Open one eye and close one eye

睁一只眼，闭一只眼

Wife:You see. According to the statistics on the paper，80%of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

Husband:It's okay. To my investigation, all these people eat meals.

妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

丈夫：那有什么？据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

★★★★★★

One day, Eve asked Adam，“Do you really love me？”

Adam said helplessly，“Do I have any other choice？”

一天，夏娃问亚当：“你当真爱我吗？”

亚当无可奈何地回答：“我还有别的选择吗？”

★★★★★★

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks，“What was that for？”She says，“I found a piece of paper in your pocket with‘Betty Sue'written on it.”He says，“Jeez, honey，‘Betty Sue'was the name of the horse I bet on.”She shrugs and walks away.

Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks，“What was that for？”She answers，“Your horse called.”

一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问道：“这是为什么？”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条。”他说：“哎呀，亲爱的，‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。”她耸了耸肩，走了。

三天后，他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问：“这又是为什么？”她答道：“你的马打电话来了。”

★★★★★★

Wife talking to her husband（who reads the newspaper all day）：“I wish I were a newspaper so I would be in your hands all day.”Husband：“I wish that too, so I could change you daily.”

妻子对整天坐在那里看报纸的丈夫说：“我希望我就是报纸，这样你就可以整天把我捧在手上了。”

丈夫说：“我也希望你是报纸，那样的话我可以天天换新的。”

★★★★★★

A:What would you do if you find your husband date with another woman？

B:I'll open one eye and close one eye.

A:How kind you are！

B:No, I'll shoot him！

A：如果你发现你丈夫与别的女人约会你会怎么做？

B：我会睁一只眼，闭一只眼。

A：你太善良了！

B：不，我要射死他！

★★★★★★

Why is he howling

Dentist:Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.

Patient:I know, but you are standing on my foot！

他为什么喊

牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。

病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！