1

Near the home world of the Sovereign, the Guardians of the Galaxy stood on a circular platform. Around its rim were six huge spheres that glowed with powerful energies. Closer to the center of the platform were smaller pillars that held banks of Anulax batteries, technological marvels that were also worth millions on the black market. The Guardians were there because Ayesha, the Sovereign high priestess, had learned of a threat to the batteries. She had hired the Guardians to protect them at any cost.

Peter Quill, better known as Star-Lord, looked at an old handheld video-game system in his hand. When he was a kid, he’d played endless hours of football on it. Now he had rewired it to detect the energy of the approaching threat. “Showtime, people,” Star-Lord called out. “It oughta be here any minute.”

“Which will be its last,” Gamora said. Peter glanced over and saw she was holding an energy rifle.

“I thought your thing was a sword,” he said.

She rolled her eyes. “We’ve been hired to stop an interdimensional beast from feeding on those batteries, and I’m going to stop it with a sword?”

“It’s just that swords were your thing and guns were mine,” he said. “But I guess we’re both doing guns now.”

She ignored him. “Drax. Why aren’t you wearing Rocket’s aero-rig?” The rest of the Guardians had buckled on the tight-fitting metal jetpacks. Rocket had designed them so the Guardians could all fly during combat.

But Drax, as usual, was shirtless. The dark-red tattoos covering his body seemed to ripple in the light from the glowing spheres.

“It hurts,” he said.

“Hurts,” she repeated in surprise. Drax was practically immune to pain.

He looked embarrassed. “I have sensitive nipples.”

Rocket burst out laughing. He was busy fiddling with a machine that didn’t look like any kind of weapon, but not too busy to laugh at Drax.

“What’s he doing?” Drax snapped.

“I’m finishing this so we can listen to tunes while we work!”

“How is that important?”

“Blame Quill! He’s the one who—”

Peter held out a hand and cut him off. “Actually, I’m with Drax on this one.”

“Ohh,” Rocket said. He winked at Peter. “I see.”

“No, seriously,” Peter said. “I side with Drax.”

Rocket kept winking. “I understand that. You’re being very serious right now.”

“I can clearly see you winking,” Drax said.

“I was using my left eye?” Rocket said. He stopped winking.

Nearby, a sapling version of their formerly hulking partner, Groot, was chasing around a small group of lizard-like alien creatures called Orloni. They seemed to be everywhere throughout the galaxy. He knocked one over and shoved another away from him. Then he turned to Rocket and announced, “I am Groot.”

“They were not looking at you funny,” Rocket said.

Everyone looked up as an interdimensional wormhole opened in the sky: a huge whirlpool of multicolored energy with lightning flickering around its edges. A monstrous creature hurtled through it, as big as Quill’s spaceship, the Milano. Its body sprouted tentacles in every direction, and its round mouth was lined with razor-sharp teeth as long as Quill’s arm. It roared, shaking the platform, and dove toward the Guardians.

“That’s intense,” Rocket commented.

The monster crashed down on the platform, and Drax, knives out, roared right back at it. The Guardians formed up and charged at the creature. All of them but Drax and Groot took to the air using Rocket’s aero-rigs. They blasted away at it with their weapons, and Drax struck at it with his knives. The monster’s tentacles flailed around, knocking them out of the air. It also screamed out blasts of concussive energy from its huge maw.

Very intense.

Meanwhile, Groot was looking at the stereo Rocket hadn’t quite finished. He picked up two cables and tried to stick them together. After a couple of tries, he got them connected, and Peter’s new favorite cassette, Awesome Mix Vol. 2, blared out over the platform. The music got Groot dancing, while the battle raged around him. A tentacle smashed down just behind him, and a moment later Star-Lord landed next to it. “Groot!” he shouted, but before he could say anything else, the tentacle slapped him away.

Groot kept on dancing, oblivious to the chaos. “Groot, get out of the way!” Gamora shouted. “You’ll get hurt!”

He just heard his name and waved happily at her. She smiled back and called out, “Hi!” while still blasting away at the monster. Then she took off, and Groot danced along the edge of the platform until he was distracted by a large bug flying near his head. He chased after it, and when he caught it, he stuffed it in his mouth.

“No, no, no!” Rocket yelled, landing and slapping at the back of Groot’s head. “Spit it out. Come on.” Groot did, and the bug flew away. “Disgusting,” Rocket growled. Then he rejoined the battle.

Without anyone watching him, Groot saw one of the Orloni scampering by. He shot out a vine and grabbed the fin on its back, catching a ride. The Orloni ran crazily through the battle, underneath the monster and out the other side, with flames and explosions everywhere Groot looked. He lost his grip and rolled across the platform, ending up next to the stereo. The music was still pumping, so Groot started dancing again—until a few seconds later, when Drax came flying through the air and landed on the stereo, smashing it to pieces.

Furious, Groot started pounding on his back. Drax barely noticed. He got up, pieces of the stereo still stuck to his skin, and said, “The beast’s hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside! I must cut through it from the inside.”

Gamora, still doing her best to slow the beast, stopped. “What?!”

Laughing like he was having the time of his life, Drax charged across the platform, knives raised.

“No, no, wait, Drax!” Gamora screamed at him, but he didn’t pay any attention. At a full sprint, he leaped straight into the monster’s mouth. It bit down and he disappeared.

Star-Lord couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He landed next to Gamora. “What is he doing?”

“He said its skin is too thick to be pierced from the outside, so he had to—”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

“I tried to tell him!”

“It’s the same thickness from the inside as from the outside!”

“I realize that!”

Star-Lord thought fast as he scanned the monster. “There’s a cut on its neck,” he said. That was the only place they’d been able to wound it. “Rocket! Try to make it look up!”

He took off again, flying high enough to shoot down at the monster. Rocket joined him. It was working! The monster looked up, belching colorful attacks and swiping at them with its tentacles. Gamora sighted the wound and squeezed the rifle’s trigger.

Nothing happened. It was empty.

“Gah,” she said, and flung it away. She drew her sword and, just as Drax had, she dashed across the platform. The monster had Rocket and Star-Lord in its tentacles, but she still had a clear shot at the wound. Using one of its tentacles as a springboard, she jumped high and sank her sword into the wound. Her body weight did the rest, pulling her back down to the ground as her sword ripped the monster open in a shower of thick green goo.

She hit the ground and stepped back as the monster flailed in its death throes and collapsed with a huge boom. A moment later, Drax, covered in the green goo, slid out from the wound and raised both arms in triumph. “Yes!” he shouted. “I have single-handedly vanquished the beast!”

The rest of the Guardians just looked at him...except Groot, who threw a rock at him because he was still mad about the stereo. Drax looked down at him, puzzled. “What?”

With the monster vanquished, the Guardians could get cleaned up and collect their payment from the Sovereign. Rocket was fiddling with one of the machines on the platform that hadn’t been wrecked in the fight. “What are they called again?” Drax asked as he wiped the green goo from his face.

“Anulax batteries,” Rocket said.

“Arbulary batteries,” Drax said.

Star-Lord looked over. “That’s nothing like what he just said. Those things are worth thousands of units apiece, which is why the Sovereign hired us to protect them. Careful what you say around these folks. They’re easily offended, and the cost of transgression is death.”

The team walked to the edge of the platform to meet the high priestess Ayesha, ruler of the Sovereign. YG9chkkPfZf7lJk+CdBU/ME4n3SkVNQ+Tx/OBBF3A2vubtOaTPTzFCQL5sFq0yXs