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第三节 实例分析

下面以2009年作文Are Dialects Just Acceptable in Public Places?作为具体案例,让广大考生了解各个档次的评分标准。

评分标准:

20分~18分,优秀作文:文章表达精准(effective communication with accura-cies)。

文章有效地完成了写作要求。文章思路清晰,主题鲜明,例证充分。几乎没有词汇拼写、标点和语法的使用错误,具有恰当运用语言的能力。文章读起来通顺流畅。The writing effectively addresses the writing task.It demonstrates a well deve-loped logical organizational structure with clearly stated main ideas and sufficient supporting details.It has almost no errors of vocabulary,spelling,punctuation or syntax,and it displays an adequate ability to use the language with appropriateness.No diffculty is experienced by the reader.

例文:

优秀作文(得分:18~19)

Are Dialects Just Acceptable in Public Places?

Last week,a group of us students,who just attended a class given by a lecturer who advocates using dialects in public places and insists on speaking his Hunan dialect in his lecturing,raised a question about the issue:Are dialects just acceptable in public places?Some stood by the teacher because they believe that only by using his dialect can one express himself exactly and vividly while others maintained that since we are from across the country,we need a national lingua franca in order to secure effcient communication among dialectally different people.I side with the latter since I am convinced that language should above all function as a means of effective communication and in the current situation,Mandarin serves this purpose best.

To start with,our country is a culturally and of course dialectally diverse country.In order that people from different provinces can communicate with each other clearly and efficiently,we should concur on using a Putonghua a variety of Chinese acceptable by all as a standard language especially in public places,on radios and TVs,in conferences.Otherwise,we may encounter a chaos of messy communications and misunderstandingsand basic communication of society may be hindered and normal life disrupted.

In the second place,we as a people need an emblem to tell us from other peoples just as RP English distinguishes British from Australians.And of course Putonghua can best perform this function in this country.Don't forget that some 2,000 years ago the Chinese characters—a kind of Putonghua prevailing then helped unite the country in a way that few can imagine today.And now we don't see any sign we need such Putonghua less as we communicate with the outside world and among ourselves in public places.In this faster,richer and smaller world we do need a unifed,effcient and gracious Putonghua as a national identity.No nation can be credited with civility without such a widely accepted,unifed,economical means of communication for sake of our social,cultural and economic life.

Of course,advocating Mandarin or Putonghua does not mean we will banish or prejudice against our nation's richest treasure of dialects,estimated more than 200 altogether.They make up a great resource for our life and linguistic enrichment.As we all know,some of sit-comedies are comic and fun only when their lines are said in a certain dialect.Otherwise people don't find them amusing and laugh-worthy.So in a sense,dialects can enrich literary creation as is shown unmistakably in the fact that huge number of ethnic and local plays are sung or played only in dialects.And dialects can also contribute to the coinage and creation of new words and fresh expressions.It is one of the driving mechanisms for language change.Of course it can add a lot of fun and intimacy to family talks and folk conversations.But in public places we had better speak Putonghua.

Speaking Putonghua in public places has already become a public trend accepted by more and more people although there are still few who feel uneasy about this.Despite the fact that dialects are rich,innovative and fgurative and there is nothing wrong with it when we speak overtly and loudly among folks and families,they are not acceptable on radios and televisions,in conferences and other public occasions so far as efficacy in communications among people from different parts of the country and in such a metropolitan as Shanghai is concerned.

评分标准:

17分~15分,良好作文:文章表达流畅但有少许不当之处(good communication with few inaccuracies)。

文章基本达到了写作要求,虽然有些部分表达不当。文章大体上思路清晰,主题鲜明,例证充分。有少量词汇拼写、标点和语法的错误,写作者有一定的语言运用能力,文章阅读起来无障碍。The writing adequately addresses almost all of the writing tasks,though it deals with some parts more effectively than others.It demonstrates a generally well-developed logical organizational structure with main ideas and supporting details.It has relatively few significant errors of vocabulary,spelling,punctuation or syntax,and it displays an ability to use the language with appropriateness.Very little diffculty is experienced by the reader.

例文:

良好作文(得分:16~17,有文字加分,语言流畅)

Are Dialects Just as Acceptable in Public Places?

Nowadays,many public places have adopted the use of dialect for the convenience of some particular group.Many people supported it,but other people criticize it,because they think it violates the national policy to promote Putonghua.In my opinion,the use of dialect should not be accepted in the public place,I have three reasons to support my opinion.

First of all,the use of dialect will reduce the effciency for many people to obtain information,and to some degree it will be perceived as noise pollution to some people.For many people who do not understand the dialect,it will greatly waste their time.In the public place,where people are coming from different places,this phenomenon is extremely common in the big city,but the dialect can just be understood by a small group of people,so if the public place adopts the use of dialect,most people present there will feel confused,for a large group of people,this really reduce the effciency of communication among them,and it just beneft a small number of people.

Next,for a country,the use of dialect in the public place will have a negative effect on the promotion of Putonghua,as a result,it will make a country less competitive.If the use of dialect will be adopted,many people who just understand their dialect will not feel the need to study the Putonghua.Consequently,this will hamper their communication with other place's people in the country.As we all know,communication with other group of people will help us grow better,so it is evidently that the strength will be weakened,the channel to share different group's knowledge and culture will be reduced.

Last,the use of dialect in the public place will cause misunderstand and conflict among different group of people.As we can say that,in the novel of A Passage to India,the confict of India and Britain is largely derived from their diverse language and culture,the use of dialect in the public place will inevitably cause the same situation.People fromdifferent group will continue to speak their own dialect and foster their own culture,when the divergence among them becomes litter,the confict and misunderstanding will arise as a result.People who do not understand other people's dialect will continue to ignore their existence in the public place.And then,the whole will be divided into many small groups.

In conclusion,as I have mentioned above,the use of dialect will cause many problem,for ourselves,it will reduce the efficiency of obtaining information.For our country,it will make us less competitive,and even it will cause misunderstanding and conflict among different group of people.So I think,the use of dialect should not be accepted.

评分标准:

14分~12分,尚可作文:文章基本合格但仍有一些不当表达之处(passable communication with some inaccuracies)。

文章达到了大部分写作要求。总体来看,文章结构清晰,但是文章关联度差,文中仍有相当多的不连贯之处,表达含糊,以及例证的缺乏。词汇拼写和语法错误时有出现,因此也在一定程度上导致文章意义难以理解。大体说来,写作者还是具备一定的语言运用能力,但是文章仍在一定程度上对读者造成理解障碍。The writing adequately addresses most of the writing task.On the whole,it demonstrates an adequately developed organizational structure,though there may occasionally be a lack of relevance,clarity,consistency or support.It has occasional errors of vocabulary,spelling,punctuation or syntax,which may,from time to time,obscure meaning,and for the most part it displays some ability to use the language with appropriateness.Occasional diffculty is experienced by the reader.

例文:

尚可作文(得分:13~14,展开较好,语言流畅,发展平缓)

Mandarin Should Be Used in Public Places

Recently,it is common to see that,at a big city's subway station,employees have been busy learning dialects of other parts of the country.As regards to this phenomenon,opinions differ among different groups of people.But for me,I strongly advocate the use of mandarin in public places,which is based on the following reasons.

Firstly,mandarin,serving as the standard of Chinese language,must be promoted to use everywhere.Because China is a multi-national country that has totally fifty-six peoples in the Chinese vast land,supposed that each nationality only has one dialect,therewill be ffty-six dialects in China.However,in a matter of fact,the number of Chinese dialects is far more than this.In the case of it,the use of dialects in public places,at the subway station,in the company,at school,to name just a few,will arouse a great deal of troubles.For instance,if you are a recipient in a grand hotel,you must learn many dialects for you will encounter customers from various places in our country.It is impossible,so mandarin comes into being to solve this problem.

Secondly,as a country of sovereign,China must have an official language for the sake of communications with other countries in the world.Mandarin is the best choice for it is easy to learn and sounds beautiful.The popularity of mandarin in China has brought about the prosperity and solidarity of Chinese nationality,economically and politically.

Last but not least,mandarin is used more and more widely in the world stage,which shows the great national pride for all the Chinese.Wherever you hear the mandarin abroad,a fix of warm feeling strikes you from head to feet.Mandarin,what a kind of beautiful language in the world;you will never have such kind of feeling before,I bet.

In a nutshell,I contend that mandarin should be used not only in public places in China,but also in more and more places in other countries in the world.Mandarin will long live!

评分标准:

11分~9分,问题作文:文章包含大量表达不当之处(problematic communica-tion with frequent inaccuracies)。

文章只是达到了写作的某些要求。文章结构组织不清晰,缺乏关联度,不连贯,表达含糊,细节匮乏。频繁出现词汇、拼写、标点、语法错误,写作者语言运用能力有限。文章有相当多的理解障碍。The writing only addresses some of the writing task.It demonstrates an inadequate organizational structure,and there may quite often be a lack of relevance,clarity,consistency or support.It has frequent errors of vocabulary,spelling,punctuation or syntax,and it displays a limited ability to use the language with appropriateness.Some diffculty is experienced by the reader.

例文:

问题作文(得分:11,优点:审题准确,视角清楚,有展开;缺点:结构不平衡)

Are Dialects Acceptable in Public Places?

Putonghua is the only standard service sector language in our country.But recently many people from many business sectors are busy studying many kinds of dialects.As forme,we should encourage this activity when we promote Putonghua.The reason is that the dialects have their own advantages.

Firstly,we know that the language is the carrier of the culture of the people who use it.Dialects are no exception.Different dialects keep their different heritages of the users with them.In our country,people from the south and north use quite different dialects.And from these dialects we know the different characteristics of the people and also can work out the places they lived in.

Secondly,the promotion of the use of the dialects in public places is the requirement of the effective communication.Today is the time of wide-opening.We not only open to the outside world but also open to the inside world.That is to say that we also encourage the deeper communication between the different regions within the country.People,today,are free to move from one place to another place to study,do business or pursuit comfortable life.Then the language barrier occurs between people.In order to make their work go on smoothly or to bring their studies to success,they begin to study each other's success or even be observed into other's culture.In this case,you may say that people could use Putonghua as their common tool for communication.However,the question is that it is very hard for those who speak dialects to change their mother languages;but the dialects are easier to be learnt than Putonghua.The reason is that people often take the dialects for the interesting things.

In short,the dialects show us the different culture of their users.They also make the communication smooth and easy.On the other hand,when you communicate with others,if you use their dialects,it will make them feel intimate.Therefore,we should encourage the use of dialects.

评分标准:

8分~6分,失败作文:文章基本没有达到写作要求(almost no communi-cation)。

文章结构组织混乱,不连贯。文中几乎每句都有词汇、拼写、标点、语法的错误,写作者不具备语言运用能力。整篇文章难以理解。The writing almost completely fails to address the writing task.It has neither an organizational structure nor coherence.Almost all sentences contain errors of vocabulary,spelling,punctuation or syntax,and it displays no ability to use the language with appropriateness.Even after considerable effort on the part of the reader,the text is largely incomprehensible.

例文:

失败作文(得分:5~6,跑题,不是讲普通话的优点)

Are Dialects Just as Acceptable in Public Places?

Nowadays,our government makes policy to promote Putonghua.We choose one day as putonghua's holiday,encourage people learning Putonghua.But some people thought learning dialects of other parts of the country can get better help.I cannot support this point.

I think learning Putonghua is very important.There are fve advantages.First,reduce the communication problems.As we know,China is the big country and there are the largest population in the world.There are ffty-six nationalities.In consequence,different dialects in different areas,nations even people.People's ability is limited,cannot learn every dialect and use it very well.Why should we use language?Although we come from different areas,we can talk each other.

Putonghua is the best choice for better communication.Second,improve speed of communication.If you are travel to another area,you need to some information in this area.But local people can't understand why did you say.You can't get help even you are in trouble.Third,get to better help.If people all use Putonghua,they don't know whether you are local person.So they can't cheat on you when you are asking for help or shopping.Forth,help us building harmoniously society.Our country is building our society.Our country is building our society systems are better for person.We need union all nations and keep balance and friendly.We all use Putonghua can help us make better communication to know each other for further.So it is one important to building harmoniously society.Fifth,set up to a good image.Beijing was hold the Olympics Games last year.There were many volunteers service for travelers.They use their smell and movements move the world,and expression Beijing Olympic Game is the best.Putonghua is necessary,that is an image stand for our country and show the world our power is height level.

In the world,Putonghua is the only an image of our country,but also takes more help for our communication.Let's learn Putonghua together. 60tkacQFKesSAzjOldTkZ0Mzx7epyr06ocOvLje1wt6jmISFNOkosspVYqvTs3lI

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