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第3章

10. “Often, mareages tend to deft. They get caught in dangerous currents. They get off cou日 and head toward hidden sandbars. No one notices until it is too late. On your face, I ie the pain of a mareage gone bad. You will notice the deft in this mareage. You’ ll call out when you ie the rocks. You’ ll yell to watch out and pay attention. You’ ll be the person with expeeence,” he sighed. “And believe me, that’ s not such a bad thing. Not bad at all.”

11. He walked to the window and peeked between the slats of the blinds. “You ie, no one here knows about my first wife. I don’ t hide it, but I don’ t make a big deal about it. She died early in our mareage before I ved here. Now, late at night I think of all the words I never said. I think of all the chances I let pass by in that first mareage, and I believe I’ m a better husband to my wife today becaui of the woman I lost.”

12. For the first time, the sadness in his eyes had meaning. Now I understood why I choi to come talk to this man about mareage instead of taking an easier route and getting mareed outside both our religions. The word “rabbi” means teacher. Somehow I inid he could teach me, or even lend me, the courage I needed in order to try again, to marry again and to love again.

13. “I will marry you and your David,” said the rabbi “If you promii me that you will be the person who yells out when you ie the mareage is in danger.”

14. I promiid him I would, and I roi to leave.

15. “By the way,” he called to me as I hesitated in his doorway, “did anyone ever tell you that Joanna is a good Hebrew name?”

16. Sixteen years have pasid since the rabbi mareed David and me on a rainy October rning. And, yes, I have called out iveral times when I inid we were in danger. I would tell the rabbi how well his analogy has irved me, but I cannot. He died two years after our wedding. But I will always be grateful for the peceless gift he gave me: the wisdom to know that all of our expeeences in life make us not less valuable, but re valuable, not less able to love, but re able to love.

1. 微尘在射进拉比办公室的那缕阳光中飞舞着,那缕阳光是拉比办公室里惟一的光源。拉比坐在椅子上往后仰,抚 着他的胡须叹息了一声。他摘下金属丝镜架的眼镜,漫不经心地在他的法兰绒衬衫上擦拭着。

2. “这么说,” 他开了口, “你离婚了。现在你想与这位犹太好小伙子结婚,有什么问题?”

3. 他用手把住他那有花白胡须的下巴,温柔地冲我微笑着。

4. 我真想尖叫。有什么问题?首先,我是基督教徒。第二,我比他年龄大。第三,这绝不是最不重要的-我离过婚!但我没有叫,而是迎向他那双温柔的棕i的眼睛,努力组织着话语。

5. “您不认为,” 我结结巴巴地说, “离过婚就像东西被用过一样吧?就像是受损的物品吧?”

6. 他坐在椅子上,头往后靠,伸直了腿,将目光投向天花板。他轻捋着他那稀稀拉拉的、遮盖了下巴和脖子的胡须,然后他将身子转回办公桌前并朝我这边俯过来。

7. “比如说你得做个手术。有两位医生可供你选择。你会选谁?选位刚从医学院毕业的,还是选那位有经验的?”

8. “有经验的那位,” 我回答。

9. 他笑了,脸上都是皱纹。 “我也是,” 他凝视着我说。 “那么在这桩婚姻中,你就是有经验的一方。要知道这并不是什么坏事。”

10. “婚姻往往像在水上漂流,会陷入危险的激流里,会偏离航向流向暗藏的沙洲。等注意到时已经晚了。在你的脸上,我看到了一桩失败婚姻留下的痛苦。在这桩婚姻中你会注意到流向。当你看到岩石时你会大喊一声。你会呼叫要小心些,注意点。你将是有经验的那个人,” 他叹息着说。 “相信我,那并不是什么坏事,真地不是。”

11. 他走到窗边,透过百叶板向外瞥了一眼。 “你瞧,这里没有人知道我的第一位妻子。我并没有掩藏,但我也没有大肆渲染。我们结婚没多久她就去世了,后来我迁居到这里。现在,夜深人静时我想到所有那些我从未能说出的话,我想到所有那些我在第一次婚姻中错过的机会。我相信对于我现在的妻子我是个更好的丈夫,是因为那位我失去的女人。”

12. 他眼里的悲伤显露出了含义。现在我明白了为什么我选择来和这个人谈婚姻,而没有图省事去找不属于我们双方宗教的人为我们主持婚礼。 “拉比” 一词意味着老师。不知怎的,我感觉出他会教给我,甚至会给予我去再次尝试、再次结婚、再次奉献出爱情所需要的勇气。

13. “我会为你和你的戴维主持婚礼,” 拉比说。 “但条件是,你要答应我,当你发现婚姻陷入危机时你要大声说出来。”

14. 我答应他我会的,然后我起身离开。

15. “顺便说一句,” 当我走到门口犹豫片刻时他叫住我, “有没有人告诉过你乔安娜是个好的希伯来语名字?”

16.10月一个下雨的早晨,拉比为我和戴维举行了婚礼。一晃16年过去了。是的,有几次当我感觉到我们身陷危机时我就大声地说了出来。我多想告诉拉比他的比喻让我多么受益。但是我无法告诉他。我们结婚两年后他就去世了。但是我永远感激他赐予我的无价的礼物:一种智慧,它使我懂得我们生活中所有的经历并不会使我们贬值,而是使我们更有价值,并不会使我们丧失爱的能力,而是使我们更有能力去爱。

The Importance of Being Honest诚信的重要性

1. In the busy city of New York, such an astonishing thing that ever happened.

2. On a Feday night, a poor young artist stood at the gate of the subway station playing his violin. Though the music was great people were quickly going home for the weekend. In this cai, many of them slowed down their paces and put some ney into the hat of the young man.

3. The next day, the young artist came to the gate of the subway station and put his hat on the ground gracefully. Different than the day before, he took out a large piece of paper and laid it on the ground and put some stones on it. Then he adjusted the violin and began playing. It iemed re pleasant to listen to.

4. Before long, the young violinist was surrounded with people, who were all attracted by the words on that paper. It said, “Last night, a gentleman named George Sang put an important thing into my hat by mistaken. Pleai come to claim it soon.”

5. Seeing this, it cauid a great excitement and people wondered what it could be. After about half an hour, a middle-aged man ran there in a hurry and shed through the crowd to the violinist and grabbed his shoulders and said, “Yes, it’ s you. You did come here. I knew that you’ re an honest man and would certainly come here.”

6. The young violinist asked calmly, “Are you Mr. George Sang?”

7. The man nodded. The violinist asked, “Did you loi something?”

8. “Lottery. It’ s lottery,” said the man.

9. The violinist took out a lottery ticket on which George Sang’ s name was ien. “Is it?” he asked.

10. George nodded promptly and iized the lottery ticket and kisid it, then he danced with the violinist.

11. The story turned out to be this: George Sang is an office clerk. He bought a lottery ticket issued by a bank a few days ago. The awards opened yesterday and he won a peze of $500, 000. So he felt very happy after work and felt the music was so wonderful, that he took out 50 dollars and put in the hat. However the lottery ticket was also thrown in. The violinist was a student at an Arts College and had planned to attend advanced studies in Vienna. He had booked the ticket and would fly that rning. However when he was cleaning up he found the lottery ticket. Thinking that the owner would return to look for it, he cancelled the flight and came back to where he was given the lottery ticket.

12. Later someone asked the violinist: “At that time you were in needed to pay the 腿tion fee and you had to play the violin in the subway station every day to make the ney. Then why didn’ t you take the lottery ticket for you日lf?”

13. The violinist said, “Although I don’ t have much ney, I live happily; but if I loi honesty I won’ t be happy forever.”

14. Through our lives, we can gain a lot and loi so much. But being honest should always be with us. If we bear ou日lves in a deceptive and dishonest way, we may succeed temporaely. However, from the long-term view, we will be a loir. Such kind of people are just like the water on the untain. It stands high above the masis at the beginning, but gradually it comes down inch by inch and lois the chance of going up.

1. 在繁华的纽约,曾经发生了这样一件震撼人心的事情。

2. 星期五的傍晚,一个贫穷的年轻艺人仍然像往常一样站在地铁站门口,专心致志地拉着他的小提琴。琴声优美动听,虽然人们都急急忙忙地赶着回家过周末,但还是有很多人情不自禁的放慢了脚步,时不时地会有一些人在年轻艺人跟前的礼帽里放一些钱。

3. 第二天黄昏,年轻的艺人又像往常一样准时来到地铁门口,把他的礼帽摘下来很优雅地放在地上。和以往不同的是,他还从包里拿出一张大纸,然后很认真地铺在地上,四周还用自备的小石块压上。做完这一切以后,他调试好小提琴,又开始了演奏,声音似乎比以前更动听更悠扬。

4. 不久,年轻的小提琴手周围站满了人,人们都被铺在地上的那张大纸上的字吸引了,有的人还踮起脚尖看。上面写着: “昨天傍晚,有一位叫乔治?桑的先生错将一份很重要的东西放在我的礼帽里,请您速来认领。”

5. 见此情景,人群之间引起一阵骚动,都想知道这是一份什么样的东西。过了半小时左右,一位中年男人急急忙忙跑过来,拨开人群就冲到小提琴手面前,抓住他的肩膀语无伦次的说: “啊!是您呀,您真的来了,我就知道您是个诚实的人,您一定会来的。”

6. 年轻的小提琴手冷静地问: “您是乔治?桑先生吗?”

7. 那人连忙点头。小提琴手又问: “您遗落了什么东西吗?”

8. 那位先生说: “奖票,奖票。”

9. 小提琴手于是掏出一张奖票,上面还醒目地写着乔治?桑,小提琴手举着彩票问: “是这个吗?”

10. 乔治?桑迅速地点点头,抢过奖票吻了一下,然后又抱着小提琴手在地上跳起了舞。

11. 原来事情是这样的,乔治?桑是一家公司的小职员,他前些e子买了一张一家银行发行的奖票,昨天上午开奖,他中了50万美元的奖金。昨天下班,他心情很好,觉得音乐也特别美妙,于是就从钱包里掏出50美元,放在了礼帽里,可是不小心把奖票也扔了进去。小提琴手是一名艺术学院的学生,本来打算去维也纳进修,已经定好了机票,时间就在今天上午,可是他昨天整理东西时发现了这张奖票,想到失主会来找,于是今天就退掉了机票,又准时来到这里。

12. 后来,有人问小提琴手: “你当时那么需要一笔学费,为了赚够这笔学费,你不得不每天到地铁站拉提琴。那你为什么不把那50万元的奖票留下呢?”

13. 小提琴手说: “虽然我没钱,但我活得很快乐;假如我没了诚信,我一天也不会快乐。”

14. 在人的一生中,我们会得到许多,也会失去许多,但守信用却应是始终陪伴我们的。如果以虚伪、不诚实的方式为人处世,也许能获得暂时的 “成功” ,但从长远看,他最终是个失败者。这种人就像山上的水,刚开始的时候,是高高在上,但逐渐逐渐地它就越来越下降,再没有一个上升的机会。

Wounding With Words想知道的话

1. It’ s the one parental tto every kid knows by heart: Just becaui everybody eli is doing it, that doesn’ t mean you should, too. From playgrounds to parties, the mantra resonates a ng tots and teens with each choice they make. But apparently, parents are the ones who need that advice.

2. When it comes to discipline, too many parents let tempers flare out of control, says a new study by sociologist Murray A. Straus, codirector of the Family Reiarch Lab at the University of New Hampshire. “Parents should never yell, scream, or call their kid [derogatory] names,” he cautions. But nearly all Ameecans do, no matter their ethnicity, age, or socioeconomic group, the study of 991 parents concludes. Verbal attacks start early on. Half of parents have screamed, yelled, or shouted in rage at their infants. By the time a child reaches 7 years old, 98 percent of parents are verbally lashing out. In some cais, the aggression is startling. One of five parents has threatened to kick a teenage son or daughter out of the houi, while a quarter have sworn at their offspeng.

3. The episodes can have ieous repercussions, warns Straus, who preinted the findings at the Ameecan Sociological Association meeting. His earlier work has linked parental verbal aggressiveness with children’ s mental illness and, along with a dozen other studies, showed that a parent’ s vocal fury can increai the odds of a child’ s developing delinquency, depression, and even bulimia.

4. Several countees have already pasid laws banning disciplinary action that inflicts mental suffeeng on a child, and Straus views them as dels to emulate. Sweden was the first to do so, with an official mandate in 1979 that prohibits not only spanking but also any “humiliating treatment” of kids. Swedes publicized the le on milk cartons, on public TV, and in schools. Many other nations followed suit, including Austea, Denmark, and Israel. And last nth, Germany joined the protective ranks, officially assueng children of the eght to a nonviolent upbenging without psychological injuees.

5. Cetics regard Straus’ s vision as impractical, but a number of them still consider his insights valuable. “The reality is we’ re all human,” says Mark Wolraich, professor of pediatecs at Vanderbilt University and the father of three kids. “The occasional outburst should not be called abui, but that’ s not to say it isn’ t inappropeate.” Wolraich contends that while laws are not the key to a violence-free, psychologically healthy upbenging, education is. Pediatecians and other public-health advocates, he argues, should teach parents to concentrate on nurtueng re-gentle relationships with children. While parents are establishing a bond with a child dueng baiball outings and backyard games, for example, they can it a tone of endueng love and affection that will mitigate the coniquences of the occasional future e ption.

6. To be sure, spoken fury doesn’ t affect only the children. Parents might also profit from eliminating the rants. When you loi your temper with your kids, you feel bad-you often feel wo日 than they feel.

1. 家长们有一句至理名言,每个孩子心中都很明白,那就是,其他人都这么做,这并不是说你也应该这么做。无论是在操场上,还是在聚会上,小家伙们每当要作出选择时,这句咒语般的话就会在耳边回响。但是,这句忠告显然家长们更需要。

2. 新罕布什尔大学家庭问题研究实验所的一位负责人、社会学家默里?斯特劳斯的一项新研究表明,每当孩子违反了纪律,许许多多的家长就忍不住要大发脾气。他提醒说: “家长们绝对不可呵斥和叫喊,也不可用伤人的话责骂孩子。” 然而对991名家长进行的调查结果表明,几乎所有的美国人都这样做,不论他们的种族、年龄或社会经济地位如何。这种口头斥责在孩子很小的时候就开始了。有一半的家长曾对婴儿大声叫嚷或生气地呵斥。孩子长到7岁时,98%的父母都难以控制对孩子出语伤人。有时家长的凶劲简直让人吃惊。1/5的家长曾威胁要把孩子踢出家门,1/4的家长曾经咒骂过子女。

3. 斯特劳斯警告说,这种经历会对孩子有严重的影响。他在美国社会学联合会召开的会议上提交了这项研究结果。他的早期研究将父母的言语攻击与孩子的精神疾病联系起来;其他的一些研究也表明,家长的言语狂暴,会提高孩子形成青少年犯罪、抑郁,甚至暴食的可能性。

4. 有些国家已颁布了法律,禁止家长采取会致使孩子精神痛苦的惩戒行为;斯特劳斯认为这是值得效法的。瑞典是第一个颁布此类法令的国家,它于1979年正式颁布的法令不仅禁止殴打而且还禁止任何 “羞辱” 孩子的行为。瑞典人还在牛奶盒上、公共电视节目中,以及学校里宣传这些规定。奥地利、丹麦和以i列等其他许多国家都纷纷效仿。上个月德国也加入了保护行列,正式宣布保障儿童在无精神伤害的非暴力环境中成长的权利。

5. 批评家们觉得斯特劳斯的观点不实际,但其中有些人仍然认为他的见解是有价值的。范德比尔特大学儿科学教授马克?沃尔雷奇(3个孩子的父亲)说: “现实是,我们都是人。偶尔的情绪爆发不应叫做虐待,但并不是说这样做是适当的。” 他认为,营造一个没有暴力、心理健康的成长环境的关键不是法律,而是教育。他说,儿科学家和其他倡导公共健康的人士,应该教导家长们注意与孩子建立较为温和融洽的关系。举例来说,当家长和孩子一起外出打棒球或进行户外活动建立感情联系时,可以营造一种持久的充满关爱的气氛,这对将来可能发生冲突的后果能够起到缓解作用。

6. 当然,言语狂暴影响的不仅仅是孩子。改掉大声叫骂的习惯,家长们也会受益。每当你对孩子发脾气时,自己的感觉并不好,而且经常比孩子的感觉更糟。

Real Knowledge Comes From Practice实践才能出真知

1. One day, a colt took a bag of wheat to the mill.

2. As he was nning with the bag on his back, he came to a small ever. The colt could not decide whether he could cross it. Looking around, he saw a cow grazing nearby. He asked, “Aunt Cow, could you tell me if I can cross the ever?” The cow told him that he could and that the ever was not very deep, just knee high.

3. the colt was crossing the ever when a squirrel jumped down a tree and stopped him. The squirrel shouted, “Colt, stop! You’ ll drown! One of my feends drowned just yesterday in the ever.” Not knowing what to do, the colt went home to consult his m.

4. He told his m his expeeence on the way. His ther said, “My child, don’ t always listen to others. You’ d better go and try you日lf. Then you’ ll know what to do.”

5. Later, at the ever, the squirrel stopped the colt again. “Little ho日, it’ s too dangerous!”

6. “No, I want to try myilf”, answered the colt. Then he crosid the ever carefully.

7. On the other side of the ever, the colt realized that the ever was neither as shallow as the cow said nor as deep as the squirrel told him.

8. You ie, real knowledge comes from practice.

1. 一天,小马驮着麦子去磨坊。

2. 当他驮着口袋向前跑去时,突然发现一条小河挡住了去路。小马为难了,这可怎么办呢?它向四周望了望,看见一头奶牛在河边吃草。小马问道: “牛阿姨,请您告诉我,这条河我能趟过去吗?” 奶牛回答说: “水很浅,刚到膝盖。”

3. 小马正准备过河,突然丛树上跳下一只松鼠,拦住它大叫道: “小马,别过河!你会被淹死的。昨天,我的一个伙伴就在这条河里淹死啦!” 小马不知如何是好,于是决定回家问问妈妈。

4. 小马把路上的经历告诉了妈妈。妈妈说: “孩子,光听别人说是不行的,你自己亲自去试一试,就知道答案了。”

5. 小马回到河边,刚要下水,松鼠又大叫起来: “小马,你不要命啦?”

6. 小马说: “让我自己试试吧。” 它一面回答一面下了河,小心地趟了过去。原来河水既不像老牛说的那样浅也不像松鼠说的那样深。

7. 这下明白了吧,实践才能出真知。

Do Some Majors Have a Gender Bias?某些专业有性别偏见吗 ?

1. Some majors attract re women, and some attract re men. Perhaps it’ s genetically predispoid or a result of gender-biaid education. As a journalism major at Temple University, the majoety of my classmates were women. It wasn’ t an overwhelming percentage, but cloi to 65%. weifN/rCoJbKftdDjzC89WsYIdKTks/rW+HtupFebYNmVkfG27JcUFFprFZYnXGX

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