The past is good for two things: the happy memories, and the lessons it provides.

That is why as each year ends I partake in an intense experience that focuses on these values, creates an important sense of closure and helps greatly to ensure a happy New Year.

To embrace what is worthwhile from the previous year and leave the rest behind you—instead of holding onto grudges and regrets, as so many unfortunately do much to the detriment of their emotional and physical health—and to ensure your New Year is happy, I encourage you to try this experience. And to share it with those you love.

Take some time to ponder and create two lists:

One, your Top Five Most Important Lessons Learned in the Year.

And two, your Top Five Favorite Memories of the Year.

Now before you race off to do this, read the rest of this short article. It provides important perspective on doing this.

First and foremost , remember that the key aspect of this intense experience is to “take some time to ponder” it.

In today’s go-go faster-faster world, you may be tempted to rush through this experience, to treat it like another task to get off your to-do list.

But you just invested 8760 or so hours of your life in the previous year. To pull what is worth pulling from it, to give it proper perspective and proper closure, it surely deserves some of your focused conscious energy.

Remember the Wisdom of a Child

Maybe you lost half your investments this year. Or your job. Or your house. Or you faced health challenges. Or worse.

Well, you have two options :

One, dwell on the negative, self- defeating questions like “How could I be so stupid?” or “How could God let this happen to me?”

Those are not really questions but unchecked emotional responses that will only drive your spirit, health, relationships and more into the ground.

Your other option is to ponder what positive lessons you were graced with from whatever you experienced in the year. And to be thankful for them, as you have the gift of life and consciousness and therefore the ability to do something with those lessons.

For example, I personally went through some very painful relationship experiences and business experiences this past year. I could choose to beat myself up over them, or point the finger at others and say, “How could you?” I could choose to drown in the pain.

But a child doesn’t touch fire, get burned , and then spend the rest of his days—or even hours— lamenting how this could have happened to him. He learns not to touch the fire and twenty minutes later he is happily playing again.

In this past year two of the things I learned, or learned even more, are that:

No matter how much you have invested, sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is let go.

Deep love is hard work and worth every ounce of it.

So, whether from challenging experiences or wonderful experiences, what top five lessons did you learn from the previous year?

Don’t Bang on the Beehive

To focus on your top five (or ten, or twenty) favorite memories of the year likely seems like good advice, but not profound advice.

But as with so many sensible actions, what seems so obvious when anyone thinks about it is unfortunately not what many people tend to do.

Instead, for example, when discussing the past year I have already heard so many people stating how bad it was. I hear them recalling all the bad memories.

This follows so many people’s tendency to dwell on what is wrong, what they don’t have, what they lack.

And this is as dangerous and unhealthy as it gets. It is like banging on a beehive.

Because here is a universal law: whatever you seek, you will find plenty of.

If you are focused on bad memories, problems, and things to complain about, you will most certainly find them. They will swarm your mind, your heart, and sting your life.

Likewise , if you are focused on good memories, the beauty in the world, and things to feel grateful for, you will most certainly find them too. They will nourish your mind, your heart, and allow your life to blossom .

I am grateful my son is attending college as a freshman and, all things considered, doing well. I am grateful for all the wonderful holiday gatherings with my family. I am grateful for being able to put the new Life Story Book out there for the world. I am grateful for the beautiful woman in my life. And I am grateful for so many kind words I receive from readers of the Intense Experiences newsletter .

So what are your top five favorite memories of the past year?

What are the most important lessons you learned from the year?

Put them out there, and put your gratitude for them out there, for the world, for the universe, for God to hear.

Share them with your family, and pass this article on to those you care about and ask them to share theirs with you.

What you put out, after all, is what you get back. And that will make for a very happy New Year for you. MwTe25MCRLNMJN6z8ddNoI+d/jQRkGN0sVcg0dx8WxoUQ0BlQqknl6eQey6LZ4Pb