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CHAPTER 8

“Come on, I feel like I'm the only one eating here. Try some of that. Have some eggs!” The tone was jovial, relaxed.

The scene was surreal. Inside the diner, Steve, Nat, and Scott were having breakfast with Bruce Banner.

Only he wasn't Bruce Banner.

But he wasn't exactly the Hulk, either.

He was ... he was like a combination of both. Banner's brain, Hulk's brawn. He was wearing eyeglasses, a T-shirt, and a sweater over his immense green form. Bruce looked like a college professor, if he were a Super Hero.

Bruce was sitting on a chair outside the booth. Huge portions of food were on the table, as Bruce pushed a big bowl of eggs over to Scott. The diner was crowded, but surprisingly, not everyone was staring at their big, green guest.

“I'm so confused,” Scott admitted.

“These are confusing times,” Bruce said, chuckling.

“Right, no, no. That's ... that's, not what I, I meant, I—” He didn't want to sound insulting. Not to a guy who could pound him into the consistency of those eggs.

Bruce looked at the pancakes on the table in front of him, drizzling syrup on them. “Nah, I get it. I'm kidding! I know, it's crazy. I'm wearing shirts now.” He sounded proud.

“Yeah,” Scott agreed. “Wha—how? Why?”

“Five years ago, we got our asses beat,” Bruce recounted, chewing on a mouthful of pancakes. “Except it was worse for me. 'Cause I lost twice. First, Hulk lost, then Banner lost. And then, we all lost.” He took a moment to reflect.

“No one blamed you, Bruce,” Natasha comforted him softly.

“I did,” Bruce replied. “For years, I've been treatin' the Hulk like he's some kind of disease, something to get rid of. But then, I start looking at him as the cure. Eighteen months in the gamma lab.” It hadn't been easy.

Bruce stretched slightly, indicating his new body. “I put the brains and the brawn together, and now look at me! Best of both worlds,” Bruce proclaimed.

“Excuse me, Mr. Hulk?”

Bruce looked over his shoulder, and saw three kids approaching him. A girl was holding a cellphone.

“Yes?” Bruce answered.

“Can we ... can we get a photo?” she asked.

“One-hundred percent, little person!” Bruce said with enormous enthusiasm. He took the phone from the girl, gesturing for her and the two other kids to come closer. Then he handed the phone to Scott. “Do you mind?”

It took Scott a second to realize that Bruce wanted him to take the picture. “Oh yeah, yeah,” he stammered.

“Thanks,” Bruce said, as the kids stood next to him. He took off his glasses, as Scott stood up on the bench, holding the phone up. “Say ‘green!’ ”

“Green!” the kids cheered in unison, grinning wide.

Scott snapped the picture, then sat down, offering the phone back to the girl. “That's a good one. Did you want to grab one with me? I'm Ant-Man.” He smiled earnestly at them.

The kids just sort of looked at each other, confused. Scott sat there, dangling the phone in his hand.

When they didn't respond, embarrassed, Scott rationalized, “They're Hulk fans. They don't know Ant-Man. Who—nobody does.” He'd been gone for five years, while they'd grown up having Bruce in the world.

“What? No, no. Oh, he feels bad,” Bruce said to the kids. “No, he wants to take a picture with you.”

Now Scott's face was turning red. “I don't want a picture.”

“Stranger danger,” noted one of the kids, referring to Scott.

“Yeah, look, he's even saying no,” Scott protested. “I get it. I don't want it, either.” This was so awkward.

“But come on,” Bruce tried again, not letting it go. “The kid ... but ... but you ... you ...” While he'd gotten better at dealing with his own condition, his social skills may not have actually improved that much over time.

“I don't want a picture with them,” Scott insisted, holding out the phone to the girl.

“He's gonna feel bad,” Bruce continued to one of the kids. To Scott, he enthused, “They're happy to do it. They said they'll do it.” He just wanted everyone to be happy.

“That's okay, we can do it,” conceded one of the kids, reluctantly.

“I don't want it. It's fine. No, no. I don't wanna do it,” Scott denied, feeling absolutely terrible and wishing he could just shrink out of sight.

“No, you, you feel bad,” Bruce was determined to make this happen.

Finally, Scott erupted. “Take the goddamn phone.” Would this never end ?

Bruce's eyes went wide. “Okay,” he finally dropped the subject, as the girl took the phone from Scott.

“Thank you, Mr. Hulk,” she said politely.

“No, no, it was great, kids. Thank you very much!” He was still in his element.

As the kids turned to leave, Bruce flexed his massive muscles, then lifted his arms, doing a dab.

“Hulk out!” Bruce clearly had created his own brand, as the kids dutifully repeated the phrase.

“Bruce,” Steve tried to get things back on track.

“Listen to your mom,” Bruce advised, calling after the kids. “She knows better.”

“About what we were saying,” Steve pushed forward. They were there for a reason.

“The whole time-travel do-over? Ah, guys, it's outside of my area of expertise,” Bruce shrugged.

“Well, you pulled this off,” Natasha said, pointing to Bruce's new form. “I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible, too.”

At that, Bruce didn't have anything to say.

So he sat, and he thought. +PGNyEETQrwiACtqka0sxcJ5I/WMvvSb0WY8JAyrAW6MlcQ1M6p2pT2Tju+t6uXq

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