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Virginia Satir
Some years ago I took on an assignment in a southern county to work with people on public welfare. What I wanted to do was show that everybody has the capacity to be self-sufficient and all we have to do is to activate them.I asked the county to pick a group of people who were on public welfare, people from different racial groups and different family constellations. I would then see them as a group for three hours every Friday. I also asked for a little petty cash to work with, as I needed it.
The first thing I said after I shook hands with everybody was, “I would like to know what your dreams are.” Everyone looked at me as if I were kind of wacky.
“Dreams? We don't have dreams.”
I said, “Well, when you were a kid what happened? Wasn't there something you wanted to do?”
One woman said to me, “I don't know what you can do with dreams. The rats are eating up my kids.”
“Oh,” I said. “That's terrible. No, of course, you are very much involved with the rats and your kids. How can that be helped?”
“Well, I could use a new screen door because there are holes in my screen door.”
I asked, “Is there anybody around here who knows how to fix a screen door?
There was a man in the group, and he said, “A long time ago I used to do things like that but now I have a terribly bad back, but I'll try.”
I told him I had some money if he would go to the store and buy some screening and go and fix the lady's screen door.
“Do you think you can do that?”
“Yes, I'll try.”
The next week, when the group was seated, I said to the woman, “Well, is your screen door fixed?
“Oh, yes,” she said.
“Then we can start dreaming, can't we?” She sort of smiled at me.
I said to the man who did the work, “How do you feel?”
He said, “Well, you know, it's a very funny thing. I'm beginning to feel a lot better.”
That helped the group to begin to dream. These seemingly small successes allowed the group to see that dreams were not insane. These small steps began to get people to see and feel that something really could happen.
I began to ask other people about their dreams. One woman shared that she always wanted to be a secretary. I said, “Well, what stands in your way?”(That's always my next question.)
She said, “I have six kids, and I don't have anyone to take care of them while I'm away.”
“Let's find out,” I said
“Is there anybody in this group who would take care of six kids for a day or two a week while this woman gets some training here at the community college?”
One woman said, “I got kids, too, but I could do that.”
“Let's do it,” I said. So a plan was created and the woman went to school.
Everyone found something. The man who put in the screen door became a handyman. The woman who took in the children became a licensed foster care person. In 12 weeks I had all these people off public welfare. I've not only done that once, I've done in many times.
几年前，我被派遣到南部的一个镇上去指导依靠公共福利生活的人。我想做的就是告诉每个人，他们都有自给自足的能力，我们要做的就是激励他们。我让镇里挑选一批靠公共福利生活的人，他们应来自不同的种族和不同的家庭出身。然后，我会在每星期五与这些人待上三个小时。我还申请了一小笔工作资金，以备不时之需。
在同每个人一一握手之后，我说的第一句话就是：“我想知道你们的梦想都是什么。”每个人都用异样的眼光看着我，好像我是一个怪人。
“梦想？我们没有梦想。”
我说：“好吧，当你们还是个孩子的时候呢？你们没有什么想做的事吗？”
一位女士对我说：“我不知道有了梦想又能做什么。老鼠就要吃掉我的孩子了。”
“哦，”我说，“那可真糟糕。你老是想着老鼠和你的孩子，那梦想当然没什么用。怎样才能帮到你呢？”
“嗯……我也许需要一扇新的纱门，我的纱门洞太多了。”
我问：“这里有没有谁知道怎么安装纱门？”
这时，人群里有个男人说道：“很久以前，我常做那样的工作，但现在我的背痛得厉害，不过我会试试。”
我告诉他我有些钱，问他能否去商店买些网眼纱，然后去帮那位女士安装纱门。
“你认为你能做到这些吗？”
“是的，我试试。”
一周以后，当小组成员都坐好后，我对那位女士说：“好吧，你的纱门安装好了吗？”
“哦，是的。”她说。
“那么我们可以开始梦想了，不是吗？”她对我笑了笑。
我对那个安装纱门的男人说：“你感觉如何？”
他说：“噢，你知道，这是件很有趣的事。我现在感觉好多了。”
这件事使得整组人开始梦想起来。这些看似微不足道的成功让他们领会到，梦想并不愚蠢。这些小小的步骤开始让人们看见并感受到，有些事情真的会发生。
我开始询问其他人的梦想。一位女士分享道，她一直想做一个秘书。我说：“嗯，那么是什么阻碍了你的梦想呢？”（这总是我下一个要问的问题。）
她说：“我有六个孩子，当我外出的时侯，我找不到人去照顾他们。”
“让我们来看看有没有办法。”我说。
“这位女士每周在社区大学接受培训的一两天里，这个小组里有人能照顾一下她的六个孩子吗？”
一位女士说道：“我也有孩子，但我可以帮忙。”
“那就这么办。”我说。于是一个计划出炉了，那位女士去上课了。
每个人都有所领悟。那位安装纱门的男人成了一名杂务工。这位帮忙照看孩子的女人成了一名有执照的看护师。十二周后，我使得这组人都不再依靠公共福利而生活。这样的事，我不仅只成功了一次，而是已经帮助了更多的人自食其力。
【名人语库】
No man is useless in this world who lightens the burden of someone else.
【 C. Dickens 】
在这个世界上能为别人减轻负担的人都是有用的。
【查尔斯·狄更斯（英国小说家）】