我不记得生病后的第一个月里发生了些什么事情。我只记得我在母亲做家务活时坐在她的膝上，或者抓住她的衣服。我用手触摸每一样东西，感觉每一个运动，就这样认识了好多东西。后来我感觉到和别人交流的必要，开始做一些简单的暗号，比如，摇头表示“不”，点头表示“是”，招手表示“过来”，推手表示“走开”。我想要面包吗？然后我就会模仿把面包切成片并涂上黄油的动作。如果我想要母亲做冰激凌，好在吃饭时享用，我就做出操作冰箱并瑟瑟发抖的样子，表示寒冷。而且，母亲成功地使我懂得了许多。当她希望我去为她拿东西时，我总能明白，并且跑上楼去，或者去她指示的任何别的地方。真的，在我漫长的黑夜里，一切光明和美好的东西都来自于母亲充满了爱的智慧。

我渐渐明白了许多发生在身边的事情。大约五岁的时候，我学会了把从洗衣店里取回的干净衣物叠起来放好，还能从中把自己的挑出来。当母亲和姑姑要外出时，我通过他们穿衣服的方式就知道了。我总是央求和她们一起去。当家里有客人来时我常常被带到客人面前，当客人走的时候，我向他们挥手表示再见，但我对这个手势的含义只有模糊的概念。一天，几个绅士来拜访母亲，我感觉到了关门的声响，还有其他一些暗示他们到来的声音。我突然产生了一个念头，乘人不备之时冲上楼，穿上最喜欢的礼服，像其他人一样在镜子前照来照去，还在脸上涂满了胭脂水粉。然后我在头上别了块面纱，让它遮住脸，还垂到了肩上，又在细小的腰上松松垮垮地系了块腰垫。因为太大，腰垫在背后一摆一摆的，几乎长到了裙子的摺边上。着了这样的盛装，我下楼来帮忙招待客人。

I do not remember when I first realized that I was different from other people; but I knew it before my teacher came to me. I had noticed that my mother and my friends did not use signs as I did when they wanted any-thing done, but talked with their mouths. Sometimes I stood between two persons who were conversing and touched their lips. I could not understand, and was vexed. I moved my lips and gesticulated frantically without result. This made me so angry at times that I kicked and screamed until I was exhausted.

I think I knew when I was naughty, for I knew that it hurt Ella, my nurse, to kick her, and when my fit of temper was over I had a feeling akin to regret. But I cannot remember any instance in which this feeling prevented me from repeating the naughtiness when I failed to get what I wanted.

In those days a little coloured girl, Martha Washington, the child of our cook, and Belle, an old setter, and a great hunter in her day, were my con-stant companions. Martha Washington understood my signs, and I seldom had any difficulty in making her do just as I wished. It pleased me to domi-neer over her, and she generally submitted to my tyranny rather than risk a hand-to-hand encounter. I was strong, active, indifferent to consequences. I knew my own mind well enough and always had my own way, even if I had to fight tooth and nail for it. We spent a great deal of time in the kitchen, kneading dough balls, helping make ice-cream, grinding coffee, quarreling over the cake-bowl, and feeding the hens and turkeys that swarmed about the kitchen steps. Many of them were so tame that they would eat from my hand and let me feel them. One big gobbler snatched a tomato from me one day and ran away with it. Inspired, perhaps, by Master Gobbler's success, we carried off to the woodpile a cake which the cook had just frosted, and ate every bit of it. I was quite ill afterward, and I wonder if retribution also overtook the turkey.

我不记得什么时候开始意识到自己与其他人的差别，但肯定是在我的老师到来之前。开始我注意到母亲和其他的朋友在他们想做什么事情时不用我所使用的暗号，而是用嘴来说。有时候我站在两个交谈者之间，用手指触摸他们的嘴唇，但不知道他们在说什么，我非常急躁。我使劲动起嘴唇，拼命做手势，然而一点用都没有。有时候这让我十分生气，就会踢东西，尖叫，一直折腾到精疲力竭为止。

我想我还记得自己什么时候很淘气，那时我伤害了保姆埃拉，曾经踢过她，但是在脾气过后我又感到后悔。然而，每一次我想要某件东西却得不到时又会像以前一样发脾气，在我的记忆中，我不记得哪一次会因为后悔这种感觉让我避免再次淘气。

在那些淘气的日子里，玛萨·华盛顿和贝尔是我的死党。玛萨是一个黑人女孩，是我们家厨师的孩子；贝利是一只老特种狗，那时可是捕猎好手。玛萨懂我的暗号，我几乎不费吹灰之力就能让她明白我的意思，在她面前飞扬跋扈很让我得意。她呢，总是很温顺地屈服于我的蛮横，从来不会动手反抗。我很结实，很活跃且任性，非常清楚自己脑子里面的那些念头，总是要按自己的意愿去行事，哪怕我不得不因此而与牙齿和指甲作斗争。我们一起在厨房度过了很多时间，捏汤圆啦，帮忙做冰激凌啦，磨咖啡豆啦，为争蛋糕吵架啦，等等。喂母鸡和火鸡很有趣。鸡群挤满了厨房的台阶，很多鸡是如此驯服，它们敢在我的手里吃东西，还让我抚摸。有一天，一只很大的雄火鸡从我这里偷了西红柿，掉头就跑了。火鸡的成功给了我们灵感，我们把厨师新鲜出炉的蛋糕偷到柴房里吃了个精光，之后我大病了一场，我在想啊，不知道这样的报应有没有在火鸡身上灵验呢？

The guinea-fowl likes to hide her nest in out-of-the-way places, and it was one of my greatest delights to hunt for the eggs in the long grass. I could not tell Martha Washington when I wanted to go egg-hunting, but I would double my hands and put them on the ground, which meant something round in the grass, and Martha always understood. When we were fortunate enough to find a nest I never allowed her to carry the eggs home, making her under-stand by emphatic signs that she might fall and break them.

The sheds where the corn was stored, the stable where the horses were kept, and the yard where the cows were milked morning and evening were unfailing sources of interest to Martha and me. The milkers would let me keep my hands on the cows while they milked, and I often got well switched by the cow for my curiosity.

The making ready for Christmas was always a delight to me. Of course I did not know what it was all about, but I enjoyed the pleasant odours that filled the house and the tidbits that were given to Martha Washington and me to keep us quiet. We were sadly in the way, but that did not interfere with our pleasure in the least. They allowed us to grind the spices, pick over the raisins and lick the stirring spoons. I hung my stocking because the others did; I cannot remember, however, that the ceremony interested me especially, nor did my curiosity cause me to wake before daylight to look for my gifts.

Martha Washington had as great a love of mischief as I. Two little chil-dren were seated on the veranda steps one hot July afternoon. One was black as ebony, with little bunches of fuzzy hair tied with shoestrings sticking out all over her head like corkscrews. The other was white, with long golden curls. One child was six years old, the other two or three years older. The younger child was blind—that was I—and the other was Martha Washington. We were busy cutting out paper dolls; but we soon wearied of this amusement, and after cutting up our shoestrings and clipping all the leaves off the honeysuckle that were within reach, I turned my attention to Martha’s corkscrews. She objected at first, but finally submitted. Thinking that turn and turn about is fair play, she seized the scissors and cut off one of my curls, and would have cut them all off but for my mother’s timely interference.

珍珠鸡喜欢把窝做在偏僻的地方，在茂密的草丛中寻找它们下的蛋是我最感兴趣的事情之一。我不能告诉玛萨我要去找鸡蛋，但是我还有别的招，我把双手掐在一起放在地上，意思是草丛里面某种圆形的东西，玛萨每次都心领神会。如果我们很幸运地找到一窝，我坚决不让玛萨把鸡蛋拿回家去，我会用强调的手势告诉她她可能会把鸡蛋掉在地上打碎。

我和玛萨可以在储存玉米的仓库、养马的马房，还有每天早上和晚上挤牛奶的院子里找到无穷无尽的乐趣。在挤奶的时候，挤奶工允许我摸奶牛，为了满足好奇心，我常常挨牛尾巴鞭打。

准备圣诞节也是让我觉得很有意思的事情。当然了，我并不知道都要干些什么，但是我喜欢房子里充斥着的那种舒适的气味，还有为了让我和玛萨保持安静而给我们的那些美味点心。当我们挡道时，大人们觉得我们碍手碍脚，让我们感觉很委屈，但是不一会儿工夫我们又会高兴起来的。大人们允许我们研磨调料，挑选葡萄干，摆放汤勺。我把袜子挂起来，因为其他人是这么做的。但我并不记得这种仪式让我特别感兴趣，我的好奇心也没有驱使我在天亮前醒来寻找我的礼物。

玛萨和我一样爱搞恶作剧。七月里一个炎热的下午，有两个小家伙坐在走廊的台阶上，一个黑得像黑檀树，头发用鞋带扎成螺旋状，另一个皮肤白皙，有一头长长的金色卷发。一个六岁，另一个比她大两三岁的样子，小一些的那个是个盲孩——也就是我，另一个就是玛萨·华盛顿。我们在忙着剪小纸人，但是很快我们就厌倦了这种游戏。剪完了鞋带和我们能够摘到的金银花叶子，我把注意力转向了玛萨的螺旋辫，起初她还反抗，最后还是顺从了。轮着来才是公平的游戏，她也拿起剪刀剪下了我的一缕缕卷发，要不是我母亲及时出现，她可能会把我头发全给剪光了。

Belle, our dog, my other companion, was old and lazy and liked to sleep by the open fire rather than to romp with me. I tried hard to teach her my sign language, but she was dull and inattentive. She sometimes started and quivered with excitement, then she became perfectly rigid, as dogs do when they point a bird. I did not then know why Belle acted in this way; but I knew she was not doing as I wished. This vexed me and the lesson always ended in a one-sided boxing match. Belle would get up, stretch herself lazily, give one or two contemptuous sniffs, go to the opposite side of the hearth and lie down again, and I, wearied and disappointed, went off in search of Martha.

Many incidents of those early years are fixed in my memory, isolated, but clear and distinct, making the sense of that silent, aimless, dayless life all the more intense.

One day I happened to spill water on my apron, and I spread it out to dry before the fire which was flickering on the sitting-room hearth. The apron did not dry quickly enough to suit me, so I drew nearer and threw it right over the hot ashes. The fire leaped into life; the flames encircled me so that in a moment my clothes were blazing. I made a terrified noise that brought Viny, my old nurse, to the rescue. Throwing a blanket over me, she almost suffocated me, but she put out the fire.Except for my hands and hair I was not badly burned.

About this time I found out the use of a key. One morning I locked my mother up in the pantry, where she was obliged to remain three hours, as the servants were in a detached part of the house. She kept pounding on the door, while I sat outside on the porch steps and laughed with glee as I felt the jar of the pounding. This most naughty prank of mine convinced my parents that I must be taught as soon as possible. After my teacher, Miss Sullivan, came to me, I sought an early opportunity to lock her in her room. I went upstairs with something which my mother made me understand I was to give to Miss Sullivan; but no sooner had I given it to her than I slammed the door to, locked it, and hid the key under the wardrobe in the hall. I could not be induced to tell where the key was. My father was obliged to get a ladder and take Miss Sullivan out through the window—much to my delight.Months after I produced the key.

我家的狗贝利，也就是我的另一个伙伴，又老又懒惰，老喜欢在火炉边睡觉而不愿和我嬉戏。我尽力教它明白我使用的暗号语言，但是它太迟钝、太懒散了。有时候它会突然站起来，兴奋地抖抖身子，然后身子变得非常硬挺，就像狗窥视着一只鸟时所表现的那样。我当时不知道贝利为什么会有如此举动，只知道它肯定没有像我希望的那样去做。这很让我恼怒，功课往往以单边拳击比赛结束。有时候它会站起来，伸伸懒腰，打一两个喷嚏，又到壁炉的另一面躺下了。我呢，既厌烦又失望，只好出去找玛萨。

早年的好多事情都烙在我的记忆里。它们彼此孤立，但清晰可辨，使我对那种寂静的、无目的的、暗无天日的生活的感觉更加强烈。

有一天，我不小心把水洒在了围裙上，我把它拿到起居室那闪耀着火星的壁炉边去烘干。围裙干得不快，我等不及，把它靠近了些，不料直接放在了热灰之上，围裙马上燃起了火，火焰包围了我，我的衣服在顷刻之间燃烧起来，我发出惊恐的声音，老保姆威尼听到声音赶来救我，她抓了块毯子把我裹住，差点让我窒息，不过总算把火扑灭了，除了手和头发以外，其他地方没有严重的烧伤。

大约在这个时候，我发现了钥匙的用途。一天早上，我把母亲锁在楼上的餐具室。仆人们在偏房里住，她在那里毫无办法地待了三个小时。她不停地撞门，我感觉到撞门的震动，却坐在走廊的台阶上窃笑。这是我最淘气的一次，父母由此意识到我应该尽快接受教育。我的老师莎莉文小姐来了以后，我还找到了一次绝佳的机会把她锁在房间里面。事情是这样的，我拿着母亲要我给莎莉文小姐的东西到楼上，还没有把东西给她我就把门关起来上了锁，并把钥匙藏在大厅里的衣柜下面，任凭怎么利诱我都不肯说出钥匙藏在什么地方。父亲只好找一架梯子把莎莉文小姐从窗户接出来，我觉得这很有趣。几个月后我才把钥匙拿出来。

When I was about five years old we moved from the little vine-covered house to a large new one. The family consisted of my father and mother, two older half-brothers, and, afterward, a little sister, Mildred. My earliest distinct recollection of my father is making my way through great drifts of newspapers to his side and finding him alone, holding a sheet of paper before his face. I was greatly puzzled to know what he was doing. I imitated this action, even wearing his spectacles, thinking they might help solve the mystery. But I did not find out the secret for several years. Then I learned what those papers were, and that my father edited one of them.

My father was most loving and indulgent, devoted to his home, seldom leaving us, except in the hunting season. He was a great hunter, I have been told, and a celebrated shot.Next to his family he loved his dogs and gun. His hospitality was great, almost to a fault, and he seldom came home without bringing a guest. His special pride was the big garden where, it was said, he raised the finest watermelons and strawberries in the county; and to me he brought the first ripe grapes and the choicest berries. I re-member his caressing touch as he led me from tree to tree, from vine to vine, and his eager delight in whatever pleased me.

He was a famous story-teller; after I had acquired language he used to spell clumsily into my hand his cleverest anecdotes, and nothing pleased him more than to have me repeat them at an opportune moment.

I was in the North, enjoying the last beautiful days of the summer of 1896, when I heard the news of my father's death. He had had a short illness, there had been a brief time of acute suffering, then all was over.

我五岁时，我们从葡萄藤覆盖的小房子搬到了一所大房子，家庭成员包括父亲、母亲、两个同父异母的哥哥，后来还添了个小妹妹——米尔德里德。关于父亲，我最早的记忆是从一大堆报纸中走向他，发现他一个人坐在那里，手里拿着一张报纸凑在脸前看。我很想知道他在干什么，便学着他的样子，还戴上他的眼镜，以为这样可以帮我揭开谜底，但是我在几年中都没有找到答案，后来我才知道那些纸张是什么，原来父亲正在编辑其中一张。

父亲很慈爱、很宽容，对家庭尽职尽责，除了打猎季节外几乎没有离开过我们。他是一个打猎好手，有人跟我说他的枪法很精湛。除了家人，他最爱就是他的猎狗和猎枪了。他非常好客，几乎有点过头，基本上每次都带着客人回家。最让他骄傲的是那个大花园，据说他在那里种了全国最好吃的西瓜和草莓。每年他都把第一串熟透的葡萄和千挑万选的浆果摘给我。还记得他亲切地拉着我从一棵树到另一棵树，从一株葡萄到另一株葡萄，他对任何事物都很热心，让我过得很愉快。

他还是一个讲故事的能手，在我学会使用语言以后，他经常在我手心里笨拙地拼写他的那些聪明的轶闻趣事。我能在适当的时候重述这些故事的话，那他最高兴不过了。

一八九六年的夏天，我正在北方欣赏夏末的风景，却传来了父亲去世的噩耗。他得了急性病，短暂的痛苦之后一切便结束了。我第一次体验到巨大的悲恸。这是我第一次感受和死亡有关的经历。

This was my first great sorrow—my first personal experience with death.

How shall I write of my mother? She is so near to me that it almost seems indelicate to speak of her.

For a long time I regarded my little sister as an intruder. I knew that I had ceased to be my mother's only darling, and the thought filled me with jealousy. She sat in my mother's lap constantly, where I used to sit, and seemed to take up all her care and time. One day something happened which seemed to me to be adding insult to injury.

At that time I had a much-petted, much-abused doll, which I afterward named Nancy. She was, alas, the helpless victim of my outbursts of temper and of affection, so that she became much the worse for wear. I had dolls which talked, and cried, and opened and shut their eyes; yet I never loved one of them as I loved poor Nancy. She had a cradle, and I often spent an hour or more rocking her. I guarded both doll and cradle with the most jealous care; but once I discovered my little sister sleeping peacefully in the cradle. At this presumption on the part of one to whom as yet no tie of love bound me I grew angry. I rushed upon the cradle and overturned it, and the baby might have been killed had my mother not caught her as she fell. Thus it is that when we walk in the valley of twofold solitude we know little of the tender affections that grow out of endearing words and actions and companionship. But afterward, when I was restored to my human heritage, Mildred and I grew into each other's hearts, so that we were con-tent to go hand-in-hand wherever caprice led us, although she could not understand my finger language, nor I her childish prattle.

我应该怎样写我的母亲呢？她和我是如此亲近，对她说长道短的似乎有些不敬。

很长一段时间里，我把妹妹当做一个入侵者。有了妹妹，我知道自己再也不是母亲唯一的宝贝了，于是心里充满了嫉妒。她坐在母亲的膝盖上，那里是我曾经坐过的地方，她似乎占据了母亲所有的关怀和时间。有一天，发生了一件我觉得侮辱了我的事情。

当时我有一个非常宠爱的布娃娃，我后来叫她南茜。唉，她成了我发泄情感的无辜牺牲品，被我弄得脏兮兮的。虽然我有很多布娃娃，有会说话的、会哭的、会眨眼的，但是可怜的南茜才是我的最爱。她有一个摇篮，我经常花上一个小时或者更多的时间来摇她。我非常警惕地守护着摇篮和南茜，容不得别人碰一碰。但是有一次我发现妹妹竟然在摇篮里酣然畅睡，于是我无端地觉得我再也得不到一点点爱了，憎意油然而生，一手把摇篮推翻，要不是母亲在妹妹坠落的瞬间把她接住，妹妹可能就没命了。当我们在没有光明、没有声响的荒原跋涉，而且陷入孤独的深渊时，我们根本不懂温柔细腻的情感，根本不知道何谓友爱，也不知道如何表情达意，甚至连句温馨的话也不会说，连个展现爱的动作也不会做。但是后来，当我重获人性的善美，米尔德里德和我成了无所不言的知心朋友，无论我们脑子里的想法相距多么遥远，我们始终相爱如一，尽管她不懂我的手指语言，我也不懂她的孩子气。 agwqCl0parjj4ybUlzOtvEkf3fWj58zX9NonpWn8uL7CUJBTlGXPEh8l0vwcNAiX