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第二章

第一部分:The Key to Your Well-Being Is Grasped by Yourself幸福的钥匙由你掌握

生命不息,变化不止。渐渐地,我们认清自己,了解自己,明白我们肩上的重担。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们自己的心境。

You Are the Only One Who Can Make You Happy你是唯一能让自己幸福的人

1.“You are the only one who can make you happy.” We have all heard that so many times in our lives.There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow.In reality,the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood.When your children are grumpy in the morning,you find a nice pile the dog left you over night,you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed,then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick...these are all things that might contribute to your overall happiness of the day.

2.However,moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness.Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile.That is happiness.You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed,then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels...YOUR ANGELS,sleeping so sweetly and soundly.You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them.That is happiness.

3.As life progresses and changes,we realize who we are,and know what we are,and know what we are responsible for.We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term.Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind.Our state of mind determines our happiness.

4.So,how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question.There are tons of books on or related to the subject.You could read and practice until you are completely confused.Or,we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy.Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more?

5.How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn’t like and set about making changes.It doesn’t have to be major alterations.Maybe you are tired of your house but can’t afford to move.Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table.If you haven’t had a vacation for awhile and just can’t afford to take that cruise,go camping instead.

6.Maybe the issues are more personal or internal.Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation.Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor.Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues,establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.

7.You may be saying,“Sure,that sounds so easy but...”Of course it sounds easy.Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them.But,for the most part,things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be.Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.

8.If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate.If,for example,money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon,find inexpensive entertainment.Backyard ballgames,picnics in the park,movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out.If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless,that is the time to seek professional help.

9.Otherwise,look in the mirror and be glad.If you don't like what you see,change it.Make the solution that simple!

1.“你是唯一能让自己幸福的人”。我们不止一次听到这句话,有时候我们认为它难以理解。现实生活中周围的人会给你的心情造成很大的影响。一大早孩子就耍脾气;狗狗昨晚把屋里搞得一团糟;上班的路上堵车;终于到了办公室,与你共事的同事却打电话请病假……这些事情都可能影响你这一天的幸福指数。

2.然而,幸福不同于心情和稍纵即逝的情绪。幸福是回顾自己生活时的会心微笑,因为知道会有这样的时刻:孩子们不愿按时睡觉,可是过会儿再去查看时,他们已经天使一般睡的很甜,他们是你的天使。此刻,你已经完全忘记刚才的愤怒。这就是幸福。

3.生命不息,变化不止。渐渐地,我们认清自己,了解自己,明白我们肩上的重担。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们的心境。

4.那么,如何控制情绪并找到通往幸福之路呢?这个问题极为重要。与此相关的书数不胜数。你读书,按照书中的指示练习,最终却越来越迷惑;在余下的日子里回味之前的生活,找出带给你幸福的元素,然而花费了更多的时间和精力,却愈感挫败。

5.我们不防试着这样,首先审视自我,找出自己的喜好,并据此做出改变。大刀阔斧地变革并无必要。比如,你不喜欢现在的房子却无力支付一个新房子,不妨重新粉刷卧室,或在餐桌上放瓶鲜花。再比如你很久没有度假,对于腐败旅游又囊中羞涩,那么去野营吧。

6.问题可能更私密或独特。易怒?学习瑜伽或静坐。婚姻不和谐?咨询顾问。孩子不听话?找出他们主要的问题,制定惩罚措施并严格执行。

7.你可能会说:“说起来容易,但是……”。当然,任何事情都是说起来容易做起来难。但是在很大程度上,你认为事情有多难,它就有多难。有时候,你夸大了问题的难度。

8.如果你的不幸源于你无法掌控的形势,寻找其他方法。如果手头非常紧,近期又不太可能有飞来横财的话,那就选择便宜一点的娱乐方式,比如在后院打球,在公园里野餐,躺在卧室里边看电影边吃爆米花和零食,偶尔晚上出去高消费一下。如果你的问题非常严重以至于感到浑身乏力、无计可施,赶紧去寻求帮助吧。

9.要不然,看着镜子里的自己微笑吧。如果不喜欢自己看到的,试着改变。解决问题就是这么简单!

Happiness Is Devotion幸福就是投入

1.Under the scorching sun,an old man sat by the bank staring at the buoy on the river.From dawn to dusk he still got nothing in his hands.However,the old man was happy at ease.I felt so puzzled about it.

2.The old man said with a smile,“I’m the fish and the fish is me,I’m fishing and I’m also being fished; like playing chess,the fish and I have such an equal stamina that I have a wonderful time.” At this point,an urchin threw a stone into the water.A circle of ripples wafted over.The old man said,“The wind rises.”

3.Life is a chess game while happiness is devotion.

1.烈日下,一老翁坐在岸边,两眼一动不动的盯着河面的浮标,从日出到日落,依然两手空空,老翁却怡然自得,乐在其中。我很是纳闷。

2.老翁笑着说:“我即鱼,鱼即我,我在钓鱼,鱼也在钓我,就像下棋,我和鱼的耐力旗鼓相当,这才过瘾。”一顽童向水中扔一块石头,一阵波纹飘荡过来,老翁曰:“起风了。”

3.人生就是一盘棋,而幸福就是投入。

Life Is a Cup of Coffee生活是杯咖啡

1.Group of alumni,highly established in their careers,got together to visit their old university professor.The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and in life.Offering his guests coffee,the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain,plastic,glass,crystal,some plain looking,some expensive,some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

2.When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand,the professor said,“If you noticed,all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up,leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves,that is the source of your problems and stress.

3.What all of you really wanted was coffee,not the cup,but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other’s cups.

4.Now consider this: Life is the coffee and the jobs,money and position in society are the cups.They are just tools to hold and contain Life,and do not change the quality of Life.Sometimes,by concentrating only on the cup,we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided.So,don’t let the cups drive you ...enjoy the coffee instead.”

1.一群毕业生,各自的事业都已有所建树,相约一起去看望他们的大学教授。谈话一会儿就变成了各自对工作生活压力的抱怨。教授去厨房端来一大壶咖啡招待这些客人,拿出各式各样的咖啡杯--陶瓷的、塑料的、玻璃的、水晶的,有普通的、有价值不菲的、有做工精致的--让他们自己挑。

2.当所有学生手中都拿了咖啡杯之后,教授发话了:“如果你们注意一下,就可以发现所有好看的贵的杯子都给挑走了,剩下的只是那些普通的和便宜的。当然,每个人都想给自己挑到那个最好的,这很正常,但这也正是你们的问题和压力根源之所在。

3.其实你们真正想要的是咖啡,而不是杯子,但你们却又都下意识去挑选最好的杯子,并观察别人拿到的杯子。

4.试想:如果生活是杯中的咖啡,工作、财富和社会地位就是那些杯子。它们只是维持生活的工具而已,并不改变生活质量。有时候,我们在过于关注杯子的同时却忘了去品味上帝赐予的咖啡。所以,不要成为杯子的奴隶……好好地享受品味杯中的咖啡。”

Happiness Is a Journey幸福是一段旅程

1.For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin real life.

2.But,there was always some obstacle in the way,something to be gotten through first,some unfinished business,time still to be served or a debt to be paid.Then life would begin.

3.At last it dawned on me that there is no way to happiness.Happiness is the way.

4.So treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you share it with someone special,someone special enough to spend your time with.

5.Make the most of your time.Don’t waste too much of your time studying,working,or stressing about something that seems important.

6.Do what you want to do to be happy but also do what you can to make the people you care about happy.Remember that time waits for no one.

7.So stop waiting until you take your last test,until you finish school,until you go back to school,until you have the perfect body,the perfect car,or whatever other perfect thing you desire.

8.Stop waiting until the weekend,when you can party or let loose,until summer,spring,fall or winter,until you find the right person and get married,until you die,until your born again,to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

9.Happiness is a journey,not a destination.

10.So love like you have never been hurt,work like you don’t need the money,and dance like no one’s watching.

1.很长一段时间我总觉得生命慎始。

2.但是得时无待,时不再来。生命无关途中际遇,兀自向前。

3.到底明白,幸福不在终点,幸福就是此生此路。

4.珍视每一寸光阴,珍视每一个共同度过的人。相信同伴就是一种珍贵。

5.惜时如金,莫要浪费挥霍。

6.时不我待,请怀着幸福感认真地为人处事。

7.完成人生必经的学业、事业的历程,所有欲求,都在实践。

8.明白幸福不在眼前,幸福就在脚下。何必等待“更好”的下一次,一切幸福都“正好”在此时。

9.幸福不在彼岸,幸福就是一种度过。

10.去爱吧,就像从没有受伤过。起舞吧,从心所愿。

Happiness Indicators in Various Stages of Life人生各年龄层幸福感指标

1.The ups and downs of life may seem to have no predictable plan.But scientists now know there are very definite patterns that almost all people share.Even if you’ve passed some of your “prime”,you still have other prime years to experience in the future.Certain important primes seem to peak later in life.

2.When are you smartest? From 18-25,according to I.Q.scores; but you’re wiser and more experienced with increasing age.

3.You’re sharpest in your 20’s; around 30,memory begins to decline,particularly your ability to perform mathematical computations.But your I.Q.for other tasks climbs.Your vocabulary at age 45,for example is three times as great as when you graduated from college.At 60,your brain possesses almost four times as much information as it did at age 21.This trade-off between sharpness and wisdom has led psychologists to suggest that “maturity quotients” (M.Q.) be adopted for adults.

4.When are you happiest? You have the best physical sense of yourself from 15to 24; the best professional sense from 40 to 49.

5.Before age 24,we believe that our happiest years are yet to come; over30,we believe that they’re behind us.A National Health Survey agrees: After age 30,we “become more realistic and do not view happiness as a goal in itself.If we maintain our health,achieve professional and emotional goals,and then happiness,we feel,will follow”.

6.When are you most creative? Generally between 30and 39,but the peak varies with different professions.

7.Mozart wrote a symphony and four sonatas by age eight,and Mendelssohn composed his best known work A Midsummer Night’s Dream,at 17,but most of the great music was written by men between 33and 39.Though the peak in most fields comes early-most Nobel Prize winners did their top research in their late 20’s and 30’s-creative people continue to produce quality work throughout their lives.For the “well-conditioned mind”,there is no upper limit.

1.人生的起伏似乎没有可预知的模式,但是科学家现在发现有一些模式相当明确,绝大多数人都有不例外。即使你度过了一些最佳时期,你仍然会在将来经历另外几个最佳时期。某些最佳期时期似乎在生命的后半段才会到来。

2.什么时候你最聪明?根据智商得分,你从15岁至25岁最聪明。然而,随着年龄增长,你更加具有智慧和经验。

3.20多岁的时候你的思维最敏捷;30岁左右,记忆力开始衰退,尤其是你的数学计算能力。然而,你做其他事情的智商提高了。例如45岁时你的词汇量是你刚从大学毕业时的3倍。60岁时你大脑中储存的信息几乎是你21岁时的4倍。敏锐和智慧之间的协调,心理学家们就此提出了在成年人中采用“成熟商”这一概念。

4.什么时候你的感觉最好?15岁至24岁之间你的身体感觉最好;40岁至49岁之间你对自己的职业感觉最佳。

5.24岁之前,我们相信自己最快乐的日子尚未到来;过了30岁,我们就认为最快乐的时光已逝去。一项全国性的健康调查也提示了同样的结果:30岁过后,我们变得更加实际,不把幸福当成生命本身的一种目标。我们认为,只要我们保持健康,事业上、情感上称心如意,那么我们就觉得幸福便会随之而来。

6.什么时候你最富创造力?一般在30岁至39岁之间。但是不同的职业,高峰期也不相同。

7.莫扎特8岁时就创作了一部交响曲、4首奏鸣曲;门德尔松17岁时就完成了他的最著名的作品《仲夏夜之梦》,但是大部分伟大的音乐作品都是人们在33岁至39岁之间创作出来的。虽然大多数领域的最佳状态来得比较早--大多数诺贝尔奖获得者都是25岁以后、30多岁时完成他们最出色的研究的--但是创造型的人会在生命中不断地完成高质量的工作。对于“状态良好的大脑”,不存在极限。 GL774kvO4Iiv5Fmo66VyS2CHEEaSS2rwn4fsLarUfvF1Vy+Ny0f4eivruXrsAvUN

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