This is no time to be superstitious！

都什么时候了，还这么迷信！

Much worse

Policeman:Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch？

Man:If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

那就更糟了

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

★★★★★★

Psychiatrist

Jerry went to a psychiatrist.“Doc，”he said，“I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it.I'm going crazy！”“Just put yourself in my hands for one year，”said the shrink.“Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears.”“How much do you charge?”one hundred dollars per visit.“I'll sleep on it，”said Jerry.Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.“Why didn't you ever come to see me again?”asked the psychiatrist.“For a hundred bucks a visit?The bartender cured me for$10.”“Is that so!How?”“He told me to cut the legs off the bed!Ain't nobody under there now!”

心理医生

杰瑞去看心理医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了！”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“怎么收费呢？”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢？”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗？有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的？他怎么做到的？”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那儿没人了！”

★★★★★★

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said，“I hear sirens.Jump！”

The second one said，“But we're on the 13th floor！”

The first one screamed back，“This is no time to be superstitious！”

两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！”

第二个说：“但是我们在13层啊！”

第一个朝他大喊道：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！”

★★★★★★

A kid asked his dad，“Hey, Pop, can you write in the dark？”

The dad answered，“Sure. What do you want me to write？”

The boy said，“Your name on this report card.”

有个孩子问他爸爸：“嘿，爸，你能在黑暗中写字吗？”

爸爸回答：“当然。你要我写什么？”

男孩说：“在这个成绩单上写你的名字。”

★★★★★★

A tricky girl said，“Mom, I got a one hundred in school today！”The mom replied，“Great, sweetie, tell me about it.”The girl reluctantly said，“Well, I got a twenty in math, a thirty in history and a fifty in spelling.”

一个狡猾的女孩说：“妈妈，我今天在学校得了一个100分！”

妈妈回答说：“太好了，小可爱。跟我说说情况。”

这个女孩不情愿地说：“嗯，我数学得了20分，历史得了30分，拼写得了50分。”