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D uring Julien's absence, life had been for Madame de Renal nothing more than a succession of torments, each different but all alike intolerable ; she was really ill.
“You must not, on any account,” Madame Derville told her when she saw Julien return, “feeling as you do, sit in the garden this evening, the damp air would make you worse.”
Madame Derville was surprised to see that her friend,who was always being scolded by Mr. de Renal for the undue simplicity of her clothing, had put on rather fancy stockings and a pair of charming little shoes that had arrived from Paris.
“She is in love, poor woman!” Madame Derville said to herself. She understood all the strange symptoms of her illness.
She saw her speak to Julien. After a terrible struggle,Madame de Renal at last ventured to say to him, in a shaking voice, in which the whole extent of her passion lay revealed.
“Are you going to leave your pupils to take a post elsewhere?”
Julien was struck by her voice and by the look in her eyes.“This woman loves me,” he said to himself; “but after this passing weakness for which her pride is reproaching her, and as soon as she is no longer afraid of my going, she will return to her arrogance.”
“I should greatly regret leaving such attractive and well born children, but perhaps it will be inevitable. A man has duties towards himself also.”
Julien was sullen all the evening. He let go of Madame de Renal's hand. Trembling at the thought of losing him forever,her passion carried her to the point of seizing Julien's hand.This action stirred the ambitious youth. He said to himself, “I must have one of these two women.” He realised that he would greatly have preferred to pay his court to Madame Derville;it was not that she was more attractive, but she had seen him always as a tutor honoured for his learning, and not as a working carpenter.
As he followed up this survey of his position, Julien saw that he must not think of attempting the conquest of Madame Derville, who had probably noticed the weakness that Madame de Renal showed for him. Forced to return to the latter: “This would be a good opportunity to repay her all the contempt she has shown for me. God knows how many lovers she has had! Perhaps she is deciding in my favour only because of the facilities for our meeting.”
Julien once more withdrew his hand from that of Madame de Renal, then took her hand again and pressed it. As they returned to the drawing room, towards midnight, Madame de Renal murmured in his ear, “Are you leaving us, are you going away?”
Julien answered with a sigh, “I must indeed go away, for I love you passionately ; it is a sin... and what a sin for a young priest!”
The night passed for these two people very differently.Madame de Renal was filled by the loftiest moral pleasure.“Never will I allow Julien to take any liberty,” Madame de Renal told herself, “we shall live in the future as we have been living for the last month. He shall be a friend.”
intolerable /ɪnˈtɒlərəbl/ adj. 无法忍受的，难耐的
undue /ˌʌnˈdju:/ adj. 过度的，过分的；不适当的
sullen /ˈsʌlən/ adj. 愠怒的，闷闷不乐的
repay /rɪˈpeɪ/ vt. 偿还，报答
passionately /ˈpæʃənətlɪ/ adv. 热情地，激昂地