13

A few minutes later, Peter looked out the window and saw a few buildings on the right. Atop one of them was a sign that said TANKSTELLE.

That was “gas station” in German.

“Petrol and toilets!” Dmitri announced in his no-nonsense voice. “Ten minutes!”

Dmitri stood beside the bus door, arms at his sides, as everyone disembarked. Flash was first down the steps, cell phone in hand, recording.

“Flash Mob, this is what we doin’ out here in...in some...someplace,” Flash finished lamely.

“Toilet, toilet, toilet, toilet, toilet,” Mr. Dell said anxiously. “Which way to the toilet?”

Dmitri was entirely unresponsive, leaving Mr. Dell to skid in the gravel, and run off to findthe bathroom.

Ever the optimist, or perhaps just perpetually clueless, Mr. Harrington walked up to Dmitri with a road map. “Dimitri, where exactly are we?”

It was as if he expected Dimitri to wax eloquently about their precise location, how long it would take them to reach their destination, and colorful sights to look out for along the way.

However, as was his custom, Dmitri said nothing. Instead, he stared daggers at Mr. Harrington.

“Okay,” Mr. Harrington accepted, looking at his map as he walked away. “I’ll figure it out. Yeah.”

“Oh my gosh,” Betty squealed as she got off the bus, holding Ned’s hand. “It’s so scenic! It’s beautiful.”

Peter was last down the steps, but before he could look for the bathroom, Dmitri’s left hand caught him in the chest, stopping him. Then Dmitri pointed at a building behind the gas pumps that said GASTHAUS. A tavern. A woman with blonde hair and dressed in black stood in the doorway.

Realizing he was back on Nick Fury’s clock, Peter obediently walked over to the door and entered.

“Hello!” he greeted the woman, smiling. He hoped that being friendly would start them off on the right foot.

“Close the door,” the woman responded, not returning the smile.

Peter did as he was told. Then he walked over toward the woman, hand extended politely. “Um, I’m Peter Parker,” he said, introducing himself.

The woman didn’t even make an effort to shake his hand. All she said was, “Take off your clothes.”

“Excuse me?” Peter asked, clutching the strap on his backpack. This was not what he’d expected.

“You told Fury Spider-Man cannot be seen in Europe,” the woman related. “So I made you this.”

She handed a flat, black package to Peter. “Another suit,” she noted.

“Oh. Uh...thank you,” Peter said, taking the package from the woman. “I’m sure it fits fine. I don’t really need to try it—”

“Take off your clothes!” the woman insisted.

It was a bajillion percent clear that the woman wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer.

“Okay. Sure. Um, it’s just a little embarrassing,” Peter hesitated as he set the package down on a nearby foosball table. Then he took off his backpack, and started to remove his clothes to try on the new costume. He tried not to think about having an audience for this.

“Now! Hurry up!” the woman ordered. She was focused on accomplishing her mission.

“This is...weird,” Peter admitted as he pulled his pants down to his ankles.

It was at that precise moment that the door opened, and in walked—

Wait for it—

BRAD.

“No, no-no! Uh, don’t!” Peter shouted as he scooted behind the woman, his right hand outstretched toward Brad.

“Whoa!” was all Brad could say in the moment.

Peter couldn’t do much better. All he managed to utter was “Ahhhhh...”

“Sorry?” Brad apologized insincerely, while trying to figure out what he’d just walked in on. “Uh...I thought this was the bathroom.”

“This is not what it looks like!” Peter swore, waving his hand. “Just—”

“Yeah,” Brad agreed as he snapped a picture of Peter with his cell phone. Because this could be useful.

“What are you doing? Brad!” Peter demanded as he scooted along the floor, pants around his ankles, toward Brad.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Brad said, quickly exiting the building.

Suddenly, the woman pulled her weapon, aiming it at the door.

“Oh my God. Don’t shoot anybody!” Peter begged the woman. Pulling up his pants, Peter chased after his classmate. “Brad! It’s not what it looks like, buddy!”

Outside the Gasthaus, Peter saw Brad heading back to the bus. “Hey, man, look, that’s—”

“Look, Peter,” Brad confided, “I’m not here to judge your life choices, dude. If you wanna hook up with some random chick on our school trip, that’s on you.” He was totally judging.

“That’s not what that was. Honestly!” Peter protested.

“I can’t pretend that I didn’t see what I just saw. I know you’re trying to get with MJ. It’s obvious. But I like her, too.” Oh no! It was suddenly clear to Peter what the blackmail photo was about. But no…MJ couldn’t see it!

Peter felt like his brain was going to melt. “Wait a minute. Hey, hey, come—you cannot show her that photo, dude. Come on!” he pleaded.

“I’m sorry, man,” Brad explained, backing away. “I have to. She deserves the truth.” The truth that would help Brad get closer to MJ.

With all his amazing powers, Peter felt entirely helpless as he watched Brad walk off carrying a cell phone and a photo that could end his plans with MJ before they even started.

A minute later, everyone was back on the bus, and Dmitri took to the road once more.

Dejected, Peter looked around the corner of his seat. All the way in back, he could see Brad, typing away on his cell phone. He didn’t need EDITH to tell him what Brad was doing.

But that didn’t stop him from putting on the glasses anyway.

“EDITH?” Peter said softly as he slumped over in his seat.

“Hello, Peter. How can I help you?” EDITH replied.

“Hey. Um, there’s this guy in my class who’s kinda gonna ruin everything with MJ...” He kept his voice low as he confided in the artificial-intelligence system.

“Peter, I’m having difficulty hearing you. Can you please speak up?” EDITH requested.

Peter winced. “Um, Brad Davis. He has a photo of me?”

“Brad Davis. Is he a target?” EDITH needed clarification.

“Is Brad a target?” Peter repeated the question.

Then he turned around and looked over the side of his seat again. Brad was typing a text message. And thanks to EDITH, he could see that Brad was getting ready to send the picture of him with the woman from the Gasthaus to MJ.

“Um...yeah,” Peter confirmed. Then he glanced at MJ. She hadn’t received anything on her cell phone yet. “He’s a target. He’s a target. Um—”

“Copy that,” EDITH responded. “Target is Brad Davis. Initiating strike.”

“Initiating what now?” Peter questioned, cocking his head.

“Intercept point determined. Releasing kill vehicle.”

That didn’t sound good. “EDITH—”

Unbeknownst to Peter at that moment, orbiting Earth from high above, a massive Stark Industries satellite was deploying a drone. In seconds, the drone entered through the planet’s atmosphere, leaving a flaming trail in its wake.

It was heading right for the tour bus.

Peter watched a readout on his glasses that said SCAN ACTIVATED, along with a picture of Brad.

EDITH was going to destroy Brad.

“Oh my God,” Peter whispered. He had to tell EDITH to call off the strike!

But before he could do anything, Flash grabbed the frames from his head. “Dope glasses, Parker. How’d you pay for these, huh?”

“Flash, give ’em back,” Peter blurted. “Give me the gla—Flash!”

Peter reached for the glasses, but Flash shoved his hands away. “No, no, no. I am really paying you a compliment,” Flash said, sincerely, but annoyingly.

“Give me the glasses! Please! Give me—” Peter was desperate. Brad’s life was in danger because of his actions!

But Flash wouldn’t give him the glasses, so Peter smacked him in the head abruptly, and knocked him right out. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized, not having meant to hurt Flash.

Peter took back the glasses and put them on. “EDITH. Don’t kill Brad!” he ordered.

“Peter, do you want me to cancel the drone strike on Brad Davis?” EDITH waited for his command.

Suddenly, Peter felt another student’s eyes on him. “Did you just punch Flash?” the student asked him.

“No!” Peter insisted.

Which was the absolute wrong thing to say in the moment. Peter realized it, too, when EDITH said, “Firing.”

Then the words TARGET ACQUIRED appeared in his glasses.

If he didn’t act fast, Brad Davis was gonna be toast, and it would be all Peter’s fault. Reacting quickly, he fired a web at the steering wheel, causing the vehicle to suddenly veer to the left. The drone fired a laser blast that bored a hole right through the mirror on the left side of the bus.

Dmitri held tight to the wheel, trying to regain control of the bus as it slammed into the rail on the left-hand side. If the bus crashed through, they’d go right over the side of a mountain and that would be the end of the field trip for sure.

Students were sent flying back and forth across the aisle as the bus careened down the curving road.

“This is not the Autobahn!” Mr. Dell shouted to Dmitri.

“EDITH!” Peter called out. When he didn’t hear her voice, Peter reached up and touched the glasses on his face.

The glasses that weren’t there.

Because they were on the steps leading out of the bus toward the door.

Peter lunged and grabbed the glasses, but by the time he put them on, he heard EDITH say, “Commencing second strike.”

“Peter!” Mr. Harrington raised his voice in what was, for him, an authoritative way. “Plant your fanny in that seat and buckle up right now!”

“Look at the baby mountain goats!” Peter said breathlessly, pointing out the window.

“Baby mountain goats?” Mr. Harrington repeated, easily distracted, as he turned to look out the window.

“Ooh! Ooh!” Mr. Dell was anxious to get a look.

The students all turned to see the reported creatures, too.

So no one noticed as Peter jumped straight up, pushed open an emergency hatch on the roof of the tour bus, and fired his web-shooters at the drone. The webbing hit the drone, and then an outcropping of rock behind it.

The drone strained against the webbing, unable to go forward. It fired at the webbing, causing it to dislodge.

But by then the drone had already built up too much momentum. Instead of going forward to destroy Brad, the drone rolled toward the right and crashed into the ground. A second later, it rolled across the road, disabled.

Peter landed back inside the bus, just in time to hear Mr. Harrington say, “I don’t see any mountain goats.”

“You missed ’em,” Peter told him, standing in front of the bus. His hair was completely disheveled, and he was panting from the sudden burst of activity.

“I know you think none of us have noticed, Peter,” Betty commented, with a knowing tone.

Uh-oh, Peter thought. Here it comes...

“What?” Peter asked innocently.

“But your new look? I love it,” Betty affirmed. “Right, babe?” She checked with Ned for backup on her fashion assessment.

New look? Peter thought. Then he realized that he was still wearing the EDITH glasses and his hair was all windblown.

“Thanks,” he said, relieved she hadn’t noticed anything truly unusual.

“Yeah,” Ned agreed. “Sophisticated, classy, very European.”

Peter fell down into his seat, panting. “Oh man,” he addressed EDITH. “Let’s try that again.”

This time, instead of ordering a drone strike to fry his rival for MJ, Peter just asked EDITH to delete the incriminating photo from Brad’s cell phone. As soon as EDITH confirmed it was deleted, Peter leaned over his seat, and saw Brad sitting next to MJ.

“Uh, this is so weird. It was right here on my phone,” Brad said, confused and frustrated.

“Yeah.” MJ was unimpressed. “Weird.”

Then she looked up and stared right at Peter.

Peter’s eyes went big, and he ducked back in his seat.

“Ow,” Peter heard, and he looked over to see Flash just now waking up, rubbing his right temple.

Maybe no more bus trips, Peter thought.