下载掌阅APP，畅读海量书库
立即打开
A few days ago I was at a private Ball given by M r Ash-burnham. As my Mother never goes out she entrusted me to the care of Lady Greville who did me the honour of calling for me in her way and of allowing me to sit for-wards, which is a favour about which I am very indifferent especially as I know it is considered as confering a great obligation on me. ‘So Miss Maria’ （said her Ladyship as she saw me advancing to the door of the Carriage） ‘you seem very smart to night - My poor Girls will appear quite to disadvantage by you - I only hope your Mother may not have distressed herself to set you o≠. Have you got a new Gown on?’
‘Yes Ma’am,’ replied I with as much indifference as I could assume.
‘Aye, and a fine one too I think—’ （feeling it, as by her permission I seated myself by her） ‘I dare say it is all very smart - But I must own, for you know I always speak my mind, that I think it was quite a needless peice of expence - Why could not you have worn your old striped one? It is not my way to find fault with people because they are poor, for I always think that they are more to be despised and pitied than blamed for it, especially if they cannot help it, but at the same time I must say that in my opinion your old striped Gown would have been quite fine enough for its Wearer - for to tell you the truth （I always speak my mind） I am very much afraid that one half of the people in the room will not know whether you have a Gown on or not - But I suppose you intend to make your fortune tonight—：Well, the sooner the better; and I wish you success.’
‘Indeed, Ma’am, I have no such intention—’
‘Who ever heard a Young Lady own that she was a Fortune-hunter?’ Miss Greville laughed, but I am sure Ellen felt for me.
‘Was your Mother gone to bed before you left her?’ said her Ladyship—
‘Dear Ma’am,’ said Ellen, ‘it is but nine o’clock.’
‘True, Ellen, but Candles cost money, and M rs Williams is too wise to be extravagant.’
‘She was just sitting down to supper, Ma’am—’
‘And what had she got for Supper?’ ‘I did not observe.’ ‘Bread and Cheese I suppose.’ ‘I should never wish for a better supper,’ said Ellen. ‘You have never any reason’replied her Mother, ‘as a better is always provided for you.’ Miss Greville laughed excessively, as she constantly does at her Mother’s wit.
Such is the humiliating Situation in which I am forced to appear while riding in her Ladyship’s Coach - I dare not be impertinent, as my Mother is always admonishing me to be humble and patient if I wish to make my way in the world. She insists on my accepting every invitation of Lady Greville, or you may be certain that I would never enter either her House, or her Coach, with the disagrea-ble certainty I always have of being abused for my Poverty while I am in them. - When we arrived at Ash-burnham, it was nearly ten o’clock, which was an hour and a half later than we were desired to be there; but Lady Greville is too fashionable （or fancies herself to be so） to be punctual. The Dancing however was not begun as they waited for Miss Greville. I had not been long in the room before I was engaged to dance by M r Bernard, but just as we were going to stand up, he recollected that his Servant had got his white Gloves, and immediately ran out to fetch them. In the mean time the Dancing began and Lady Greville in passing to another room went exactly before me - She saw me and instantly stopping, said to me though there were several people close to us;
‘Hey day, Miss Maria! What cannot you get a partner? Poor Young Lady! I am afraid your new Gown was put on for nothing. But do not despair; perhaps you may get a hop before the Evening is over.’So saying, she passed on without hearing my repeated assurance of being engaged, and leaving me very provoked at being so exposed before every one - M r Bernard however soon returned and by coming to me the moment he entered the room, and leading me to the Dancers, my Character I hope was cleared from the imputation Lady Greville had thrown on it, in the eyes of all the old Ladies who had heard her speech. I soon forgot all my vexations in the pleasure of dancing and of having the most agreable partner in the room. As he is moreover heir to a very large Estate I could see that Lady Greville did not look very well pleased when she found who had been his Choice - She was determined to mortify me, and accordingly when we were sitting down between the dances, she came to me with more than her usual insulting importance attended by Miss Mason and said loud enough to be heard by half the people in the room, ‘Pray, Miss Maria, in what way of business was your Grandfather? for Miss Mason and I cannot agree whether he was a Grocer or a Bookbinder.’ I saw that she wanted to mortify me, and was resolved if I possibly could to prevent her seeing that her scheme succeeded. ‘Neither Madam; he was a Wine Merchant.’ ‘Aye, I knew he was in some such low way - He broke did not he?’ ‘I beleive not Ma’am.’ ‘Did not he abscond?’ ‘I never heard that he did.’ ‘At least he died insolvent?’‘I was never told so before.’ ‘Why, was not your Father as poor as a Rat?’ ‘I fancy not.’ ‘Was not he in the King’s Bench once?’ ‘I never saw him there.’ She gave me such a look, and turned away in a great passion; while I was half delighted with myself for my imperti-nence, and half afraid of being thought too saucy. As Lady Greville was extremely angry with me, she took no further notice of me all the Evening, and indeed had I been in favour I should have been equally neglected, as she was got into a party of great folks and she never speaks to me when she can to any one else. Miss Greville was with her Mother’s party at Supper, but Ellen pre-ferred staying with the Bernards and me. We had a very pleasant Dance and as Lady G——slept all the way home, I had a very comfortable ride.
The next day while we were at dinner Lady Greville’s Coach stopped at the door, for that is the time of day she generally contrives it should. She sent in a message by the Servant to say that ‘she should not get out but that Miss Maria must come to the Coach-door, as she wanted to speak to her, and that she must make haste and come immediately—’ ‘What an impertinent Message Mama!’ said I—‘ Go Maria—’ replied She - Accordingly I went and was obliged to stand there at her Ladyship’s pleasure though the Wind was extremely high and very cold.
‘Why I think, Miss Maria, you are not quite so smart as you were last night - But I did not come to examine your dress, but to tell you that you may dine with us the day after tomorrow - Not tomorrow, remember, do not come tomorrow, for we expect Lord and Lady Clermont and Sir Thomas Stanley’s family - There will be no occa-sion for your being very fine for I shan’t send the Carriage - If it rains you may take an umbrella—’ I could hardly help laughing at hearing her give me leave to keep myself dry - ‘And pray remember to be in time, for I shan’t wait - I hate my Victuals over-done - But you need not come before the time-How does your Mother do? She is at dinner is not she?’ ‘Yes, Ma’am, we were in the middle of dinner when your Ladyship came.’ ‘I am afraid you find it very cold, Maria,’ said Ellen. ‘Yes, it is an horrible East wind’—said her Mother—‘I assure you I can hardly bear the window down - But you are used to be blown about the wind, Miss Maria, and that is what has made your Complexion so ruddy and coarse. You young Ladies who cannot often ride in a Carriage never mind what weather you trudge in, or how the wind shews your legs. I would not have my Girls stand out of doors as you do in such a day as this. But some sort of people have no feelings either of cold or Delicacy - Well, remem-ber that we shall expect you on Thursday at 5 o’clock - You must tell your Maid to come for you at night - There will be no Moon - and you will have an horrid walk home - My Compliments to your Mother - I am afraid your dinner will be cold - Drive on—’And away she went, leaving me in a great passion with her as she always does.
Maria Williams
My Uncle gets more stingy, my Aunt more particular, and I more in love every day. What shall we all be at this rate by the end of the year! I had this morning the happi-ness of receiving the following Letter from my dear Musgrove.
Sackville St：Janry 7 th
It is a month to day since I beheld my lovely Henrietta, and the sacred anniversary must and shall be kept in a manner becoming the day-by writing to her. Never shall I forget the moment when her Beauties first broke on my sight - No time as you well know can erase it from my Memory. It was at Lady Scudamore’s. Happy Lady Scudamore to live within a mile of the divine Henrietta! When the lovely Creature first entered the room, Oh! what were my sensations? The sight of you was like the sight of a wonderful fine Thing. I started-I gazed at her with Admiration - She appeared every moment more Charming, and the unfortunate Musgrove became a Cap-tive to your Charms before I had time to look about me. Yes Madam, I had the happiness of adoring you, an unhappiness for which I cannot be too grateful. ‘What,’ said he to himself, ‘is Musgrove allowed to die for Hen-rietta? Enviable Mortal! and may he pine for her who is the object of universal Admiration, who is adored by a Colonel, and toasted by a Baronet!—’ Adorable Henrietta how beautiful you are! I declare you are quite divine! You are more than Mortal. You are an Angel. You are Venus herself. Inshort, Madam, you are the prettiest Girl I ever saw in my Life - and her Beauty is encreased in her Mus-grove’s Eyes, by permitting him to love her and allowing me to hope. And Ah! Angelic Miss Henrietta, Heaven is my Witness how ardently I do hope for the death of your villanous Uncle and his Abandoned Wife, Since my fair one will not consent to be mine till their decease has placed her in affluence above what my fortune can procure—. Though it is an improvable Estate—. Cruel Henrietta to persist in such a resolution! I am at present with my Sister where I mean to continue till my own house which tho’an excellent one is at present somewhat out of repair, is ready to receive me. Amiable princess of my Heart farewell-Of that Heart which trembles while it signs itself your most ardent Admirer
and devoted humble Servt
T. Musgrove
There is a pattern for a Love-letter Matilda! Did you ever read such a masterpeice of Writing? Such Sense, Such Sentiment, Such purity of Thought, Such flow of Language and such unfeigned Love in one Sheet? No, never I can answer for it, since a Musgrove is not to be met with by every Girl. Oh! how I long to be with him! I intend to send him the following in answer to his Letter tomorrow.
My dearest Musgrove—. Words can not express how happy your Letter made me; I thought I should have cried for Joy, for I love you better than any body in the World. I think you the most amiable, and the handsomest Man in England, and so to be sure you are. I never read so sweet a Letter in my Life. Do write me another just like it, and tell me you are in love with me in every other line. I quite die to see you. How shall we manage to see one another? for we are so much in love that we cannot live asunder. Oh! my dear Musgrove you cannot think how impatiently I wait for the death of my Uncle and Aunt-If they will not die soon, I beleive I shall run mad, for I get more in love with you every day of my Life. How happy your Sister is to enjoy the pleasure of your Company in her house, and how happy every body in London must be because you are there. I hope you will be so kind as to write to me again soon, for I never read such sweet Letters as yours. I am, my dearest Musgrove, most truly and faithfully yours for ever and ever
Henrietta Halton
I hope he will like my answer; it is as good a one as I can write, though nothing to his; Indeed I had always heard what a dab he was at a Love-letter. I saw him you know for the first time at Lady Scudamore’s - And when I saw her Ladyship afterwards she asked me how I liked her Cousin Musgrove?
‘Why upon my word’said I, ‘I think he is a very hand-some young Man.’
‘I am glad you think so,’ replied she, ‘for he is distract-edly in love with you.’
‘Law! Lady Scudamore,’ said I, ‘how can you talk so ridiculously?’
‘Nay,’ tis very true,’ answered She, ‘I assure you, for he was in love with you from the first moment he beheld you.’
‘I wish it may be true,’ said I, ‘for that is the only kind of love I would give a farthing for - There is some Sense in being in love at first sight.’
‘Well, I give you Joy of your conquest,’ replied Lady Scudamore, ‘and I beleive it to have been a very complete one; I am sure it is not a contemptible one, for my Cousin is a charming young fellow, has seen a great deal of the World, and writes the best Love-letters I ever read.’
This made me very happy, and I was excessively pleased with my conquest. However I thought it was proper to give myself a few Airs - So I said to her—
‘This is all very pretty, Lady Scudamore, but you know that we young Ladies who are Heiresses must not throw ourselves away upon Men who have no fortune at all.’
‘My dear Miss Halton,’ said She, ‘I am as much con-vinced of that as you can be, and I do assure you that I should be the last person to encourage your marrying any one who had not some pretensions to expect a fortune with you. M r Musgrove is so far from being poor that he has an estate of Several hundreds an year which is capable of great Improvement, and an excellent House, though at present it is not quite in repair.’
‘If that is the case,’ replied I, ‘I have nothing more to say against him, and if as you say he is an informed young Man and can write good Love-letters, I am sure I have no reason to find fault with him for admiring me, tho’perhaps I may not marry him for all that, Lady Scudamore.’
‘You are certainly under no obligation to marry him,’ answered her Ladyship, ‘except that which love himself will dictate to you, for if I am not greatly mistaken you are at this very moment unknown to yourself, cherishing a most tender affection for him.’
‘Law, Lady Scudamore,’ replied I blushing, ‘how can you think of such a thing?’
‘Because every look, every word betrays it,’ answered She; ‘Come, my dear Henrietta, consider me as a freind, and be sincere with me - Do not you prefer M r Musgrove to any man of your acquaintance?’
‘Pray do not ask me such questions, Lady Scudamore,’ said I turning away my head, ‘for it is not fit for me to answer them.’
‘Nay my Love,’ replied she, ‘now you confirm my sus-picions. But why, Henrietta, should you be ashamed to own a well-placed Love, or why refuse to confide in me?’
‘I am not ashamed to own it;’ said I taking Courage. ‘I do not refuse to confide in you or blush to say that I do love your cousin M r Musgrove, that I am sincerely attached to him, for it is no disgrace to love a handsome Man. If he were plain indeed I might have had reason to be ashamed of a passion which must have been mean since the Object would have been unworthy. But with such a figure and face, and such beautiful hair as your Cousin has, why should I blush to own that such Superior Merit has made an impression on me.’
‘My sweet Girl’ （said Lady Scudamore embracing me with great affection） ‘what a delicate way of thinking you have in these Matters, and what a quick discernment for one of your years! Oh! how I honour you for such Noble Sentiments!’
‘Do you, Ma’am?’said I; ‘You are vastly obliging. But pray, Lady Scudamore, did your Cousin himself tell you of his affection for me? I shall like him the better if he did, for what is a Lover without a Confidante?’
‘Oh! my Love’replied She, ‘you were born for each other. Every word you say more deeply convinces me that your Minds are actuated by the invisible power of sim-pathy, for your opinions and Sentiments so exactly coincide. Nay, the colour of your Hair is not very differ-ent. Yes, my dear Girl, the poor despairing Musgrove did reveal to me the story of his Love—. Nor was I surprised at it-I know not how it was, but I had a kind of presen - timent that he would be in love with you.’
‘Well, but how did he break it to you?’
‘It was not till after supper. We were sitting round the fire together talking on indifferent subjects, though to say the truth the Conversation was cheifly on my side, for he was thoughtful and silent, when on a sudden he inter-rupted me in the midst of something I was saying, by exclaiming in a most Theatrical tone—
“Yes I’m in love I feel it now
And Henrietta Halton has undone me—”’
‘Oh! What a sweet Way’replied I, ‘of declaring his Passion! To make such a couple of charming Lines about me! What a pity it is that they are not in rhime!’
‘I am very glad you like it,’ answered She; ‘To be sure there was a great deal of Taste in it. “And are you in love with her, Cousin?” said I. “I am very sorry for it, for unex-ceptionable as you are in every respect, with a pretty Estate capable of Great improvements, and an excellent House tho’somewhat out of repair, Yet who can hope to aspire with success to the adorable Henrietta who has had an offer from a Colonel and been toasted by a Baronet—”’ ‘ That I have—’ cried I. Lady Scudamore continued. ‘“Ah, dear Cousin,” replied he, “I am so well convinced of the little Chance I can have of winning her who is adored by thousands, that I need no assurances of yours to make me more thoroughly so. Yet surely neither you or the fair Henrietta herself will deny me the exquisite Gratification of dieing for her, of falling a victim of her Charms. And when I am dead” - continued he—’
‘Oh Lady Scudamore,’ said I wiping my eyes, ‘that such a sweet Creature should talk of dieing!’
‘It is an affecting Circumstance indeed,’ replied Lady Scudamore. ‘“When I am dead,” said he, “Let me be car-ried and lain at her feet, and perhaps she may not disdain to drop a pitying tear on my poor remains.”’
‘Dear Lady Scudamore’interrupted I, ‘say no more on this affecting Subject. I cannot bear it.’
‘Oh! how I admire the sweet Sensibility of your Soul, and as I would not for Worlds wound it too deeply, I will be silent.’
‘Pray go on’said I. She did so.
‘“And then,”added he, “Ah! Cousin, imagine what my transports will be when I feel the dear precious drops trickle o’er my face! Who would not die to taste such extacy! And when I am interred, may the divine Henrietta bless some happier Youth with her affection, May he be as tenderly attached to her as the hapless Musgrove and while he crumbles to dust, May they live an example of Felicity in the Conjugal state!”’
‘Did you ever hear any thing so pathetic? What a charming wish, to be lain at my feet when he was dead! Oh! what an exalted mind he must have to be capable of such a wish!’ Lady Scudamore went on.
‘“Ah! my dear Cousin,” replied I to him, “Such noble behaviour as this, must melt the heart of any Woman however obdurate it may naturally be; and could the divine Henrietta but hear your generous wishes for her happiness, all gentle as is her Mind, I have not a doubt but that she would pity your affection and endeavour to return it.” “Oh! Cousin,” answered he, “do not endeavour to raise my hopes by such flattering Assurances. No, I cannot hope to please this angel of a Woman, and the only thing which remains for me to do, is to die.” “True Love is ever desponding,”replied I, “but I , my dear Tom, will give you even greater hopes of conquering this fair one’s heart, than I have yet given you, by assuring you that I watched her with the strictest attention during the whole day, and could plainly discover that she cherishes in her bosom though unknown to herself, a most tender affection for you.”’
‘Dear Lady Scudamore,’ cried I, ‘This is more than I ever knew!’
‘Did not I say that it was unknown to yourself? “I did not,” continued I to him, “encourage you by saying this at first, that Surprise might render the pleasure Still Greater.” “No, Cousin,” replied he in a languid voice, “nothing will convince me that I can have touched the heart of Henrietta Halton, and if you are deceived yourself, do not attempt deceiving me.” Inshort my Love it was the work of some hours for me to persuade the poor despairing Youth that you had really a preference for him; but when at last he could no longer deny the force of my arguments, or discredit what I told him, his transports, his Raptures, his Extacies are beyond my power to describe.’
‘Oh! the dear Creature,’ cried I, ‘how passionately he loves me! But, dear Lady Scudamore, did you tell him that I was totally dependant on my Uncle and Aunt?’
‘Yes, I told him every thing.’
‘And what did he say?’
‘He exclaimed with virulence against Uncles and Aunts; Accused the Laws of England for allowing them to pos-sess their Estates when wanted by their Nephews or Neices, and wished he were in the House of Commons, that he might reform the Legislature, and rectify all its abuses.’
‘Oh! the sweet Man! What a spirit he has!’ said I.
‘He could not flatter himself, he added, that the ador-able Henrietta would condescend for his Sake to resign those Luxuries and that Splendor to which She had been used, and accept only in exchange the Comforts and Elegancies which his limited Income could afford her, even supposing that his house were in Readiness to receive her. I told him that it could not be expected that she would; it would be doing her an injustice to suppose her capable of giving up the power she now possesses and so nobly uses of doing such extensive Good to the poorer part of her fellow Creatures, merely for the grat-ification of you and herself.’
‘To be sure,’ said I, ‘I am very Charitable every now and then. And what did M r Musgrove say to this?’
‘He replied that he was under a melancholy Necessity of owning the truth of what I said, and therefore if he should be the happy Creature destined to be the Husband of the Beautiful Henrietta he must bring himself to wait, however impatiently, for the fortunate day, when she might be freed from the power of worthless Relations and able to bestow herself on him.’
What a noble Creature he is! Oh! Matilda what a for-tunate one I am , who am to be his Wife! My Aunt is calling to me to come and make the pies. So adeiu my dear freind,
and beleive me yours etc. - H. Halton
Finis
Many have been the cares and vicissitudes of my past life, my beloved Ellinor, and the only consolation I feel for their bitterness is that on a close examination of my con-duct, I am convinced that I have strictly deserved them. I murdered my father at a very early period of my Life, I have since murdered my Mother, and I am now going to murder my Sister. I have changed my religion so often that at present I have not an idea of any left. I have been a perjured witness in every public tryal for these last twelve Years, and I have forged my own Will. In short there is scarcely a crime that I have not committed - But I am now going to reform. Colonel Martin of the Horse guards has paid his Addresses to me, and we are to be married in a few days. As there is something singular in our Courtship, I will give you an account of it. Colonel Martin is the second son of the late Sir John Martin who died immensely rich, but bequeathing only one hundred thousand pound apiece to his three younger Children, left the bulk of his fortune, about eight Million to the present Sir Thomas. Upon his small pittance the Colonel lived tolerably contented for nearly four months when he took it into his head to determine on getting the whole of his eldest Brother’s Estate. A new will was forged and the Colonel produced it in Court - but nobody would swear to it’s being the right Will except himself, and he had sworn so much that Nobody beleived him. At that moment I happened to be passing by the door of the Court, and was beckoned in by the Judge who told the Colonel that I was a Lady ready to witness anything for the cause of Justice, and advised him to apply to me. In short the affair was soon adjusted. The Colonel and I swore to its’being the right will, and Sir Thomas has been obliged to resign all his illgotten Wealth. The Colonel in gratitude waited on me the next day with an offer of his hand—. I am now going to murder my Sister.
Yours Ever,
Anna Parker