Ere the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed, and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I now ventured to descend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on the floor. The spell by which I had been so far supported began to dissolve; reaction took place, and soon, so overwhelming was the grief that seized me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground. Now I wept: Helen Burns was not here; nothing sustained me; left to myself I abandoned myself, and my tears watered the boards. I had meant to be so good, and to do so much at Lowood: to make so many friends, to earn respect and win affection. Already I had made visible progress: that very morning I had reached the head of my class; Miss Miller had praised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiled approbation;she had promised to teach me drawing, and to let me learn French, if I continued to make similar improvement two months longer: and then I was well received by my fellow pupils;treated as an equal by those of my own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay again crushed and trodden on; and could I ever rise more?
半个小时不到,五点的钟声敲响了。放学了,所有人都去餐厅喝茶。我这才敢从凳子上下来,暮色已深,我躲到角落里,坐在地板上。一直支撑着我的那股魔力开始消散,我逐渐反应过来,难以抗拒的悲伤一涌而上,我面朝下趴倒在地上。我哭了起来,海伦·伯恩斯不在这里,我没有了支撑。剩下我一个人,任由自己的眼泪打湿地板。我原本打算做个好孩子,在洛伍德有所作为,与人为善,赢得尊重和喜爱。我已经取得了明显的进步。就在那个早晨,我因在班里名列前茅,米勒小姐热情地夸奖了我,坦普尔小姐还投来微笑表示赞许。她许诺,如果我这两个月继续取得类似进步,她会教我画画,让我学习法语,同学们也都愿意接纳我。我的同龄人对我平等相待,没有人欺负我。现在,我又被击垮,被践踏,我还能站起来吗?
"Never," I thought; and ardently I wished to die. While sobbing out this wish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up—again Helen Burns was near me; the fading fires just showed her coming up the long, vacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.
“不可能了。”我想,我甚至不想活了。正当我哭着说出这个愿望时,有人来了。我吓得跳了起来——海伦·伯恩斯又出现在我身边。微暗的炉火投射出她的身影,她走过长长的空教室,给我端来了面包和咖啡。
"Come, eat something," she said; but I put both away from me, feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my present condition. Helen regarded me, probably with surprise: I could not now abate my agitation, though I tried hard; I continued to weep aloud. She sat down on the ground near me, embraced her knees with her arms, and rested her head upon them; in that attitude she remained silent as an Indian. I was the first who spoke—
“来吧,吃点东西。”她说。但我把它们都推开了,感觉现在这个状态,一滴咖啡或是一点面包屑都会让我窒息。海伦看着我,或许有些惊讶。此刻我无法克制激动的情绪,继续嚎啕大哭。她在我身边坐下来,手臂抱着双膝,头轻靠在上面,她按这种姿势保持沉默,就像印第安人一样。我先开口:
"Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be a liar?"
“海伦,你为什么要跟一个人人都相信是骗子的女孩儿在一起?”
"Everybody, Jane? Why, there are only eighty people who have heard you called so, and the world contains hundreds of millions."
“人人吗,简?为什么?只有八十个人听到你被那样称呼,而世上还有千千万万的人呢。”
"But what have I to do with millions? The eighty, I know, despise me."
“但这千千万万的人跟我何干?我知道,那八十个人都鄙视我。”
"Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school either despises or dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.”
“简,你错了,也许学校里没有人鄙视你或讨厌你。我确定,很多人都非常同情你。”
"How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?"
“布罗克赫斯特先生说了那番话之后,她们怎么会再同情我呢?”
"Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great and admired man: he is little liked here; he never took steps to make himself liked. Had he treated you as an especial favourite, you would have found enemies, declared or covert, all around you; as it is, the greater number would offer you sympathy if they dared. Teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two, but friendly feelings are concealed in their hearts; and if you persevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long appear so much the more evidently for their temporary suppression. Besides, Jane”—she paused.
“布罗克赫斯特先生不是神,甚至算不上令人敬仰的伟人。这里没什么人喜欢他,他也从来不想办法让人喜欢。如果他对你特别好,在你周围反而会有人公开或是私下地与你为敌。而现在,如果她们敢的话,反而会有很多人同情你。在这一两天里,老师和学生也许会对你态度冷淡,但她们内心都藏着友好的态度,如果你坚持好好表现,她们暂时压抑的情感很快便会显现得更加清楚。而且,简——”她暂停了一下。
"Well, Helen?"said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed my fingers gently to warm them, and went on—
“嗯,海伦?”我说道,把手放到她手里。她轻轻揉着我的手指,把它们暖和过来,然后接着说:
"If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends."
“如果整个世界都恨你,相信你是个坏人,但只要你问心无愧,堂堂正正,就不会没有朋友。”
"No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is not enough: if others don't love me I would rather die than live—I cannot bear to be solitary and hated, Helen. Look here; to gain some real affection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love, I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken, or to let a bull toss me, or to stand behind a kicking horse, and let it dash its hoof at my chest—”
“不,我知道我应该肯定自己,但这并不够。如果其他人不爱我,我宁愿去死而不愿活着——我不能忍受孤独和仇恨,海伦。听着,为了能从你,坦普尔小姐,或是其他我真正爱的人那里获得真情实感,我愿意胳膊被摔断,或是受公牛攻击,或是站在一匹踢人的马后面,让马蹄狠狠地踢在我的胸口——”
"Hush, Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; you are too impulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that created your frame, and put life into it, has provided you with other resources than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you. Besides this earth, and besides the race of men, there is an invisible world and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it is everywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned to guard us;and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us on all sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recognise our innocence (if innocent we be:as I know you are of this charge which Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at secondhand from Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and on your clear front), and God waits only the separation of spirit from flesh to crown us with a full reward. Why, then, should we ever sink overwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death is so certain an entrance to happiness—to glory?”
“嘘,简!你把人类的爱看得太重,你太冲动、太激烈了。那双创造了你的身体并给予你生命的至高无上的手,除了造就虚弱的你或是其他像你一样虚弱的生物之外,还给了你别的财富。除了这个地球和人类,还存在一个无形的世界,一个灵魂的王国。那个世界围绕着我们,因为它无处不在。那些灵魂关注着我们,因为它们奉命保护我们。如果我们在痛苦和耻辱中走向死亡,如果我们受尽各方的白眼并被仇恨击垮,天使会看到我们的磨难,相信我们是无辜的(如果我们确实无辜的话。我知道布罗克赫斯特先生对你的指控是从里德夫人那里听来的,既无力又傲慢,因为我从你热情的眼睛和明净的额头上看到了真诚的天性。)只有等灵魂与肉体相分离时,上帝才会给我们充分的奖赏。那么,既然生命短暂,死亡必将成为通向幸福和辉煌的大门,我们为什么要一味沉溺于痛苦之中呢?”
I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity she imparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness. I felt the impression of woe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came; and when, having done speaking, she breathed a little fast and coughed a short cough, I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vague concern for her.
我没有说话。海伦让我平静下来,但在她给予的平静中,却夹杂着无以言表的悲伤。她说话时我便能感受到这悲伤,但却不知悲从何来。说完后,她呼吸有些急促,短短地咳了几下,我随即忘了自己的悲伤,隐隐约约地关心起她来。
Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist; she drew me to her, and we reposed in silence. We had not sat long thus, when another person came in. Some heavy clouds, swept from the sky by a rising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streaming in through a window near, shone full both on us and on the approaching figure, which we at once recognised as Miss Temple.
我把头靠在海伦的肩膀上,用手臂搂着她的腰。她把我拉紧,我们沉浸在寂静中。我们没坐多久,另一个人就进来了。升起的风吹走阴云,露出一弯明月,月光透过旁边的窗户泻了进来,照着我们还有正在走近的身影。我们立马认出那是坦普尔小姐。
"I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre," said she; "I want you in my room; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too."
“我是特地来找你的,简·爱,”她说道,“我希望你到我房间来。既然海伦·伯恩斯也在,那就一起过来吧。”
We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had to thread some intricate passages, and mount a staircase before we reached her apartment; it contained a good fire, and looked cheerful. Miss Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low armchair on one side of the hearth, and herself taking another, she called me to her side.
我们去了,跟着校长的指引,我们穿过错综复杂的过道,上了楼梯,才到她的房间。屋里炉火旺盛,很舒服。坦普尔小姐让海伦·伯恩斯坐在火炉旁的低扶手椅上,她坐在另外一个上,把我叫到她身边。
"Is it all over?"she asked, looking down at my face. "Have you cried your grief away?"
“没事了吧?”她问道,低头看我的脸,“悲伤都哭完了吗?”
"I am afraid I never shall do that."
“我想我永远哭不完。”
"Why?"
“为什么?”
"Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybody else, will now think me wicked."
“因为我被冤枉了,小姐你,还有其他所有人,现在都会觉得我是个坏孩子。”
"We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child. Continue to act as a good girl, and you will satisfy us."
“我们会按你的表现来看待你,我的孩子。继续做个好女孩儿,你会让我们满意的。”
"Shall I, Miss Temple?"
“我会吗,坦普尔小姐?”
"You will," said she, passing her arm round me. "And now tell me who is the lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?"
“你会的。”她说道,用胳膊搂着我,“现在给我讲讲,布罗克赫斯特先生说的你那位女恩人是谁呢?”
"Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead, and he left me to her care."
“里德夫人,我舅舅的妻子。舅舅死了,把我交给她照顾。”
"Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?"
“那她不是自愿收养你的?”
"No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I have often heard the servants say, got her to promise before he died that she would always keep me.”
“是的,小姐,她很遗憾自己不得不这样做。但我经常听仆人们说,舅舅死前让她许诺会一直照顾我。”
"Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when a criminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence. You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well as you can. Say whatever your memory suggests is true; but add nothing and exaggerate nothing."
“嗯,简,你知道,至少我现在告诉你,当一个罪犯被起诉时,总是允许他为自己辩护。你被指责撒谎,那就尽可能地为自己辩护吧。把你能记住的实情都说出来,但是不要添油加醋或夸大其辞。”
I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be most moderate—most correct; and, having reflected a few minutes in order to arrange coherently what I had to say, I told her all the story of my sad childhood. Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subdued than it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful of Helen's warnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infused into the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary. Thus restrained and simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as I went on that Miss Temple fully believed me.
我在心底决定,自己要极为公正,极为准确。我想了几分钟,组织好要说的话后,把自己不幸的童年一股脑地讲给了坦普尔小姐。我因情绪激动而筋疲力尽,所以提到这个伤心的话题时,我的语言比平时克制了一些。又想到海伦的警示,不要一味地怨恨,我话里夹杂的厌恶远比平时少多了。正是克制和简洁让语言听起来更可信,我说的时候感到坦普尔小姐对我的完全信任。
In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as having come to see me after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightful episode of the red room:in detailing which, my excitement was sure, in some degree, to break bounds; for nothing could soften in my recollection the spasm of agony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reed spurned my wild supplication for pardon, and locked me a second time in the dark and haunted chamber.
这期间,我提到了劳埃德先生在我昏倒后来看我,因为我从未忘记在红房子里发生的插曲,对我而言太可怕了。在说到细节时,我情绪激动,有些失态。一想到里德夫人拒绝我的苦苦哀求,再一次把我锁到漆黑闹鬼的房子里,那种揪心的痛苦,无论什么都无法缓解。
I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence; she then said—
我讲完了,坦普尔小姐静静地看了我几分钟,然后说到:
"I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if his reply agrees with your statement, you shall be publicly cleared from every imputation; to me, Jane, you are clear now."
“我认识劳埃德先生,我会写信给他。如果他的答复跟你的说法一致,你将被公开洗清所有罪名。对我来说,简,你现在是清白的。”
She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was well contented to stand, for I derived a child's pleasure from the contemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, her white forehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming dark eyes), she proceeded to address Helen Burns.
她吻了我,仍让我站在她身旁(我很乐意站在那儿,因为注视她的面容、穿着、一两件饰物、白皙的额头,一撮撮闪光的卷发和发亮的黑色眼眸,都给了我孩童的快乐)。她继续对海伦·伯恩斯说:
"How are you tonight, Helen? Have you coughed much today?"
“今晚怎么样,海伦?今天还咳得厉害吗?”
"Not quite so much, I think, ma'am."
“我觉得不是很厉害,小姐。”
"And the pain in your chest?"
“那胸口还痛吗?”
"It is a little better."
“好些了。”
Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; then she returned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low. She was pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she said cheerfully—
坦普尔小姐站起来,握着她的手,检查她的脉搏,然后又回到座位上。坐下时我听到她轻轻地叹气。她沉思了片刻,然后打起精神,欢快地说:
"But you two are my visitors tonight; I must treat you as such."She rang her bell.
“你俩今晚是我的客人,我一定要尽情款待你们。”她摇了摇铃。
"Barbara," she said to the servant who answered it, "I have not yet had tea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies."
“巴巴拉,”她对应声而来的仆人说,“我还没有喝茶呢,拿托盘过来,给这两位年轻小姐也放上杯子。”
And a tray was soon brought. How pretty, to my eyes, did the china cups and bright teapot look, placed on the little round table near the fire! How fragrant were the steam of the beverage, and the scent of the toast! Of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I was beginning to be hungry) discerned only a very small portion: Miss Temple discerned it too.
托盘很快就上来了。这些陶瓷杯子和亮晶晶的茶壶,放在炉火旁的小圆桌上,在我看来是多么漂亮啊!这茶水的蒸汽和面包的味道多香啊!但是,我失望地发现(因为我已经开始饿了),只有很少一份,坦普尔小姐也发现了。
"Barbara," said she, "can you not bring little more bread and butter? There is not enough for three."
“巴巴拉,”她说道,“能多上点儿面包和黄油吗?这不够三个人吃的。”
Barbara went out: she returned soon—
巴巴拉出去了,很快又回来,说道:
"Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity."
“小姐,哈登夫人说她给的就是平时的分量。”
Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr. Brocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone and iron.
得解释一下,哈登夫人就是管家,正合布罗克赫斯特先生心意的女人,跟他一样铁石心肠。
"Oh, very well!"returned Miss Temple; "we must make it do, Barbara, I suppose."And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling, "Fortunately, I have it in my power to supply deficiencies for this once."
“嗯,那好吧!”坦普尔小姐回道,“我想我们只好将就了,巴巴拉。”这女孩儿离开后,她笑着说:“幸好我还有办法弥补这次遗憾。”
Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placed before each of us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel of toast, she got up, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcel wrapped in paper, disclosed presently to our eyes a good-sized seedcake.
她招呼海伦和我到桌前,各放了一杯茶和一块儿美味但很小的面包。她站起来,打开一个抽屉,从里面拿出一个纸包,然后在我们眼前打开,是一大块儿芝麻饼。
"I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you," said she, "but as there is so little toast, you must have it now," and she proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.
“我原本打算让你们每人带走一块儿的,”她说道,“但既然现在只有这么少的面包,你们必须在这儿把它吃了。”然后她慷慨地切成了片。
We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not the least delight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification with which our hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famished appetites on the delicate fare she liberally supplied.
我们那晚享用了甘露般的饮料和美味的食物。我们吃着女主人慷慨提供的美味,填饱了饥饿的肚子。女主人带着满意的微笑看着我们,这微笑让我们尤其快乐。
Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire; we sat one on each side of her, and now a conversation followed between her and Helen, which it was indeed a privilege to be admitted to hear.
喝完茶,盘子被端走后,她又把我们叫到炉火边,一边坐一个。她跟海伦说话,能听到这样的谈话真是我的荣幸。
Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of state in her mien, of refined propriety in her language, which precluded deviation into the ardent, the excited, the eager: something which chastened the pleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her, by a controlling sense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but as to Helen Burns, I was struck with wonder.
坦普尔小姐向来神情安宁,举止端庄,谈吐优雅,从不狂躁、亢奋和急切,这种威严让听她看她的人出于敬畏而克制自己,不敢得意忘形。这正是我现在的感受,而海伦·伯恩斯却令我惊叹不已。
The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence and kindness of her beloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than all these, something in her own unique mind, had roused her powers within her. They woke, they kindled: first, they glowed in the bright tint of her cheek, which till this hour I had never seen but pale and bloodless; then they shone in the liquid lustre of her eyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more singular than that of Miss Temple's—a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash, nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannot tell. Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough, vigorous enough, to hold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid eloquence? Such was the characteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to me, memorable evening; her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as much as many live during a protracted existence.
茶点令人振奋,炉火在闪烁,敬爱的老师就在旁边并且善良亲切,或者不止这一切,是她独特头脑中的某些东西唤醒了海伦内在的力量。这力量苏醒了,燃烧着,先是照亮了她一向苍白且毫无血色的脸颊,然后闪现在她眼眸流动的光泽中,她的眼眸突然有了一种比坦普尔小姐更独特的美丽——这美丽既没有华丽的色彩也没有长长的睫毛,也不是如画的柳眉,但却意蕴深远,流盼不息,光彩四射。然后她开始说话,滔滔不绝,源自何处我无从知晓。一个十四岁的小女孩儿怎会有如此宽广和活跃的内心,盛得下如此纯净、饱满、激情四射的口才之泉?这就是海伦在那个令我难以忘怀的夜晚所展示的个性,她的精神似乎要急匆匆地在短暂的期限内过得与许多持久的生命一样充分。
They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and times past; of countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered or guessed at: they spoke of books: how many they had read! What stores of knowledge they possessed! Then they seemed so familiar with French names and French authors: but my amazement reached its climax when Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment to recall the Latin her father had taught her, and taking a book from a shelf, bade her read and construe a page of Virgil ; and Helen obeyed, my organ of veneration expanding at every sounding line. She had scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime! no delay could be admitted; Miss Temple embraced us both, saying, as she drew us to her heart—
我从未听过她们谈论的事情,逝去的民族和年代,遥远的国度,人类已知或是猜测的自然奥秘。她们讨论书籍,她们读过好多书啊!她们真是渊博!她们好像还很熟悉法语名字和法国作者,但最让我瞠目结舌的是,坦普尔小姐问海伦是否会偶尔抽出时间回忆她父亲曾教她的拉丁文,并从书架上拿来一本书,让她朗读并解释《维吉尔》中的一页,海伦照做了,每一句都让我崇拜不已。她刚一读完就响起了就寝铃。不容耽搁,坦普尔小姐拥抱了我们,拉我们入怀时说:
"God bless you, my children!"
“上帝保佑你们,我的孩子们!”
Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go more reluctantly; it was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for her she a second time breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear from her cheek.
她多抱了海伦一会儿,似乎更加不情愿让她走,一直目送海伦到门口。为了海伦,她再一次悲伤地叹了口气;为了海伦,她拭去脸颊上的泪痕。
On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd: she was examining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's, and when we entered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and told that tomorrow she should have half-a-dozen of untidily folded articles pinned to her shoulder.
我们朝寝室走时,听到斯卡查德小姐的声音,她在检查抽屉,刚刚抽出了海伦·伯恩斯的。我们一进去,海伦便挨了顿突如其来的臭骂,斯卡查德小姐还威胁说,明天她会把好几件没叠好的东西别在海伦的肩膀上。
"My things were indeed in shameful disorder," murmured Helen to me, in a low voice: "I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot."
“我的东西确实放得乱七八糟,”海伦小声对我说,“我本来打算收拾的,可是给忘了。”
Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on a piece of pasteboard the word "Slattern," and bound it like a phylactery round Helen's large, mild, intelligent, and benign looking forehead. She wore it till evening, patient, unresentful, regarding it as a deserved punishment. The moment Miss Scatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I ran to Helen, tore it off, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which she was incapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot and large, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle of her sad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.
第二天,斯卡查德小姐在一块纸板上写了几个显眼的大字,“邋遢鬼”,并把它像护符一样贴在海伦宽大、温顺、聪颖、善良的额头上。她一直耐心地带到晚上,毫无怨言,当作是应得的惩罚。斯卡查德小姐一上完下午的课,我就跑向海伦,把纸片扯下来然后扔到炉火里。她从不会有的盛怒一整天都在我心中燃烧,硕大滚烫的泪珠不停地从我的脸颊滑过,她那悲哀顺从的景象带给我心底不可承受的痛苦。
About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, Miss Temple, who had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appeared that what he said went to corroborate my account. Miss Temple, having assembled the whole school, announced that inquiry had been made into the charges alleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was most happy to be able to pronounce her completely cleared from every imputation. The teachers then shook hands with me and kissed me, and a murmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of my companions.
在上面讲述的事件一周后,坦普尔小姐曾写信给劳埃德先生并收到回复,看来他的回答证实了我的陈述。坦普尔小姐召集全校师生,宣布已经对简·爱受到的控诉进行了调查,她很高兴地宣布,简·爱的所有罪名都已澄清。老师们跟我握手,还吻了我,我的同伴中也响起了欢快的低语。
Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to work afresh, resolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: I toiled hard, and my success was proportionate to my efforts; my memory, not naturally tenacious, improved with practice; exercise sharpened my wits; in a few weeks I was promoted to a higher class; in less than two months I was allowed to commence French and drawing. I learned the first two tenses of the verb ETRE, and sketched my first cottage (whose walls, by-the-bye, outrivalled in slope those of the leaning tower of Pisa), on the same day. That night, on going to bed, I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hot roast potatoes, or white bread and new milk, with which I was wont to amuse my inward cravings: I feasted instead on the spectacle of ideal drawings, which I saw in the dark;all the work of my own hands: freely pencilled houses and trees, picturesque rocks and ruins, Cuplike groups of cattle, sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe cherries, of wren's nests enclosing pearl like eggs, wreathed about with young ivy sprays. I examined, too, in thought, the possibility of my ever being able to translate currently a certain little French story which Madame Pierrot had that day shown me; nor was that problem solved to my satisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.
我如释重负,从那刻起从头开始,下定决心披荆斩棘,奋勇前进。我辛勤耕耘,有几分努力就有几分收获。我的记忆力并非天生超群,但随着多动脑子而提升。反复锻炼,也让我更加聪颖。几周后我被调到了更高的班级,不到两个月我获准学习法文和绘画。我一天内便学习了动词ETRE的两个基本时态,还画了自己第一幅素描作品,一间小屋(顺便提一句,那小屋的墙壁倾斜得比比萨铁塔还要厉害)。那天晚上,我上床时忘了在想象中准备巴米塞德式的晚餐,包括热腾腾的烤土豆,或是白面包和新鲜牛奶,这些总能取悦我内心的渴望。而现在这场盛宴,却是我在黑暗中看到的完美图画。全都出自我手,信手拈来的房屋和绿树,生动的岩石和废墟,克伊普式的牛群,还有其他甜美的图景——蝴蝶在含苞待放的玫瑰上徘徊,小鸟轻啄着成熟的樱桃,鹪鹩的巢中有着一窝珍珠般的鸟蛋,四周还环绕着常春藤的嫩枝。我还仔细琢磨,是否能把前两天皮埃罗夫人给我看的法文故事流利地翻译出来。而这个问题还没有得到满意地解决,我便坠入了甜甜的梦乡。
Well has Solomon said—"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."
所罗门说得好:“即使粗茶淡饭,只要有爱,便胜过吃着肥牛,却彼此怀恨。”
I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations for Gateshead and its daily luxuries.
现在,我绝不肯用洛伍德的贫穷换取盖茨黑德府的奢华了。