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第五章
There is a climax to everything-to every state of feeling as well as to every position in life. I turned this truism over in my mind as, in the frosty dawn of a January morning, I hurried down the steep and now icy street which descended from Mrs. King's to the Close. The factory workpeople had preceded me by nearly an hour, and the mill was all lighted up and in full operation when I reached it. I repaired to my post in the counting-house as usual. The fire there, but just lit, as yet only smoked; Steighton was not yet arrived. I shut the door and sat down at the desk; my hands, recently washed in half-frozen water, were still numb; I could not write till they had regained vitality, so I went on thinking, and still the theme of my thoughts was the 'climax. ' Self-dissatisfaction troubled exceedingly the current of my meditations.
任何事情都有一个极点--无论是每种感情状态还是每种生活处境都是如此。在一月份的这个结霜的破晓，我匆忙冲下那陡峭的、现在还结着冰的街道，从金太太的公寓赶向大院，一路上反复思考着这个老套的道理。工厂的工人比我早来了快一个小时；当我到达工厂时，厂里已经灯火通明，全面生产。我如同往常一样走到自己在账房的岗位上。火已经有了，但是刚刚才生着，因为此时还只是冒着烟；斯泰格顿还没来。我关上门，坐在办公桌前；我的手刚刚用半冰着的水洗过，仍然是冻僵的；我得等到它们恢复知觉了才能写字，于是，我继续思考，思考的主题仍然是 “极点” 问题。自我不满的情绪极度地扰乱着我目前的沉思。
'Come, William Crimsworth, ' said my conscience, or whatever it is that within ourselves takes ourselves to task- 'come, get a clear notion of what you would have, or what you would not have. You talk of a climax; pray, has your endurance reached its climax? It is not four months old. What a fine resolute fellow you imagined yourself to be when you told Tynedale you would tread in your father's steps, and a pretty treading you are likely to make of it. How well you like X-! Just at this moment how redolent of pleasant associations are its streets, its shops, its warehouses, its factories! How the prospect of this day cheers you! Letter-copying till noon, solitary dinner at your lodgings, letter-copying till evening, solitude; for you neither find pleasure in Brown's, nor Smith's, nor Nicholl's, nor Eccle's company. And as to Hunsden, you fancied there was pleasure to be derived from his society-he! he! How did you like the taste you had of him last night? Was it sweet? Yet he is a talented, an original-minded man, and even he does not like you. Your self-respect defies you to like him. He has always seen you to disadvantage; he always will see you to disadvantage; your positions are unequal, and were they on the same level your minds could not assimilate. Never hope, then, to gather the honey of friendship out of that thorn-guarded plant. Hallo, Crimsworth! Where are your thoughts tending? You leave the recollection of Hunsden as a bee would a rock, as a bird a desert, and your aspirations spread eager wings towards a land of visions where, now in advancing daylight in X-daylight-you dare to dream of congeniality, repose, union. Those three you will never meet in this world; they are angels. The souls of just men made perfect may encounter them in heaven, but your soul will never be made perfect. Eight o'clock strikes! Your hands are thawed; get to work! '
“哎，威廉·克里姆斯沃斯，” 我的良知或者说是那个我们内心里总斥责我们的东西说-- “哎，弄清楚你能忍受什么，或者不能忍受什么。你提到一个极限；试问，你的忍耐已经达到极限了吗？还没到四个月。你告诉泰尼德尔你要步父亲的后尘时，你以为自己将是个很有决心的家伙，还觉得自己很有可能会因此前程似锦。你多么喜欢X镇啊！就是现在，你想起它的街道，它的商店，它的货栈，它的工厂，浮现的都是多么美好的联想啊！展望一下今天，你又多么振奋啊！从早上到中午抄写信件，然后孤身一人在寄宿宿舍里吃午饭，然后又从中午到晚上抄写信件，孤独一人；因为无论是和布朗还是史密斯，尼科尔或者埃克尔在一起，你都觉得索然无味。至于亨斯登，你本以为和他在一起会有趣些--可他呀！他那个人呀！你昨晚见识过他了，滋味如何啊？讨人喜欢吗？但他是个有才能、有想法的人，就连他都不喜欢你。你的自尊心又不能容忍你喜欢他。他总是看扁你；他也会一直看扁你；你们地位不平等，即使地位平等，你们的想法也无法达到共识。所以就别指望从那棵长满刺的植物身上采集友谊之蜜了。喂，克里姆斯沃斯！你的思绪飞到哪儿去了？你赶快抛弃关于亨斯顿的回忆吧，就像蜜蜂忘记岩石，鸟儿忘记沙漠一样，你的抱负就会展开热切的翅膀飞向一片梦幻的之境，此时在即将天亮的X镇，天亮了--你还敢于梦想着与周围的人意气相投、相依相靠、和睦相处。这三点你在这个世界上永远不会遇见；它们是天使。正直而尽善尽美的人的灵魂也许能在天堂碰见它们，但是你的灵魂永远也不会完美无瑕。八点的钟声都敲响了！你的手也暖和了；去工作吧！”
'Work! Why should I work? ' said I sullenly. 'I cannot please though I toil like a slave. ' 'Work, work! ' reiterated the inward voice. 'I may work; it will do no good, ' I growled; but nevertheless I drew out a packet of letters and commenced my task-task thankless and bitter as that of the Israelite crawling over the sun-baked fields of Egypt in search of straw and stubble wherewith to accomplish his tale of bricks.
“工作！为什么我要工作？” 我不高兴地说。 “即使我像奴隶一样辛苦工作也无法讨好别人。” “工作，工作！” 内心的声音重申道。 “我可以工作；但是这没用，” 我咆哮道；不管怎样我还是取出一包信函，开始我的工作--一种吃力不讨好的、痛苦的工作，就像那以色列人在被太阳烘烤的埃及田野上爬行着寻找干草和断株以完成他们的烧砖任务。
About ten o'clock I heard Mr. Crimsworth's gig turn into the yard, and in a minute or two he entered the counting-house. It was his custom to glance his eye at Steighton and myself, to hang up his mackintosh, stand a minute with his back to the fire, and then walk out. Today he did not deviate from his usual habits; the only difference was that when he looked at me his brow, instead of being merely hard, was surly; his eye, instead of being cold, was fierce. He studied me a minute or two longer than usual, but went out in silence.
十点左右我听见克里姆斯沃斯的马车拐进了庭院里，一两分钟后他便走进了账房。他的习惯就是先瞥一眼斯泰格顿和我，挂上他的雨衣，背对着火炉站一会儿，然后走出去。今天他没有改变他的习惯；唯一的不同在于当他看我时，他的表情并不只是严厉的，而是粗暴的；他的眼神不是冷酷的，而是凶恶的。他比平常多注视了我几分钟，但还是没有说话就走了出去。
Twelve o'clock arrived; the bell rang for a suspension of labour. The workpeople went off to their dinners; Steighton too departed, desiring me to lock the counting-house door and take the key with me. I was tying up a bundle of papers and putting them in their place, preparatory to closing my desk, when Crimsworth reappeared at the door, and entering, closed it behind him.
十二点到了；响起了下班的铃声。工人们都出去吃饭了；斯泰格顿也离开了，他让我锁好账房的门并让我随身带上钥匙。我正在把信件系成一捆并将它们归位，准备合上我的办公桌抽屉时，克里姆斯沃斯再次出现在门口，他走进来，随手关上了门。
'You'll stay here a minute, ' said he, in a deep, brutal voice, while his nostrils distended and his eye shot a spark of sinister fire.
“你留下来会儿，” 他低沉而野蛮地说，同时他的鼻孔放大，眼睛里透出凶恶的火星。
Alone with Edward I remembered our relationship, and remembering that forgot the difference of position. I put away deference and careful forms of speech; I answered with simple brevity.
和爱德华单独在一起使我记起了我们的关系，同时也就忘记了我们地位的差别。我收起了对他的顺从，也没有慎重选择言辞；只是简短地回答了他。
'It is time to go home, ' I said, turning the key in my desk.
“该回家了。” 我边说边转动桌上的钥匙。
'You'll stay here, ' he reiterated. 'And take your hand off that key! Leave it in the lock! '
“你给我留下。” 他重复道， “放下你手中的钥匙！让它留在锁孔里！”
'Why? ' asked I. 'What cause is there for changing my usual plans? '
“为什么？” 我问道， “有什么理由可以改变我惯常的安排？”
'Do as I order, ' was the answer, 'and no questions! You are my servant; obey me! What have you been about-' He was going on in the same breath, when an abrupt pause announced that rage had for the moment got the better of articulation.
“按我说的做，” 他这样回答， “不要多问！你是我的仆人；你就得听我的话！你都干了些什么事--” 他本准备一口气说完，但是突然的停顿说明此刻他愤怒得话都说不出来了。
'You may look if you wish to know, ' I replied. 'There is the open desk, there are the papers. '
“你要是想知道你可以看的，” 我回答道。 “桌子是开的，文件都在里面。”
'Confound your insolence! What have you been about? '
“大胆！你都干了些什么事？”
'Your work, and have done it well. '
“干了你交待的工作，并且干得不错。”
'Hypocrite and twaddler! smooth-faced, snivelling grease-horn! ' (This last term is, I believe, purely-shire, and alludes to the horn of black, rancid whale-oil usually to be seen suspended to cart wheels, and employed for greasing the same. )
“伪君子！胡说八道！假惺惺的，装可怜的油脂角！” （最后一个词，我相信，纯粹是某个郡的方言，指的是装着黑乎乎的腥臭鲸鱼油的牛角，常被系在车轮上，用来给车轮润滑。）
'Come, Edward Crimsworth, enough of this. It is time you and I wound up accounts. I have now given your service three months't rial, and I find it the most nauseous slavery under the sun. Seek another clerk. I stay no longer. '
“算了吧，爱德华·克里姆斯沃斯，够了吧。我们是时候来算算帐了。我已经经过了你三个月的试用期，我发现这是天底下最恶心的奴隶制度了。你另寻职工吧。我不干了。”
'What! Do you dare to give me notice? Stop at least for your wages. ' He took down the heavy gig-whip hanging beside his mackintosh.
“什么！你胆敢向我辞职？看在工资的份上你还是别闹了。” 他拿下了那根挂在雨衣旁边的重重的马鞭子。
I permitted myself to laugh with a degree of scorn I took no pains to temper or hide. His fury boiled up, and when he had sworn half a dozen vulgar, impious oaths, without, however, venturing to lift the whip, he continued, -
我毫不压抑自己也毫不掩饰地带着几分轻蔑的神情笑了笑。他这下气急败坏，对我破口大骂了五六句粗俗无礼的话之后，还是没敢举起鞭子，又继续说道--
'I've found you out and know you thoroughly, you mean whining lickspittle! What have you been saying all over X-about me? Answer me that. '
“我已经认清你并且看透你了，你这个卑鄙无耻，满腹牢骚、阿谀奉承之徒！你在X镇都说我什么了？回答我。”
'You? I have neither inclination nor temptation to talk about you. '
“你？我可是既不想又没兴趣去对你说三道四。”
'You lie! It is your practice to talk about me; it is your constant habit to make public complaint of the treatment you receive at my hands. You have gone and told it far and near that I give you low wages and knock you about like a dog. I wish you were a dog! I'd set to this minute, and never stir from the spot till I'd cut every strip of flesh from your bones with thus whip. '
“你说谎！说我坏话是你的老把戏；你一向喜欢在公众场合抱怨你在我这边受到的待遇。你四处传播，说我给你工资低，说我像对狗一样粗鲁对待你。我倒情愿你是条狗！我现在就要动手，就在这里，非要用这条鞭子把你骨头上的一块块肉给抽下来不可。”
He flourished his tool. The end of the lash just touched my forehead. A warm, excited thrill ran through my veins; my blood seemed to give a bound, and then raced fast and hot along its channels. I got up nimbly, came round to where he stood, and faced him.
他挥舞起他的鞭子。鞭尾刚好碰到我的前额。一股强烈的激愤之情涌过我的血管；我的血液似乎沸腾了，随后沿着血管迅速而又火辣辣地游遍全身。我快速站了起来，走到他站的地方，面对面地看着他。
'Down with your whip, ' said I, 'and explain this instant what you mean! '
“放下你的鞭子，” 我说， “你想怎样，现在直说吧！”
'Sirrah! To whom are you speaking? '
“臭小子！你现在在对谁说话？”
'To you. There is no one else present, I think. You say I have been calumniating you-complaining of your low wages and bad treatment. Give your grounds for these assertions. '
“对你。我想这里也没有其他人在场了。你说我一直在恶意中伤你--抱怨你给的工资低，待遇差。你拿出说这些话的证据来。”
Crimsworth had no dignity, and when I sternly demanded an explanation, he gave one in a loud, scolding voice.
克里姆斯沃斯根本没有尊严，当我坚决要求他给我一个说法时，他只会用斥责的语气大叫。
'Grounds! You shall have them; and turn to the light that I may see your brazen face blush black when you hear yourself proved to be a liar and a hypocrite. At a public meeting in the Town Hall yesterday I had the pleasure of hearing myself insulted by the speaker opposed to me in the question under discussion, by allusions to my private affairs-by cant about monsters without natural affection, family despots, and such trash; and when I rose to answer, I was met by a shout from the filthy mob, where the mention of your name enabled me at once to detect the quarter in which this base attack had originated. When I looked round, I saw that treacherous villain Hunsden acting as fugleman. I detected you in close conversation with Hunsden at my house a month ago, and I know that you were at Hunsden's rooms last night. Deny it if you dare. '
“证据！你会看到证据的；你转向亮光，这样当我拿出你是骗子、伪君子的证据时，我就可以看见你的厚脸皮会因羞愧而脸红。昨天在镇务厅的公开会议上，我有幸在讨论时听到反对我的人侮辱了我，还隐射了我的私事--乱说什么我是没有人性的恶魔、家庭的暴君等诸如此类的废话；当我站起来反驳时，那一群乌合之众朝我大喊大叫，他们还提及了你，我一下就明白了这恶劣的人身攻击究竟缘何而起。我四处张望，看见了那个阴险的恶棍亨斯登，他正是始作俑者。我查到一个月之前你在我家里和亨斯登详谈过一次，我还知道你昨晚去亨斯登家里了。你要是敢否认试试看。”
'Oh, I shall not deny it! And if Hunsden hounded on the people to hiss you, he did quite right. You deserve popular execration; for a worse man, a harder master, a more brutal brother than you are has seldom existed. '
“哦，我不会否认的！如果亨斯登唆使其他人说你的是非，那他做得很好。你就活该臭名远扬；因为在世上很少有比你更坏的人、更刻薄的老板、更野蛮的哥哥了。”
'Sirrah! sirrah! ' reiterated Crimsworth; and to complete his apostrophe he cracked the whip straight over my head.
“臭小子！臭小子！” 克里姆斯沃斯反复骂道；为了补充他后面省略的话，他 “啪” 地一鞭朝我头上径直甩来。
A minute sufficed to wrest it from him, break it in two pieces, and throw it under the grate. He made a headlong rush at me, which I evaded, and said, -
仅用一分钟我就从他手里抢过鞭子，把它折成两段，扔到了炉排下面。他朝我一头撞来，我躲开了，说道--
'Touch me, and I'll have you up before the nearest magistrate. '
“你要是碰我，我就到最近的地方法官那儿起诉你。”
Men like Crimsworth, if firmly and calmly resisted, always abate something of their exorbitant insolence. He had no mind to be brought before a magistrate, and I suppose he saw I meant what I said. After an odd and long stare at me, at once bull-like and amazed, he seemed to bethink himself that, after all, his money gave him sufficient superiority over a beggar like me, and that he had in his hands a surer and more dignified mode of revenge than the somewhat hazardous one of personal chastisement.
像克里姆斯沃斯这种人，只要碰上坚定而冷静的反抗，傲慢气焰总是会减弱不少。他可不想去地方法官那边，而且我想他看出了我说一不二。他用奇怪的眼光瞪了我很长一段时间，愤怒不已，同时又有些吃惊；他似乎考虑到毕竟他的金钱足以使他胜过我这个乞丐一样的人一筹，而且他手上有一张比多少有点危险的人身攻击更保险并且能更体面地报复我的底牌。
'Take your hat, ' said he. 'Take what belongs to you, and go out at that door. Get away to your parish, you pauper. Beg, steal, starve, get transported, do what you like, but at your peril venture again into my sight. If ever I hear of your setting foot on an inch of ground belonging to me, I'll hire a man to cane you. '
“拿起你的帽子，” 他说， “拿上属于你的东西，滚出这个门。滚回到你自己的教区去，你个穷鬼。你去讨饭、去偷窃、去挨饿、去流浪，你要做什么都随你的便，但是如果你胆敢再进入我的眼界，后果自负。如果我听说你踏入我的地盘一步，我就雇人给你一顿好打。”
'It is not likely you'll have the chance. Once off your premises, what temptation can I have to return to them? I leave a prison; I leave a tyrant; I leave what is worse than the worst that can lie before me, so no fear of my coming back. '
“你不可能有那样的机会的。一旦离开了你的地盘，你指望还有什么诱惑能把我吸引回来吗？我离开了一座监狱；我离开了一个暴君；我离开了一个我见过的坏到极致的东西，所以你不用担心我会回来。”
'Go, or I'll make you! ' exclaimed Crimsworth.
“滚，否则我要赶你走了！” 克里姆斯沃斯大声叫嚷道。
I walked deliberately to my desk, took out such of its contents as were my own property, put them in my pocket, locked the desk, and placed the key on the top.
我从容不迫地走回自己的办公桌，从抽屉里拿出我自己的东西放到口袋里，然后锁上抽屉，把钥匙放在了桌子上。
'What are you abstracting from that desk? ' demanded the mill-owner. 'Leave all behind in its place, or I'll send for a policeman to search you. '
“你从抽屉里拿了什么东西？” 工厂老板问道。 “把它们都放回去，不然我就要警察来搜你的身了。”
'Look sharp about it then, ' said I; and I took down my hat, drew on my gloves, and walked leisurely out of the counting-house-walked out of it to enter it no more.
“那你得赶紧了，” 我说道，然后我取下帽子，戴上手套，悠闲地走出了账房--走出去就不会再回来了。
I recollect that when the mill-bell rang the dinner hour, before Mr. Crimsworth entered and the scene above related took place, I had had rather a sharp appetite, and had been waiting somewhat impatiently to hear the signal of feeding time. I forgot it now, however. The images of potatoes and roast mutton were effaced from my mind by the stir and tumult which the transaction of the last half-hour had there excited. I only thought of walking, that the action of my muscles might harmonize with the action of my nerves. and walk I did, fast and far. How could I do otherwise? A load was lifted off my heart; I felt light and liberated. I had got away from Bigben Close without a breach of resolution, without injury to my self-respect. I had not forced circumstances; circumstances had freed me. Life was again open to me; no longer was its horizon limited by the high black wall surrounding Crimsworth's mill. Two hours had elapsed before my sensations had so far subsided as to leave me calm enough to remark for what wider and clearer boundaries I had exchanged that sooty girdle. When I did look up, look! Straight before me lay Grovetown, a village of villas about five miles out of X-. The short winter day, as I perceived from the far-declined sun, was already approaching its close; a chill frost-mist was rising from the river on which X-stands, and along whose banks the road I had taken lay; it dimmed the earth, but did not obscure the clear icy blue of the January sky. There was a great stillness near and far; the time of the day favoured tranquillity, as the people were all employed within doors, the hour of evening release from the factories not being yet arrived. A sound of full-flowing water alone pervaded the air, for the river was deep and abundant, swelled by the melting of a late snow. I stood awhile, leaning over a wall, and looking down at the current I watched the rapid rush of its waves. I desired memory to take a clear and permanent impression of the scene, and treasure it for future years. Grovetown church clock struck four. Looking up, I beheld the last of that day's sun, glinting red through the leafless boughs of some very old oak trees surrounding the church; its light coloured and characterized the picture as I wished. I paused yet a moment, till the sweet, slow sound of the bell had quite died out of the air; then car, eye, and feeling satisfied, I quitted the wall and once more turned my face towards X-.
我想起来当工厂午饭铃声响起，克里姆斯沃斯先生进账房前，也就是以上事情发生之前，我饿得发慌，一直在急切地等着吃饭的信号。然而现在我已经忘却了饥饿。脑子里土豆和烤羊肉的形象已经被半小时之前的激动和吵闹抹去了。我只想着走路，这样或许我的肌肉行为能与我的神经活动相协调。我一直快速地走着，走得很远。不然我又能怎样？一个重荷从我心头移去；我感到轻松而无拘束。我不假思索地走出了比格本大院，自尊心丝毫没有受到损害。我并没有刻意去创造条件；我的自由来得水到渠成。生活之门又向我敞开；生活的地平线不再受到克里姆斯沃斯工厂周围那黑色高墙的限制了。两个小时过去了，我内心的激动之情才平息下来，我平静地思考，离开那个煤烟熏黑的小地方，我换来了更广阔而又更清晰的天地。我抬头看了看，瞧！我的正前方就是格罗夫镇，那是一个离X镇大概五英里的别墅村。从那西沉的太阳可以看出短暂的冬日已经接近尾声；一团刺骨的霜雾从X镇的河面上冉冉升起，河边便是我走过的小路；霜雾使得大地一片朦胧昏暗，但是无法掩盖一月那清晰冰冷而蔚蓝的天空。四周一片寂静；此刻人们尽可享受着宁静的时光，因为还没到厂里下班的时间，工人们都还在屋里工作。空气中只有哗哗的流水声，因为最近下了一场雪，雪融化后流进河里，使得河水又深又满。我倚在墙上站了一会儿，低头看那水流，注视着它汹涌的波浪。我想清楚而永久地铭记这一情景，好把它珍藏在将来的岁月里。格罗夫镇教堂的钟敲了四下。我抬头看了看那天最后的太阳，它闪烁着红光射过教堂周围古老橡树的光秃秃的树枝；那日光仿佛变了颜色，呈现出我想看的那幅图景。我驻足了一会儿，直到那美妙而缓慢的钟声完全消失在空气之中；此时我的耳朵、眼睛以及情感全都得到了满足；然后我从墙边走开，再次将脸转向了X镇。