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6.(20170325) Which of the following factors do you believe is the most important in helping students succeed in their studies at the college or university? Why?

— Having access to the university tutors who provide individual instruction for students who have difficulty with schoolwork.

— Having the support and encouragement of family and friends while attending university.

— Receiving a high-quality education from excellent teachers while in high school.

头脑风暴

这道题问的是帮助学生在大学期间取得学业成功的三种因素,需要选择一种你认为最重要的因素。一是可以为学生提供单独指导的大学导师,这样的方式可以更加直接有效地帮助学生解决困难和疑惑;二是来自家人和朋友的支持,可以从心理上给予学生鼓励,帮助学生树立信心;三是在高中时期就受到良好的教育,这种方式可以为学生在大学的学习奠定基础。在作答时可以结合自己的学习经历选择自己认为最合适的一个观点。

范文思路

论点: 来自家人和朋友的鼓励是最关键的因素。

理由一: 来自家人和朋友的关心可以使学生感到温暖,减少负面情绪甚至抑郁的发生,能够帮助学生取得学业进步。

理由二: 来自家人和朋友的支持会激励学生产生对学习的热情。

理由三: 尽管其他因素也很重要,但是来自家人和朋友的关爱是独特的、无可替代的。

范文文本

Colleges or universities are places where students learn knowledge and cultivate independence so that they could better fit in the everchanging society and find a job to support themselves and their families.To achieve that, it’s essential for students to work hard and succeed in their studies at the college or university.Among all the factors that contribute to an outstanding student, I consider having the encouragement from family and friends the most important one.

观点展开

学生的心理健康是论证教育类话题时一个很好的出发角度。

Encourage from surroundings can facilitate students to reduce negative emotions and even prevent them from depression.It has been reported that the depression rate of university students had reached a highest point in recent years and one of the main sources of depression is the lack of care students receive from the outside world.Depression can lead to a low efficiency in doing school work and a low concentration in taking courses, exerting a negative influence on the students’ academic life.It could also harm their physical and mental health.However, if parents could show more support to their kids, and friends could reach out to each other, students would be less likely either to get depressed or to become negligent of their academic work; instead, they will be encouraged owing to solid backups.The thought that they are being supported and understood will help reduce the depression rate and thus help students make progress in their own fields.In fact, according to a project of some psychology students in UCLA, students who live within 100 miles from their parents are 40% less likely to be depressed.

论据

本段论点之后的内容全部都是例子,在写作中尽量避免这种情况,论点的展开要填充饱满。

Support and encouragement might also spur students’ passion towards study.Take my elder sister as an example.When she was in the first year of university, she took regular lessons, finished her homework, and spent rest of the time hanging out with friends.She completed her duty but did nothing more to improve herself.However, during the summer vacation, her parents visited her on campus and told her how they fully supported her on the major decision, study expenditure and all the other aspects.My sister was really touched and grateful for their support.She decided to work much harder so that she wouldn’t disappoint her parents.In the new semester, she picked up a new language, participated in a professor’s program, and selected two more electives.Seeing how love and encouragement have changed her, I have realized the importance of these elements.

让步段

提出其他因素对于学生的进步成长也一样重要,再指出这些因素是可以被轻易替代的,使得文章总体的论证更加紧密。

I must admit that there are other crucial factors that contribute to the development of students such as a tutor who could help with their homework and a high-quality pre-college education.Yet these factors can be easily substituted.Students can ask for their classmates’ help when it comes to homework and as long as they are eager learners, the shortage in high school educational resources could be made up through hard work, but what could take the place of love and support from a student’s parents and friends? I guess the answer is nothing.

In a nutshell, having the support and encouragement of family and friends while attending university is indispensable in helping a student succeed.

总结

在论点相似时,语料库中积累的词句可以互相运用,比如本文的第二个观点,关于学生对学习的热情,可以用教育类话题中“兴趣/选择”文章里的例子和词句来进行撰写。

语料积累

单词

indispensable 不可或缺的

词组

cultivate independence 培养独立性

ever-changing society 不断变化的社会

owing to 因为,由于

solid backups 坚实的依靠

spur students’ passion towards 刺激学生对……的热情

pick up 学会

make up 弥补

in a nutshell 总而言之 /eSfWhjLRN6Yv4f0y7nDHYVPx/DhamnVU9kjqDgU0DKLNL++P7V7vMrUsraEEkX3

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