金钥匙1 长短句需服务于写作目的和内容
英语写作,尤其是读后续写,并不是句子越长越好。过多地使用长句或过多地使用短句都不合适。长句和短句的表达效果不同,因而具有不同的文体效果。长句和短句各有服务目的,它们的运用取决于写作目的和内容。
先请欣赏原文的一则对话。
“You’re not going,” Joanna would say.
“I’m going,” Bill would shoot back.
Joanna would try to bargain. “You’re not taking your gun. Stay on a trail.”
“I’m hunting.”
“Take a friend.”
“They’re all dead.”
两人对话一来二去,都希望争取对方同意,且都不肯让步,用语简单,看似随便自然,却言简意赅、态度坚决,体现一种力度感。两个人对打猎的截然不同的态度表露无遗。
再例如:“Salant came across a familiar-looking green bush studded with pink berries and thought she remembered Aric identifying the plant as salmonberry.”(Salant偶然发现了一棵看上去很熟悉的绿色灌木,上面长满了粉红色的浆果,她回想起Aric认出这种植物是美莓。)这里运用了并列句,因为Salant一看到粉红色的浆果就想到了这是美莓,所以为了思维的连贯,此处使用and把两个句子串联成一个长句。
而下面却分别用三个短句,来表示Salant吃美莓的三个步骤。因为不确定自己是否辨别正确,所以Salant咬了一小口之后吐出来:“Salant nibbled at one of the fruits and spit it out.”接着她等了一小会儿再试吃另一口:“Waited a while, then sampled another.”最后确认美莓没毒之后,她就开始狼吐虎咽了:“Satisfied that the berries weren’t toxic, she gorged on them.”可见短句易于组织和表达,利于体现文章的层次感。
熟练的写作者会长短句结合着使用,以使句式富于变化、形式灵活、错落有致,文章具有节奏感、形象感。一篇文章如果都是长句,不但显得冗长,而且读者读起来很费力。当然,文章如果整篇都是短句,则显得单调乏味,而且容易造成零散的感觉,甚至导致句意不连贯,不适合高考这种选拔性考试。
金钥匙2 了解长短句的特征
长句是指用词较多、结构较复杂的句子。长句表意严密、内容丰富、精确细致,多用于表达较为复杂的思想内容。它的句式特点一般有:1)修饰语(如定语、状语)较多;2)并列成分多;3)某一成分的结构比较复杂。
例如:“She moved methodically, plotting every step, crossing and recrossing the stream to avoid obstacles, and balancing on fallen logs or clinging to tree roots.”(她有条不紊地走着,每一步都计划好,穿过小溪,重新穿过小溪,避开障碍物,靠倒在地上的树木来保持平衡或是紧紧抓住树根。)这句话以动作描写见长,描绘了Salant带伤前行的情景。主要动作是moved,其余的plotting、crossing、recrossing、balancing和clinging都是并列的动作,作伴随状语。一系列的动作通过一句话完整地表达出来,一气呵成。如果使用短句有支离破碎之感。
短句是指结构简单、词语较少的句子。它的特点是短小精悍、表意灵活、节奏分明、生动明快、简洁活泼。短句能简明扼要地叙述事实,简洁生动地表现人物,反映事物的迅速变化,表现作者激越的情绪或果断肯定的语气。
金钥匙3 短句放在段首或者段末揭示主题
短句放在段首或段末可以起概括、引出话题或揭示主题的作用。
例如:“It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces.”。首句概括“船上很冷”。接下来具体写怎么冷:“冰冷的浪花和雨水顺着他们的脖子悄悄流下”和“寒风拂过他们的脸”。这种先短后长的句群形式,让描写细致入微、惟妙惟肖。
再例如:“It was shaping up to be the perfect weekend. Last July, Pamela Salant, a 28-year-old preschool teacher, and her boyfriend, Aric Essig, 31, who works for a sailboat company, had driven two hours east from Portland, Oregon, to camp overnight in the Mount Hood National Forest. They planned to hike a mile and a half through the forest to Bear Lake, spend the night, and walk back out on Sunday to attend a birthday party for two of her students. It was sunny, clear, and fine.”。
第一句为短句,总起全文,概括整个故事,为故事奠定基调:本来是一个完美的周末(It was shaping up to be the perfect weekend.)。言下之意是意外发生了,与该段最后一句相呼应,引出下文的故事。
第二句为长句,主语是Pamela Salant and her boyfriend,中间用状语、定语和同位语修饰,符合长句的第三个特点。整个句子状语较多,符合第一个特点。该句主要有以下成分构成:last July (时间状语)、Pamela Salant (主语)、a 28-year-old preschool teacher (同位语)、and her boyfriend (并列主语)、Aric Essig (同位语)、31 (定语)、who works for a sailboat company (定语从句)、had driven (谓语) two hours (宾语) east from Portland, Oregon (地点状语)、to camp overnight (目的状语) in the Mount Hood National Forest (地点状语)。
第三句也是长句,出现了三个并列动作,符合长句的第二个特点:“They planned to hike (第一个动作) a mile and a half through the forest to Bear Lake, spend (第二个动作) the night, and walk (第三个动作) back out on Sunday to attend a birthday party for two of her students.”
最后一句“It was sunny, clear, and fine.”是短句,对意外发生之前的事情进行总结,照应第一句话。同时起到引出下面故事的作用。
如此可见,长短句结合使文章显得错落有致,给人的感觉干净利索,也通俗易懂,更有利于表达作者的中心思想。所以,我们一定要把长句、短句的优势和特点在英文写作过程中充分体现出来。
练一练:改写句子。
把下面的长句拆分为几个较短的句子,把短句合并为长句,不得改变原意,可以添加或删减必要的词汇,并说出理由。
1. She drank and washed out her injury and she thought the water was magical because it was pure and beautiful.
_________________________
2. “OK,” she said. She panted. She dragged herself out of the frigid water. “What’s the next step that I should do?”
_________________________
3. She scanned the horizon and she found that there were trees everywhere but nothing else.
_________________________
4. She landed on her right leg. She pitched over onto her side. She popped out of the water seconds later.
_________________________
5. “Aric! Where are you?” she called. “Aric, can you help me?”
_________________________
6. Deer season had begun. But it was colder than usual. He was sitting among the mounted bucks inside his rancher in Winchester, Virginia. He watched winter through the windows.
_________________________
7. He remembered one of his granddaughters had mentioned that. She had mentioned seeing a waterfall. She was rock-climbing in the area. He called her for advice.
_________________________
8. The inside was horrible. It smelled strongly of seaweed. The wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls. The fireplace was damp and empty.
_________________________