事如春梦了无痕。

Life is like a spring
dream which vanishes
without a trace.

I was born in 1763, under the reign of Ch’ienlung, on the twentysecond day of the eleventh moon. The country was then in the heyday of peace and, moreover, I was born in a scholars’family, living by the side of the Ts’anglang Pavilion in Soochow. So altogether I may say the gods have been unusually kind to me. Su Tungp’o said, “Life is like a spring dream which vanishes without a trace. ” I should be ungrateful to the gods if I did not try to put my life down on record.

Since the Book of Poems begins with a poem on wedded love, I thought I would begin this book by speaking of my marital relations and then let other matters follow. My only regret is that I was not properly educated in childhood; all I know is a simple language and I shall try only to record the real facts and real sentiments. I hope the reader will be kind enough not to scrutinize my grammar, which would be like looking for brilliance in a tarnished mirror.

I was engaged in my childhood to one Miss Yü, of Chinsha, who died in her eighth year, and eventually I married a girl of the Ch’en clan.Her name was Yün and her literary name Suchen. She was my cousin,being the daughter of my maternal uncle, Hsinyü. Even in her childhood,she was a very clever girl, for while she was learning to speak, she was taught Po Chüyi’s poem, The P’iP’a Player , and could at once repeat it. Her father died when she was four years old, and in the family there were only her mother (of the Chin clan) and her younger brother K’ehch’ang and herself,，being then practically destitute. When Yün grew up and had learnt needlework, she was providing for the family of three, and contrived always to pay K’ehch’ang’s tuition fees punctually. One day,she picked up a copy of the poem The P’iP’a Player from a wastebasket, and from that, with the help of her memory of the lines, she learnt to read word by word. Between her needlework, she gradually learnt to write poetry. One of her poems contained the two lines:

“Touched by autumn, one’s figure grows slender ,

Soaked in frost, the chrysanthemum blooms full. ”

When I was thirteen years old, I went with my mother to her maiden home and there we met. As we were two young innocent children, she allowed me to read her poems. I was quite struck by her talent, but feared that she was too clever to be happy. Still I could not help thinking of her all the time, and once I told my mother, “If you were to choose a girl for me, I won’t marry any one except Cousin Su.”My mother also liked her being so gentle, and gave her her gold ring as a token for the betrothal.

This was on the sixteenth of the seventh moon in the year 1775.In the winter of that year, one of my girl cousins, (the daughter of another maternal uncle of mine,) was going to get married and I again accompanied my mother to her maiden home.

Yün was the same age as myself, but ten months older, and as we had been accustomed to calling each other“elder sister”and“younger brother”from childhood, I continued to call her“Sister Su.”

At this time the guests in the house all wore bright dresses, but Yün alone was clad in a dress of quiet colour, and had on a new pair of shoes. I noticed that the embroidery on her shoes was very fine, and learnt that it was her own work, so that I began to realize that she was gifted at other things, too, besides reading and writing.

Of a slender figure, she had drooping shoulders and a rather long neck,slim but not to the point of being skinny. Her eyebrows were arched and in her eyes there was a look of quick intelligence and soft refinement. The only defect was that her two front teeth were slightly inclined forward, which was not a mark of good omen. There was an air of tenderness about her which completely fascinated me.

I asked for the manuscripts of her poems and found that they consisted mainly of couplets and three or four lines, being unfinished poems, and I asked her the reason why. She smiled and said,“I have had no one to teach me poetry, and wish to have a good teacher-friend who could help me to finish these poems.”I wrote playfully on the label of this book of poems the words: “Beautiful Lines in an Embroidered Case,”and did not realize that in this case lay the cause of her short life.

That night, when I came back from outside the city, whither I had accompanied my girl cousin the bride, it was already midnight, and I felt very hungry and asked for something to eat. A maid-servant gave me some dried dates, which were too sweet for me. Yün secretly pulled me by the sleeve into her room, and I saw that she had hidden away a bowl of warm congee and some dishes to go with it. I was beginning to take up the chopsticks and eat it with great gusto when Yün’s boy cousin Yüheng called out,“Sister Su, come quick!，”Yün quickly shut the door and said,“I am very tired and going to bed.” Yüheng forced the door open and, seeing the situation, he said with a malicious smile at Yün,，“So, that’s it! A while ago I asked for congee and you said there was no more, but you really meant to keep it for your future husband.”Yün was greatly embarrassed and everybody laughed at her, including the servants.On my part, I rushed away home with an old servant in a state of excitement.

Since the affair of the congree happened, she always avoided me when I went to her home, and I knew that she was only trying to avoid being made a subject of ridicule.

秋侵人影瘦，霜染菊花肥。

Touched by autumnone’s figurgrows slender,
Soaked in frost,the chrysanthemumblooms full.

Our wedding took place on the twenty-second of the first moon in 1780. When she came to my home on that night, I found that she had the same slender figure as before. When her bridal veil was lifted, we looked at each other and smiled. After the drinking of the customary twin cups between bride and groom, we sat down together at dinner and I secretly held her hand under the table, which was warm and small, and my heart was palpitating. I asked her to eat and learnt that she was in her vegetarian fast, which she had been keeping for several years already. I found that the time when she began her fast coincided with my small-pox illness, and said to her laughingly,“Now that my face is clean and smooth without pock-marks, my dear sister, will you break your fast?” Yün looked at me with a smile and nodded her head.

As my own sister is going to get married on the twenty-fourth, only two days later, and as there was to be a national mourning and no music was to be allowed on the twenty-third, my sister was given a send-off dinner on the night of the twenty-second, my wedding day, and Yün was present at table. I was playing the finger-guessing game with the bride’s companion in the bridal chamber and, being a loser all the time,I fell asleep drunk like a fish. When I woke up the next morning, Yün had not quite finished her morning toilet.

That day, we were kept busy entertaining guests and towards evening, music was played. After midnight, on the morning of the twenty-fourth, I, as the bride’s brother, sent my sister away and came back towards three o’clock. The room was then pervaded with quietness,bathed in the silent glow of the candle-lights. I went in and saw Yün’s bride’s companion was taking a nap down in front of our bed on the floor, while Yün had taken off her bridal costume, but had not yet gone to bed. She was bending her beautiful white neck before the bright candles, quite absorbed reading a book. I patted her on the shoulder and said,“Sister, why are you still working so hard? You must be quite tired with the full days we’ve had.”

Quickly Yün turned her head and stood up saying,“I was going to bed when I opened the book-case and saw this book and have not been able to leave it since. Now my sleepiness is all gone. I have heard of the name of Western Chamber for a long time, but today I see it for the first time. It is really the work of a genius, only I feel that its style is a little bit too biting.”

“Only geniuses can write a biting style,”I smiled and said.

The bride’s companion asked us to go to bed, but we told her to shut the door and retire first. I began to sit down by Yün’s side and we joked together like old friends after a long period of separation. I touched her breast in fun and felt that her heart was palpitating too.“Why is Sister’s heart palpitating like that?”I bent down and whispered in her ear. Yün looked back at me with a smile and our souls were carried away in a mist of passion. Then we went to bed, when all too soon the dawn came.

As a bride, Yün was very quiet at first. She was never sullen or displeased,and when people spoke to her,she merely smiled. She was respectful towards her superiors and kindly towards those under her.Whatever she did was done well, and it was difficult to find fault with her. When she saw the grey dawn shining in through the window,she would get up and dress herself as if she had been commanded to do so.“Why?” I asked,“You don’t have to be afraid of gossip，like the days when you gave me that warm congee.”“ I was made a laughing-stock on account of that bowl of congee,”she replied,“but now I am not afraid of people’s talk; I only fear that our parents might think their daughter-inlaw lazy.”

Although I wanted her to lie in bed longer, I could not help admiring her virtue, and so got up myself, too, at the same time with her.And so every day we rubbed shoulders together and clung to each other like an object and its shadow, and the love between us was something that surpassed the language of words.

So the time passed happily and the honeymoon was too soon over.At this time, my father Chiafu was in the service of the Kueich’i district government, and he sent a special messenger to bring me there, for, it should be noted that, during this time, I was under the tutorship of Chao Shengtsai of Wulin [Hangchow]. Chao was a very kindly teacher and today the fact that I can write at all is due entirely to his credit.

Now, when I came home for the wedding, it had been agreed that as soon as the ceremonies were over, I should go back at once to my father’s place in order to resume my studies. So when I got this news, I did not know what to do. I was afraid Yün might break into tears, but on the other hand she tried to look cheerful and comforted me and urged me to go, and packed up things for me. Only that night I noticed that she did not look quite her usual self. At the time of parting, she whispered to me,“Take good care of yourself, for there will be no one to look after you.”

When I went up on board the boat, I saw the peach and pear trees on the banks were in full bloom, but I felt like a lonely bird that had lost its companions and as if the world was going to collapse around me. As soon as I arrived, my father left the place and crossed the river for an eastward destination.

Thus three months passed, which seemed to me like ten insufferable long years. Although Yün wrote to me regularly, still for two letters that I sent her, I received only one in reply, and these letters contained only words of exhortation and the rest was filled with airy,conventional nothings, and I felt very unhappy. Whenever the breeze blew past my bamboo courtyard, or the moon shone upon my window behind the green banana leaves, I thought of her and was carried away into a region of dreams.

My teacher noticed this, and sent word to my father, saying that he would give me ten subjects for composition and let me go home. I felt like a garrison prisoner receiving his pardon.

好似一幅最好的月下美景。有渔舟散卧于平静的水上，

Fishing boats lay about
on the stretch of calm
water—a scene which
seemed to be best looked
at under the moonlight.

Strange to say, when I got on to the boat and was on my way home, I felt that a quarter of an hour was like a long year. When I arrived home, I went to pay my respects to my mother and then entered my room. Yün stood up to welcome me, and we held each other’s hands in silence, and it seemed then that our souls had melted away or evaporated like a mist. My ears tingled and I did not know where I was.

It was in the sixth moon, then, and the rooms were very hot.Luckily, we were next door to the Lotus Lover’s Lodge of the Ts’anglang Pavilion on the east. Over the bridge, there was an open hall overlooking the water, called “After My Heart”—the reference was to an old poem：“When the water is clear,I will wash the tassels of my hat, and when the water is muddy, I will wash my feet.”By the side of the eaves, there was an old tree which spread its green shade over the window，and made the people’s faces look green with it; and across the creek, you could see people passing to and fro. This was where my father used to entertain his guests inside the bamboo-framed curtains. I asked for permission from my mother to bring Yün and stay there for the summer.She stopped embroidery during the summer months because of the heat,and the whole day long, we were either reading together or discussing the ancient things, or else enjoying the moon and passing judgments on the flowers. Yün could not drink, but could take at most three cups when compelled to. I taught her literary games in which the loser had to drink. We thought there could not be a more happy life on earth than this.

One day Yün asked me,“Of all the ancient authors, which one should we regard as the master?” And I replied:“ Chankuots’eh and Chuangtzǔ are noted for their agility of thought and expressiveness of style, K’uang Heng and Liu Hsiang are known for their classic severity,Ssuma Ch’ien and Pan Ku are known for their breadth of knowledge,Han Yü is known for his mellow qualities, Liu Tsungyüan for his rugged beauty, Ouyang Hsiu for his romantic abandon, and the Su’s, father and sons, are known for their sustained eloquence. There are, besides,writings like the political essays of Chia Yi and Tung Chungshu, the euphuistic prose of Yü Hsin and Hsü Ling, the memorandums of Loh Chih, and others more than one can enumerate. True appreciation,however, must come from the reader himself.”

“The ancient literature,” Yün said,“depends for its appeal on depth of thought and greatness of spirit, which I am afraid it is difficult for a woman to attain. I believe, however, that I do understand something of poetry. ”

“Poetry was used,”I said,“as a literary test in the imperial examinations of the T’ang Dynasty, and people acknowledge Li Po and Tu Fu as the master poets. Which of the two do you like better?”

“Tu’s poems,”she said，“are known for their workmanship and artistic refinement, while Li’s poems are known for their freedom and naturalness of expression. I prefer the vivacity of Li Po to the severity of Tu Fu. ”

“Tu Fu is the acknowledged king of poets，”said I，“and he is taken by most people as their model. Why do you prefer Li Po?”

“Of course,” said she, was for perfection of form and maturity of thought, Tu is the undisputed master, but Li Po’s poems have the wayward charm of a nymph. His lines come naturally like dropping petals and flowing waters, and are so much lovelier for their spontaneity.I am not saying that Tu is second to Li; only personally I feel, not that I love Tu less, but that I love Li more.”

沧浪之水清兮，可以濯我缨，

沧浪之水浊兮，可以濯我足！

When the water is clear,
I will wash the tassels of my hat,

and when the water is muddy,
I will wash my feet.

“I say，I didn’t know that you are a bosom friend of Li Po!”

“I have still in my heart another poet，Po Chüyi，who is my first tutor，as it were，and I have not been able to forget him.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Isn’t he the one who wrote the poem on The P’i P’a Player? ”

“This is very strange,” I laughed and said. “So Li Po is your bosom friend, Po Chüyi is your first tutor and your husband’s literary name is San po. It seems that your life is always bound up with the Po’s.”

“It is all right, ” Yün smiled and replied. “to have one’s life bound up with the Po’s, only I am afraid I shall be writing Po characters all my life.” (For in Soochow we call misspelt words "po characters".) And we both laughed.

“Now that you know poetry.” I said，“I should like also to know your taste for fu poems.”

“The Ch’u Tz’u is, of course, the fountain head of fu poetry, but I find it difficult to understand. It seems to me that among the Han and Chin fu poets, Ssuma Hsiangju is the most sublime in point of style and diction.”

“Perhaps,”I said，“Wenchün was tempted to elope with Hsiangju not because of his ch’in music, but rather because of his fu poetry,”and we laughed again.

I am by nature unconventional and straightforward, but Yün was a stickler for forms, like the Confucian schoolmasters. Whenever I put on a dress for her or tidied up her sleeves, she would say “So much obliged” again and again, and when I passed her a towel or a fan, she would always stand up to receive it. At first I disliked this and said to her, “Do you mean to tie me down with all this ceremony? There is a proverb which says,‘One who is overcourteous is crafty.’” Yün blushed all over and said, “I am merely trying to be polite and respectful, why do you charge me with craftiness?” “True respect is in the heart, and does not require such empty forms,” said I, but Yün said, “There is no more intimate relationship than that between children and their parents. Do you mean to say that children should behave freely towards their parents and keep their respect only in their heart?” “Oh! I was only joking,” I said. “The trouble is,” said Yün, “most marital troubles begin with joking.Don’t you accuse me of disrespect later, for then I shall die of grief without being able to defend myself.”Then I held her close to my breast and caressed her until she smiled. From then on our conversations were full of “I’m sorry’s” and “I beg your pardon’s.” And so we remained courteous to each other for twenty-three years of our married life like Liang Hung and Meng Kuang [of the Eastern Han Dynasty], and the longer we stayed together, the more passionately attached we became to each other.

Whenever we met each other in the house,，whether it be in a dark room or in a narrow corridor, we used to hold each other’s hands and ask,，“Where are you going?” and we did this on the sly as if afraid that people might see us. As a matter of fact, we tried at first to avoid being seen sitting or walking together, but after a while, we did not mind it any more. When Yün was sitting and talking with somebody and saw me come, she would rise and move sideways for me to sit down together with her. All this was done naturally almost without any consciousness,and although at first we felt uneasy about it, later on it became a matter of habit. I cannot understand why all old couples must hate each other like enemies. Some people say, “If they weren’t enemies, they would not be able to live together until old age.”Well,，I wonder!

On the seventh night of the seventh moon of that year, Yün prepared incense, candles and some melons and other fruits, so that we might together worship the Grandson of Heaven in the Hall called “After My Heart.” I had carved two seals with the inscription“That we might remain husband and wife from incarnation to incarnation.”I kept the seal with positive characters, while she kept the one with negative characters,to be used in our correspondence.

That night, the moon was shining beautifully and when I looked down at the creek, the ripples shone like silvery chains. We were wearing light silk dresses and sitting together with a small fan in our hands, before the window overlooking the creek. Looking up at the sky, we saw the clouds sailing through the heavens, changing at every moment into a myriad forms, and Yün said,“This moon is common to the whole universe. I wonder if there is another pair of lovers quite as passionate as ourselves looking at the same moon tonight?” And I said,“Oh! there are plenty of people who will be sitting in the cool evening and looking at the moon, and perhaps also many women enjoying and appreciating the clouds in their chambers; but when a husband and wife are looking at the moon together, I hardly think that the clouds will form the subject of their conversation.”By and by, the candle-lights went out, the moon sank in the sky, and we removed the fruits and went to bed.

The fifteenth of the seventh moon was All Souls’Day. Yün prepared a little dinner, so that we could drink together with the moon as our company, but when night came, the sky was suddenly overcast with dark clouds. Yün knitted her brow and said, “If it be the wish of God that we two should live together until there are silver threads in our hair, then the moon must come out again tonight.” On my part I felt disheartened also. As we looked across the creek, we saw will-o’-thewisps flitting in crowds hither and thither like ten thousand candle-lights,threading their way through the willows and smartweeds.

And then we began to compose a poem together, each saying two lines at a time, the first completing the couplet which the other had begun, and the second beginning another couplet for the other to finish,and after a few rhymes, the longer we kept on, the more nonsensical it became, until it was a jumble of slapdash doggerel. By this time, Yün was buried amidst tears and laughter and choking on my breast, while I felt the fragrance of the jasmine in her hair assail my nostrils. I patted her on the shoulder and said jokingly,“I thought that the jasmine was used for decoration in women’s hair because it was clear and round like a pearl; I did not know that it is because its fragrance is so much finer when it is mixed with the smell of women’s hair and powder.When it smells like that, even the citron cannot remotely compare with it.”Then Yün stopped laughing and said,“The citron is the gentleman among the different fragrant plants because its fragrance is so slight that you can hardly detect it; on the other hand, the jasmine is a common fellow because it borrows its fragrance partly from others. Therefore,the fragrance of the jasmine is like that of a smiling sycophant.”“Why，then，”I said,“do you keep away from the gentleman and associate with the common fellow?”And Yün replied，“But I only laugh at that gentleman who loves a common fellow.”

While we were thus bandying words about, it was already midnight, and we saw the wind had blown away the clouds in the sky and there appeared the full moon，round like a chariot wheel，and we were greatly delighted. And so we began to drink by the side of the window, but before we had tasted three cups, we heard suddenly the noise of a splash under the bridge, as if someone had fallen into the water. We looked out through the window and saw there was not a thing, for the water was as smooth as a mirror, except that we heard the noise of a duck scampering in the marshes. I knew that there was a ghost of someone who had been drowned by the side of the Ts’anglang Pavilion, but knowing that Yün was very timid, I dared not mention it to her. And Yün sighed and said, “Alas! Whence cometh this noise?” and we shuddered all over. Quickly we shut the window and carried the wine pot back into the room. The light of a rapeseed oil lamp was then burning as small as a pea, and the edges of the bed curtain hung low in the twilight, and we were shaking all over. We then made the lamplight a little brighter and went inside the bed curtain, and Yün already ran up a high fever. Soon I had a high temperature myself, and our illness dragged on for about twenty days. True it is that when the cup of happiness overflows, disaster follows, as the saying goes, and this was also an omen that we should not be able to live together until old age.

On the fifteenth of the eighth moon, or the Mid-Autumn Festival.I had just recovered from my illness. Yün had now been a bride in my home for over half a year, but still had never been to the Ts’anglang Pavilion itself next door. So I first ordered an old servant to tell the watchman not to let any visitors enter the place. Toward evening, I went with Yün and my younger sister, supported by an amah and a maidservant and led by an old attendant. We passed a bridge, entered a gate, turned eastwards and followed a zigzag path into the place, where we saw huge grottoes and abundant green trees. The Pavilion stood on the top of a hill. Going up by the steps to the top, one could look around for miles, where in the distance chimney smoke arose from the cottages against the background of clouds of rainbow hues. Over the bank, there was a grove called the “Forest by the Hill” where the high officials used to entertain their guests. Later on, the Chengyi College was erected on this spot, but it wasn’t there yet. We brought a blanket which we spread on the Pavilion floor, and then sat round together,while the watchman served us tea. After a while, the moon had already arisen from behind the forest, and the breeze was playing about our sleeves, while the moon’s image sparkled in the rippling water, and all worldly cares were banished from our breasts.“This is the end of a perfect day,”said Yün.“Wouldn’t it be fine if we could get a boat and row around the Pavilion!” At this time，the lights were already shining from people’s homes，and thinking of the incident on the fifteenth night of the seventh moon, we left the Pavilion and hurried home.According to the custom at Soochow, the women of all families, rich or poor, came out in groups on the Mid-Autumn night, a custom which was called“pacing the moonlight.”Strange to say, no one came to such a beautiful neighbourhood as the Ts’anglang Pavilion.

My father Chiafu was very fond of adopting children; hence I had twenty-six adopted brothers. My mother, too, had nine adopted daughters, among whom Miss Wang, the second, and Miss Yü, the sixth,were Yün’s best friends. Wang was a kind of a tomboy and a great drinker, while Yü was straightforward and very fond of talking. When they came together，they used to chase me out, so that the three of them could sleep in the same bed. I knew Miss Yü was responsible for this, and once I said to her in fun,“When you get married, I am going to invite your husband to come and keep him for ten days at a stretch.”I’ll come here，too, then，” said Miss Yü， “and sleep in the same bed with Yün. Won’t that be fun?” At this Yün and Wang merely smiled.

At this time, my younger brother Ch’it’ang was going to get married, and we moved to Ts’angmi Alley by the Bridge of Drinking Horses. The house was quite big, but not so nice and secluded as the one by the Ts’anglang Pavilion. On the birthday of my mother, we had theatrical performances at home, and Yün at first thought them quite wonderful. Scorning all taboos, my father asked for the performance of a scene called “Sad Parting,”and the actors played so realistically that the audience were quite touched. I noticed across the screen that Yün suddenly got up and disappeared inside for a long time. I went in to see her and the Misses Yü and Wang also followed suit. There I saw Yün sitting alone before her dressing table, resting her head on an arm.“Why are you so sad?”I asked. “One sees a play for diversion,” Yün said, “but today’s play only breaks my heart.” Both Wang and Yü were laughing at her, but I defended her. “She is touched because hers is a profoundly emotional soul.”“Are you going to sit here all day long?” asked Miss Yü. "I’ll stay here until some better selection is being played，" Yün replied.Hearing this, Miss Wang left first and asked my mother to select more cheerful plays like Ch’ihliang and Househ . Then Yün was persuaded to come out and watch the play, which made her happy again.

My uncle Such’ün died early without an heir, and my father made me succeed his line. His tomb was situated on the Hill of Good Fortune and Longevity in Hsikuat’ang by the side of our ancestral tombs, and I was accustomed to go there with Yün and visit the grave every spring.As there was a beautiful garden called Koyüan in its neighbourhood,Miss Wang begged to come with us. Yün saw that the pebbles on this hill had beautiful grains of different colours, and said to me,“If we were to collect these pebbles and make them into a grotto, it would be even more artistic than one made of Hsüanchow stones.”I expressed the fear that there might not be enough of this kind.“If Yün really likes them，I’ll pick them for her，” said Miss Wang. So she borrowed a bag from the watchman, and went along with a stork’s strides collecting them.Whenever she picked up one, she would ask for my opinion. If I said“good,” she would put it into the bag; and if I said “no,” she would throw it away. She stood up before long and came back to us with the bag, perspiring all over.“My strength will fail me if I am going to pick any more，” she said. “I have been told,” said Yün, as she was selecting the good ones in the bag, “that mountain fruits must be gathered with the help of monkeys, which seems quite true.” Miss Wang was furious and stretched both her hands as if to tease her. I stopped her and said to Yün by way of reproof,“You cannot blame her for being angry,because she is doing all the work and you stand by and say such unkind things.”

Then on our way back, we visited the Koyüan Garden, in which we saw a profusion of flowers of all colours. Wang was very childish;she would now and then pick a flower for no reason, and Yün scolded her, saying,“What do you pick so many flowers for, since you are not going to put them in a vase or in your hair?” “Oh! what’s the harm?These flowers don’t feel anything.”“All right，” I said，“you will be punished for this one day by marrying a pock-marked bearded fellow for your husband to avenge the flowers.”Wang looked at me in anger,threw the flowers to the ground and kicked them into the pond.“Why do you all bully me?”she said. However，Yün made it up with her, and she was finally pacified.

Yün was at first very quiet and loved to hear me talk, but I gradually taught her the art of conversation as one leads a cricket with a blade of grass. She then gradually learnt the art of conversation. For instance, at meals, she always mixed her rice with tea, and loved to eat stale pickled bean-curd, called “stinking bean-curd”in Soochow. Another thing she liked to eat was a kind of small pickled cucumber. I hated both of these things, and said to her in fun one day,“The dog, which has no stomach, eats human refuse because it doesn’t know that refuse stinks，while the beetle rolls in dunghills and is changed into a cicada because it wants to fly up to heaven. Now are you a dog or a beetle?” To this Yün replied,“One eats beancurd because it is so cheap and it goes with dry rice as well as with congee. I am used to this from childhood. Now I am married into your home, like a beetle that has been transformed into a cicada, but I am still eating it because one should not forget old friends.As for pickled cucumber, I tasted it for the first time in your home.”

“Oh, then, my home is a dog’s kennel, isn’t it?”Yün was embarrassed and tried to explain it away by saying,“Of course there is refuse in every home; the only difference is whether one eats it or not.You yourself eat garlic, for instance, and I have tried to eat it with you.I won’t compel you to eat stinking bean-curd, but cucumber is really very nice, if you hold your breath while eating. You will see when you have tasted it yourself. It is like Wuyien, an ugly but virtuous woman of old.”“Are you going to make me a dog?” I asked. “Well, I have been a dog for a long time, why don’t you try to be one?”So she picked a piece of cucumber with her chopsticks and stuck it into my mouth. I held my breath and ate it and found it indeed delicious. Then I ate it in the usual way and found it to have a marvellous flavour. And from that time on,I loved the cucumber also. Yün also prepared pickled bean-curd mixed with sesame seed oil and sugar, which I found also to be a delicacy. We then mixed pickled cucumber with pickled bean-curd and called the mixture “the double-flavoured gravy.”I said I could not understand why I disliked it at first and began to love it so now. “If you are in love with a thing, you will forget its ugliness,” said Yün.

My younger brother Ch’it’ang married the grand-daughter of Wang Hsüchou. It happened that on the wedding day, she wanted some pearls.Yün took her own pearls，which she had received as her bridal gift, and gave them to my mother. The maid-servant thought it a pity, but Yün said，“A woman is an incarnation of the female principle, and so are pearls. For a woman to wear pearls would be to leave no room for the male principle. For that reason I don’t prize them.”She had, however, a peculiar fondness for old books and broken slips of painting. Whenever she saw odd volumes of books，she would try to sort them out, arrange them in order, and have them rebound properly. These were collected and labelled “Ancient Relics.”When she saw scrolls of calligraphy or painting that were partly spoilt, she would find some old paper and paste them up nicely，and ask me to fill up the broken spaces. These were kept rolled up properly and called “Beautiful Gleanings.” This was what she was busy about the whole day when she was not attending to the kitchen or needlework. When she found in old trunks or piles of musty volumes any writing or painting that pleased her, she felt as if she had discovered some precious relic, and an old woman neighbour of ours，by the name of Feng, used to buy up old scraps and sell them to her. She had the same tastes and habits as myself, and besides had the talent of reading my wishes by a mere glance or movement of the eyebrow, doing things without being told and doing them to my perfect satisfaction.

Once I said to her,“It is a pity that you were born a woman. If you were a man, we could travel together and visit all the great mountains and the famous places throughout the country.”

“Oh! this is not so very difficult，” said Yün. “Wait till I have got my grey hairs. Even if I cannot accompany you to the Five Sacred Mountains then, we can travel to the nearer places, like Huch’iu and Lingyen, as far south as the West Lake and as far north as P’ingshan [in Yangchow]."

“Of course this is all right, except that I am afraid when you are grey-haired, you will be too old to travel.”

“If I can’t do it in this life，then I shall do it in the next.”

“In the next life，you must be born a man and I will be your wife.”

“It will be quite beautiful if we can then still remember what has happened in this life.”

“That’s all very well，but even a bowl of congee has provided material for so much conversation. We shan’t be able to sleep a wink the whole wedding night, but shall be discussing what we have done in the previous existence，if we can still remember what’s happened in this life then.”

“It is said that the Old Man under the Moon is in charge of matrimony，” said Yün.“He was good enough to make us husband and wife in this life, and we shall still depend on his favour in the affair of marriage in the next incarnation. Why don’t we make a painting of him and worship him in our home?”

So we asked a Mr. Ch’i Liut’i of T’iaoch’i who specialized in portraiture，to make a painting of the Old Man under the Moon, which he did. It was a picture of the Old Man holding, in one hand, a red silk thread [for the purpose of binding together the hearts of all couples] and,in the other, a walking-stick with the Book of Matrimony suspended from it. He had white hair and a ruddy complexion, apparently bustling about in a cloudy region. Altogether it was a very excellent painting of Ch’i’s. My friend Shih Chot’ang Wrote some words of praise on it and we hung the picture in our chamber. On the first and fifteenth of every month, we burnt incense and prayed together before him. I do not know where this picture is now, as we have lost it after all the changes and upsets in our family life. “Ended is the present life and uncertain the next,”as the poet says. I wonder if God will listen to the prayer of us two silly lovers.

After we had moved to Ts’angmi Alley, I called our bedroom the“Tower of My Guest’s Fragrance,” with a reference to Yün’s name, and to the story of Liang Hung and Meng Kuang who, as husband and wife,were always courteous to each other “like guests.” We rather disliked the house because the walls were too high and the courtyard was too small.At the back, there was another house, leading to the library. Looking out of the window at the back, one could see the old garden of Mr. Loh then in a dilapidated condition, Yün’s thoughts still hovered about the beautiful scenery of the T’sanglang Pavilion.

At this time, there was an old peasant woman living on the east of Mother Gold’s Bridge and the north of Kenghsiang. Her little cottage was surrounded on all sides by vegetable fields and had a wicker gate.Outside the gate, there was a pond about thirty yards across, and a wilderness of flowers and trees covered the sides of the hedgerow. This was the old site of the home of Chang Ssǔch’eng at the end of the Yüan Dynasty. A few paces to the west of the cottage, there was a mound filled with broken bricks, from the top of which one could command a view of the surrounding territory, which was an open country with a stretch of wild vegetation.

Once the old woman happened to mention the place, and Yün kept on thinking about it. So she said to me one day,“Since leaving the Ts’anglang Pavilion, I have been dreaming about it all the time. As we cannot live there, we must put up with the second best. I have a great idea to go and live in the old woman’s cottage.”“I have been thinking，too,” I said, “of a place to go to and spend the long summer days. If you think you’ll like the place, I’ll go ahead and take a look. If it is satisfactory, we can carry our beddings along and go and stay there for a month. How about it?”“I’m afraid mother won’t allow us.”“Oh! I’ll see to that，”I told her. So the next day, I went there and found that the cottage consisted only of two rooms, which were partitioned into four.With paper windows and bamboo beds, the house would be quite a delightfully cool place to stay in. The old woman knew what I wanted and gladly rented me her bedroom, which then looked quite new, when I had repapered the walls. I then informed my mother of it and went to stay there with Yün.

Our only neighbours were an old couple who raised vegetables for the market. They knew that we were going to stay there for the summer,and came and called on us, bringing us some fish from the pond and vegetables from their own fields. We offered to pay for them, but they wouldn’t take any money, and afterwards Yün made a pair of shoes for each of them, which they were finally persuaded to accept.

This was in the seventh moon when the trees cast a green shade over the place. The summer breeze blew over the water of the pond,and cicadas filled the air with their singing the whole day. Our old neighbour also made a fishing rod for us, and we used to angle together under the shade of the willow trees. Late in the afternoons, we would go up on the mound to have a look at the evening glow and compose lines of poetry, when we felt so inclined. Two of the best lines were：

“Beast-clouds swallow the sinking sun ,

And the bow-moon shoots the falling stars.”

After a while, the moon cut her image in the water, insects began to chirp all round, and we placed a bamboo bed near the hedgerow to sit or lie upon. The old woman then would inform us that wine had been warmed up and dinner prepared, and we would sit down to have a little drink under the moon before our meal. Then after bath, we would put on our slippers and carry a fan, and lie or sit there, listening to old tales of retribution told by our neighbour. When we came in to sleep about midnight, we felt nice and cool all over the body, almost forgetting that we were living in a city.

There along the hedgerow, we asked the gardener to plant chrysanthemums. The flowers bloomed in the ninth moon, and we continued to stay there for another ten days. My mother was also quite delighted and came to see us there. So we ate crabs in the midst of chrysanthemums and whiled away the whole day.

Yün was quite enchanted with all this and said,“Some day we must build a cottage here. We’ll buy ten mow of ground around the cottage,and see to our servants planting in the fields vegetables and melons to be sold for the expenses of our daily meals. You will paint and I will do embroidery, from which we could make enough money to buy wine for entertaining our friends who will gather here together to compose poems. Thus, clad in simple gowns and eating simple meals, we could live a very happy life together without going anywhere.”I fully agreed with her. Now the place is still there, while my bosom friend is dead.Alas! such is life!

About half a li from my home, there was a temple to the God of the Tungt’ing Lake, popularly known as the Narcissus Temple, situated in the Ch’uk’u Alley. It had many winding corridors and something of a garden with pavilions. On the birthday of the God, every clan would be assigned a corner in the Temple, where they would hang beautiful glass lanterns of a kind, with a chair in the center ,on the either side of which were placed vases on wooden stands. These vases were decorated with flowers for competition. In the daytime, there would be theatrical performances, while at night the flower-vases were brilliantly illuminated with candlelights in their midst, a custom which was called “Illuminated Flowers.” With the flowers and the lanterns and the smell of incense, the whole show resembled a night feast in the Palace of the Dragon King.The people there would sing or play music, or gossip over their teacups. The audience stood around in crowds to look at the show and there was a railing at the curb to keep them within a certain limit.

I was asked by my friends to help in the decorations and so had the pleasure of taking part in it. When Yün heard me speaking about it at home, she remarked,“ It is a pity that I am not a man and cannot go to see it.”“Why, you could put on my cap and gown and disguise yourself as a man,” I suggested. Accordingly she changed her coiffure into a queue, painted her eyebrows, and put on my cap. Although her hair showed slightly round the temples, it passed off tolerably well. As my gown was found to be an inch and a half too long, she tucked it round the waist and put on a makua on top. “What am I going to do about my feet?” she asked. I told her there was a kind of shoes called“butterfly shoes,” which could fit any size of feet and were very easy to obtain at the shops, and suggested buying a pair for her, which she could also use as slippers later on at home. Yün was delighted with the idea, and after supper, when she had finished her make-up, she paced about the room, imitating the gestures and gait of a man for a long time,when all of a sudden she changed her mind and said,“I am not going! It would be so embarrassing if somebody should discover it, and besides,our parents would object.”Still I urged her to go. “Who doesn’t know me at the Temple?”I said. “Even if they should find it out，they would laugh it off as a joke. Mother is at present in the home of the ninth sister. We could steal away and back without letting anyone know about it.”

若今世不能如愿，那我来世再走。

If I can’t
do it in this life,
then I shall do it in the next.

Yün then had such fun looking at herself in the mirror. I dragged her along and we stole away together to the Temple. For a long time nobody in the Temple could detect it. When people asked, I simply said she was my boy cousin, and people would merely curtsy with their hands together and pass on. Finally, we came to a place where there were some young women and girls sitting behind the flower show. They were the family of the owner of that show,by the name of Yang. Yün suddenly went over to talk with them,and while talking,she casually leant over and touched the shoulder of a young woman. The maid-servants nearby shouted angrily, “How dare the rascal!”I attempted to explain and smooth the matter over,but the servants still scowled ominously on us,and seeing that the situation was desperate, Yün took off her cap and showed her feet, saying “Look here,I am a woman,too!” They all stared at each other in surprise, and then,instead of being angry,began to laugh.We were then asked to sit down and have some tea. Soon afterwards we got sedan-chairs and came home.

When Mr.Ch’ien Shihchu of Wukiang died of an illness,my father wrote a letter to me,asking me to go and attend the funeral. Yün secretly expressed her desire to come along since on our way to Wukiang, we would pass the Taihu Lake, which she wished very much to see. I told her that I was just thinking it would be too lonely for me to go alone,and that it would be excellent, indeed, if she could come along, except that I could not think of a pretext for her going.

“Oh，I could say that I am going to see my mother，”Yün said.“You can go ahead，and I shall come along to meet you.”“If so，” I said,“we can tie up our boat beneath the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years on our way home, where we shall be able to look at the moon again as we did at the Ts’anglang Pavilion.”

This was on the eighteenth day of the sixth moon. That day, I brought a servant and arrived first at Hsükiang Ferry,where I waited for her in the boat. By and by, Yün arrived in a sedan-chair,and we started off, passing by the Tiger’s Roar Bridge, where the view opened up and we saw sailing boats and sand-birds flitting over the lake. The water was a white stretch,joining the sky at the horizon. “So this is Taihu!” Yün exclaimed. “I know now how big the universe is，and I have not lived in vain! I think a good many ladies never see such a view in their whole lifetime.” As we were occupied in conversation,it wasn’t very long before we saw swaying willows on the banks,and we knew we had arrived at Wukiang.

I went up to attend the funeral ceremony, but when I came back,Yün was not in the boat. I asked the boatman and he said,“Don’t you see someone under the willow trees by the bridge, watching the cormorants catching fish?”Yün,then,had gone up with the boatman’s daughter. When I got behind her，I saw that she was perspiring all over,still leaning on the boatman’s daughter and standing there absorbed looking at the cormorants. I patted her shoulder and said，“You are wet through.”Yün turned her head and said，“I was afraid that your friend Ch’ien might come to the boat,so I left to avoid him. Why did you come back so early?” “In order to catch the renegade!” I replied.

We then came back hand-in-hand to the boat, and when we stopped at the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years. The sun had not yet gone down. And we let down all the windows to allow the river breeze to come in, and there, dressed in light silk and holding a silk fan, we sliced a melon to cool ourselves. Soon the evening glow was casting a red hue over the bridge, and the distant haze enveloped the willow trees in twilight. The moon was then coming up, and all along the river we saw a stretch of lights coming from the fishing boats. I asked my servant to go astern and have a drink with the boatman.

全然与世隔绝，以修得内心真正的安宁。

Completely shut
out from the world,
in order to achieve true
peace of mind.

The boatman’s daughter was called Suyün. She was quite a likeable girl, and I had known her before. I beckoned her to come and sit together with Yün on the bow of the boat. We did not put on any light,so that we could the better enjoy the moon, and there we sat drinking heartily and playing literary games with wine as forfeit. Suyün just stared at us, listening for a long time before she said,“Now I am quite familiar with all sorts of wine-games, but have never heard of this one. Will you explain it to me?” Yün tried to explain it by all sorts of analogies to her,but still she failed to understand.

Then I laughed and said, “Will the lady teacher please stop a moment? I have a parable for explaining it, and she will understand at once.”“You try it, then!”“The stork,”I said, “can dance, but cannot plow,while the buffalo can plow, but cannot dance. That lies in the nature of things. You are making a fool of yourself by trying to teach the impossible to her.” Suyün pummelled my shoulder playfully, saying,“You are speaking of me as a buffalo, aren’t you?”Then Yün said,“Hereafter let’s make a rule: let’s have it out with our mouths, but no hands! One who breaks the rule will have to drink a big cup.”As Suyün was a great drinker, she filled a cup full and drank it up at a draught. “I suggest that one may be allowed to use one’s hands for caressing, but not for striking,” I said. Yün then playfully pushed Suyün into my lap, saying,“Now you can caress her to your full.”“How stupid of you!”I laughed in reply. “The beauty of caressing lies in doing it naturally and half unconsciously. Only a country bumpkin will hug and caress a woman roughly.” I noticed that the jasmine in the hair of both of them gave out a strange fragrance, mixed with the flavour of wine, powder and hair lotion and remarked to Yün, “The‘common little fellow’stinks all over the place. It makes me sick.”Hearing this, Suyün struck me blow after blow with her fist in a rage, saying, “Who told you to smell it?”

“She breaks the rule! Two big cups!” Yün shouted.

“He called me‘common little fellow.’Why shouldn’t I strike him?”protested Suyün.

“He really means by the‘common little fellow’something which you don’t understand. You finish these two cups first and I’ll tell you.”

When Suyün had finished the two cups, Yün told her of our discussion about the jasmine at the Ts’anglang Pavilion.

“Then the mistake is mine. I must be penalized again,”said Suyün.And she drank a third cup.

Yün said then that she had long heard of her reputation as a singer and would like to hear her sing. This Suyün did beautifully, beating time with her ivory chopsticks on a little plate. Yün drank merrily until she was quite drunk, when she took a sedan-chair and went home first,while I remained chatting with Suyün for a moment, and then walked home under the moonlight.

At this time, we were staying in the home of our friend Lu Panfang,in a house called Hsiaoshuanglou. A few days afterwards, Mrs.Lu heard of the story from someone, and secretly told Yün, “Do you know that your hushand was drinking a few days ago at the Bridge of Ten Thousand Years with two sing-song girls?”“Yes, I do,” replied Yün，“and one of the sing-song girls was myself.”Then she told her the whole story and Mrs. Lu had a good laugh at herself.

假如你爱上一样东西，自会忘记它的丑陋。

If you are in love
with a thing,
you will forget its ugliness.

When I came back from Eastern Kwangtung in the seventh moon,1794, there was a boy cousin-in-law of mine, by the name of Hsü Hsiufeng, who had brought home with him a concubine. He was crazy about her beauty and asked Yün to go and see her. After seeing her,Yün remarked to Hsiufeng one day,“She has beauty but no charm .”“Do you mean to say that when your husband takes a concubine，she must have both beauty and charm?”answered Hsiufeng. Yün replied in the affirmative. So from that time on, she was quite bent on finding a concubine for me, but was short of cash.

At this time there was a Chekiang sing-song girl by the name of Wen Lenghsiang, who was staying at Soochow. She had composed four poems on the Willow Catkins which were talked about all over the city, and many scholars wrote poems in reply, using the same rhymewords as her originals, as was the custom. There was a friend of mine,Chang Hsienhan of Wukiang, who was a good friend of Lenghsiang and brought her poems to me, asking us to write some in reply. Yün wasn’t interested because she did not think much of her, but I was intrigued and composed one on the flying willow catkins which filled the air in May. Two lines which Yün liked very much were：

“They softly touch the spring sorrow in my bosom，

And gently stir the longings in her heart.”

On the fifth day of the eighth moon in the following year, my mother was going to see Huch’iu with Yün, when Hsienhan suddenly appeared and said,“I am going to Huch’iu, too. Will you come along with me and see a beautiful sing-song girl?” I told my mother to go ahead and agreed to meet her at Pant’ang near Huch’iu. My friend then dragged me to Lenghsiang’s place. I saw that Lenghsiang was already in her middle-age, but she had a girl by the name of Hanyüan, who was a very sweet young maiden, still in her teens. Her eyes looked“like an autumn lake that cooled one by its cold splendour.” After talking with her for a while, I learnt that she knew very well how to read and write.There was also a younger sister of hers, by the name of Wenyüan, who was still a mere child.

人终有一死。我唯一遗憾的是，

我们不得不中途永别，

我不能继续做你的妻子陪你到最后。

Every one has to die once.

My only regret is,

we have to part half-way from each

other for ever,

and I am not able to be your wife

until the end of your days.

I had then no thought of going about with a sing-song girl, fully realizing that, as a poor scholar, I could not afford to take part in the feast in such a place. But since I was there already, I tried to get along as best I could.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” I said to Hsienhan secretly.

“No, ” he replied, “someone had invited me today to a dinner in Hanyüan’s place in return for a previous dinner. It happened that the host himself was invited by an important person, and I am acting in his place. Don’ t you worry! ”

I felt then quite relieved. Arriving at Pant’ang, we met my mother’s boat, and I asked Hanyüan to go over to her boat and meet her. When Yün and Han met each other, they instinctively took to each other like old friends, and later they went hand-in-hand all over the famous places on the hill. Yün was especially fond of a place called “A Thousand Acres of Clouds” for its loftiness, and she remained there for a long time, lost in admiration of the scenery. We returned to the Waterside of Rural Fragrance where we tied up the boats and had a jolly drinking party together.

When we started on our way home, Yün said, “Will you please go over to the other boat with your friend, while I share this one with Han?” We did as she suggested, and I did not return to my boat until we had passed the Tut’ing Bridge, where we parted from my friend and Hanyüan. It was midnight by the time we returned home.

“Now I have found a girl who has both beauty and charm, ”Yün said to me. “I have already asked Hanyüan to come and see us tomorrow, and I’ll arrange it for you.”I was taken by surprise.

“You know we are not a wealthy family. We can’t afford to keep a girl like that, and we are so happily married. Why do you want to find somebody else? ”

“But I love her, ”said Yün smilingly.“You just leave it to me.”

The following afternoon, Hanyüan actually came. Yün was very cordial to her and prepared a feast, and we played the fingerguessing game and drank, but during the whole dinner, not a word was mentioned about securing her for me. When Hanyüan had gone, Yün said,“I have secretly made another appointment with her to come on the eighteenth, when we will pledge ourselves as sisters. You must prepare a sacrificial offering for the occasion”; and pointing to the emerald bracelet on her arm, she continued, “if you see this bracelet appear on Hanyüan’s arm, you’ll understand that she has consented.I have already hinted at it to her, but we haven’t got to know each other as thoroughly as I should like to yet. ” I had to let her have her own way.

On the eighteenth, Hanyüan turned up in spite of a pouring rain.She disappeared in the bedroom for a long time before she came out hand-in-hand with Yün. When she saw me, she felt a little shy, for the bracelet was already on her arm. After they had burnt incense and pledged an oath, Yün wanted to have another drink together with her that day. But it happened that Hanyüan had an engagement to go and visit the Shih-hu Lake, and soon she left.

Yün came to me all smiles and said,“Now that I have found a beauty for you, how are you going to reward the go-between?”I asked her for the details.

“I had to broach the topic delicately to her,” she said，“because I was afraid that she might have someone else in mind. Now I have learnt that there isn’t anyone, and I asked her, ‘Do you understand why we have this pledge today?’ ‘I should feel greatly honoured if I could come to your home, but my mother is expecting a lot of me and I can’t decide by myself. We will watch and see, ’ she replied. As I was putting on the bracelet, I told her again, ‘The jade is chosen for its hardness as a token of fidelity and the bracelet’s roundness is a symbol of everlasting faithfulness. Meanwhile, please put it on as a token of our pledge. She replied that everything depends on me. So it seems that she is willing herself. The only difficulty is her mother, Lenghsiang. We will wait and see how it turns out.”

“Are you going to enact the comedy Lianhsiangpan of Li Liweng right in our home?”

“ Yes!” Yün replied.

From that time on, not a day passed without her mentioning Hanyüan’s name. Eventually Hanyüan was married by force to some influential person, and our arrangements did not come off. And Yün actually died of grief on this account. CLQ6oGUrrsnTm/1JyZRuHrkKK18pFwnp5besqD5kX8PmFSG4qFimYrw99vwab5Bv