Peggy was still alive but not doing very well. Her mind was foggy and she had a tendency to get lost in time. That made it difficult to talk to her sometimes, and also Steve had a hard time seeing her and remembering what he’d lost because of Hydra. He saw her anyway, and sat at her bedside in the home where she had raised her children and had the life he’d been denied.
“You should be proud of yourself, Peggy,” he said, looking at old photographs on the bedside table. It was true. She’d been in on the founding of S.H.I.E.LD., conducted dozens of top-secret operations in Europe during World War II....Most people didn’t do that much in ten lifetimes.
“Mmm,” she said. “I have lived a life. My only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.” She saw that something was bothering him. “What is it?”
He wanted to tell her about Project Insight, but he couldn’t. Even if everyone else in S.H.I.E.L.D. was spilling secrets, he wouldn’t. But he wanted to say something. “For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right. I guess I’m not quite sure what that is anymore. And I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders. Serve. It’s just not the same.”
“You’re always so dramatic,” she said. “Look, you saved the world. We rather mucked it up.”
“You didn’t. Knowing that you helped found S.H.I.E.L.D. is half the reason I stay.”
Peggy took his hand. “Hey. The world has changed, and none of us can go back. All we can do is our best. And sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.”
A coughing fit took her, and Steve got her a drink of water. Her eyes were closed as she got the coughing under control. When she opened them again, an expression of wonder came over her face. “Steve,” she breathed, like he’d just come into the room.
“Yeah?”
“You’re alive. You came back.”
She was lost again, in the fog of age. It broke Steve’s heart to see her this way, but he stuck it out. He wouldn’t hurt her, even if it meant pretending something that wasn’t true. “Yeah, Peggy.”
“It’s been so long. So long.” She was crying.
“Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl,” Steve said. It was all he could do not to start crying himself. Instead he smiled and added, “Not when she owes me a dance.”
He stayed with her until she fell asleep. When he left, he was more certain than ever about what he should do next.