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欧内斯特·海明威（Ernest Hemingway , 1899-1961），美国记者、作家。他笔锋犀利，一向以“文坛硬汉”形象著称，被认为是20世纪最著名的小说家之一。他凭借《老人与海》（ The Old Man and the Sea ）于1952年获得普立策奖，后又于1954年斩获诺贝尔文学奖。
海明威历经四次婚姻，第一任妻子是大他八岁的哈德利。她陪他在巴黎度过了穷困潦倒、默默无闻的日子。儿子邦比出生后，和其他夫妻一样，他们也要面对家庭生活的“一地鸡毛”，两人感情出现危机。彼时，海明威名声渐起，这段婚姻最终以他的移情别恋而告终。1927年，海明威与哈德利离婚，随后与波琳·法伊芙结婚。这封信是海明威向父亲讲述他离婚和再婚的情况。
Hendaye, France
14 September 1927
Dear Dad,
Thanks very much for your letter and for forwarding the letter to Uncle Tyley. I had a good letter from him yesterday. You cannot know how badly I feel about having caused you and Mother so much shame and suffering—but I could not write you about all of my and Hadley’s troubles even if it were the thing to do. It takes two weeks for a letter to cross the Atlantic and I have tried not to transfer all the hell I have been through to anyone by letter. I love Hadley and I love Bumby—Hadley and I split up—I did not desert her nor was I committing adultery with anyone. I was living in the apartment with Bumby—looking after him while Hadley was away on a trip and it was when she came back from this trip that she decided she wanted the definite divorce. We arranged everything and there was no scandal and no disgrace. Our trouble had been going on for a long time. It was entirely my fault and it is no one’s business. I have nothing but love, admiration and respect for Hadley and while we are busted up I have not in any way lost Bumby. He lived with me in Switzerland after the divorce and he is coming back in November and will spend this winter with me in the mountains.
You are fortunate enough to have only been in love with one woman in your life. For over a year I had been in love with two people and had been absolutely faithful to Hadley. When Hadley decided that we had better get a divorce the girl with whom I was in love was in America. I had not heard from her for almost two months. In her last letter she had said that we must not think of each other but of Hadley. You refer to “Love Pirates”, “persons who break up your home etc.” and you know that I am hot tempered but I know that it is easy to wish people in Hell when you know nothing of them. I have seen, suffered, and been through enough so that I do not wish anyone in Hell. It is because I do not want you to suffer with ideas of shame and disgrace that I now write all this. We have not seen much of each other for a long time and in the meantime our lives have been going on and there has been a year of tragedy in mine and I know you can appreciate how difficult and almost impossible it is for me to write about it.
After we were divorced if Hadley would have wanted me I would have gone back to her. She said that things were better as they were and that we were both better off. I will never stop loving Hadley nor Bumby nor will I cease to look after them. I will never stop loving Pauline Pfeiffer to whom I am married. I have now responsibility toward three people instead of one. Please understand this and know that it doesn’t make it easier to write about it. I do understand how hard it is for you to have to make explanations and answer questions and not hear from me. I am a rotten correspondent and it is almost impossible for me to write about my private affairs. Without seeking it—through the success of my books—all the profits of which I had turned over to Hadley—both in America, England, Germany and the Scandinavian countries—because of all this there is a great deal of talk. I pay no attention to any of it and neither must you. I have had come back to me stories people have told about me of every fantastic and scandalous sort—all without foundation. These sorts of stories spring up about all writers—ball players—popular evangelists or any public performers. But it is through the desire to keep my own private life to myself—to give no explanations to anybody—and not to be a public performer personally that I have unwittingly caused you great anxiety. The only way l could keep my private life to myself was to keep it to myself—and I did owe you and Mother a statement on it. But I can’t write about it all the time.
I know you don’t like the sort of thing I write but that is the difference in our taste and all the critics are not Fanny Butcher. I know that I am not disgracing you in my writing but rather doing something that some day you will be proud of. I can’t do it all at once. I feel that eventually my life not be a disgrace to you either. It also takes a long time to unfold.
You would be so much happier and I would too if you could have confidence in me. When people ask about me, say that Ernie never tells us anything about his private life or even where he is but only writes that he is working hard. Don’t feel responsible for what I write or what I do. I take the responsibility, I make the mistake and I take the punishment.
Yours lovingly,
Ernie
亲爱的父亲：
非常感谢您的来信，以及帮忙转交信件给泰勒叔叔。昨天我收到了一封他寄来的好意劝解的信。您不知道，让您和母亲如此蒙羞痛苦，我深感惭愧。我和哈德利之间的矛盾，我本该写信一一告知与您，但恕不能从之。一封信跨越大西洋需两周之期，而且我也不希望把我已经历的炼狱之痛凭借信件加诸于他人。我爱哈德利和邦比，虽然哈德利和我解除婚约，但并不是我抛弃她，也不是我与他人私通。我和邦比一直同住一个公寓，哈德利外出旅行时，我照顾他的饮食起居。而当她外出归来时，她决意与我离婚。我们已将一切安排妥当，没有流言蜚语，也没有丢人现眼。我们之间的矛盾由来已久。此事完全归咎于我，与他人无关。对于哈德利，我唯有爱慕、钦佩和尊敬，再无其他。即使我们离婚，我也绝不会放弃邦比。离婚后，我和邦比一起居住在瑞士。11月份，他将会回来陪我在山里过冬。
您真是幸运之至，一生唯钟情于一人。过去一载，我心里爱着两个人，但我对哈德利绝对忠实。当哈德利决定我们最好还是离婚时，我爱的那个女孩正在美国。两个月里，她一直没有捎来只言片语。在最近一封信中，她说道，我们不应只考虑彼此，应该为哈德利着想。您提及“爱情的强盗”“破坏你家庭的人”等字眼，您知道我性情急躁，但是我明白，当一个人对他人一无所知时，很容易恶言诅咒他们下地狱。而我已目睹和亲历了这般痛苦，所以我不会诅咒任何人下地狱。正是因为我不希望您桎梏于蒙受羞辱的精神枷锁，我才提笔写信告知原委。我们已许久未见，与此同时，我们的生活依然在继续，发生在我身上的不幸已有一年，我相信您能理解，将这一切付诸于纸笔对我来说已实属不易，这几乎是不可能做到的啊。
离婚后，如果哈德利需要我，我还是会回到她身边。但是她说一切都在好转，我们两人的境况都在变好。我对哈德利和邦比的爱永无止境，也不会停止照顾他们，而我对现任妻子波琳·法伊芙的爱也永无休止。我现在肩负的责任并非只我一人，而是三人。请您理解这一切，并理解我将此事付诸笔端并非易事。我的确明白，你不得不向他人解释原委并回答疑问，加之我又杳无音讯，您是何其艰难。我极不擅长写信，要我把私事形诸笔墨几乎是天方夜谭。出乎意料的是，我的书在美国、英国、德国以及一些北欧国家大获成功，我把所有的收益都交给了哈德利，为此，我又被议论纷纷。我不在乎这些流言蜚语，您也无须理会。我已经回归自我，所有关于我的流言蜚语都是无稽之谈。这类故事涌现在每一个作家、运动员、福音传道士或任何演员身上。但是正是因为我渴望保有自己的一方私密天地，不愿向别人解释是非，也不愿沦为大众演员，才无意中致使您焦虑不已。唯一能使我拥有私人生活的方法，就是对这些事情守口如瓶。我确实欠您和母亲一个解释。但是我不能总是写信来谈论它。
我知道您不喜欢我的作品，但这是我们品味相左，而且并非所有的评论家都是范尼·布彻那种人。我知道我没有在我的作品中让您蒙羞，而是在做着一件将来您一定会引以为傲的事情。但我不能马上让您如愿以偿。我感觉到最终我的生活不会使您蒙垢。这需要经过日久年深才能展现出来。
如果您能对我报以信心，您会感觉到更多的幸福，我也会幸福。当有人打听我，您就说欧尼从未向你们告知过有关他私生活的一切，甚至连身在何处，你们也无法得悉，只是说他在努力地工作。您不必为我所写的和所做的负责，如果我犯了错误，我自己会接受惩罚。
爱你的，欧尼
1927年9月14日
于法国昂代伊
海明威对父亲充满尊重、崇敬，以及对其懦弱性格又深感羞愧的复杂情感。儿时，父亲常带着海明威钓鱼、狩猎，他从父亲身上汲取了勇气、毅力、耐心以及热爱生活和大自然的营养元素。但是父母无休止争吵的压抑氛围也为海明威的童年留下了阴霾。父母每次争吵总是以父亲的无言退让而告终，这让年幼敏感的海明威对父亲深感同情，但又深以为耻。此后，他便极力塑造充满阳刚之气的“硬汉形象”，竭力摆脱父亲的懦弱阴影。
但是海明威步父亲后尘，吞枪自杀的谜，一直困扰着大众神经。关于父子的结局也是众说纷纭。一说是命运使然，海明威的血液里继承了父亲的自杀欲望。但时下更为人们所接受的观点是他不堪病痛折磨和江郎才尽的窘境。联系到他一生奉行的至理名言：人可以被毁灭，但绝不能被打败，也是顺理成章。在即将走向落寞之前，以“毁灭”而不是“打败”的方式，将人生永远定格在曾经辉煌的时光中，未尝不是对他信奉的真理的践行。
forward [ˈfɔːwəd]
v. 寄
adultery [əˈdʌltəri]
n. 通奸
evangelist [ɪˈvændʒəlɪst]
n. 福音传教士
unwittingly [ʌnˈwɪtɪŋli]
ad. 不知不觉地，不经意地