的“意美”,可以使人知之,好之。原诗最后一行形式上说“人生长恨”,从上下文看来,内容应该是指“离愁别恨”,于是我又舍弃了“形似”的译法,直接说是离恨了。这种译法是否妥当?可以研究。不过译后一读,觉得译文朗朗上口,译者也就自得其乐了。
李煜还有两首写渔家乐的小词,第一首是:“浪花有意千重雪,桃李无言一队春。一壶酒,一竿身,世上如侬有几人。”我想译成:
White-crested waves aspire to a skyful of snow,
Spring displays silent peach and plum trees in a row.
A fishing rod,
A pot of wine,
Who in this world can boast of a happier life than thine?
我看“有意”译得能使自己乐之,如果把“一竿身”换成“一杆笔”,那也就写出了诗人和译者的乐趣了。
苏东坡也有四首《渔父》词,第一首是:“渔父饮,谁家去?鱼蟹一时分付。酒无多少醉为期,彼此不论钱数。”美国印第安纳大学罗郁正教授(Irving Yucheng Lo)的译文是:
The fisherman drinks,
Where does he go for wine?
All at once he disposes of his fish and crab.
Not too much wine, but he won't quit until drunk:
Neither he nor the others are particular about money.
这个译文可以说是译得“形似”的了。例如将第四行“酒无多少”译成not too much wine就几乎是逐字直译的,理解为“没有太多的酒”了。我的看法是“形似”未必“意似”,如果说没有太多的酒,怎么一定能够喝到醉了为止呢?这岂不是一句之内自相矛盾么?所以我想这里“酒无多少”是“无论有多少”“不管多或少”或“不分多少”的意思,那才能和下文连得起来。还有最后一行译“彼此”用了“the others”,从形式上看似乎无不可,但内容却变成是渔夫和别的酒客都不在乎钱了。其实这里“彼此”是指渔父和酒家,渔夫用鱼蟹换酒喝,不用付酒钱,酒家也不用付鱼蟹钱的意思。所以最后两行“形似”的译文,译得都不“意似”,不能使人知之,这就说明了“形似”和“意似”的不同,也就是形式和内容的矛盾。我想把这首词改译如下:
The fisherman will drink,
And you know where he goes.
All at once of his fish and crab he will dispose.
Then he will drink his fill and will not stop,
Till drunk:he need not pay nor be paid by the wineshop.
苏东坡还有一首著名的《饮湖上初晴后雨》:“水光潋滟晴方好,山色空蒙雨亦奇。欲把西湖比西子,淡妆浓抹总相宜。”罗郁正教授的译文是:
Shimmering water at its full—sunny day is best;
Blurred mountains in a haze—marvelous even in rain.
Compare West Lake to a beautiful girl, she will look
Just as becoming—lightly made up or richly adorned.
这个译文可以说是译得“意似”的,但是原诗有韵,译文没有,所以读起来觉得没能传达原诗的“音美”,因此也就没有充分传达原诗的“意美”,只能使人知之,不容易使人好之。由此可见“意似”和“意美”的差别,也可以看出“音美”和“意美”的关系。我把这首七绝试译如下:
The brimming waves delight the eye on sunny days;
The dimming hills give a rare view in rainy haze.
The West Lake looks like the fair lady at her best.
Whether she is richly adorned or plainly dressed.
原诗第一、二行对仗工整,译文没有传达原诗的“形美”,因此也就减少了译文的“意美”,由此也可以看出“形美”和“意美”的关系。不过在“意美”“音美”“形美”三者的关系中,“意美”是第一位的,“音美”是第二位的,“形美”是第三位的。最好是“三美”俱全,但在三者不能兼顾的时候,可以不传达原文的“形美”,但要尽可能在传达“意美”的前提下传达原诗的“音美”。如能译得“三美”齐备,那更是其乐无穷了。
最近在译我国现代革命家诗词选,有时偶得妙句,乐不可支。如秋瑾烈士永垂不朽的绝命词“秋风秋雨愁煞人”,诗只一行,不难理解,也不难译。原文重复了“秋”字,而“愁”字上面还有一个“秋”字。如何才能译出原诗这个妙处呢?我苦思不得其解,忽然苦尽甘来,犹如“山重水复疑无路,柳暗花明又一村”,想到了把这行诗译成:
Sad autumn wind and autumn rain has saddened men.
这样原文重复“秋”字,译文也重复了autumn,原文“愁”字译成sadden,并把前半个字sad放在句首,来译“愁”字上面的一个“秋”字,虽然sad并没有“秋”字的意思,但是这个译法恰好显示了原诗的妙处,而且使上下文前后连贯。此外,原诗“秋风”二字一拍,“秋雨”二字一拍,“愁煞人”三字一拍;译文前三字两拍,中间三字也是两拍,最后三字还是两拍,拍数虽然增加了一倍,但节奏却和原诗是一样的。加上第四拍最后一个字rain和第六拍最后一个字men还可以算是凑韵,所以译文不但可以传达“愁”字和“秋”字的“形美”,还多少可以译出一点原诗的“音美”,这就使我好之、甚至乐之了。
《十老诗选》中有林伯渠的《郴衡道中》,其中三、四两行是:“垂柳如腰欲曼舞,碧桃有晕似轻颦。”这两行诗显示作者听到十月革命后心情愉快,觉得自然景物更加美好,而且诗句对仗工整,我很喜欢,现在试译如下:
The drooping willow branches dance like slender waist;
The green peach blossoms redden like a smiling face.
这两行译文只是基本上传达了原诗对仗工整的“形美”,也能使我好之。
《周恩来青年时代诗选》中的《大江歌罢》一首已有三四种译文。原诗是:“大江歌罢掉头东,邃密群科济世穷,面壁十年图破壁,难酬蹈海亦英雄。”现将(1)《中国文学》、(2)《人民画报》和(3)林同端《周恩来诗选》的译文转抄如下:
(1)Having sung of the Yangtse, I turn eastwards.
To explore the sciences and relieve suffering.
For ten years I'll study to break new ground,
Or drown in the sea, no less heroic.
(2)Singing in a heroic strain,
I turn away and sail east
To drive into the sciences
To save the country now in peril.
For the years I'll endeavour
To find ways to clear up the mess;
Even if I fail in my attempt,
I'll die heroically.
(3)Song of the Grand River sung,
I head resolute for the east,
Having vainly delved in all schools
For clues to a better world.
Ten years face to wall,
I shall make a break-through,
Or die an avowed rebel
Daring to tread the sea.
以上三种译文,以“意美”而论,第三种译文都有独到的见解;以“音美”而论,则三种译文都只有轻重节奏,没有和原诗一样押韵;以“形美”而论,除第一种译文保持四行之外,其他两种译文都分了行。我并不是说译诗不能增加行数,但我认为应该尽可能译得“形似”。如果为了“意美”和“音美”,不可能传达原诗的“形美”,那就不必译得“形似”。如果可能的话,最好还是要兼顾“三美”,才能使人好之。现将我自己在《动地诗》中的译文转抄于下:
Songs of the Great River sung, we head for the east
To delve in science that the world from toil be released.
Ten years within four walls, we will make a breakthrough;
The task not done, we'll tread the sea as heroes do.
《毛泽东诗词》中近来又增加了一首六言诗:“山高路远坑深,大军纵横驰奔。谁敢横刀立马?唯我彭大将军。”这首诗的特点是每行六字三拍,我想试译成朗诵诗如下:
From east to west
by bounds and leaps
our army sweeps
All the way
over mountains steep
and trenches deep.
Who is there
wielding his sword
and rearing his horse?
It is none
but General Peng
of our mighty force.
这个译文把原文一行六字译成了十二个音节,但也是三拍,而且第一、二行的第二、三拍都押了内韵,第三行的第二、三拍也用了半谐音(assonance),第四行和第三行押韵,还把“彭大将军”中的“大”字移到“军”字前面去了,和第二行的“大军”二字遥相呼应,觉得译文多少可以传达一点原诗的“意美”“音美”和“形美”,译后颇能自得其乐。
《陈毅诗词选集》中也有不少对仗工整的对句,如《莱芜大捷》中第五、六行:“鲁中霁雪明飞帜,渤海洪波唱大风。”我想译成:
Red flags fly in Shandong with flying snow;
Great waves roar in Bohai with roaring winds.
这样用重复fly和roar两个字的译法,是否更能传达原诗的“形美”?牺牲一点意似,是否更能使人好之?自然,这两个对句并不是陈老总诗词中最著名的。陈老总的名诗,首推《赣南游击词》,第一段是:“天将晓,队员醒来早,露侵衣被夏犹寒,林间唧唧鸣知了。满身沾野草。”这一段词是按照《忆江南》的曲调填写的,第一行最短,只有三个字,第二、五行各五字,第三、四行各七字,第一、二、四、五行押韵。全词由短到长,又由长而短,读来长短交替,仿佛看见游击队员风餐露宿、神出鬼没一般。因此翻译的时候,应该尽可能地传达原诗的“音美”和“形美”,但《中国文学》还是把这段词译成分行散文:
Towards dawn
Our men wake early;
Dew-drenched clothes and bedding even in summer are cold;
In the trees cicadas shrill;
Grass clings to our uniforms.
这个译文虽然传达了原诗的内容,可以使人知之,但是各行长短不一,短的只有三个音节,长的却有十四五个,节奏也杂乱无章,不能使人好之。其实只要略加修改,换几个字,颠倒一下顺序,诗味就可以浓一些:
Towards daybreak,
Early our men awake.
Our bedding wet with dew, in summer we feel cold.
Among the trees cicadas shrill.
With grass our clothes bristle still.
我想在第四、五行之间加上一个“Behold!”好和第三行押韵,增加译文的“音美”。但是原诗第三行也没有押韵,因此就不必多此一举了。陈老总的诗词不但长短有致,而且注意修辞,如《赴延安留别华中诸同志》中的第五段是:“行行过太行,迢迢赴延安。细细问故旧,星星数鬓斑。”这一段五言诗各行都是以叠字开始的,翻译的时候最好能传达原文的这个特点,但是《中国文学》的译文只是:
Crossing the Taihang Mountains
Towards faraway Yan'an,
Asking for detailed news of my old friends,
My hair sprinkled already with grey.
这段译文是否译得“意似”?译者把第四行理解为诗人的头发灰白了,而不是“故旧”和“数鬓斑”,恐怕没有传达作者的原意。我想把这段改译如下:
On and on past Taihang we walk;
By and by to Yan'an we make our way.
Again and again with old friends we talk;
One by one we count our hairs grey.
这个译文用了重复on、by、again、one等字的办法,多少可以传达一点原诗的“音美”和“形美”,使人好之。自然,重复的办法不只可以用于译叠字,还可以用于其他情况,如陈老总的《长相思·冀鲁豫道中》:“山一程,水一程,万里长征足未停。太行笑相迎。昼趱行,夜趱行,敌伪关防穿插勤。到处有军屯。”我想把这两段诗译成:
From hill to hill,
From rill to rill,
We never stop for miles and miles,
Mount Taihang welcomes us with smiles.
By daylight,
By starlight,
We penetrate hostile posts here and there,
Our men are everywhere.
陈老总的诗词还有一个特点,那就是把旧诗、新诗、民歌的长处都熔于一炉,按规矩,又不受束缚,说是旧体,又不完全合格。因此翻译的时候,就不能够拘于一格。例如《还乡队歌》就非常口语化,前几行是:“还乡队,尽有罪。见人就杀,见酒就醉,见钱就拿,见女人就睡。”短短几行,重复了四个“见”字和“就”字。怎样才能传达这种民歌体的特殊风味呢?我想把这几行试译如下:
Home-going lords
Are guilty all:
They rob
People who sob;
They kill
And drink their fill;
They rape
Women who can't escape.
《动地诗》中除了选有毛泽东、周恩来、朱德、陈毅等老革命家的诗词之外,还选了一首钱来苏的《刘伯承、邓小平将军飞渡黄河》,这是当时记录解放战争大反攻序幕的史诗,全诗如下:“将军飞渡勇无俦,天险黄河一夜收。四十万军经一击,摧枯拉朽到莱州。防守徒夸有天险,持支危局仗滔滔。欢呼飞将从天降,顿使顽奴命运消。”我想把这首诗句试译成:
Generals Liu and Deng are brave without a peer,
O'ernight the Yellow River barring their way is crossed.
Four hundred thousand foes at one blow disappear;
Like crushed weeds and rotted wood Laizhou is lost.
In vain they boast of barriers o'er which none can fly
And seek precarious safety in the endless waves.
To our great joy, winged warriors come from the sky,
Suddenly it decides the fate of die-hard slaves.
《动地诗》中最后一首是叶剑英《远望集》中的《忆秦娥·祝科学大会》,全词如下:“追科学,西方世界鞭先着。鞭先着,宏观在宇,微观在握。神州九亿争飞跃,卫星电逝吴刚愕。吴刚愕,九天月揽,五洋鳖捉。”我把这首词译成:
Overtake the West,
Of advanced Western science keep abreast!
Keep abreast
In science of universe
And particles diverse.
The land of millions strives to be modernized;
Satellites passing like a bolt, Wu Gang's surprised.
Wu Gang's surprised
To see from high the moon down brought
And in the deep the turtles caught.
这首词的特点是:两段的第三行都是重复第二行的后半。如能译得自然,那译者是会觉得其乐无穷的。如果译者的乐趣能通过译文传达给读者,能感动人,那就达到了文学翻译的目的。
(原载《编译参考》1980年第6期)