7.(20150712) These days, children spend more time on doing homework or participating in organized activities related to school or sports.However, they should be given more time to do whatever they want.

头脑风暴

在当今社会，孩子们花更多的时间在学业或者统一组织的活动上；然而，他们应该有更多的时间去做他们想做的事情。在思考自己的观点时，可以考虑这两类活动的特点和合理性。如果是学习或者是学校组织的活动，则可以让孩子学习到更多的知识，参与的活动一般来说更有教育意义；但是，这样可能会使孩子自由支配的时间变少，增加他们的压力。如果让孩子有更多的自主时间，他们可以培养自己的兴趣爱好，能够有时间参与社交活动，结识朋友；但是，如果缺乏自律，他们的学业可能会受到影响。

范文思路

论点： 学生应当有更多自由支配的时间。

理由一： 孩子通过尝试自己喜欢的活动，可以找到自己真正的兴趣。

理由二： 让孩子自己安排时间可以培养他们独立自主的能力。

理由三： 统一安排的活动也许有助于孩子的未来发展，但是不应过早地将他们的未来限制在特定的道路上，应该让孩子自己去探索世界。

范文文本

Nowadays, children are arranged to do homework and participate in school-organized activities in spare time when they are supposed to have fun doing whatever they want.I strongly suggest the teachers and parents give their kids more freedom and choices in spending their own after-school time for the following reasons.

To begin with, children will get the chance to deeply explore their true interests during the process of trying out what they want to do.There will be kids who are amazingly talented in music and arts, so if you let them utilize their born gifts, they will create beautiful songs and paintings.Also, by allowing the kids who are keen on science the opportunities to visit labs and to do scientific experiments, you are inspiring them and motivating them to pursue what they really like.People are born to be different, so it would be unreasonable to deprive kids of the time they have to figure out about their true talents and ask every single child to take part in the same activities and do the same homework.For example, a child may be very good at mathematics and have bested many high-schoolers in primary school.But can we call it a successful education when her true interest lies in art and humanities and when she wants to become a sociologist who paints once in a while?

论据

这篇文章属于论点展开内容大于论据内容，当缺乏恰当例子时，可以尝试拉长段内展开的逻辑线，最后再用两三句话扣回论点。

观点

进行教育类话题观点的头脑风暴时，可以从对学生过去、现在、未来的发展三方面考虑。

Additionally, giving children some spare time to do what they want helps them learn how to manage their own time, which is crucial for their future development, especially their professional life.After all, parents can’t follow their kids for a lifetime, telling them when to do anything; therefore, the earlier kids begin to make their own schedule, the easier it is for them to develop independence for future study.I myself am a pretty good example.When I was in primary school, my mother signed me up for the school swimming team, school chess club and a bunch of extra courses, but she never forgot to empty the whole Sunday afternoon so that I could manage the time by myself.I usually divided it into three parts—reading, doing math, and playing game.Gradually, I grow the habit to do a schedule at the beginning of every period and I am good at carrying out my plans.

Some people may argue that doing homework and participating in school-related activities make it possible for children to embrace the most promising future, but isn’t it too early for such young children to step on the perfectly right track and live a perfectly planned life? Regular homework and activities should be left for teenagers or even university students, while memories of fun and happiness are the things that should be left for kids’ beautiful childhood when they look back.Therefore, let the innocent kids take more time to see the world, to explore the nature and to enjoy themselves.

In conclusion, although doing homework and participating in organized activities related to school or sports do have a positive impact on the kids’ growth, leaving them free time to do whatever they want is more beneficial in a long run.

总结

这篇范文从结构、逻辑和语言上来看都算上乘，但文章也有很多需要注意的地方。比如，在进行托福作文的写作时，尽量避免使用第二人称和过多的问句，可以多用第三人称来替代；另外，避免将大量从句堆砌在一个句子中，增加文章书面化和简洁性，减少有对话感的句子，增强作文的议论性。

语料积累

单词

best 打败，胜过

词组

be arranged to do 被安排去做某事

try out 尝试

be keen on 喜爱

be born to be 天生就是

deprive...of 剥夺

after all 毕竟

make their own schedule 做出自己的安排

embrace the most promising future 拥抱最有前途的未来

step on the perfectly right track 走上正确的轨道 uCR6TR+fFC/PU9M1xCUYfRrNXEDGxRlaN/u3SLT7WbBTb8UpUccLeemL1RaEOqI0