遗忘

April is the cruelest month, breeding

Lilacs（丁香花）out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring（唤醒）

Dull roots with spring rain.

Winter kept us warm, covering

Earth in forgetful snow, feeding

A little life with dried tubers（块茎）.

(T. S. Eliot, "The Wasteland")

春天是万物生长的季节，但艾略特的“四月”却是最残酷的月份，因为在“蠢蠢欲动”的日子里，除了残存的记忆和一点点“欲望”之外，似乎什么也“动”不了。即使是那记忆，也逐渐模糊、混乱，几乎要消散殆尽了，而“欲望”，如果还有的话，也变得衰微、麻木。这样的季节，这样的诗句，让我想起一首名叫“Oblivion”（《遗忘》）的曲子——一首不像tango（探戈）的tango。

说道tango，那原本是表现如火欲望的调子，于阿根廷和乌拉圭起源，逐渐风靡欧洲。早期tango演奏者被称为“the Old Guard”，从这名字就能感受到这帮人（确切地说，是男人）的热血气势。20世纪初期，tango最受南美匪类、黑帮的青睐，也是妓馆、娼寮里永不停歇的背景音乐。那热情的乐曲和霸气的舞姿，处处都在炫耀着雄性动物的不可一世与咄咄逼人——至少在外行人眼里，tango是男人的音乐和舞蹈，而女人，不过是被揽来抛去的战利品。tango如此迅猛欢畅，许多时候有如高手过招，让人无暇调匀呼吸，更不必说有时间思考。

阿根廷诗人利卡多·基拉德斯（Ricardo Güiraldes）在名为“Tango”的诗作中这样写道：

"Creator of silhouette（剪影）that glide by（消逝）silently

as if hypnotized（催眠）by a blood-filled dream,

hats tilted（倾斜）over sardonic（讽刺的）sneers（冷笑）.

The all-absorbing love of a tyrant（暴君，专横的人）,

jealously guarding his dominion（领地）,

over women who have surrendered submissively（顺从地）,

like obedient（顺从的）beasts."

阿根廷作家豪尔赫·路易斯·博尔赫斯（Jorge Luis Borges）有个短篇，叫《玫瑰角的汉子》（“Streetcorner Man”） ，讲的就是妓院里一群汉子们在tango与女人的环绕下发生的故事。有个名叫Rosendo Juarez的，绰号the Slasher（锯木机），是个靠耍刀子吃饭的汉子，据说曾经坏了两三条好汉的性命，在小镇Villa Santa Rita享有鼎鼎大名。“He was admired for the way he handled a knife. Sharp dresser（穿着讲究）, too. He always rode up to the whorehouse on a dark horse, his riding gear（骑马装备）decked out in silver. There wasn't a man or dog that didn't respect him—and that goes for the women as well. Everyone knew that he had at least a couple of killings to his credit. He usually wore a soft hat with a narrow brim（边，缘）and tall crown, and it would sit in a cocky（神气的，自大的）way on his long hair, which he slicked（用水或油使头发光滑发亮）straight back. Lady luck smiled on him, as they say, and around Villa all of us who were younger used to ape（模仿）him—even as to how he spit（吐痰）.”这样有型有种的汉子，在小镇上的任何一家妓院或是跳舞场子里，自然最美的tango曲都是为他演奏，最美的女人都是为他舞蹈。

不过，有天晚上从北方来了一条诨号The Butcher（屠夫）的好汉，带了一帮兄弟来挑战。传说中那么有种的Rosendo面对强敌，立时变了一副低声下气的模样，就连女人递上来的刀子也不敢挥一挥，却径直丢进窗外的河沟里。这曲tango，霸主自然是The Butcher，他便也有资格挽了那原本属于Rosendo的最美的女人La Lujanera：“Wrapping his arms around La Lujanera, he called to the musicians to play loud and strong, and he ordered the rest of us to dance. From one end of the hall to the other, the music ran like wildfire. Real（“屠夫”的本名，雷亚尔）danced stiffly（僵硬地）, but he held his partner close, and in no time he had her under his spell（不一会儿，他就把她迷住了）. When they drew near the door, he shouted, 'Make way, boys, she's all mine now!' And out they went, cheek to cheek, as though floating off on the tango.”在大英雄的映衬下，旁观的小喽啰们一时羞红了脸，顿感自己的生命如同草芥：“In the middle of the ragweed（豚草属植物）and the dump heaps（垃圾堆）and the whole forsaken（被遗弃的）neighborhood, I（小喽啰之一）had sprouted up（长成）no more than a weed myself. With our big mouths and no guts , what else would grow there but trash like us?”

但是没过个把钟头，这条生龙活虎的汉子就不知被谁给捅了。然后，为了避免警察注意这里的乱子，帮闲的众人七手八脚，把他扔进刚才Rosendo扔刀子的那条河里，扔之前，人们不忘把他的钱财掏光。人们明白，什么英雄、懦夫，在这本就像垃圾场一般混沌的地方，其实没有什么分别。那好汉的“guts”被掏空之后，他应该就不会在那条吞没了许多肮脏污秽之物的河沟里浮起来，而是被它的浊流裹挟着不知到什么更为腌臜的地方去，他的故事也很快就被人们忘记，也不会有人为他再写一首tango。

不会有吗？不，也许有，但那首tango不再是关于灯红酒绿或热血拼杀，而只能是关于“遗忘”——皮亚佐拉（Astor Piazzolla）的“Oblivion”便是这样的一支曲子了。

皮亚佐拉被音乐界誉为“the world's foremost composer of tango music”，他的作品革命性地在传统探戈中加入爵士和古典音乐的元素，而成为新探戈（nuevo tango）一派。皮亚佐拉的tango在音乐上的诸多革新并非本文关心之处，只是如“Oblivion”这样的曲子中所展现的一派全然不同于传统tango之热情或哀怨的沉思意味，与博尔赫斯的故事确有异曲同工之处。在皮亚佐拉的班多钮手风琴（bandoneon）描绘下，生活中的伤感、失望，甚至生命之意义的失落，似乎都随着音符，像大火后的灰烬，慢慢降落，把这世界和世界上的生物掩埋。因为皮亚佐拉，tango不再热情似火。其实欲望与失望本来便是一对双生子，tango也终将有曲终人散之时。

说到英语中的“遗忘”，我知道一动一静两个词：forget和oblivion。动词forget颇为常用，可以是“记不得过去做过的”，可以是“记不住将来要做的”，甚至可以是“不去想”或“刻意忽略某事或某人”，总之，人是主动者。与之相比，则oblivion就要被动得多了。《牛津高阶英汉双解词典》对此词的释义有三：“1．a state in which you are not aware of what is happening around you, usually because you are unconscious or asleep. 2．the state in which somebody/something has been forgotten and is no longer famous or important. 3．a state in which something has been completely destroyed.”

虽然好记性被认为是一种美德，但是“遗忘”，特别是主动的“forget”，倒也并非全然是坏事。其一就是，因为我们的大脑容量有限，记住太多琐碎之事，便自然没有那么多的空间留给更为重要的。所以，像福尔摩斯这样的“思考机器”，会认为刻意忘记那些“无用”的东西是有效率的大脑必备的本事。例如，作为一位现代人，他竟然不知道“地心说”，而当华生告诉他这个知识的时候，他却说：“Now that I do know it I shall do my best to forget it. You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic（阁楼）, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber（胡乱堆积的东西）of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up（使混乱）with a lot of other things so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment（分类）, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic（有弹性的）walls and can distend（膨胀）to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing ou（t排挤，推出）the useful ones.”( A Study in Scarlet )

“遗忘”的另一种形式，“oblivion”，便是被动的了。因为种种原因，人们会陷入“oblivion”的状态。汤姆·克鲁斯（Tom Cruise）有部电影，片名便叫做《遗落战境》（ Oblivion ），是关于地球末日的。不过这电影太过粗暴，把原本应该有的“oblivion”那种若隐若现的朦胧曲线全部抹平了。若说这电影的好处，便是它把oblivion这个词的含义十分充分地发挥了出来——有毁灭，有无知无觉，也有被那更高级的存在忘记和舍弃。而这最后一点，在人类历史上，是一个一直困扰着我们的问题——我们是否已经身陷被上帝遗忘的角落，被oblivion掩埋？

在《等待戈多》（ Waiting For Godot ）这部戏中，真正让人痛心的不是两个流浪汉等啊等的总等不来戈多，而是他们每日都在等，每晚都会得到戈多的使者小童儿同样的回答，而且每次小童儿都告诉他们，以前从没有见过他们，这是第一次。那么，他们每日的等啊等还有意义吗？这便是oblivion的感觉吧。oblivion，并非是因为记性不好，而是许多时候，时间让原本“天大”的事情，比如约会、爱情、事业，甚至人生都变得不值一提。

在《呼啸山庄》（ Wuthering Heights ）中，Catherine在弥留之际紧紧抓住情人Heathcliff不放，哪怕自己的丈夫拎了枪冲进房来，因为她生怕落入“oblivion”——在许多时候，死亡并不可怕，可怕的是“被遗忘”。然而，那些不管多么重要的人或事，被遗忘总是难免。黛玉葬花，感叹的也是如此。人生如花，灿然枝头时，众人艳羡，落到尘埃中，便也一同化作尘埃，落得个“花落人亡两不知”。有关英雄豪侠或是美女红伶的记忆，随着时间被无限拉长而逐渐淡去，剩下的，不过是细若游丝的叹息。

然而，没准儿哪天谁家充满好奇心的小狗，会用它尖利的爪子扒开那深藏的记忆，那时，又要有新的故事好讲了……

"That corpse（尸体）you planted last year in your garden,

Has it begun to sprout（发芽）? Will it bloom this year?

Or has the sudden frost disturbed its bed?

O keep the Dog far hence, that's friend to men,

Or with his nails he'll dig it up again!"

（T. S. Eliot, "The Wasteland") 3bkYc6DhsUPv7UXKds9nBHAi/86QLfiwU3rmfFngfhB1cCGWWMq/cGAPrMnjmtti