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第四节
小试牛刀

模拟演练 The Wolf at the Door

读后续写(满分25分)

阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

The Wolf at the Door

Andy Simmons

Russ Fee was asleep inside his tent last summer when a series of screams jolted him awake. Throwing on his shoes, he ran out to investigate. Fee and his wife were travelling through Canada’s Banff National Park to enjoy its stunning beauty and awesome wildlife. It was the latter he now encountered (遇到). Although it was dark, Fee could detect a neighboring tent in a mess. Backing out was a wolf, dragging something in his teeth. That thing was a man.

Moments earlier, Elisa and Matt Rispoli, from New Jersey, were asleep with their two young children when the wolf tore into their tent. It was like something out of a horror movie. For three minutes Matt threw his body in front of Elisa and the boys who would stand little chance of running faster than a wolf and fought the wolf with bare hands. At one point, Matt got the upper hand, pinning the wolf to the ground. But the wolf clamped its jaw onto Matt’s arm, set its powerful legs, and began tugging (拖,拽) Matt outside while Elisa was pulling on his legs trying to get him back.

It was then that Russ Fee entered the picture. He ran at the beast, kicking it like he was kicking in a door. The wolf dropped Matt and emerged (出现) from the tent. Wolves are large. Fee felt like he had punched someone that was way out of his weight class. He could feel its heavy breath on his face and he could smell the terrible pungent (刺激性的) odor it emitted (发出): fishy, oily and bloody.

The wolf turned its anger on Fee, exposing his sharp teeth and snarling at him. Terrified, Fee withdrew a bit. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his minivan was not far away. Meanwhile, panicked as they were, the two boys concealed themselves at a safe distance from the battle. The elder boy used the satellite phone to call for help.

注意:

1. 续写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Matt, his arms bloodied, flew out of the tent to resume the battle.

Just at that moment, a police car came, along with an ambulance.

(原文出处:rd.com)

思路拓展

1、故事梗概

本文的体裁是记叙文。故事背景是加拿大的班夫国家公园。主题是人与动物,以及人与社会。本文选自 Reader’s Digest USA ,记叙的是一个真实的故事。Russ Fee在加拿大的班夫国家公园露营时发现隔壁一家露营者Rispoli夫妇及两个孩子被狼袭击,热心而勇敢的他马上出手相救。

本文采用倒叙手法。第一段讲Russ Fee睡梦中被尖叫声惊醒,起来查看发现不远处的帐篷里有人被狼袭击。第二段讲述了Rispoli夫妇及两个孩子正在帐篷里安睡时被狼突袭。爸爸Matt徒手与狼搏斗,眼看由胜转败,要被狼拖出帐篷。妈妈Elisa在一旁死死拖住他,不让他被狼拖走。就在这个紧急关头,Russ Fee赶到,踢狼相助。

续写第一段提示句意为:“尽管手臂鲜血直流,Matt冲出帐篷和Russ并肩斗狼。”

续写第二段提示句意为:“在这千钧一发之际,警车和救护车赶到了。”

2、写作步骤

Step 1: Grasp the outline.

把握记叙文的六要素,把握故事梗概。

Step 2: List the plot.

梳理主要情节:Russ Fee:发现隔壁露营者受狼袭击→冲向恶狼→不顾自身安危,与狼搏斗→?

Matt Rispoli:睡梦中惊醒,发现帐篷内有狼→挡在妻儿面前→徒手与狼搏斗→渐占下风,即将被狼拖出帐篷→Russ赶到相助→冲出帐篷和Russ并肩斗狼→?

了解文章的主旨大意:狼口救人,勇敢助人。初步确定续写的方向和细节。

Step 3: Trace more clues.

在文章中寻找更多的线索。

Wolf:出现在Rispoli夫妇帐篷中,袭击→受到Matt的抵抗→咬伤Matt,想把Matt拖出帐篷→受到Russ Fee的踢打→狼的动作?→狼的结局?警车到了后逃了?被击毙了?

Elisa:拖住Matt,不让他被狼拖出帐篷→Russ Fee相助后,她做了什么?打电话求救吗?→警车和救护车到了后,她做了什么?想了什么?

Two boys:惊醒→躲起来→之后做了什么?Russ Fee相助后,继续躲着还是打电话求救?想了什么?→警车和救护车到了后,他们做了什么?想了什么?

很显然,狼与Russ Fee、Matt的大战是重头戏,续写时主要描写他们的行为动作,以动作描写为主。Elisa和两个男孩可以略写,用以推进情节发展,可适当加入心理描写,渲染当时的恐怖气氛。

原文最后一段还有一条隐藏的线索:“Terrified, Fee withdrew a bit. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw his minivan was not far away.”实力悬殊,Fee感觉斗不过狼了,只能撤退,而且自己的车又在不远处,显然车是理想的暂时躲避之处。

Step 4: Construct the plots and explore the theme.

续写时的情节一定要与原文相符,按照原文故事发生的逻辑谋篇布局。原文里的人物需分清主次,而不是面面俱到。比如续写时可以不对两个男孩进行描写,当然也可以写他们躲着的同时打了求救电话,因为妈妈也在参战。再比如,虽然原文未提及Russ Fee的妻子,其实她也在现场,这么大的声响她不可能不出来观望,所以续写时如果Russ Fee躲进车里,那么她也会起到一定作用。续写第一段以动作描写为主,适当加以心理描写。第二段可以增加语言描写。

本文的主题是颂扬Russ Fee不顾个人安危乐于助人的优秀品质,同时也歌颂了人们面对危险时的勇敢。续写时,不一定非得提炼特定的语言来升华这种思想品德,因为故事中Russ Fee的行动就说明了他的品质,表达出了作者的情感和写作意图。

Step 5: Complete and polish the story.

学生根据已知情节、主题、线索和所给段首句对文章结局进行合理推测、建构,培养和训练自己的逻辑思维及推理能力,完成故事。

注意对于续写第二段段首的just at that moment,要在第一段的结尾处有所体现,以展现情节的连贯和学生自身逻辑思维能力。

注意续写文章要根据原文的语言风格,模仿原文语言特点进行创造性的表达。如原文采用长短句结合,长句叙述,短句渲染紧张气氛。再比如原文的动作描写和心情描写都可以参照学习。

最后书写时要注意字迹清楚端正。

真题演练 2023年1月浙江卷读后续写

读后续写(满分25分)

阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

I was invited to a cookout on an old friend’s farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention, so I entered it. It was a hummingbird (蜂鸟), desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spider-webs (蛛网) and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up.

With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside, closing the door securely behind me.

When I opened my hand, the bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired? Or too thirsty?

As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to move. I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away.

Hovering (悬停), she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. Then she flew quickly out of sight.

During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment, all were speechless. Then someone said, “She must have come to say goodbye.”

注意:

1. 续写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.

I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. bb2eUgfYzCuXY07oqAsf1Dt0+BxJpBxNimQcFE5gCouBVnPj2Z6FN3ole2qdA+94

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