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◎ By Amanda Foreman 译 / 徐国宏
她是《哈利·波特》中精灵古怪的小魔女赫敏，她的名字是时尚偶像的代名词，她为了上大学奋力斗争，她坚强地不断吸取能量倔强前行，她被任命为联合国妇女署亲善大使时一度让联合国官网因浏览量激增而瘫痪，她是红遍全球的英国女演员、布朗大学的高材生艾玛·沃特森，她用自己的努力、勇敢和坚强实现了完美蜕变。
It's the pixie
-cut hair and flawless skin that give her away. Emma Watson is dressed unobtrusivel
in a cotton flower-print French Connection dress and beig
sandals, but she is unmistakable. Fans have accosted
her five times in the past half hour alone. Today is the actress's twenty-first birthday, an she is determined to spend it as she pleases—which means a leisurely mid-morning latte followed by a stroll through the Joan Miró exhibition at London's Tate Modern. Emma just ignores the stares and chats animatedly
about every picture on the wall with me. As a raucous
band of teenagers turns around and heads straight toward her, "It's time to go," she says. And we head swiftly for the nearest exit. Outside, a photographer in a tree starts snapping away until she is inside the car and driving away.
As we drive through London, a completely different Emma emerges from the smiling girl who met me for coffee two hours earlier. This Emma is passionate and vulnerable. She describes a recent turning point when she read Just Kids, Patti Smith's
2010 memoir, in which she writes of discovering that her true calling lay in "three chords merged with the power of the word". Patti's willingness to embrace the highs and lows of a creative life touched something in Emma. "I want to live like Patti. I want to write like Patti," she says. "The book was so honest and brave. I loved the way she sees the world. I really felt that life was more beautiful after I read it, and I felt more hopeful."
Conscious that her words might sound odd or a slightly self-regarding coming from one of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood, Emma goes quiet for a moment. The hands stop moving, and her elfi25features crumple2627. "I have had no control over my life," she blurts out. "I have lived in a complete bubble. They found me and picked me for the part. And now I'm desperately trying to find my waythrough it."
She gives me a quizzical
look that clearly says, "Can I trust you?" Taking a deep breath, she invites me back to her house so that we can talk without fear of interruption and she can explain what she means by the "bubble".
是那修剪如顽童的短发和完美无瑕的皮肤暴露了她。艾玛·沃特森穿得并不引人注意——一条French Connection的棉料印花连衣裙和一双米色凉鞋，但她从不会被认错。仅在刚才的半个小时里她就被粉丝搭讪了五次。今天是这位女演员的21岁（编注：本文写于2011年）生日，她决意按自己喜欢的方式度过，而这意味着在上午10点左右悠闲地喝一杯拿铁，然后在伦敦泰特现代美术馆里漫步欣赏胡安·米罗的画展。艾玛只是忽略周围人对她的注视，兴致勃勃地和我聊着墙上的每一幅作品。当一群喧闹的青少年转过身径直朝她走过来时，她说：“该走了。”于是我们迅速走向最近的出口。外面，一位藏在树上的摄影师手里的快门开始咔嚓咔嚓响个不停，直到她坐到车里开车离开。
随着我们开车在伦敦穿行，一个完全不同的艾玛从这个两个小时前和我见面喝咖啡的微笑女孩中显露出来，这个艾玛热情而又脆弱。她描述说最近生活的一个转折点是在读帕蒂·史密斯2010年的回忆录《只是孩子》的时候。在这本书中，帕蒂写了关于发现自己内心真正的呼唤蕴藏在“融入文字力量的三个和弦”之中。帕蒂乐意去拥抱创造性生活中的高潮和低谷，这触动了艾玛内心的某个东西。她说：“我想要像帕蒂那样活着，想要像帕蒂那样写作。这本书特别坦诚，特别勇敢，我喜欢她看待世界的方式。读过这本书之后，我真的觉得生活更加美好了，我也更加满怀希望。”
意识到这些出自好莱坞收入最高的女演员之一的话可能听起来有些古怪或略显自我，艾玛沉默了一阵子，她的手不再动了，精灵般的容颜看上去有些忧伤。“我一直无法主宰自己的生活，”她突然开口说，“我一直生活在一个彻头彻尾的泡泡里。他们找到我，挑选我演了那个角色（编注：指赫敏）。而现在我正不顾一切地努力从中找到一条自己的路。”
她给了我一个探询的目光，显然在说：“我可以相信你吗？”然后她深吸了一口气，邀请我回她家，这样我们就可以放心交谈而不必担心被打扰，而她也可以解释之前说的“泡泡”是什么意思。
Emma was only nine years old when her love for stories, and for one in particular about the adventures of a boy wizard and his two best friends, drove her to audition for producer David Heyman. One minute she was living an ordinary existence in the picturesque university town of Oxford with her mother and younger brother, Alex; the next she was enclosed behind the gates of a converted
factory near London, inside a fantasy world that was, to echo Patti Smith's description of the Chelsea Hotel, "like a doll's house in The Twilight Zone".
Nothing prepared Emma or her parents, who divorced when she was five, for the all-encompassing commitment
demanded by the Harry Potter franchise
as its success took off. Acting the part ofHermione was not simply a matter of taking the odd hiatus
from normal life; the constant filming and promoting of the movies became normal life. All the rituals of adolescence, from dyeing her hair to trawling
the mall in search of boys, had to be sacrificed on the altar f work.
In time, the crew on the set of Harry Potter became Emma's surrogate
family. It was not just about bonding with her costars Daniel Radcliff
and Rupert Grint
: Heyman's emphasis on continuity ensured that year after year the same driver took Emma to and from Leavesden Studios, the same cafeteria lady take food for her, and the same hairdressers combed her famous brown curly hair. Emma grew close to the head of makeup, Amanda Knight, and would while away
the hours experimenting in the makeup trailer. "That was my playground. I would sit and play with lipsticks and eye shadows; and every now and then Amanda would let me do the extras'
face paint for the Quidditch matches."
But in 2007 Emma turned seventeen, and the "doll's house" began to feel less like an alternate universe and more like an ordinary prison. "She is really, really bright," says Heyman. "She is curious and interested in everything: in fashion, culture, and literature. She questioned things more than Dan and Rupert. There were things that she needed to figure out for herself.
艾玛爱看小说，尤其爱看那本描写一个少年巫师和两个最要好朋友的冒险故事，而这份喜爱驱使她参加制片人大卫·海曼的试镜，当时她才九岁。前一刻她还与母亲和弟弟亚历克斯在风景如画的牛津大学城里过着平凡的生活；下一刻她就置身伦敦附近一个被改建的厂房的大门内，与外界隔绝，进入了一个虚幻的世界——那个世界跟帕蒂·史密斯对怡景酒店的描述一样，“就像是电影《阴阳魔界》中的玩偶屋”。
随着《哈利·波特》在商业上大获成功，制片方提出了方方面面的约束，让艾玛和在她五岁时就离异的父母措手不及。拍赫敏的戏份不再仅仅是一件利用正常生活中的零散间歇就能完成的事，接连不断的电影拍摄和宣传变成了日常生活。从染头发到在购物中心里搜寻男生，所有这些青春期惯常做的事都不得不被牺牲在了工作的祭坛上。
经过一段时间之后，《哈利·波特》片场的剧组人员成了艾玛的代理家庭。这不仅仅包括跟她的搭档丹尼尔·雷德克里夫和鲁伯特·格林特保持好关系，海曼对连续性的强调也确保了年复一年同一个司机接送艾玛往来利维斯顿拍摄基地，同一个餐厅服务员为她送餐，同一组美发师为她梳理那一头著名的棕色卷发。艾玛慢慢地和总化妆师阿曼达·奈特变得亲密起来，经常会在化妆车上玩化妆品打发时间。“那里就是我的游乐场，我会坐在那里玩各种口红和眼影。有时阿曼达还会让我给参演魁地奇比赛的临时演员化妆。”
然而到2007年艾玛已经17岁了，这个“玩偶屋”开始变得不再像是一个与现实生活交替的空间，而更像是一所普通的牢房。“她真的真的很聪明，”海曼说，“不论是时尚、文化还是文学，她对任何事情都充满好奇而且兴趣浓厚。她比丹和鲁伯特更喜欢问问题，有些事情她需要为自己找到答案。”
As Emma takes me on a tour of her house, the extraordinary depth and breadth to her talents become obvious. Every room is framed around a beautiful artifact and her artworks show that she can both paint and draw exquisitely. One picture stands out: it is a self-portrait of Emma holding a camera. The lens
is aimed threateningly at the viewer, like the barrel
of a gun, a neat illustration of what we had just experienced at the Tate.
She talks in fighting metaphors. "I have felt for the last ten ears I have had this battle; I've been fighting so hard to have an education. It's been this uphill stuggle," she says, clenching her hands as she speaks. "I was Warner Bros.' pain in the butt
. I was their scheduling conflict. I was the one who made life difficult." Finally, Emma took the brave step of announcing that she would not renew her contract fo the last two films unless changes were made to accommodate her esire to go to university. Warner Bros. agreed to do everything humanly possible, and, she says, "I just realized at one point that I can't fighteverything. I have to move in the direction of it—and go with it."
But being the perfectionist she is, Emma couldn't just "go with it". Once she had agreed to commit herself to four more years, "I decided I would do it well." The change became apparent in all areas of her life. Critics noticed a new energy to her acting. "As the role of Hermione became more interesting," says David Yates, the director of the last four Potter films, "Emma became more engaged. She is an incredibly intuitive
and instinctive actor. She can dig deep to find an emotion and bring it to the scene." The Deathly Hallows parts one and two are the darkest of all the Potter movies, the innocence of the previous films replaced by a grim
meditation on the nature of terror. The more complex material in the final
allowed Emma to stretch her wings. But, insists Yates, "she hasn't had a role yet to show how she can really shine. There is a very serious and interesting acting brain in there that will surprise everybody."
With all this going on, Emma somehow managed to find the time to enroll at Brown University in 2009. "I want to be normal," she said at the time. "I really want anonymity
." Contrary to some media reports, she says this is exactly what happened: she lived in a freshman dorm with a shared bathroom at the end of the corridor. No one hassled
her or shouted out "Three points for Gryffindor" if she answer a question in class. Emma was able to fit right in, wearing fliflops to lectures and finishing her paper at four in the morning like everyone else. Only she wasn't like them, because they didn't have to take two weeks off here and there to shoot scenes or attend a junke
, and then return tired and jet-lagged
in time for finals. Briefly meeting the actor James Fran
, then studying at Rhode Island School of Design, was helpful. "It was such a relief to speak to someone who is trying to do the same thing I'm doing. I talked to him about juggling
studying and making films and going backward and forward. He'snot afraid or limited by what he fears people will say about it."
在艾玛带我参观她的房子时，她才华所具有的非凡的深度和广度也变得十分明显。每一个房间都被一件漂亮的手工艺品所围绕，并且从她的这些手工艺品可以看出不论是油画还是素描她都可以画得很精美。其中一幅作品很引人注目：那是一幅艾玛举着相机的自画像。画中的相机镜头像枪管一样咄咄逼人地对着观赏者，是我们刚才在泰特现代美术馆门前的经历的完美写照。
她的话中带着奋斗的隐喻。“在过去的十年，我感觉自己一直在战斗，一直在奋力斗争以赢得受教育的机会。就是这样一直不断地向上奋战，”她边说边握紧了拳头，“使我成了华纳兄弟的烦恼。我是他们日程安排的冲突所在。我是那个让生活变得艰难的人。”最终，艾玛勇敢地迈出了这一步，她宣布自己将不再为最后的两部电影续约，除非片方做出一些改变，对她想去上大学读书予以方便。华纳兄弟同意在力所能及的范围内做所能做的一切。她说：“我那时只是一度意识到自己不能和所有的事情抗争。我得和它朝一个方向走，与它相伴而行。”
但作为一个完美主义者，艾玛不会只是 “相伴而行”。一旦她同意全力以赴再拍上四年，“我就下决心要把它做好。”她的变化在生活的各个方面都变得明显起来。评论家们注意到她在表演中融入了一股新的能量。《哈利·波特》系列电影最后四部的导演大卫·叶慈说：“随着赫敏的角色变得越发有趣，艾玛也开始越来越投入。她有着不可思议的直觉，是天生的演员。她能深入钻研去寻找一种情绪，并且在镜头前表现出来。”《死亡圣器》上下两部是整个《哈利·波特》系列电影中最为黑暗的两部，对恐怖本性严肃的深思取代了前几部戏里的天真无邪。这终结篇中更为复杂的剧情让艾玛可以尽情发挥。但是，叶慈强调：“目前她还没有一个角色可以让她真正展现自己的光芒。她有着极为严肃认真又充满趣味的表演天赋，足以让所有人大吃一惊。”
尽管这么忙，艾玛不知怎地在2009年设法找出时间到布朗大学注了册。“我想和正常人一样，”她在当时曾说，“我真的想隐姓埋名。”与一些媒体报道的不同，她说当年的确切事实是这样的：她住的是只在走廊尽头有公共浴室的新生公寓；她在课堂上回答问题的时候也没有人找麻烦或是大喊“格兰芬多，3分”；艾玛能够很好地融入其中，她穿着人字拖去听课，也会像别人一样在凌晨4点才完成论文。可是她和别人又不一样，因为别人不必请两周假到处去拍戏或是在参加完宴会后疲惫地倒着时差赶回来好参加期末考试。和当时在美国罗德岛设计学院求学的演员詹姆斯·弗兰科短暂的相见对她帮助不小。“和一个也像自己一样努力做着同样事情的人聊一聊在那个时候是那么让人宽慰。我和他聊了尽力在学习和拍片中寻求平衡，进进退退。他并不会因害怕别人对他指指点点而畏惧或受限。”
Emma struggled bravely to fit everything into her life. "For soeone of her age, she is relentless in what she does. Even when we were shooting The Deathly Hallows, on her day off I would see her doing press for a fashion house or having meetings about her fashion line. And I would say to her, 'Emma, do you ever stop? You've just got to stop.'" recalled Yates.
In 2008 she enrolled at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art for a course on Shakespeare, and last year took an acting class at Brown. Having played the same character for ten years, Emma could not help falling prey to
self-doubt. "Hermione is so close to who I am as a person that I've never really had to research a role," she says. "I'm literally rediscovering what it means to be an actress."
"Now," says Heyman, "I think she is at a crossroads and is trying to determine what direction to take. She can, if she chooses to, do many things." Which brings us back to the question confronting Emma as she enters full-fledged adulthood—"What kind of artist am I?
Parched
from an afternoon of nonstop conversation, she pauses to boil the kettle for a cup of tea. As she leans against the wooden counter in her kitchen holding the drink in her hands, her body language changes yet again, and Emma finally seems to relax. Her chin coes up in a defian
tilt. "I've probably earned the right to screw up
a few times," she says. "I don't want the fear of failure to stop me from doing what I really care about."
艾玛勇敢地奋斗着让一切融入她的生活。“对于她这个年龄的人来说，她对于自己做的事情真是毫不松懈。甚至在我们拍摄《死亡圣器》的时候，我也会看到她在休息日为某个时装公司做采访，或是在开会讨论她的时装系列。我会对她说：‘艾玛，你停下来过吗？你要停下来休息。’”叶慈回忆道。
2008年，她报了皇家戏剧学院学习一门研究莎士比亚的课程，去年又选修了布朗大学的表演课。由于十年来都在演同一个角色，艾玛禁不住被自我怀疑所困扰。“赫敏在性格上和我太像了，以至于我之前从不需要去真正研究一个角色，”她说，“我现在确实在重新发现作为一个女演员意味着什么。”
海曼说：“现在，我认为她正处在一个十字路口，她在努力决定往哪边走。如果做出选择，她有能力做很多事情。”这让我们想起了艾玛真正长大成人后所遭遇的问题——“我是一个什么样的艺术家？”
我们不间断地聊了一个下午，口渴的她停下来去烧水泡茶。她倚着厨房的木头台面拿起茶杯时，她的肢体语言再次变了，艾玛终于看起来放松了。她的下巴以发起挑战的斜度扬起。“或许我已经赢得了把事情弄糟几次的权利，”她说，“我不想让对失败的恐惧阻止我做自己真正在意的事情。”