第3章

This story is just a metaphor for the rest of us in our lives. Over time, what do we just get used to and learn to accept that keeps us limited in how we see things? What in our lives has become routine to a point that we have lost our sense of wonder in this world?

When dealing with a myriad of mental health conditions (e.g. stress, anxiety, depression, or addiction), we get stuck in routine ways of reacting to things. A challenge may arise and the automatic reaction is “who cares, I’ll never succeed anyway.” As we become accustomed to this, it can be likened to unknowingly walking around with crooked posture. Once we become aware of it, we can begin the process of straightening ourselves out.

It’s a worthy question to explore: What do you notice in your life that’s routine?

Do you watch TV every night? Do you take the same route to work every day? If you are in a relationship, do you sleep on the same side of the bed night after night or does only one of you cook the meals or clean? Do you often shoot down new ideas? Do you react to stress or pain with routine avoidance? Is this routine taking away the wonder in everyday life?

To do: Pick one thing from your “routine list” and choose to begin becoming aware of it and switching it up.

Self Motivation-How to Motivate Yourself

成功动力--自我激励的6种技巧

1. Have a cause

I can’t think of a more powerful source of motivation than a cause you care about. Such cause can inspire you to give your best even in the face of difficulties. It can make you do the seemingly impossible things.

While other causes could inspire you temporarily, a cause that matters to you can inspire you indefinitely. It’s a spring of motivation that will never dry. Whenever you think that you run out of motivation, you can always come to your cause to get a fresh dose of motivation.

2. Have a dream. A big dream

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”

--Karen Ravn

Your cause is a powerful source of motivation but it’s still abstract in nature. You need to make it concrete in the form of a dream. Imagine how the world will be in the future. Imagine how people will live and work.

Having a dream is important because it’s difficult to be motivated if you don’t have anything to shoot for. Just think about people who play basketball. Will they be motivated to play if there is no basket to aim at? I don’t think so. They need a goal. You need a goal. That’s what your dream is for.

But just having a dream is insufficient. Your dream must be big enough to inspire you. It must be realistic but challenging. It must stretch your ability beyond your comfort zone.

3. Be hungry

“‘Wanting’ something is not enough. You must hunger for it. Your motivation must be absolutely compelling in order to overcome the obstacles that will invariably come your way.”

--Les Brown

To be truly motivated, you need to have hunger and not just desire. Having mere desire won’t take you through difficult times since you don’t want things badly enough. In many cases, hunger makes the difference between the best performers and the mediocre ones.

How can you have hunger? Your cause and your dream play a big role here. If you have a cause you care about and a big dream related to it, you should have the hunger inside of you. If you think that you are losing hunger, all you need to do is to connect again to your cause and dream. Let them inspire you and bring the hunger back.

4. Run your own race

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself. ”

--Mikhail Baryshnikov

Comparing yourself with others is an effective way to demotivate yourself. Even if you start with enthusiasm, you will soon lose your energy when you compare yourself with others.

Don’t let that happen to you. You have your own race so how other people perform is irrelevant. Comparing yourself with others is like comparing the performance of a swimmer with a runner using the same time standard. They are different so how can you compare one with the other?

The only competitor you have is yourself. The only one you need to beat is you. Have you become the best you can be?

5. Take one more step

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

--Winston Churchill

When you meet obstacles along the way, there could be the tendency to quit. You may think that it’s too difficult to move on. You may think that your dream is impossible to achieve. But this is where you can see the difference between winners and losers. Though both of them face the same difficulties, there is one thing that makes the winners different: the courage to continue.

In difficult situations, just focus on taking one more step forward. Don’t think about how to complete the race. Don’t think about how many more obstacles are waiting for you. Just focus on taking the next step.

6. Let go of the past

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believe it or not, one of the best demotivators is your past. Your past can drag you down before you realize it. Your past can give you a heavy burden on your shoulders.

The good news is it’s a burden you don’t have to carry. Take it off your shoulders and leave it. You might make mistakes in the past. You might disappoint others with what you did. But it’s over. It’s already in the past and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Today is a new day and you have the chance to start again. No matter how bad your past might be, you still have a bright future ahead waiting for you. Just don’t let the burden of the past stop you.

If It a Good Idea...Don Do It

如果事情只是个好主意

--别去做

For a long time, I’ve held the belief that if something is a good idea, it’s worth doing.

Now, I completely reject that notion.

I just can’t operate that way anymore. I know better and my brain can’t be fooled.

In 2007 Tim Ferriss coined the term “work for work’s sake”. Since then, something worse has emerged: “improving for improvement’s sake.” (Honestly, this conundrum has probably been around for centuries. I just came up with it now because I desperately want to coin a phrase of my own, so I can be cool, too.) In other words: “improving for improvement’s sake” is doing something just because it’s a “good idea”.

Yeah, I’ve been there, and what is neatly packaged as a “good idea” is often OCD and egotism in disguise.

It’s at that point where passion is ransacked and Ego reigns king of the hill.

There are many instances where passion can turn into just a good idea...

1.Passions turns into obsession. When I first started learning Jeet Kune Do, I was incredibly excited. I’ve wanted to study martial arts since I first saw The Karate Kid at the ripe age of seven. So when I was presented the opportunity to learn the style of martial arts that Bruce Lee formed, I could barely contain my excitement (and, I’ll be honest, my nervousness at the thought of possibly sucking really bad). But when my ego got hold of me, it became hard to practice just because I felt I should; just because it was a “good idea”. In other words: I forgot about my passion and started aiming to improve simply for the sake of improvement.

2.Your love becomes your job. This seems like the most backward thing, right? I mean, in the beginning we complain that we don’t have enough time to do what we really care about, but when we’re presented the opportunity to make money from it, it becomes a turnoff. At first, it might seem exhilarating and thrilling for the chance to do what we love for a living. But after a while, that excitement tends to wear off and it becomes a chore. It’s a must instead of a fun option kind of thing. (A little later in this article we’ll get into why this happens and how to can get out of it.)

3.You mistake avoidance for apathy. We often think that because we’re avoiding doing what we love, it must not matter enough to us. Of course it matters! That very avoidance and fear is a sign that it does matter. But it’s hard not to let that fear discourage you and lead you to believe that because you’re avoiding it, you must not want it bad enough. If you let that happen, you forfeit your passion and the worst happens... It turns into just a good idea.

What’s happening here is one of two things: A. Your passion is getting stifled somewhere along the way, or B. You’ve simply lost interest.

If the latter is the case and you’re supposed true love (with your new career pursuit, or whatever it may be), was simply infatuation, then you can safely let it go. There’s no point in clinging to goals that no longer serve you.