第四章

我的老师安妮·曼斯菲尔德·莎莉文到来的那一天，是我生命中最为重要的日子。当我回想老师到来前后的生活，心里充满了惊叹，因为两者之间真是有天壤之别啊。这个重要的日子是一八八七年三月三日，离我满七岁还差三个月。

那天下午，我静静地在走廊里站着，内心充满了期待。我从母亲的暗示和一家人忙忙碌碌的样子猜测到有重要的事情要发生了，于是我走到门口，坐在台阶上等候。下午的阳光穿过覆盖在走廊上的金银花树叶，倾泻在我的脸蛋上。我的手指在那熟悉不过的花和叶子上下意识地拨弄着，金银花趁着南方的春天盛开着。我不知道未来会带给我怎样的奇迹和惊奇。愤怒和伤悲纠缠了我好几个星期，已经弄得我疲惫不堪，脆弱无力了。

要是你曾经在笼罩着茫茫白雾的大海上航行的话，你会感觉仿佛有一道白色的屏障裹住你和船，让你无法逃脱，让你焦虑不已，只能摸索着、小心翼翼地寻找海岸，你会怀着惴惴不安的心情等待着将要发生的事情，对不对？我刚刚接受教育的时候就像那样一艘漂荡在茫茫大海上的小船，而且没有罗盘或是其他任何的航海工具，也不知道离海岸还有多远，“光明！给我光明！”是我灵魂深处无声的呐喊。在那一刻，只有母亲爱的阳光能照耀我。

I felt approaching footsteps. I stretched out my hand as I supposed to my mother. Some one took it, and I was caught up and held close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me, and, more than all things else, to love me.

The morning after my teacher came she led me into her room and gave me a doll. The little blind children at the Perkins Institution had sent it and Laura Bridgman had dressed it; but I did not know this until afterward. When I had played with it a little while, Miss Sullivan slowly spelled into my hand the word “d-o-l-l”. I was at once interested in this finger play and tried to imitate it. When I finally succeeded in making the letters correctly I was flushed with childish pleasure and pride. Running downstairs to my mother I held up my hand and made the letters for doll. I did not know that I was spelling a word or even that words existed; I was simply making my fingers go in monkey-like imitation. In the days that followed I learned to spell in this uncomprehending way a great many words, among them pin, hat, cup and a few verbs like sit, stand and walk. But my teacher had been with me several weeks before I understood that everything has a name.

One day, while I was playing with my new doll, Miss Sullivan put my big rag doll into my lap also, spelled “d-o-l-l” and tried to make me under-stand that “d-o-l-l” applied to both. Earlier in the day we had had a tussle over the words “m-u-g” and “w-a-t-e-r”. Miss Sullivan had tried to impress it upon me that “m-u-g” is mug and that “w-a-t-e-r” is water, but I persisted in confounding the two. In despair she had dropped the subject for the time, only to renew it at the first opportunity. I became impatient at her repeated attempts and, seizing the new doll, I dashed it upon the floor. I was keenly delighted when I felt the fragments of the broken doll at my feet. Neither sorrow nor regret followed my passionate outburst. I had not loved the doll. In the still, dark world in which I lived there was no strong sentiment of tenderness. I felt my teacher sweep the fragments to one side of the hearth, and I had a sense of satisfaction that the cause of my discom-fort was removed. She brought me my hat, and I knew I was going out into the warm sunshine. This thought, if a wordless sensation may be called a thought, made me hop and skip with pleasure.

我感觉到了渐渐逼近的脚步声，还以为是母亲来了，便伸出双臂，有人接住了，并把我紧紧地抱在臂弯里，这个人就是那个来为我揭开万物奥秘的人，最重要的，她是那个来给我以爱的人。

老师到来的那天早上，她把我带到她的房间，给了我一个布娃娃。它是伯金斯盲人学校的盲童送的，是劳拉·布里奇曼给穿的衣服，这些都是我后来才知道的。我刚刚玩了一小会儿，莎莉文小姐在我的手心慢慢拼写了单词“布娃娃”，我立刻对这种手指游戏产生了兴趣，尝试着模仿。当我能正确写出字母来时，心里充满了欢乐和骄傲。我冲下楼去找到母亲，抬手拼写这个单词。其实我压根儿不知道自己正在拼写着一个单词，甚至不知道还有这么一个单词的存在，我只是像小猴学戏似的比划着手指罢了。接下来的几天里，尽管我一点儿都不理解意思，却学会了拼写很多个单词，其中有“别针”、“帽子”、“茶杯”，还有几个动词，像“坐”、“站立”、“行走”。老师花了好几个星期的时间才让我明白，原来每样东西都有一个名字。

一天，我正在玩我的新布娃娃，莎莉文小姐把那个大布娃娃放到我膝盖上，拼写着“布娃娃”想让我明白这两个都是“布娃娃”。那天早些时候，我被两个单词“茶杯”和“水”搅得很不耐烦，莎莉文小姐三番五次地强调“杯子”就是杯子，“水”就是水，但是我老是把它们搞混淆。无奈之余，她把这事给放下了，等有机会了再教我。她一遍又一遍地拼写着“布娃娃”，我失去了耐心，抓起那个新娃娃撕了个粉碎，当布娃娃的碎片落到我脚上，我有一种报复的快意。在感情不能自持的时候，我既不会感到悲伤，也不会感到抱歉。我已不再爱布娃娃了。在我寂静、黑暗的世界里，并没有深厚的温情。凭感觉，我知道老师把撕碎的布娃娃扫到壁炉的另一面，我感到一丝的满足，抵消了先前的不快。她拿起我的帽子，我知道我将要去温暖的阳光下了，这个念头——如果没有语言表征的意识也算念头的话——让我高兴地又蹦又跳。

We walked down the path to the well-house, attracted by the fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered. Some one was drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout. As the cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word water, first slowly, then rapidly. I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten—a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that “w-a-t-e-r” meant the wonderful cool some-thing that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away.

I left the well-house eager to learn. Everything had a name, and each name gave birth to a new thought. As we returned to the house every object which I touched seemed to quiver with life. That was because I saw everything with the strange, new sight that had come to me. On en-tering the door I remembered the doll I had broken. I felt my way to the hearth and picked up the pieces. I tried vainly to put them together. Then my eyes filled with tears; for I realized what I had done, and for the first time I felt repentance and sorrow.

I learned a great many new words that day. I do not remember what they all were; but I do know that mother, father, sister, teacher were among them—words that were to make the world blossom for me, “like Aaron's rod, with flowers.” It would have been difficult to find a happier child than I was as I lay in my crib at the close of the eventful day and lived over the joys it had brought me, and for the first time longed for a new day to come.

井房上爬满了金银花，花香袭人。我们沿路漫步到井房，有人在汲水，老师把我的手放在水管下面，当清凉的井水流过我的手时，老师在我的另一只手上拼写了单词“水”，开始时慢慢地，然后加快了速度。我站着一动不动，注意力完全集中到她手指的运动上了，突然间，我感觉到曾经遗忘的某样东西在迷雾之中浮现，思想的重现让我心里有一种震颤；不知怎的，语言的奥秘对我显露了。我终于明白“水”就是流过我手心的这种清凉、妙不可言的东西！这个流动的单词唤醒了我沉睡的灵魂，给这灵魂带来光明、希望和幸福，给她自由！虽然后面的路途还存在许多障碍，然而扫除这些障碍只是迟早的问题了。

怀着求知的急迫心情，我离开了井房。每样事物都有它的名字，每个名字都带来一个新的思想。当我们回到房间里，我所触摸的每样东西都好像注入了生命，都在颤抖，因为我用刚获得的这种陌生的、全新的视力来看世界。一进门我就想起了那个被我撕碎的布娃娃，我摸索着到壁炉那边拾起那些碎片，想把它们拼起来，但是徒劳无功。这时我的眼里充满了眼泪，因为我意识到自己都做了些什么，第一次感到后悔和悲伤。

那天我学了很多单词，现在不能回忆出所有的了；但是还记得其中有“妈妈”、“爸爸”、“妹妹”、“老师”——它们将会像“亚伦的鲜花神杖”那样，让我的世界开满鲜花。当这有意义的一天结束，躺在我的小床上，我想世界上再也没有比我更幸福的孩子了。我心中洋溢着欢乐，第一次盼望新的一天赶快到来。