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3.3 《剑12》范文(5.5分和7.5分范文对比)

很多考生经常问5.5和6分的作文有什么区别,高分作文长什么样。下面我给出一篇考生文章(题目来自《剑12》),大家可以对比一下。最后是我写的7.5~8分范文。

题目

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research,business and the academic world.others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

我先让一些考生写了关于这个题目的观点。很多考生的观点要么跑题,要么不够有逻辑。观点不好,会影响Task Response的分数。

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可以接受的观点

分享信息,让大众了解知识,培养人才。

尽可能多地分享信息,了解最新的动态,促进跨学科交流,有利于发展最新的科技。

分享信息,研究成果泄露,打击研究者的动力。

考生的作文

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点评

从很多考生的角度来看,这篇文章肯定是不错的文章。首先,字数很多,感觉就很强!

其次,各种从句、倒装句,还有分词,肯定是强强强!

最后,还有不少表达看上去很炫。

然而,这篇文章最后考场的分数只有5.5分。

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我写的作文

考官评分7.5~8分,TR 8分,CC 8分,LR 7~8分,GRA 8分。

Globalisation,along with the extensive use of digital technology,has facilitated information sharing among academics and businesspeople,regardless of nationality and race.I agree that the easy access to valuable information can foster innovation and address some global problems,despite the risk that some information can be misused.

We can find solutions to problems easily if we have unlimited access to different databases,such as those which contain information about how to cure diseases,prevent famines and mitigate pollution.This kind of knowledge is not available for people living in some poorest sections of the world,and this is why they are still afflicted by some preventable diseases and problems that can otherwise be avoided.

Some people are reluctant to share their know-how because they are afraid that their knowledge and intellectual properties can be exploited.This is particularly understandable in the business world,where companies are not willing to provide information about their managerial skills,software and patented products on the Internet.Their competitiveness would be undermined if their global competitors could acquire such information.

I would,however,view this issue in a positive light.While it is up to business owners to decide what information is withheld,they should exchange their ideas with their peers in the same industry.It can create an atmosphere worldwide,in which designers,inventors and engineers can mine each other’s information with permissions and come up with creative solutions,without having to advance their research alone through trial and error.

In conclusion,it may not be practical to require all people to give up the ownership of their essential knowledge,but they should accept that sharing in a globalised world is better than concealing information. ZMJlZyndazjQ05sr78KUQh3PdCmBz2Wpja37wPoudMKYL6pYW6lGeC9+CHcHeKxX

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