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The Story of the Young Italian
I was born at Naples. My parents, though of noble rank, were limited in fortune, or rather my father was ostentatious beyond his means, and expended so much in his palace, his equipage, and his retinue, that he was continually straitened in his pecuniary circumstances. I was a younger son, and looked upon with indifference by my father, who, from a principle of family pride, wished to leave all his property to my elder brother.
我出生于那不勒斯。我父母虽然有贵族头衔，财富却很有限，追根究底可以说是因为我父亲喜好奢华，在宅邸、车乘和仆从方面总是很铺张，致使家里经常入不敷出，经济拮据。我是家中的小儿子，在父亲眼中我无足轻重，他出于家族尊严要把所有财产传给我的哥哥。
I showed, when quite a child, an extreme sensibility. Every thing affected me violently. While yet an infant in my mother's arms, and before I had learnt to talk, I could be wrought upon to a wonderful degree of anguish or delight by the power of music. As I grew older my feelings remained equally acute, and I was easily transported into paroxysms of pleasure or rage. It was the amusement of my relatives and of the domestics to play upon this irritable temperament. I was moved to tears, tickled to laughter, provoked to fury, for the entertainment of company, who were amused by such a tempest of mighty passion in a pigmy frame. They little thought, or perhaps little heeded the dangerous sensibilities they were fostering. I thus became a little creature of passion, before reason was developed. In a short time I grew too old to be a plaything, and then I became a torment. The tricks and passions I had been teased into became irksome, and I was disliked by my teachers for the very lessons they had taught me.
我在很小的时候就显现出一种极端的敏感性。任何事物都对我影响至深。当我还是母亲怀中牙牙学语的婴儿时，我就会受到音乐的感召而烦闷或欣喜，达到了一种奇妙的境界。随着渐渐长大，我依然感觉敏锐，我极易冲动，时而欣喜若狂，时而怒不可遏。亲戚和家仆们都喜欢以逗弄我这易冲动的脾气为乐。我时常被弄哭，被逗笑，被激怒，因为那些人以此为乐，喜欢看这么个小不点儿发那么大的脾气。可能他们很少想到或注意到他们正在培养着我这种危险的敏感性。因此在理性还没发展之前，我就成了个小小的感情用事的人。很快我就长大了，不再是他们的乐子了，并且变得很烦人。因为常被逗弄，我学会了恶作剧和乱发脾气，让人很讨厌，我的启蒙老师们也正是因为他们所教我的东西而不喜欢我。
My mother died; and my power as a spoiled child was at an end. There was no longer any necessity to humor or tolerate me, for there was nothing to be gained by it, as I was no favorite of my father. I therefore experienced the fate of a spoiled child in such situation, and was neglected or noticed only to be crossed and contradicted. Such was the early treatment of a heart, which, if I am judge of it at all, was naturally disposed to the extremes of tenderness and affection.
母亲去世了，我因此而失去了被娇生惯养的权力。人们用不着再迁就、容忍我，那样做他们得不到任何好处，因为我父亲并不喜欢我。因此，我体验到这种境况下一个被宠坏了的孩子的命运，没有人理我，即使有人理，他们也只是为了折磨我，跟我过不去。这就是一颗幼小心灵的早期遭遇，若现在让我来评判的话，正是这种遭遇使我自然而然地走向脆弱和感情用事的极端。
My father, as I have already said, never liked me—in fact, he never understood me; he looked upon me as wilful and wayward, as deficient in natural affection: —it was the stateliness of his own manner; the loftiness and grandeur of his own look that had repelled me from his arms. I always pictured him to myself as I had seen him clad in his senatorial robes, rustling with pomp and pride. The magnificence of his person had daunted my strong imagination. I could never approach him with the confiding affection of a child.
如前所述，我的父亲从来没喜欢过我——实际上，他从来不了解我；他觉得我倔强任性，性格有缺陷——其实是因为他自己那威严的举止、高傲的神情迫使我远离他的怀抱。想起他，我的眼前总是浮现出他穿着那沙沙作响的元老院议员袍子时的高傲神情。他那庄严的气派吓跑了我丰富的想象力。我始终无法带着一个孩子应有的信任感去接近他。
My father's feelings were wrapped up in my elder brother. He was to be the inheritor of the family title and the family dignity, and every thing was sacrificed to him—I, as well as every thing else. It was determined to devote me to the church, that so my humors and myself might be removed out of the way, either of tasking my father's time and trouble, or interfering with the interests of my brother. At an early age, therefore, before my mind had dawned upon the world and its delights, or known any thing of it beyond the precincts of my father's palace, I was sent to a convent, the superior of which was my uncle, and was confided entirely to his care.
我父亲把感情全部倾注在我哥哥身上。哥哥将会继承家族的爵位，还有家族的尊严，因此任何事物都要为他做出牺牲——任何事物，包括我。家里决定让我献身于教会，这样一来，我的坏脾气和我本人就不会耗费我父亲的时间，就不会增添他的烦恼，也不会妨碍我哥哥的利益。因此，在我年少时，还没开始理解这个世界和世间的欢乐，除了父亲的宅邸，我对一切都还懵懂无知，就被送往修道院，我舅舅是那里的院长，我就被全权托付给他了。
My uncle was a man totally estranged from the world; he had never relished, for he had never tasted its pleasures; and he deemed rigid self—denial as the great basis of Christian virtue. He considered every one's temperament like his own; or at least he made them conform to it. His character and habits had an influence over the fraternity of which he was superior. A more gloomy, saturnine set of beings were never assembled together. The convent, too, was calculated to awaken sad and solitary thoughts. It was situated in a gloomy gorge of those mountains away south of Vesuvius. All distant views were shut out by sterile volcanic heights. A mountain stream raved beneath its walls, and eagles screamed about its turrets.
我舅舅是个完全与世隔绝的人，从未享受过生活，因为他从未体验过生活的乐趣，他视严格的克己为基督教美德的伟大基础。他觉得每个人都有着像他一样的性情；至少可以说，他要求别人和他自己一样。他的性格和习惯对他所领导的这个团体很有影响力。没有哪一群人比这群人更忧郁、沉闷了。这座修道院的建立也是为了唤起人们那种悲哀和孤独的情愫。它位于维苏威火山以南的群山中一条幽暗的山谷里。荒芜的火山高高在上，完全遮住了远处的风景。围墙下，山涧呼啸着奔流；角塔周围，山鹰凄厉地尖叫。
I had been sent to this place at so tender an age as soon to lose all distinct recollection of the scenes I had left behind. As my mind expanded, therefore, it formed its idea of the world from the convent and its vicinity, and a dreary world it appeared to me. An early tinge of melancholy was thus infused into my character; and the dismal stories of the monks, about devils and evil spirits, with which they affrighted my young imagination, gave me a tendency to superstition, which I could never effectually shake off. They took the same delight to work upon my ardent feelings that had been so mischievously exercised by my father's household.
我被送到那里的时候年龄那么小，以至于很快便完全失去了对故乡景物的清楚记忆。继而，我的思想随之发展并围绕这座修道院及其周围环境而构成了对这个世界的看法，在我看来这是个阴郁的世界。我的性格中也因此早早透出一股忧郁的气息；教士们讲的那些魔怪故事惊吓到了我那幼稚的想象力，使我倾向于迷信且终生都无法将之摆脱。如同我父亲的家人拿我的火爆脾气逗乐一样，这里的人们也以此为乐。
I can recollect the horrors with which they fed my heated fancy during an eruption of Vesuvius. We were distant from that volcano, with mountains between us; but its convulsive throes shook the solid foundations of nature. Earthquakes threatened to topple down our convent towers. A lurid, baleful light hung in the heavens at night, and showers of ashes, borne by the wind, fell in our narrow valley. The monks talked of the earth being honey—combed beneath us; of streams of molten lava raging through its veins; of caverns of sulphurous flames roaring in the centre, the abodes of demons and the damned; of fiery gulfs ready to yawn beneath our feet. All these tales were told to the doleful accompaniment of the mountain's thunders, whose low bellowing made the walls of our convent vibrate.
我至今还记得，在维苏威火山喷发期间，他们给我丰富的幻想增添了多少恐怖色彩。我们离那座火山很远，中间有群山阻隔；但是火山痛苦地震颤、摇撼着大自然坚实的根基。地震使修道院的塔楼摇摇欲坠。夜里，天空中闪着惨红的光，风携着沙土一阵阵吹落进我们那狭窄的山谷。教士们谈论着脚下如蜂巢般的大地、如河流般顺着地脉蔓延的熔岩、硫黄在其中隆隆燃烧的地心溶洞，他们说那里是魔鬼和罪人的栖息地，还有火坑随时会在我们的脚下张开大口。山体轰轰作响震颤着墙壁，那低沉的轰鸣声仿佛是那些故事悲凉的伴唱。
One of the monks had been a painter, but had retired from the world, and embraced this dismal life in expiation of some crime. He was a melancholy man, who pursued his art in the solitude of his cell, but made it a source of penance to him. His employment was to portray, either on canvas or in waxen models, the human face and human form, in the agonies of death and in all the stages of dissolution and decay. The fearful mysteries of the charnel house were unfolded in his labors—the loathsome banquet of the beetle and the worm. —I turn with shuddering even from the recollection of his works. Yet, at that time, my strong, but ill—directed imagination seized with ardor upon his instructions in his art. Any thing was a variety from the dry studies and monotonous duties of the cloister. In a little while I became expert with my pencil, and my gloomy productions were thought worthy of decorating some of the altars of the chapel.
有一位教士曾是个画家，为了赎什么罪而隐遁起来，甘心在此阴郁地生活。他是个忧郁的人，总是在自己孤独的小房间里苦苦追寻着艺术，并以此作为忏悔的源泉。他所做的就是在画布上画人面或用蜡模做人像，其主题都是表现死亡的痛苦以及消亡和衰落的各种阶段。他的作品展现了停尸房可怕的神秘事物——令人作呕的甲虫和蛆虫的宴会。我至今想起他那些作品都会不寒而栗。但当时，我那强烈而偏离常规的想象力使我对他在艺术上的指导满怀热情。除了修道院枯燥的功课和单调的工作以外能有别的事情做就好，无论什么事情。很快我便擅长画画了，我那些阴郁的作品居然被认为够得上装点礼拜堂的神坛。
In this dismal way was a creature of feeling and fancy brought up. Every thing genial and amiable in my nature was repressed and nothing brought out but what was unprofitable and ungracious. I was ardent in my temperament; quick, mercurial, impetuous, formed to be a creature all love and adoration; but a leaden hand was laid on all my finer qualities. I was taught nothing but fear and hatred. I hated my uncle, I hated the monks, I hated the convent in which I was immured. I hated the world, and I almost hated myself, for being, as I supposed, so hating and hateful an animal.
就这样，我的情感和想象力渐渐烙上了阴郁的特征。我本性中的亲切和善都被压制了，展现出来的全是无益的粗野。我本性热情、机敏、活泼、爱冲动，这使我本是个特别仁爱虔诚的人；但是我所有这些美好的情愫都被一只沉重的大手压制着。我只学会了恐惧和仇恨。我恨舅舅，恨那些教士们，恨那个禁锢我的修道院。我恨这个世界，还几乎恨我自己，我想是因为我已经变成了一个充满仇恨，同时也可恨的动物。
When I had nearly attained the age of sixteen, I was suffered, on one occasion, to accompany one of the brethren on a mission to a distant part of the country. We soon left behind us the gloomy valley in which I had been pent up for so many years, and after a short journey among the mountains, emerged upon the voluptuous landscape that spreads itself about the Bay of Naples. Heavens! How transported was I, when I stretched my gaze over a vast reach of delicious sunny country, gay with groves and vineyards; with Vesuvius rearing its forked summit to my right; the blue Mediterranean to my left, with its enchanting coast, studded with shining towns and sumptuous villas; and Naples, my native Naples, gleaming far, far in the distance.
快满十六岁的时候，院里曾派我随一位教友去一个遥远的地方传道。很快我们便离开了那禁锢我多年的阴郁的山谷。我们在山中走了不久，眼前便呈现出那不勒斯湾的迷人风光。天哪！我惊呆了。放眼望去，在一片美丽明媚的广阔田野上，小丛林和葡萄园郁郁葱葱，右面是维苏威火山挺立的双峰，左面是蓝色的地中海，那迷人的海岸上散布着耀眼的市镇和豪华的别墅；而那不勒斯，我的故乡也在远方若隐若现。
Good God! Was this the lovely world from which I had been excluded! I had reached that age when the sensibilities are in all their bloom and freshness. Mine had been checked and chilled. They now burst forth with the suddenness of a retarded spring. My heart, hitherto unnaturally shrunk up, expanded into a riot of vague, but delicious emotions. The beauty of nature intoxicated, bewildered me. The song of the peasants; their cheerful looks; their happy avocations; the picturesque gayety of their dresses; their rustic music; their dances; all broke upon me like witchcraft. My soul responded to the music; my heart danced in my bosom. All the men appeared amiable, all the women lovely.
仁慈的上帝啊！这就是将我隔离在外的美好的世界吗？我早已到了情感如鲜花般绽放的年龄。但我的情感却被遏制、冷却了。此时此刻，我的情感如同迟来的春天一般突然迸发出来。我的心一向反常地收缩着，而现在突然伸展开来，这是一种茫然而舒适的情感。大自然的美使我沉醉、着迷。农民们的歌声，欣喜的神情，快乐的消遣活动，如画般华丽的服装，乡村音乐和舞蹈，这一切像魔法一样震撼着我。我的灵魂响应着音乐声，我的心和着节奏在胸中翩翩起舞。男人们都很和善，女人们都很可爱。
I returned to the convent, that is to say, my body returned but my heart and soul never entered there again. I could not forget this glimpse of a beautiful and a happy world; a world so suited to my natural character. I had felt so happy while in it; so different a being from what I felt myself while in the convent—that tomb of the living. I contrasted the countenances of the beings I had seen, full of fire and freshness and enjoyment, with the pallid, leaden, lack—lustre visages of the monks; the music of the dance, with the droning chant of the chapel. I had before found the exercises of the cloister wearisome; they now became intolerable. The dull round of duties wore away my spirit; my nerves became irritated by the fretful tinkling of the convent bell; evermore dinging among the mountain echoes; evermore calling me from my repose at night, my pencil by day, to attend to some tedious and mechanical ceremony of devotion.
我又回到了修道院，这只是说我的身体回去了，我的心和灵魂却再也不会回去了。我无法忘却所看到的快乐而美好的世界，那个非常适合我本性的世界。置身其中，我感到无比快乐；这与我生活在坟墓般的修道院的感觉截然不同。我所见到的人们的表情炽热、生动而愉悦，这与教士们苍白、沉闷而死气沉沉的面容形成对比；那欢快的舞蹈音乐与礼拜堂单调乏味的颂歌形成对比。对于修道院那些事务我早已感到厌倦，而现在更感到无法忍受了。重复枯燥的日常事务消磨着我的精神；修道院大钟令人厌烦的叮当声时常在山谷中回响，刺激着我的神经，搅得我晚上无法入睡，白天也画不成画，只能去参加那些呆板乏味的礼拜仪式。
I was not of a nature to meditate long, without putting my thoughts into action. My spirit had been suddenly aroused, and was now all awake within me. I watched my opportunity, fled from the convent, and made my way on foot to Naples. As I entered its gay and crowded streets, and beheld the variety and stir of life around me, the luxury of palaces, the splendor of equipages, and the pantomimic animation of the motley populace, I seemed as if awakened to a world of enchantment, and solemnly vowed that nothing should force me back to the monotony of the cloister.
我并不是个只空想而不付诸行动的人。我的精神猛地被提起来了，我现在彻底觉醒了。我瞅了个机会从修道院溜出来，步行前往那不勒斯。当我走在繁华喧闹的大街上，我环顾这多姿多彩和熙熙攘攘的生活，那奢华的殿堂，豪华的车乘，人们像演哑剧般的活动，我好像在一个迷幻的世界中被唤醒了，我郑重起誓，无论如何我都不会再回去过那种单调的生活了。
I had to inquire my way to my father's palace, for I had been so young on leaving it, that I knew not its situation. I found some difficulty in getting admitted to my father's presence, for the domestics scarcely knew that there was such a being as myself in existence, and my monastic dress did not operate in my favor. Even my father entertained no recollection of my person. I told him my name, threw myself at his feet, implored his forgiveness, and entreated that I might not be sent back to the convent.
要去父亲的宅邸，我得找人问路，因为我很早就离开了，已经记不清它的地址了。再见到父亲我费了些周折，因为仆人们几乎不知道还有我的存在，而且我那教士服装也对我不利。甚至父亲都不记得我的容貌了。我说出我的名字，跪在他膝下请求他原谅，并恳求他不要再送我回去。
He received me with the condescension of a patron rather than the kindness of a parent. He listened patiently, but coldly, to my tale of monastic grievances and disgusts, and promised to think what else could be done for me. This coldness blighted and drove back all the frank affection of my nature that was ready to spring forth at the least warmth of parental kindness. All my early feelings towards my father revived; I again looked up to him as the stately magnificent being that had daunted my childish imagination, and felt as if I had no pretensions to his sympathies. My brother engrossed all his care and love; he inherited his nature, and carried himself towards me with a protecting rather than a fraternal air. It wounded my pride, which was great. I could brook condescension from my father, for I looked up to him with awe as a superior being, but I could not brook patronage from a brother, who, I felt, was intellectually my inferior. The servants perceived that I was an unwelcome intruder in the paternal mansion, and, menial—like, they treated me with neglect. Thus baffled at every point; my affections outraged wherever they would attach themselves, I became sullen, silent, and despondent. My feelings driven back upon myself, entered and preyed upon my own heart. I remained for some days an unwelcome guest rather than a restored son in my father's house. I was doomed never to be properly known there. I was made, by wrong treatment, strange even to myself; and they judged of me from my strangeness.
接见我时，他表现出一副恩人的屈尊傲慢样，而没有一个父亲的慈爱。他耐心地听我讲述修道院的苦闷和厌烦，但神情冷淡，他最终答应考虑对我另作安排。他的冷淡挫伤了我，完全赶走了我的真情。当时，他只要表示出一点儿父爱的温情，我都会立刻扑上前去的。我早年对他的种种情绪全都恢复了；在我眼中，他还是那个吓退我幼小想象力的威严高贵的人，我感觉我没有权力要求他同情。我哥哥独享了父亲的关爱，他继承了父亲的性格，他也像个保护人那样待我，完全没有兄弟之情。这极大地伤害了我的自尊心。父亲对我的恩赐态度，我尚能忍受，因为他是长辈，我对他存有敬畏之心；但哥哥对我那种保护人的神气让我难以忍受，我觉得，他的才智还不如我。仆人们看出我在父亲这里不受欢迎，所以他们像对待下人一样对我很怠慢。我处处受挫，时时愤懑，我变得闷闷不乐、少言寡语、萎靡不振。我的感情又转而折磨自己的心灵。就这样，我不是作为一个长途返家的儿子，而是作为一个不受欢迎的来客在父亲家里呆了些日子。命中注定我在那里得不到应有的理解。不公正的待遇使我变得古怪，连我自己都感觉到了，他们也因此认为我是个古怪的人。
I was startled one day at the sight of one of the monks of my convent, gliding out of my father's room. He saw me, but pretended not to notice me; and this very hypocrisy made me suspect something. I had become sore and susceptible in my feelings; every thing inflicted a wound on them. In this state of mind I was treated with marked disrespect by a pampered minion, the favorite servant of my father. All the pride and passion of my nature rose in an instant, and I struck him to the earth.
一天，我无意间看见修道院的一个教士从父亲房里溜出来，我吃了一惊。那个修道士看见我却只当没看见，这种虚伪的行为让我起了疑心。我的情感已经极其脆弱，任何事情都可能伤害它。当时我就是这样的心理状态，而有个宠奴明显地对我表现了不恭，他是父亲最喜欢的仆人。顿时，我天生的自尊心和激情完全升腾起来了，我将他打倒在地。
My father was passing by; he stopped not to inquire the reason, nor indeed could he read the long course of mental sufferings which were the real cause. He rebuked me with anger and scorn; he summoned all the haughtiness of his nature, and grandeur of his look, to give weight to the contumely with which he treated me. I felt I had not deserved it—I felt that I was not appreciated—I felt that I had that within me which merited better treatment; my heart swelled against a father's injustice. I broke through my habitual awe of him. I replied to him with impatience; my hot spirit flushed in my cheek and kindled in my eye, but my sensitive heart swelled as quickly, and before I had half vented my passion I felt it suffocated and quenched in my tears. My father was astonished and incensed at this turning of the worm, and ordered me to my chamber. I retired in silence, choking with contending emotions.
我父亲恰好路过，他不问缘由喝住了我，他肯定也看不出这件事的真正起因是我心理上所受的折磨。他愤怒而轻蔑地责骂我，尽其所能摆出一副高傲尊贵的样子以加重对我的辱骂。我觉得我不该受此遭遇，没有人理解我，我本应获得更好的待遇；我的心膨胀起来，对父亲的不公感到不满。我打消了对他一贯的敬畏。我极不耐烦地回答他的问题，激动的情绪使我双颊发红，两眼发光；但是我那颗敏感的心也急速地膨胀着，在我的情绪还没发泄到一半的时候，我就感到我那奔涌的眼泪已扼制、冷却了自己的心。父亲看到我这样一个寄生虫也有这么大的气性而吃了一惊，怒斥我回房去。我压制着自己的不满，默默地退了出来。
I had not been long there when I overheard voices in an adjoining apartment. It was a consultation between my father and the monk, about the means of getting me back quietly to the convent. My resolution was taken. I had no longer a home nor a father. That very night I left the paternal roof. I got on board a vessel about making sail from the harbor, and abandoned myself to the wide world. No matter to what port she steered; any part of so beautiful a world was better than my convent. No matter where I was cast by fortune; any place would be more a home to me than the home I had left behind. The vessel was bound to Genoa. We arrived there after a voyage of a few days.
在房里呆了不久，我无意中听到隔壁房间有说话声。原来是父亲和一位教士在商量如何把我悄悄地送回修道院去。我下定了决心。我再也不认这个家和父亲了。当天夜里我就离开了父亲的宅邸。我登上一艘即将扬帆出海的船，把自己交给了这茫茫世界。无论这船将驶向何方，那地方都是这美丽世界的一部分，都比修道院好。无论命运把我抛向何方，比起被我抛弃的那个家，随便什么地方都更像是我的家。这艘船是驶向热那亚的。经过几天的航行后我们到了那里。
As I entered the harbor, between the moles which embrace it, and beheld the amphitheatre of palaces and churches and splendid gardens, rising one above another, I felt at once its title to the appellation of Genoa the Superb. I landed on the mole an utter stranger, without knowing what to do, or whither to direct my steps. No matter; I was released from the thraldom of the convent and the humiliations of home! When I traversed the Strada Balbi and the Strada Nuova, those streets of palaces, and gazed at the wonders of architecture around me; when I wandered at close of day, amid a gay throng of the brilliant and the beautiful, through the green alleys of the Aqua Verdi, or among the colonnades and terraces of the magnificent Doria Gardens, I thought it impossible to be ever otherwise than happy in Genoa.
当我走进那防波堤环抱着的港口，看到那些宫殿、教堂和美丽的花园，一层层的如同露天剧场的阶梯座位一般，我不禁慨叹，这里真不愧是 “瑰丽的热那亚” 。登上防波堤，我举目无亲，既不知道该怎么办，也不知道该往何处去。没关系，反正我摆脱了修道院的束缚和家庭的凌辱。当我穿过巴尔比街和努奥瓦街还有宫殿间的那些街道时，我注视着那些奇妙建筑；当我游荡到晚上，随着一群美丽而光鲜照人的快乐男女穿过阿奎维尔德广场上条条碧绿的小径，或置身于那壮美的多里亚花园里的柱廊和台柱间的时候，我想，在热那亚，除了快乐不会再有别的感受。
A few days sufficed to show me my mistake. My scanty purse was exhausted, and for the first time in my life I experienced the sordid distress of penury. I had never known the want of money, and had never adverted to the possibility of such an evil. I was ignorant of the world and all its ways; and when first the idea of destitution came over my mind its effect was withering. I was wandering pensively through the streets which no longer delighted my eyes, when chance led my stops into the magnificent church of the Annunciata.
然而，仅仅几天工夫就充分暴露了我的判断失误。口袋里那点儿钱花完了，我生平第一次体验到了贫困和窘迫。我从不知道缺钱的感觉，也从未留意过还会有这种灾难。我对这个世界及其世故一概不知；第一次感到贫困，我很沮丧。我忧心忡忡地穿梭在街道上，此时的街道已不再绚丽多彩。很偶然地，我走进了那富丽堂皇的安诺思阿塔教堂。
A celebrated painter of the day was at that moment superintending the placing of one of his pictures over an altar. The proficiency which I had acquired in his art during my residence in the convent had made me an enthusiastic amateur. I was struck, at the first glance, with the painting. It was the face of a Madonna. So innocent, so lovely, such a divine expression of maternal tenderness! I lost for the moment all recollection of myself in the enthusiasm of my art. I clasped my hands together, and uttered an ejaculation of delight. The painter perceived my emotion. He was flattered and gratified by it. My air and manner pleased him, and he accosted me. I felt too much the want of friendship to repel the advances of a stranger, and there was something in this one so benevolent and winning that in a moment he gained my confidence.
一位名画家当时正指挥着把他的画挂到圣坛上去。当年在修道院我就熟悉这门艺术，我因此成了一名兴趣浓厚的绘画爱好者。第一眼看到那幅画我就惊叹不已。那是一幅圣母像。那么纯洁、美丽，那么神圣的母爱！那一刻我沉醉在艺术的热情中，全然忘记了自己。我紧握双手，失声叫好。那位画家觉察出我的激动。他为此感到喜悦，感到满足。他喜欢我的态度和举止，就和我交谈起来。我太需要友情了，当然不会拒绝一位陌生人的主动接近，而且他看起来宽厚可亲，因而很快就赢得了我的信任。
I told him my story and my situation, concealing only my name and rank. He appeared strongly interested by my recital; invited me to his house, and from that time I became his favorite pupil. He thought he perceived in me extraordinary talents for the art, and his encomiums awakened all my ardor. What a blissful period of my existence was it that I passed beneath his roof. Another being seemed created within me, or rather, all that was amiable and excellent was drawn out. I was as recluse as ever I had been at the convent, but how different was my seclusion. My time was spent in storing my mind with lofty and poetical ideas; in meditating on all that was striking and noble in history or fiction; in studying and tracing all that was sublime and beautiful in nature. I was always a visionary, imaginative being, but now my reveries and imaginings all elevated me to rapture.
我向他讲述了我的经历和情况，唯独没有透露我的姓名和身份。我这番详述引起他极大的兴趣；他请我去他家，并从那时起，我成了他的得意门生。他认为他看出我在这门艺术方面有超常的天分，而他对我的赞赏也唤醒了我的一腔热情。在他家的那段日子多幸福啊！我好像脱胎换骨了似的，或者说，我和善美好的性情被唤醒了。我如同在修道院时一样隐遁起来，但这一次可大不相同！我专注于以高尚而诗意的情感充实自己，冥思历史或小说中动人而尊贵的情节，揣摩探索那雄奇美丽的大自然。我一向是个幻想家，而此时的种种幻想使我着了迷。
I looked up to my master as to a benevolent genius that had opened to me a region of enchantment. I became devotedly attached to him. He was not a native of Genoa, but had been drawn thither by the solicitation of several of the nobility, and had resided there but a few years, for the completion of certain works he had undertaken. His health was delicate, and he had to confide much of the filling up of his designs to the pencils of his scholars. He considered me as particularly happy in delineating the human countenance; in seizing upon characteristic, though fleeting expressions and fixing them powerfully upon my canvas. I was employed continually, therefore, in sketching faces, and often when some particular grace or beauty or expression was wanted in a countenance, it was entrusted to my pencil. My benefactor was fond of bringing me forward; and partly, perhaps, through my actual skill, and partly by his partial praises, I began to be noted for the expression of my countenances.
我尊重我的师傅，他是位慈善的天才，他为我开启了一方迷人的天地。我忠实地追随着他。他不是热那亚人，受几位贵族的恳请而来到这里，在这里住了不过几年时间，为的是完成几件作品。他身体羸弱，很多构图只能托付学生动手完成。他认为我特别擅长画容貌，哪怕是稍纵即逝的神情，我也能抓住其特点并生动地固定在画布上。因此，他常常让我勾画人的容貌，当需要描画优美的容颜时，他就时常交付给我去完成。我这位恩人喜欢提携我，或许是因为我的艺术技巧和他的大加赞赏，我渐渐地在画容貌方面出了名。
Among the various works which he had undertaken, was an historical piece for one of the palaces of Genoa, in which were to be introduced the likenesses of several of the family. Among these was one entrusted to my pencil. It was that of a young girl, who as yet was in a convent for her education. She came out for the purpose of sitting for the picture. I first saw her in an apartment of one of the sumptuous palaces of Genoa. She stood before a casement that looked out upon the bay, a stream of vernal sunshine fell upon her, and shed a kind of glory round her as it lit up the rich crimson chamber. She was but sixteen years of age—and oh, how lovely! The scene broke upon me like a mere vision of spring and youth and beauty. I could have fallen down and worshipped her. She was like one of those fictions of poets and painters, when they would express the beau ideal that haunts their minds with shapes of indescribable perfection.
在他的各种作品中，有一件是历史画，画的是热那亚一座宅邸，还要画上几个家庭成员。其中有一位就交给我来画。那是一位年轻姑娘，在修道院上学。她在画中的姿势是坐着的。我第一次见到她是在热那亚一座豪华宅邸的房间里。她站在面海的一扇窗前，一缕春光洒落身上，当这间富丽、绯红的房间里阳光普照的时候，她周身都光彩熠熠的。那时她不过十六岁——啊，多么可爱！一幅纯美的景色呈现在我眼前，是春天，是妙龄，是美好。我甚至想跪下去膜拜她。当诗人和画家们想以一种难以表达的完美形象来表现萦绕他们心间的爱意时，她就是其中一种完美形象。
I was permitted to sketch her countenance in various positions, and I fondly protracted the study that was undoing me. The more I gazed on her the more I became enamoured; there was something almost painful in my intense admiration. I was but nineteen years of age; shy, diffident, and inexperienced. I was treated with attention and encouragement, for my youth and my enthusiasm in my art had won favor for me; and I am inclined to think that there was something in my air and manner that inspired interest and respect. Still the kindness with which I was treated could not dispel the embarrassment into which my own imagination threw me when in presence of this lovely being. It elevated her into something almost more than mortal. She seemed too exquisite for earthly use; too delicate and exalted for human attainment. As I sat tracing her charms on my canvas, with my eyes occasionally riveted on her features, I drank in delicious poison that made me giddy. My heart alternately gushed with tenderness, and ached with despair. Now I became more than ever sensible of the violent fires that had lain dormant at the bottom of my soul. You who are born in a more temperate climate and under a cooler sky, have little idea of the violence of passion in our southern bosoms.
我可以描绘她的各种容貌，我痴情地慢慢观摩着她，那使我神魂颠倒。我越看越痴迷，热烈的仰慕感中还透着点儿痛楚。那时的我不过十九岁，羞涩、胆怯而毫无经验。因为年轻和对艺术的热情，我赢到了人们的关注和鼓励，现在想起来我觉得可能是我的态度和举止为我赢得了人们的关注和敬重。人们待我很和气，但仍不能驱除我想象中见到她时的忸怩不安。在我的想象中，她已超脱凡尘。她有着世间难以匹配的高雅，世人无法企及的美妙。我坐那里，在画布上描绘着她的神韵，不时地凝视他的容颜，我像喝了醇美的毒酒一般感觉飘飘然。我的心时而涌上阵阵柔情，时而绝望和痛苦。我越发地觉察出我那潜藏在心灵深处的激情。生活在温和凉爽地区的人们想象不出我们南方人胸中涌动的激情。