My biggest problem is my brother, Farley Drexel Hatcher.
Everybody calls him Fudge. I feel sorry for him if he’s going to grow up with a name like Fudge, but I don’t say a word. It’s none of my business.
Fudge is always in my way. He messes up everything he sees. And when he gets mad he throws himself flat on the floor and he screams. And he kicks. And he bangs his fists. The only time I really like him is when he’s sleeping. He sucks four fingers on his left hand and makes a slurping noise.
When Fudge saw Dribble he said, “Ohhhhh . . . see!”
And I said, “That’s my turtle, get it? Mine! You don’t touch him.”
Fudge said, “No touch.” Then he laughed like crazy.