The summer passed away, and autumn in its garb of mist came creeping over the heath. Red sunbeams wandered wearily along the edge of the wood, and the heather lowered its purple head. At this time in the Howdahs, which till now had been quieter than usual, strange sounds began to be heard. Like the knocking of hammers and the tone of bells at the same time, they sounded far over the heath in strict rhythm, at times louder, at times softer, but always with a harmonious echo, which slowly died away into the air.
The villagers stopped, wondering, on the road. One of them asked, "What is going on at Meyerhofer's?"
And another said, "It almost sounds as if he had built himself a forge."
"He will never forge luck," said a third, and they separated, laughing.
The father, who as usual had sat in his corner yawning and grumbling, started up at the first sound, and called the twins to account for it. But they knew nothing either, but that quite early that day a workman had come from the town with files, hammers, and a solder-box, and had had a long conference with Paul, who held in his hand all sorts of plans and designs. They quickly ran to look, and this was what they found:
Behind the shed stood "Black Susy," surrounded with a wooden scaffolding like a lady in her crinoline, and on the scaffolding Paul and the foreman climbed busily about, hammering, examining, and screwing in rivets.
Full of wonder, the twins looked at each other, for they guessed that something grand was in preparation; but they did not deem it necessary to bring these tidings to their father, for they remembered that two little letters they had written had to be quickly and secretly taken to the post by the servant-girl.
Paul, however, stood high up on "Black Susy's" round back, leaning against the slender chimney, and looked longingly towards the moor, like Columbus about to discover a new world.
The first steps on the hazardous road were taken.
In the long, sleepless nights which followed his mother's death, when grief held his soul in iron claws, he had fled from the melancholy image of the deceased to his books. Like a mole he burrowed his way through the dark theories, and when his head buzzed and his body became exhausted from the exciting brain-work, he would cry out to himself, "Her last hope shall not be disappointed!" Then he stretched his limbs, and a new impulse of energy flashed into his brain, and on and on he went, working restlessly till the iron riddle solved itself harmoniously, till each lever was transformed into a muscle, each tube into an artery, contrived on the wisest plans, like a human body by the spirit of the eternal Creator.
Weeks and months passed. Meantime his mind was so completely absorbed by this thirst for knowledge, this desire to create, that all that which had previously harassed him vanished like a distant shadow. His mother's image became more and more peaceful, and seemed to smile upon him. The harvest became multiplied in the barn as if carried thither by invisible hands, and on the day when the last bundle of oats was unloaded before the stack he clapped his hand to his forehead and exclaimed, "It seems to me only yesterday since I saw the first car!"
The more his knowledge increased and ripened, so much the more the anxiety to succeed arose in his soul. When he wrote to the blacksmith, his heart beat like that of a student before his examination. He shunned bringing his deeds to the light as though to mention them were a crime, for he feared being laughed at. But the constant hammering proclaimed the news to the world.
The new foreman had to sit at their own table, and the father marked his disapprobation of him by refusing to greet his entrance, and muttering a great deal into his plate about fools and parasites.
But nobody heeded him, and the work quietly proceeded. According to Paul's directions, the machine was taken to pieces and sounded in every one of its minutest parts. The faults which a professional engineer would have discovered at the first glance, these two men had to search out and explain to each other with the greatest trouble. A dispute between them would often last for hours, like meetings of the senate.
Once the foreman asked, impatiently, "Why the devil do you not send the thing to a workshop to be repaired?"
Paul started. That, indeed, was an idea! It seemed to him quite a new one to—day, and yet it had often come into his mind before. But he had never liked to yield to it, for it seemed to him too daring and absurd; and, besides, he was too much afraid they might return "Susy" as "past mending." He was like that peasant woman who preferred doctoring her husband to death herself to being told by the doctor "he cannot be saved."
When it had grown dark, and the workmen and servants had ceased working, he used to poke about the work-room aimlessly for another hour or so, simply because he could not tear himself away from "Susy." He would have liked best to stand near her as watchman until the morning. He liked to carry with him under his arm some of his plans or a book. This, also, was aimless, for it was dark—he only wanted to have everything nicely in order. All this happened in great secrecy, for no one had a firmer conviction that Paul was a fool than Paul himself.
One evening, when he was searching in the dark for one of his books to take there with him, he put his hand upon something long and round, carefully wrapped up in tissue-paper in the farthest corner of a drawer.
He could feel in the darkness how he blushed. It was Elsbeth's flute. How was it possible that he had so seldom bestowed a thought upon it or upon the giver? The fair form that he had seen for the last time on the darkest day of his life had gradually faded from his mind as his existence passed into the shadowy realm of sorrow, and now at last, from sheer trouble and care, she had become to him like a shadow herself.
For the first moment he could scarcely recall her features. It was only little by little that her image presented itself to his mind.
He took the flute instead of the books under his arm, crept away to the shed, and sat down on the boiler. He fingered the keys with curiosity; he also put the mouth-piece to his lips, but did not dare to produce a sound, for he did not want to disturb any one's sleep.
"It would be nice," he said to himself, "if I could play all sorts of sweet melodies and think of Elsbeth all the while; I could then once more pour out my heart to her, and feel that I, too, was something in the world. But, then, am I in the world for myself alone?" he asked himself, absently laying hold of one of the crooked handles. "As this crooked handle turns and turns without knowing why, and in itself is nothing but a piece of dead iron, so I, too, must turn and turn, and not ask 'Why!' There are said to be people in the world who have the right to live for themselves, and to mould the world according to their own wishes. But they are differently constituted from me; they are handsome and proud and daring, and the sun always shines upon them. They may even allow themselves the privilege of possessing a heart and acting according to its dictates. But I! Oh, good God!" He paused, and sadly contemplated the flute, the keys of which dimly shone in the dusk.
"If I were such a one," he continued, after a while, "I should have become a celebrated musician. I know very well there are many melodies in my brain which no one else has ever whistled; and when I had attained my end I should have married Elsbeth—and father would have been rich, and mother happy; but now mother is dead—father is a poor cripple—Elsbeth will take another—and I stand here looking at the flute and can't play on it."
He laughed out loud, and then slid to the front, so that he could reach the chimney. He stroked it, and said, "But I will learn to play this flute that it'll be a pleasure to hear."
As he sat there he fancied he heard subdued tittering and whispering in the garden. He listened; there was no doubt of it. A pair of lovers were cooing, or, perhaps, more than one pair, for divers voices were intermingled, like the twittering of a number of sparrows.
"The maids keep sweethearts, it seems to me," he said; "I'll show them the way out."
He fetched a whip, which was hanging on the stable door, and climbed over the farthest part of the garden fence to waylay the intruders.
Then suddenly he stopped short as if turned to stone, his eyes starting out of his head, and the whip trembling in his hand. He had distinguished his sisters' voices.
He leaned against the trunk of a tree and listened.
"Does he leave you in peace now?" one of the lovers asked, in a whisper.
"He has too much to do with his machine just now," Greta's voice replied; "even his unpalatable sermons he spares us."
"You have never heeded them, anyhow!"
Greta giggled. "In spite of all his dignity he is only a stupid boy, and he understands nothing about love; as long as I can remember he has hung about Elsbeth Douglas; but do you suppose he has ever once dared raise his eyes to her? She, of course, would not dream of taking such a languishing idiot. There is her cousin Leo—he is quite another fellow."
His heart threatened to stop beating, but he went on listening.
"I can't understand why you obey him at all," said the voice of her lover; "we have always given him a thrashing first, and then let him go, and in return he would beg our pardon. One has only to oppose him firmly, he is such a coward!"
"Just wait a bit, you rogue!" thought Paul, who now knew whom he had before him.
But Greta answered, eagerly: "Oh, fie! he has not deserved that from us. He loves us so much that we really ought to be ashamed to deceive him; whatever he sees that we want he gives us, and I could swear that it is nothing but love that makes him so sad. So one mustn't mind now and then taking a sermon into the bargain, especially if one pays no attention to it afterwards!"
"It's a good thing I know that," thought Paul, and crept round in a half-circle, till he came to the arbor where the other couple were sitting.
There it was very much quieter; only from time to time a kiss or a giggle sounded from the darkness among the trees. Then he heard Kate's voice:
"And why did you dance so much with Matilda last Sunday?"
"That is a horrid calumny," answered the other brother. "What gossip told you that?"
"The vicar's daughter Hedwig told me."
"I like that! She is jealous of you; that's the whole story. How she looked at me last Sunday! I thought my hair would be singed."
"Oh, the false girl!"
"Well, don't grieve about that. You are all false! My sweet little lark, my sunshine, my little madcap, lay your head on my knee, I want to ruffle your hair."
"So?"
"No; you are lying on my watch-chain. That's right! Sing me something."
"What shall I sing about?"
"About love!"
"First earn it, you rogue!"
Then all was quiet for a while. Presently Katie began to warble, softly,
"'The nightingale on the lilac-bush
Sang night's soft hours away;
I heard a crash, a gentle push,
My window-pane gave way!
"'I ran to see the cause in haste,
At night's soft witching hour,
And there I found a ladder placed—
A man stood by my bower.
La, la, la!'"
"Go on singing!"
"Oh no, it really is not proper."
"Why, then, did you begin it?"
She giggled and was silent.
"Sing me something else."
"Before I sing give me a kiss!" A short struggle; then his voice:
"What? first you want one, and then you struggle, you cat!"
"Here I am."
"Leave go! d——n it, you scratch!"
"If you take another girl I will scratch out your eyes!"
"Anything else?"
"No; I will lie down under a juniper-bush and starve myself to death. You must come to my funeral. Oh, that will be beautiful! Now just pay attention; I know a beautiful verse:
"'What my love for you is, have you known?
There is on the heath a grave all alone;
In it a poor dead poet is sleeping,
To whom his love has brought much weeping;
He sleeps and sleeps in his sombre grave,
But sleeps not away the grief love gave.
At midnight go to the grave on the heath,
And wait till he again shall breathe;
He knows the singing and kissing well,
And he can tell—'
"Isn't that pretty?"
"Very pretty! Who taught you that, Kitty?"
"I once found it in a book of songs which belonged to mother. I almost think she made it herself."
During this conversation Paul had stood there stupefied with horror; but when he heard his mother's name his anger overpowered him, and he cracked his whip over the heads of the couple, so that the withered leaves of the arbor flew rustling about.
With a loud cry they all sprang up. No sooner had the brothers recognized him than they attempted to make off; but the girls clung to them whimpering. They sought protection against their own brother.
"Come here!" he called out to them. Then they left their lovers and flew to one another for mutual protection.
The two Erdmanns receded farther still.
"You stay here!" he cried.
"What do you want with us?" said the elder one, who was the first to recover his impudence.
"You shall answer to me for your conduct."
"You know where we are to be found," said the younger one, and pulled his brother by the coat-tail as a hint to escape with him. But at this moment Paul seized him by the throat.
"Leave go!" he screamed.
"You come into the house with me."
"Oh no; rather not," said the elder one.
"I don't know at all what you want with us," said the younger one, who, under the iron grasp of Paul's fist, was not a little frightened. "We love your sisters; we have nothing to do with you."
"And if you love them, don't you know where the door is, through which you might have come to woo them? Robbers that you are!"
At this moment Ulrich had torn his brother from Paul's grasp; and before he could collect his senses they both flew in hot haste through the garden, leaped the fence, and disappeared in the darkness of the heath.
Completely stunned, he turned round and saw his sisters crouching behind the trunk of a tree.
"Come!" he said, pointing towards the house, and, sobbing, they followed him.
When they wanted to slip away to their own room, he said, opening the door of the parlor, "In here." Trembling, they crouched down in a corner, for they did not know what punishment he would inflict upon them.
He lit the candle himself, took up the family album and took out a picture.
"Now come to your room." Like two returning penitents they crept slowly behind him.
"Who is that?" he asked, in his severest voice, pointing to the picture. It was a portrait of their mother, taken in early youth, almost effaced by the lapse of time. But they recognized it very well, and, wringing their hands, fell on their knees before the bed and sobbed pitifully on the pillow.
And then they confessed everything to him. It was worse than he had ever imagined.
A dreadful silence ensued. Paul stepped to the window and looked out into the night.
"Thank God you are dead, mother!" he said, folding his hands.
Then they wept aloud, crept up to him on their knees, and wanted to kiss his hands. He stroked their hair. He loved them far too well.
"Children, children!" he said, sinking down in a chair, almost as helpless as they were.
"Scold us, Paul," sobbed Kate.
"No, rather beat us," urged Greta; "we have deserved it."
He passed his hand across his brow. It all still seemed to him like a bad dream.
"How could this have happened?" he murmured. "Have I watched over you so badly?"
"They said they—wanted to—marry us!" Kate gasped out.
"When the year of mourning was over, the wedding was to be," added Greta.
"And if they said that, they shall keep their word," he said, endeavoring to console himself. "Do not kneel to me, children, kneel down before God—you need it. This portrait henceforth shall stand on your little table every night. Will you then still have courage to pursue the path of shame? Good-night."
They rushed after him and entreated him to stay with them, "they were so frightened!" but he disengaged himself gently from them and went up to his garret, where he sat and brooded in the dark. He was so deeply ashamed that he thought he should never more be able to bear the light of day.
The next morning he sent for the foreman and paid him off.
The good man looked up into his face quite aghast. "But now, Mr.
Meyerhofer, when all is going on so well?" he said.
"Yes, going on so well," he murmured, thoughtfully. "Shame added to misfortune!—the man is right."
"Something has upset me," he then said, "which has given me a disgust for work. Let us leave it for the moment, and when the time comes I will send for you again."
His father bitterly complained over the disturbance in the night. "What were you storming about in the garden?" he asked. "I heard your voice!"
"Thieves were after the apples," replied Paul.
The twins had red, swollen eyes, and did not dare to raise them from the ground.
"So that's how fallen girls look," thought Paul, and promised to be as strict with them as a jailer. But when he spoke harshly to them for the first time, and they looked up at him with a pained, humble glance, like two penitent Magdalenes, he was so much overcome by pity that he folded them weeping in his arms, and said, "Compose yourselves, children; all will yet be well."
He was under the firm conviction that the two Erdmanns would not let the day pass without coming to the Haidehof. "Their consciences will bring them," he said to himself. He felt so sure of it that after dinner he strongly urged his father, who in his laziness had become very slovenly, to put on his new coat, as visitors of importance were expected. His father yielded, grumbling, and was doubly angry afterwards when he found that the immense exertion had been quite useless.
"They will come to-morrow," said Paul to himself when he went to bed; "they have not had the courage to-day."
But the next day passed, too, without anybody appearing, and so the whole week went by.
Paul ran about the house as if distracted. Every ten minutes he was to be seen standing at the gate and looking out over the heath, so that the servants nudged one another and began to whisper all sorts of nonsense.
"It is a pity," he said to himself, "that I am still so innocent, and have not the least experience in love matters; otherwise I should know what I ought to do."
An agonizing fear began to master him, and he tossed about in his bed unable to sleep.
"I must make matters easy for them," he thought one morning, and ordered the basket carriage, which a short time ago he had bought at an auction, to be got ready, and drove to Lotkeim, the Erdmanns' estate, which they kept up together since their parents' death.
His heart felt a pang of shame and wrath as now, like one soliciting a favor, he entered the estate of those who had already injured him so much through his life. Little was wanting to make him turn round again at the gate, but his hands clasped the reins more firmly, and his lips murmured, "It is no question of what you feel."
He drove across the grass-grown yard, on which high thorn-bushes were blooming, and which was flanked by big, though much-neglected, farm-buildings, and stopped before the house, the shutters of which were painted in black and white circles, probably because they were sometimes used for targets.
"It is no honor to marry one's sisters here; but they can no longer lay claim to much honor," he thought, tying his horse to the entrance rail, for no human soul was to be seen who could have taken the reins; only from a distant shed came the measured sound of the flails.
At the moment that he entered the hall he fancied he heard a confusion of voices and then the opening and shutting of the back doors. Then, suddenly, all was still.
He entered the parlor, in which the remains of their breakfast was standing, and which was still filled with cigar smoke. For some time he stood there waiting. Then a scraggy woman slipped through the door of the next room with an embarrassed grin.
"My masters are not at home," she said, without waiting for his question; "they drove away early this morning and will not be back for some time."
"It does not matter; I will wait."
The old woman began to chatter and explain that it would be quite useless to wait; she never knew beforehand when they would come back; often they stayed away all night, and so on. Meanwhile he fancied he heard a dog-cart rattling out of the yard in the greatest haste. He jumped up, alarmed, for he thought that his horse had broken loose, but he saw it quietly standing in its place; then a suspicion arose within him—a suspicion which a minute before he would have thrust back indignantly.
The old house-keeper did not dare to turn him out; and, unmolested, but also without food or drink, he sat there waiting till the evening. When it was dark he set out on his way home, discouraged and humiliated.
Next morning he returned, this time also in vain. The third day he found the gate firmly bolted. A brand-new padlock was hanging on the hasp. It seemed to have been purchased especially for him.
Then he could no longer doubt that the brothers avoided him on purpose. "They are ashamed to look me in the face," he said to himself; "I will write to them."
But when he took up his pen to compel himself to write friendly words of reconciliation, such disgust at his own undignified deed overcame him that he crushed it to pieces on the table, and paced about the room, moaning aloud.
"I must first go and collect my strength," he said, and crept noiselessly to the girls' room. They sat at the window, spoke not a word, and stared with white faces into the distance; then one let her head sink against the other's shoulder, and said, gently and sadly,
"They will not come any more."
"They are afraid of him," sighed the sister.
And then they relapsed again into silence.
"Ah!" he said, breathing heavily, while he crept back to his room, "I knew that would help me."
Then he took a clean sheet of paper and wrote a beautiful letter, in which he expounded to the brothers that he was no longer angry with them—that he would forgive them everything if they would restore the lost honor to his sisters.
"To-morrow they will be here," he said, with a sigh of relief, when he dropped the letter into the box. For the rest of the day he wandered about on the heath, for he did not dare to look any one in the face, so much was he ashamed-of himself.
But the Erdmanns did not come.
* * * * *
It was on Christmas Eve, shortly before twilight. The heath lay deep in snow, and from the leaden sky fresh masses of flakes were descending. Then Paul saw that his sisters secretly took their hats and cloaks, and tried to make their escape by the back door.
He hastened after them. "Where do you want to go?"
Then they began to cry, and Kate said, "Please, please do not ask us." But he felt a dreadful anxiety arise within him, and, grasping their arms, he said, "I shall follow you if you won't confess."
Then Kate gasped out, sobbing, "We are going to mother's grave."
Horror overcame him that they should go to that holy place; but he took care not to let them see it.
"No, children," he said, stroking their cheeks, "I can't allow that; it would excite you too much; the snow is so deep, too, on the heath, and it will soon be dark."
"But some one must go there," said Kate, timidly, "it is Christmas Eve to-day."
"You are right, sister," he replied, "I will go myself. You stay with father and light a few candles for him. Please God, I shall bring you home some comfort."
They let themselves be persuaded, and went back into the house.
But he put on a warm coat, took his cap, and walked out into the dusk.
"You must lock the gates to-night," he said, before he left the yard, for he had a dull presentiment that he would only come home late at night, were it only for the sake of roaming about in the snow.
The white heath lay silent. Deep under the snow lay the withered flowers, and where a juniper-bush had stood before there was now a little white heap that looked like a mole-hill. Even the stems of the pollard willows were white, but only on the side against which the wind had blown.
Painfully he walked on across the snow-covered heath, at every step sinking in over his ankles. From time to time a crow flew through the air with heavy wings, fighting with difficulty against the snow-storm.
There was no path or road to be seen…. The three long fir-trees, which in the distance stood out against the sky like black phantoms, were the only sign by which he could direct his footsteps.
The golden streak, which for a few moments had flamed upon the horizon, vanished; lower and lower the shadows were sinking, and when Paul had reached the wall of the cemetery, which towered above him like a ghostly rampart, it had become quite dark; but the freshly-fallen snow gave an uncertain light, so that he hoped to find his mother's grave soon.
The gate was snowed up—the snow had been heaped up by the wind; nowhere was an entrance to be discovered.
So he groped his way with difficulty along the hedge, from which, here and there, a black twig stretched forth its sharp thorns out of the white covering, till his arms sank deeper into the snow without meeting any resistance.
From there he forced his way to the inner cemetery.
The firs greeted him with a hollow moan, and a raven which had been sitting in the snow flew up noiselessly and circled round their tops restlessly, like a poor soul that cannot find peace.
When he saw the snow-covered plain in its pale uniformity lying before his eyes a terror overcame him, for he saw no sign by which to distinguish his mother's grave. There was no cross on the mound, for he had not had money to buy one, but the mound itself lay dead under the levelling expanse of snow.
A torturing anxiety seized him; he felt as if he had now lost the very last thing that he possessed in life.
And with a trembling hand he began to grope about in the snow, from one mound to the other—a long row, from among which, here and there, a wreath or a little cypress-tree stood out in the dusk.
"Here rests this one, here that one." He knew almost every grave and who reposed beneath it.
And at last his groping hand hurt itself against a piece of glass that stuck out from underneath…. He stopped and felt carefully all round…. The fragment must be the one which Greta had carried out in early spring to plant asters in; a piece of a green bottle with sharp-pointed edges— yes, here it was. The faded stalks were still in it. And near it the wreath, the heather wreath, which appeared to be frozen stiff, like a stone ring; he had put it there himself the last time he had been here.
When he saw the little heap of snow, which hid all that was dearest to him, lying so white and still, he fell on his knees, and buried his face in the cool, soft flakes.
"It is all my fault, mother," he lamented; "I have not watched over them, I have let them run wild. Do not judge them, mother, they knew not what they did!… But I implore you, mother, show me how to act! Send me only one word from beyond the grave…. See, I kneel here and do not know what to do."
And then he suddenly felt as if he had no right to lie in that place; he felt as if the shame which his sisters had brought upon themselves was resting on him, too. He called himself a coward, selfish and lazy, because he had remained inactive for such a long time without daring the worst.
"I will do it, mother, this very night," he cried, springing up. "There shall be no question of myself. I will relinquish the last remnant of pride, if only my sisters can be saved." He vowed it with uplifted arms, and hurried out onto the heath.
For wellnigh three hours he struggled along the snowed-up roads. It might have been eight o'clock when he stopped, tired and breathless, before the gates of Lotkeim.
"To-day they shall not escape me," he said, and as he found the gate locked again, he lay down and crept through underneath the fence, as he had seen dogs do.
The windows of the manor-house were brightly lighted up, but as the curtains had been let down, nothing could be seen of the room inside; only snatches of song and laughter floated out into the open air. The house door stood open. He stopped for a moment in the dark hall to stifle the beating of his heart; then he knocked.
Ulrich's voice called out, "Come in!"
There lay the two brothers, stretched out on a long sofa, the feet of the one near the head of the other, a picture of perfect peace of mind and serenity of soul. Each of them balanced a big glass of grog on the palm of his hand, and before them on the table stood a steaming punch-bowl.
They were so startled at the sight of him that they forgot to get up. They were petrified, and remained lying as they were and staring at him.
"I say!" cried Ulrich, who was the first to recover his speech, and Fritz let his glass fall jingling to the ground.
Then the one stooped down and gathered up the fragments of glass with great zeal.
"You can well imagine why I come," said Paul, slowly stepping to the table in his snow-sprinkled garments.
"No!" said Ulrich, who slowly raised himself.
"No idea," chimed in Fritz, who wisely retired behind his brother's back.
"You received my letter, though?" asked Paul.
"We know of no letter," answered the elder one, staring impudently in his face.
"It probably has been lost in the post," the younger added, hastily.
"Only recollect. It was the 16th of November," said Paul.
Then they remembered vaguely that a letter had been delivered to them.
"But we could not make it out and threw it into the fire," said Ulrich.
"Don't use these evasions," Paul answered; "you know quite well what is expected of you."
They shrugged their shoulders, and looked at each other as if he were speaking Spanish to them.
"I have not come to play comedy with you," Paul continued; "you have taken away my sisters' honor and you must restore it to them."
Ulrich scratched his head and said:
"My dear Myerhofer, that is a bad business and can't be so quickly settled. Just sit down and drink a glass of punch with us; then we shall much sooner come to an understanding."
"Yes, much sooner and more comfortably," added Fritz, getting up to fetch two fresh glasses.
"Thank you," said Paul, "I am not thirsty."
The vague feeling was tormenting him that the brothers were laughing at him even now, as they had done all his life. Iron fetters seemed to bind his limbs; he now felt himself quite powerless and disabled.
"Well, if you come to us like that," Ulrich retorted, apparently hurt, "then we will not speak to you at all. I have no mind to have my Christmas Eve spoiled,"
"And to let the punch get cold," Fritz added.
Paul gazed fixedly from one to the other.
How was it possible that those who had so covered themselves with shame could stand before him so proud and impudent, while he, who only came to ask for his rights, trembled and shook like a criminal!
"And if you go home without any consolation!" cried an anxious voice within him. "Do not make them angry; remember what you have vowed to your mother! There must be no question of yourself."
"Well, will you drink or won't you?" Ulrich called out, angrily.
"There must be no question of yourself," cried the voice again. Then he bowed his head, and said, in a husky voice,
"Well, then, please."
The two brothers glanced at each other and smiled, and Fritz, raising his glass, said,
"Merry Christmas!"
"A merry Christmas," he stammered, and swallowed the hot beverage, almost choking, for he was overcome with disgust.
Now he sat in good-fellowship at the same table with the two brothers, he who ought to have been there as an avenger.
"Well, now to end this affair, dear Meyerhofer," Ulrich began. "What is done cannot be undone. We will not stop to inquire whether we ran most after your sisters, or your sisters after us; anyhow, it is just as much their fault as ours. We love them with all our hearts; they are the prettiest girls in the neighborhood, and we are truly sorry when we think that we have injured their reputation; but that we should marry them now you can't possibly expect of us."
Paul cast a hesitating glance at him, and began, dejectedly, "That is the least that—" he did not get any further; he felt as if the blood was freezing in his veins.
"Don't be ridiculous," said Fritz; and Ulrich continued:
"Look here, we would be willing to do it because we think a lot of them, although they have lowered themselves so much"—a spasm of fury darted through Paul's brain, but he controlled himself; "we would fulfil your wish directly, but first tell us what dowry will you give them?"
"I have nothing," stammered Paul.
"There it is," answered Fritz.
"And we want money, a great deal of money," Ulrich continued. "I am the eldest, and if I take the estate for myself alone I must pay Fritz so much to enable him to purchase for himself."
"I will work," Paul gasped out, and looked at the brothers in humble entreaty.
"You have worked already for ten years and have not saved anything."
"The fire came and prevented me," stammered Paul, as if he were asking pardon for the misfortune that had happened to him.
"And next year something else will come and prevent you. No, dear friend, we cannot depend upon that."
The fear that he would have to return to his sisters without bringing any consolation sank deeper and deeper into his heart. He was so overpowered that it loosed his tongue, and he cried out, "But for God's sake, listen to reason. I can't do more than work…. I will work like a slave…. Will work day and night. I will pinch, save, and starve even, and all I earn shall be yours…. Just see…. I have splendid prospects…. The locomobile will soon be repaired … and the moor is very lucrative … it is fifteen feet deep … you can measure it…. The cart-load of peat fetches ten marks … and the dowry shall be paid to the last farthing in yearly instalments."
He gazed at them with expectant eyes, for he felt sure they would seize this offer directly; and when they continued silent, he passed his hand despairingly over his forehead, from which the cold perspiration was streaming, and murmured,
"Well, what more can I do?… Yes, I will do more; I will ask my father to give up the farm to me, and will make it over to you, so that … when my father dies one of you will be master there…. I will go away and take nothing but the clothes I stand up in. Is not that enough for you?"
But still they were silent.
Then he felt as if everything to which his belief had hitherto clung was slipping from him, as if the ground were giving way under his feet, as if he himself were dropped into space. He clasped his hands, his teeth chattered, and he stared at them like a man bereft of reason. "Is it possible, then, you are not willing? really not willing? Can't you understand at all that it is your duty to make amends where you have sinned?… Does not your sense of honor tell you that you may not rob others of their honor?… Does your conscience let you sleep?"
"Stop!" cried Ulrich, who began to feel decidedly uncomfortable.
"No, I will not stop; I cannot go home like this … really I cannot…. Have you no idea, then, of the mischief you have done … of the misery that reigns in my home?" and he shuddered at the remembrance of what he had left there. "If you knew that you would not be so hard…. See, Fritz and Ulrich … I have known you both such a long time…. We have sat together in school … and together … we have knelt before the altar … you always had an ill-will towards me; I have had to bear much from you…. But I will forget everything if only you will make amends for this one thing. You are light-minded, but you are not bad … you cannot be bad… you, too, have had a mother…. I have seen her… she was standing at our confirmation by the third pillar on the left, and crying just as my mother cried, and my mother—oh, fie!" He interrupted himself, for he felt overwhelmed with shame at having mentioned the name of his saint before these scoundrels; but the fear of having to return home without any consolation made him crazy; but he gulped that down, too, and began again, while his thoughts chased each other through his head. "Only think if you went out now to the cemetery and had sisters … who had been betrayed … and you had not watched over those sisters sufficiently … and you dared not touch the snow that lies on the grave … and I were the betrayer … what … what would you do?"
"We should kill you," said Ulrich, glancing at him contemptously.
He uttered a piercing cry, for he now realized how deeply he lowered himself—how he had dragged his pride and honor in the dust. With clinched fists he rushed upon Ulrich, but the latter barricaded himself behind the table, and Fritz rushed to the next room to call the servant.
Then he staggered out.
The gate was locked as before. He did not dare go back to have it opened, so, lying down flat, he crept under the fence like a dog.