My first quarter at Lowood seemed an age; and not the golden age either; it comprised an irksome struggle with difficulties in habituating myself to new rules and unwonted tasks. The fear of failure in these points harassed me worse than the physical hardships of my lot; though these were no trifles.
我在洛伍德的第一个季度像是一个时代,但并不是黄金时代。我要克服恼人的困难,努力让自己适应这里的新规矩和奇怪的任务。更让我身心俱疲的不是肉体折磨,而是害怕自己失败,虽然肉体折磨也并非小事。
During January, February, and part of March, the deep snows, and, after their melting, the almost impassable roads, prevented our stirring beyond the garden walls, except to go to church; but within these limits we had to pass an hour every day in the open air. Our clothing was insufficient to protect us from the severe cold: we had no boots, the snow got into our shoes and melted there: our ungloved hands became numbed and covered with chilblains, as were our feet:I remember well the distracting irritation I endured from this cause every evening, when my feet inflamed; and the torture of thrusting the swelled, raw, and stiff toes into my shoes in the morning. Then the scanty supply of food was distressing: with the keen appetites of growing children, we had scarcely sufficient to keep alive a delicate invalid. From this deficiency of nourishment resulted an abuse, which pressed hardly on the younger pupils: whenever the famished great girls had an opportunity, they would coax or menace the little ones out of their portion. Many a time I have shared between two claimants the precious morsel of brown bread distributed at tea-time; and after relinquishing to a third half the contents of my mug of coffee, I have swallowed the remainder with an accompaniment of secret tears, forced from me by the exigency of hunger.
在一月、二月以及三月的部分时间里,下了很厚的雪,积雪融化后道路几乎无法行走,除了去教堂,我们只得在花园高墙内行走。尽管有这些局限,我们每天也得在户外呆一小时。我们的衣服不够抵御严寒,也没有靴子穿,雪进到鞋子里并在那儿化掉;我们没有手套,双手冻得麻木,满是冻疮,双脚也是如此。我清楚地记得,每晚的寒冷都让我痛苦难忍,双脚冻得红肿,早上还要把肿胀、刺痛、僵硬的脚趾塞到鞋子里。食物供应不足也让人苦恼,发育中的孩子原本就食欲旺盛,而极少的食物就连虚弱的病人都养不活。食物不足让年龄较小的学生备受其苦,那些挨饿的大女孩儿们一旦有机会,便对小女孩儿威逼利诱,夺走她们的部分食物。在茶点时间,我常常要跟两个觅食者分享一小口宝贵的黑面包,再把半杯咖啡让给第三位,我吞掉剩下的一点点,饿得默默流泪。
Sundays were dreary days in that wintry season. We had to walk two miles to Brocklebridge Church, where our patron officiated. We set out cold, we arrived at church colder: during the morning service we became almost paralysed. It was too far to return to dinner, and an allowance of cold meat and bread, in the same penurious proportion observed in our ordinary meals, was served round between the services.
周日是这个寒冷的冬季中最沉闷的日子。我们必须走两英里的路到布罗克布里奇教堂,那里由我们的赞助人主持。我们出发时很冷,到了之后更冷,早上祷告时我们便几乎要瘫痪了。因为回去吃午饭太远,两次祷告间就发些冷肉和面包,跟平时吃饭的份量一样少得可怜。
At the close of the afternoon service we returned by an exposed and hilly road, where the bitter winter wind, blowing over a range of snowy summits to the north, almost flayed the skin from our faces.
下午做完祷告后,我们便踏上了回去的山路,路上无遮无拦,刺骨的寒风从雪山顶往北吹着,我们的脸几乎要被剥掉一层皮。
I can remember Miss Temple walking lightly and rapidly along our drooping line, her plaid cloak, which the frosty wind fluttered, gathered close about her, and encouraging us, by precept and example, to keep up our spirits, and march forward, as she said, "like stalwart soldiers."The other teachers, poor things, were generally themselves too much dejected to attempt the task of cheering others.
我记得坦普尔小姐跟着无精打采的队伍轻快地走着。冷风吹着她的格子斗篷,她把衣服裹得紧紧的,还用箴言和榜样鼓励我们振作,如同她说的“像坚定的士兵”一样奋勇行进。其他老师,可怜的人,自己都垂头丧气,更不用说鼓励别人了。
How we longed for the light and heat of a blazing fire when we got back! But, to the little ones at least, this was denied: each hearth in the schoolroom was immediately surrounded by a double row of great girls, and behind them the younger children crouched in groups, wrapping their starved arms in their pinafores.
我们多么向往回校后炉火的光和热啊!但是,至少对较小的孩子们来说并非如此。各个教室的火炉立即被那群大些的姑娘团团围住,小姑娘们便在她们身后缩成一团,把冻僵的胳膊裹进围裙。
A little solace came at tea-time, in the shape of a double ration of bread—a whole, instead of a half, slice—with the delicious addition of a thin scrape of butter: it was the hebdomadal treat to which we all looked forward from Sabbath to Sabbath. I generally contrived to reserve a moiety of this bounteous repast for myself; but the remainder I was invariably obliged to part with.
喝茶时有一个小小的安慰,面包是平时的两倍——是一整片而不是半片——上面还抹了一层薄薄的美味的黄油。从一个安息日到下个安息日,我们一直盼望这每周一次的待遇。我通常试图把这份大餐留下一半,但另一半每次都不得不分给别人。
The Sunday evening was spent in repeating, by heart, the Church Catechism , and the fifth, sixth, and seventh chapters of St. Matthew ; and in listening to a long sermon, read by Miss Miller, whose irrepressible yawns attested her weariness. A frequent interlude of these performances was the enactment of the part of Eutychus by some half dozen of little girls, who, overpowered with sleep, would fall down, if not out of the third loft, yet off the fourth form, and be taken up half dead. The remedy was, to thrust them forward into the centre of the schoolroom, and oblige them to stand there till the sermon was finished. Sometimes their feet failed them, and they sank together in a heap; they were then propped up with the monitors' high stools.
星期日晚上都用来背诵《教义问答》和《马太福音》第五、六、七章,还要听米勒小姐朗读长长的布道文,她那止不住的哈欠将她的疲惫显露无疑。课间常有的插曲是六七个小女孩儿就像犹推古一样,困意甚浓,尽管她们不是从三楼而是从第四排椅子上摔下来,被扶起时也是半死不活了。对策就是把她们推到教室中间罚站,直到布道结束。有时她们实在站不住了,便瘫在地上缩成一团,便用班长的高凳子把她们支撑起来。
I have not yet alluded to the visits of Mr. Brocklehurst; and indeed that gentleman was from home during the greater part of the first month after my arrival; perhaps prolonging his stay with his friend the archdeacon: his absence was a relief to me. I need not say that I had my own reasons for dreading his coming: but come he did at last.
我还没有提及布罗克赫斯特先生的来访。事实上,我到这里后的第一个月,这位绅士大部分时间都不在家,也许是在他的朋友,副主教家多呆了几天,他的离开让我松了一口气。我不必说为什么害怕他的到来,但他到底还是来了。
One afternoon (I had then been three weeks at Lowood), as I was sitting with a slate in my hand, puzzling over a sum in long division, my eyes, raised in abstraction to the window, caught sight of a figure just passing: I recognised almost instinctively that gaunt outline;and when, two minutes after, all the school, teachers included, rose en masse, it was not necessary for me to look up in order to ascertain whose entrance they thus greeted. A long stride measured the schoolroom, and presently beside Miss Temple, who herself had risen, stood the same black column which had frowned on me so ominously from the hearthrug of Gateshead. I now glanced sideways at this piece of architecture. Yes, I was right: it was Mr. Brocklehurst, buttoned up in a surtout, and looking longer, narrower, and more rigid than ever.
一天下午(我到洛伍德已经三个星期了),我手里拿着一块石板,坐着思考一道长除法题,心不在焉地抬头看窗外,碰巧看到一个身影经过,我几乎本能地认出了那消瘦的轮廓。两分钟后,学生和老师全部起立,我不用抬头便知道大家在欢迎谁。他大步流星,瞬间就到了已经站起来的坦普尔小姐旁边,还是当初在盖茨黑德府的地毯上朝我蹙眉瞪眼的同一根黑柱子。我现在斜瞥了一眼这个建筑物。我是对的,正是布罗克赫斯特先生,穿着紧身大衣,扣紧纽扣,看起来比以前更长、更瘦、更僵硬了。
I had my own reasons for being dismayed at this apparition; too well I remembered the perfidious hints given by Mrs. Reed about my disposition, &c.; the promise pledged by Mr. Brocklehurst to apprise Miss Temple and the teachers of my vicious nature. All along I had been dreading the fulfilment of this promise,—I had been looking out daily for the "Coming Man," whose information respecting my past life and conversation was to brand me as a bad child for ever: now there he was.
我见到这个幽灵就沮丧,当然自有原因。我还清楚得记得里德夫人对我的品质之类的诽谤性暗示,还有布罗克赫斯特先生的许诺,说他会告知坦普尔小姐和其他老师我的邪恶本性。我一直害怕这个承诺得到兑现——我每天都因这个“要来的人”而提心吊胆,他关于我过去生活的消息和谈话将永远给我打上坏孩子的烙印,而现在他就在那里。
He stood at Miss Temple's side; he was speaking low in her ear: I did not doubt he was making disclosures of my villainy; and I watched her eye with painful anxiety, expecting every moment to see its dark orb turn on me a glance of repugnance and contempt. I listened too; and as I happened to be seated quite at the top of the room, I caught most of what he said: its import relieved me from immediate apprehension.
他站在坦普尔小姐旁边,低声耳语,毫无疑问是在揭发我的罪状。我痛苦好奇地看着她的眼睛,时刻等待她乌黑的双眸向我投来厌恶鄙视的目光。我也在听,因为我碰巧坐在教室最前面。我听到了他的大部分讲话,谈话内容消除了我眼下的顾虑。
"I suppose, Miss Temple, the thread I bought at Lowton will do; it struck me that it would be just of the quality for the calico chemises, and I sorted the needles to match. You may tell Miss Smith that I forgot to make a memorandum of the darning needles, but she shall have some papers sent in next week; and she is not, on any account, to give out more than one at a time to each pupil: if they have more, they are apt to be careless and lose them. And, O ma'am! I wish the woollen stockings were better looked to! —when I was here last, I went into the kitchen garden and examined the clothes drying on the line; there was a quantity of black hose in a very bad state of repair: from the size of the holes in them I was sure they had not been well mended from time to time.”
“坦普尔小姐,我想我在洛顿买的线还可以吧,我觉得正适合白棉布衬衣,我还买了些针来匹配。你可以告诉史密斯小姐我忘了买织补针,但下周有人会送些纸过来,她无论如何只能发给每个学生一张纸,她们一有多余的便会粗心弄丢的。还有,哦,小姐!我希望羊毛袜都能爱惜些!上次在这儿的时候,我到菜园里看了看挂在绳上的衣服,很多黑色长袜都得补了。从洞的大小看,我确定这些袜子每回都没有好好补过。”
He paused.
他停顿了一下。
"Your directions shall be attended to, sir," said Miss Temple.
“我会按指示做的,先生。”坦普尔小姐回答道。
"And, ma'am," he continued, "the laundress tells me some of the girls have two clean tuckers in the week: it is too much; the rules limit them to one.”
“还有,小姐,”他继续说道,“洗衣女工告诉我有些女孩子每周用两块儿干净的领布,这太多了,按规定只能用一块儿。”
"I think I can explain that circumstance, sir. Agnes and Catherine Johnstone were invited to take tea with some friends at Lowton last Thursday, and I gave them leave to put on clean tuckers for the occasion."
“我想我能解释一下,先生。阿格尼丝和凯瑟琳·约翰斯通上周四受朋友邀请去洛顿喝茶,我允许她们在这种场合穿上干净的领布。”
Mr. Brocklehurst nodded.
布罗克赫斯特先生点点头:
"Well, for once it may pass; but please not to let the circumstance occur too often. And there is another thing which surprised me; I find, in settling accounts with the housekeeper, that a lunch, consisting of bread and cheese, has twice been served out to the girls during the past fortnight. How is this? I looked over the regulations, and I find no such meal as lunch mentioned. Who introduced this innovation? and by what authority?"
“好的,一次也就算了,但请不要让这种事经常发生。还有一件事让我震惊。我在跟管家对账时发现,过去两周给姑娘们供应了两次有面包和奶酪的便餐。这是怎么回事?我查了校规,没有发现提及类似的便餐。这是谁发明的?又是受了谁的吩咐?”
"I must be responsible for the circumstance, sir," replied Miss Temple: "the breakfast was so ill prepared that the pupils could not possibly eat it; and I dared not allow them to remain fasting till dinner-time.”
“先生,我要对这件事负责。”坦普尔小姐回答道,“那天早餐实在太糟了,学生们都吃不下,我不敢让她们一直饿到午饭时间。”
"Madam, allow me an instant. You are aware that my plan in bringing up these girls is, not to accustom them to habits of luxury and indulgence, but to render them hardy, patient, self-denying. Should any little accidental disappointment of the appetite occur, such as the spoiling of a meal, the under or the over dressing of a dish, the incident ought not to be neutralised by replacing with something more delicate the comfort lost, thus pampering the body and obviating the aim of this institution;it ought to be improved to the spiritual edification of the pupils, by encouraging them to evince fortitude under temporary privation. A brief address on those occasions would not be mistimed, wherein a judicious instructor would take the opportunity of referring to the sufferings of the primitive Christians; to the torments of martyrs;to the exhortations of our blessed Lord Himself, calling upon His disciples to take up their cross and follow Him; to His warnings that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God; to His divine consolations, "If ye suffer hunger or thirst for My sake, happy are ye."Oh, madam, when you put bread and cheese, instead of burnt porridge, into these children's mouths, you may indeed feed their vile bodies, but you little think how you starve their immortal souls!"
“小姐,请允许我说几句。你明白我培养这些女孩子的打算,不是让她们养成奢侈放纵的习惯,而是让她们学会吃苦耐劳、坚韧不拔和自我克制。如果发生任何败坏食欲的小意外,比如一顿糟糕的早饭,一盘菜放少或是放多了佐料,绝不应该用更好吃的东西来代替失去的享受,这样是在娇惯她们,也违背了学校的宗旨。应该从精神上对学生进行教诲,鼓励她们在暂时的贫困面前表现出勇气。这时正应该来个简短的讲话,一个明智的教师应抓住机会向她们讲述早期基督徒的苦难,还有殉道者所受的折磨。还有我们万福之主的劝诫,召唤他的门徒拿起十字架跟随着他;讲讲上帝的警示,人活着不是单靠食物,乃是靠上帝口里所说出的一切话;还有他神圣的宽慰,‘饥渴慕义的人有福了。’噢,小姐,当你把面包和奶酪代替烧糊的粥送进这些孩子口中时,也许你的确喂饱了他们堕落的肉体,但没想到你却让她们不朽的灵魂挨饿!”
Mr. Brocklehurst again paused—perhaps overcome by his feelings. Miss Temple had looked down when he first began to speak to her; but she now gazed straight before her, and her face, naturally pale as marble, appeared to be assuming also the coldness and fixity of that material; especially her mouth, closed as if it would have required a sculptor's chisel to open it, and her brow settled gradually into petrified severity.
布罗克赫斯特先生又停了下来——大概情绪太过激动。他第一次开口时坦普尔小姐低下头,但是现在她直视前方,她那天生就像大理石一样苍白的脸,看起来也像大理石那样冰冷坚定。尤其是她那紧闭的嘴唇,好像只有雕刻家的凿子才能撬开,她的眉毛逐渐变得呆板严肃。
Meantime, Mr. Brocklehurst, standing on the hearth with his hands behind his back, majestically surveyed the whole school. Suddenly his eye gave a blink, as if it had met something that either dazzled or shocked its pupil; turning, he said in more rapid accents than he had hitherto used—
同时,布罗克赫斯特先生倒背着手站在火炉边,威严地审视着全体学生。突然他的眼睛一眨,好像是碰到了眩目刺眼的东西,转过头,他用比刚才更快的语速说道:
"Miss Temple, Miss Temple, what—WHAT is that girl with curled hair? Red hair, ma'am, curled—curled all over?”
“坦普尔小姐,坦普尔小姐,那个——那个卷发的女孩子是谁?红头发,小姐,卷发——满头的卷发?”
And extending his cane he pointed to the awful object, his hand shaking as he did so.
他伸出手杖指着那可怕的东西,同时手也在哆嗦。
"It is Julia Severn," replied Miss Temple, very quietly.
“那是朱莉娅·塞弗恩。”坦普尔小姐平静地回答道。
"Julia Severn, ma'am! And why has she, or any other, curled hair? Why, in defiance of every precept and principle of this house, does she conform to the world so openly—here in an evangelical, charitable establishment—as to wear her hair one mass of curls?”
“朱莉娅·塞弗恩,小姐!为什么她,或者还有别人,留着卷发?她怎能无视本校的所有训诫和原则,公开媚俗——在这个新教会的慈善学校——留着一头卷发?”
"Julia's hair curls naturally," returned Miss Temple, still more quietly.
“朱莉娅的头发是自然卷。”坦普尔小姐更加平静地回答道。
"Naturally! Yes, but we are not to conform to nature; I wish these girls to be the children of Grace: and why that abundance? I have again and again intimated that I desire the hair to be arranged closely, modestly, plainly. Miss Temple, that girl's hair must be cut off entirely; I will send a barber tomorrow: and I see others who have far too much of the excrescence—that tall girl, tell her to turn round. Tell all the first form to rise up and direct their faces to the wall.”
“自然卷!对,但我们不能向自然妥协,我希望这些女孩子能成为上帝慈悲的孩子,还有为什么留那么多头发?我已经反复说过,我希望头发收拾得服帖、谨慎、朴实。坦普尔小姐,那个女孩子的头发必须统统剪掉,我明天会派位理发师来。我看其他人也有太多累赘——那个高个子女生,让她转过来。告诉一班学生全体起立,面朝墙站着。”
Miss Temple passed her handkerchief over her lips, as if to smooth away the involuntary smile that curled them; she gave the order, however, and when the first class could take in what was required of them, they obeyed. Leaning a little back on my bench, I could see the looks and grimaces with which they commented on this manoeuvre: it was a pity Mr. Brocklehurst could not see them too; he would perhaps have felt that, whatever he might do with the outside of the cup and platter, the inside was further beyond his interference than he imagined.
坦普尔小姐用手帕捂着嘴,好像要抚平嘴边不自觉的笑容,然而她还是下了命令,一班听明白后马上服从。我稍微往凳子后面靠一点,可以看到她们对此举的眼神和鬼脸,可惜布罗克赫斯特先生看不到。否则也许他能感觉到,无论他在外表上对孩子们做了什么,他却无法干涉她们的内心世界。
He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some five minutes, then pronounced sentence. These words fell like the knell of doom—
他盯着她们转过去,约莫五分钟后,他宣布判决。这些话就像丧钟一样:
"All those topknots must be cut off."
“所有的顶髻都要剪掉。”
Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.
坦普尔小姐好像要抗议。
"Madam," he pursued, "I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is not of this world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts of the flesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness and sobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel;and each of the young persons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits which vanity itself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off; think of the time wasted, of—”
“小姐,”他继续道,“我要效忠于不在这个尘世的主。我的使命就是克制这些女孩子的肉欲,教会她们要穿着得体,懂得廉耻,不能扎辫子或是穿着奢侈。我们面前的每个年轻人都出于虚荣把头发扎成辫子。这些,我再说一遍,必须剪掉,想想因此而浪费的时间,想想——”
Mr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors, ladies, now entered the room. They ought to have come a little sooner to have heard his lecture on dress, for they were splendidly attired in velvet, silk, and furs. The two younger of the trio (fine girls of sixteen and seventeen) had grey beaver hats, then in fashion, shaded with ostrich plumes, and from under the brim of this graceful headdress fell a profusion of light tresses, elaborately curled; the elder lady was enveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed with ermine, and she wore a false front of French curls.
这时,布罗克赫斯特先生被打断了,另外三位来访者走进教室,三位女士。她们应该早点来听他关于穿着的演讲,因为她们都穿着华丽,身着天鹅绒、丝绸和皮草。三人中较年轻的两个(十六七岁左右的漂亮女孩子)戴着当时流行的灰色獭皮帽,还盖有鸵鸟头饰,这优雅的头饰边缘垂下精致烫卷的长发。年龄较长的女士裹着一件价格不菲的天鹅绒披肩,并装饰着貂皮,额前留着一排法式刘海。
These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs. and the Misses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at the top of the room. It seems they had come in the carriage with their reverend relative, and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of the room upstairs, while he transacted business with the housekeeper, questioned the laundress, and lectured the superintendent. They now proceeded to address divers remarks and reproofs to Miss Smith, who was charged with the care of the linen and the inspection of the dormitories: but I had no time to listen to what they said; other matters called off and enchanted my attention.
这些女士们受到坦普尔小姐毕恭毕敬的接待,是布罗克赫斯特夫人及小姐,她们被带到教室一头的上座。看样子她们是跟这位可敬的亲属一起坐马车来的,他跟管家对账、质问洗衣女工、教训校长时,她们仔细检查了楼上的房间。她们现在又开始对史密斯小姐进行各种评论和责备,她负责衣被和检查宿舍,但我已经没有时间听她们的话了,其他一些事吸引了我的注意力。
Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr. Brocklehurst and Miss Temple, I had not, at the same time, neglected precautions to secure my personal safety; which I thought would be effected, if I could only elude observation. To this end, I had sat well back on the form, and while seeming to be busy with my sum, had held my slate in such a manner as to conceal my face:I might have escaped notice, had not my treacherous slate somehow happened to slip from my hand, and falling with an obtrusive crash, directly drawn every eye upon me; I knew it was all over now, and, as I stooped to pick up the two fragments of slate, I rallied my forces for the worst. It came.
到目前为止,我一边集中精力听布罗克赫斯特先生与坦普尔小姐的谈话,同时也不能不对我的安全加以留意,我想只要能躲开他的眼神就不会有危险。为此目的,我尽量往后坐,用石板挡着脸,看起来像是埋头算题。本来我可以逃过一劫,却没想到不可靠的石板从我手中滑落,咣地一声摔碎在地上,全班人的眼睛都立马看了过来。我知道一切都完了,蹲下去将两块碎片捡起来,做好了最坏的准备。它来了。
"A careless girl!" said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after—"It is the new pupil, I perceive."And before I could draw breath, "I must not forget I have a word to say respecting her."Then aloud: how loud it seemed to me! "Let the child who broke her slate come forward!"
“粗心的女孩儿!”布罗克赫斯特先生喊道,随即说,“我想这是新来的吧。”我还没来得及喘口气,他又说:“关于她,我一定不能忘记有一些话要说。”然后他很大声地说:“让那个打碎石板的孩子走到前面来!”这对我来说震耳欲聋!
Of my own accord I could not have stirred; I was paralysed: but the two great girls who sit on each side of me, set me on my legs and pushed me towards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple gently assisted me to his very feet, and I caught her whispered counsel—
我已经站不起来了,瘫痪了一样,但是我两侧两个大些的姑娘让我把腿站好,把我推向可怕的法官。然后坦普尔小姐温柔地扶我在他脚前站好,我听到她低声安慰我:
"Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident; you shall not be punished."
“不要害怕,简,我看到了这是个意外,你不会受罚的。”
The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.
这善良的耳语就像匕首刺进我的心。
"Another minute, and she will despise me for a hypocrite," thought I; and an impulse of fury against Reed, Brocklehurst, and Co. bounded in my pulses at the conviction.
“下一分钟,她就会鄙视我这个伪君子。”我想着。一想到这些,对里德,对布罗克赫斯特及其同伙的愤怒便在我的脉搏间凶猛跳动。
I was no Helen Burns.
我不是海伦·伯恩斯。
"Fetch that stool," said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a very high one from which a monitor had just risen: it was brought.
“把凳子拿过来。”布罗克赫斯特先生指着一个高凳子说道。班长站起身拿了过来。
"Place the child upon it."
“把这个孩子放上去。”
And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no condition to note particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up to the height of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard of me, and that a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and a cloud of silvery plumage extended and waved below me.
我不知道被谁放到那儿,我管不了那么多细节了,只知道他们把我抬到跟布罗克赫斯特的鼻子一样高,他跟我只有一码远。再就是一闪而过的橘黄色和紫色丝绸皮上衣,云一般的银色羽毛在我下面展开飘动。
Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.
布罗克赫斯特先生清了清嗓子。
"Ladies," said he, turning to his family, "Miss Temple, teachers, and children, you all see this girl?"
“女士们,”他转向他的家人,“坦普尔小姐,老师们,孩子们,你们看到这个女孩儿了吗?”
Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed like burning glasses against my scorched skin.
她们当然能看到,我感觉到她们的眼睛就像取火镜般灼烧着我的皮肤。
"You see she is yet young; you observe she possesses the ordinary form of childhood; God has graciously given her the shape that He has given to all of us; no signal deformity points her out as a marked character. Who would think that the Evil One had already found a servant and agent in her? Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case."
“你们看到她年纪轻轻,有着普通孩子的外形,上帝慷慨地给与她和我们一样的躯体,没有什么残缺表明她与众不同。谁能想到她已经成了撒旦的服务者和代理人呢?但我很遗憾地说,事实正是如此。”
A pause—in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, and to feel that the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longer to be shirked, must be firmly sustained.
他停顿了一下——我开始恢复我瘫痪的神经,觉得卢比孔河已经过去了,必须勇敢地承受这场无法逃避的审判。
"My dear children," pursued the black marble clergyman, with pathos, "this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes my duty to warn you, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs, is a little castaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently an interloper and an alien. You must be on your guard against her; you must shun her example; if necessary, avoid her company, exclude her from your sports, and shut her out from your converse. Teachers, you must watch her: keep your eyes on her movements, weigh well her words, scrutinise her actions, punish her body to save her soul: if, indeed, such salvation be possible, for (my tongue falters while I tell it) this girl, this child, the native of a Christian land, worse than many a little heathen who says its prayers to Brahma and kneels before Juggernaut—this girl is—a liar!”
“我亲爱的孩子们,”这黑色大理石般的牧师继续说道,带着一丝伤感,“这是个悲伤又忧郁的场合,因为我有责任警告你们,这个有可能成为上帝羔羊的女孩子,却成了弃儿,不是真正羊群的一员,而是闯入者,是异类。你们一定不要接近她,不要以她为榜样。如果必要的话,不要跟她为伴,不要跟她做游戏,不要跟她讲话。老师们,你们要看好她,观察着她的行动,检验她的言语,观察她的行为,对她施以体罚以拯救她的灵魂,如果真能拯救的话。因为(我难以启齿)这个女孩儿,这个孩子,基督国家的土生土长者,比许多向梵天祷告、向克利须那神像下跪的小异教徒还要坏——这个女孩儿爱撒谎!”
Now came a pause of ten minutes, during which I, by this time in perfect possession of my wits, observed all the female Brocklehursts produce their pocket-handkerchief and apply them to their optics, while the elderly lady swayed herself to and fro, and the two younger ones whispered, "How shocking!"Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.
停了十分钟,此时我已完全镇定,目睹布罗克赫斯特家的女人拿出手帕擦了擦眼睛,年长的女士左摇右晃,两个年轻姑娘小声说:“太可怕了!”布罗克赫斯特先生继续说道:
"This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious and charitable lady who adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as her own daughter, and whose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girl repaid by an ingratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last her excellent patroness was obliged to separate her from her own young ones, fearful lest her vicious example should contaminate their purity:she has sent her here to be healed, even as the Jews of old sent their diseased to the troubled pool of Bethesda; and, teachers, superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the waters to stagnate round her.”
“这是我从她的女恩人那儿得知的,那个虔诚慈善的女士收养了这个孤儿,像对自己女儿一样把她养大。仁慈和慷慨换来的却是这个不幸女孩儿的忘恩负义,如此恶劣、可怕,结果她那优秀的女恩人不得不将她与自己的小孩子分隔开,以免她的恶习污染了他们的纯洁。她把她送到这里来接受调教,就像古代犹太人把病人送到毕士大不平静的水池中一样。还有老师、校长,我请求你们不要让水在她周围停滞。”
With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted the top button of his surtout, muttered something to his family, who rose, bowed to Miss Temple, and then all the great people sailed in state from the room. Turning at the door, my judge said—
说完这个伟大的结论,布罗克赫斯特先生调整了一下外衣最上面的纽扣,对家人低声说了一些话,她们起身,向坦普尔小姐鞠躬,然后所有大人物仪态万方地离开了。我的审判员走到门口时,回过身说道:
"Let her stand half-an-hour longer on that stool, and let no one speak to her during the remainder of the day.”
“让她在凳子上多站半个小时,今天剩下的时间里谁也不能跟她说话。”
There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could not bear the shame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of the room, was now exposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy. What my sensations were no language can describe; but just as they all rose, stifling my breath and constricting my throat, a girl came up and passed me: in passing, she lifted her eyes. What a strange light inspired them! What an extraordinary sensation that ray sent through me! How the new feeling bore me up! It was as if a martyr, a hero, had passed a slave or victim, and imparted strength in the transit. I mastered the rising hysteria, lifted up my head, and took a firm stand on the stool. Helen Burns asked some slight question about her work of Miss Smith, was chidden for the triviality of the inquiry, returned to her place, and smiled at me as she again went by. What a smile! I remember it now, and I know that it was the effluence of fine intellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked lineaments, her thin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from the aspect of an angel. Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm "the untidy badge;" scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by Miss Scatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she had blotted an exercise in copying it out. Such is the imperfect nature of man! such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyes like Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blind to the full brightness of the orb.
于是我就高高地站在那儿。我,那个曾经说过不能忍受活生生地站在教室中央的人,现在在众目睽睽之下站在声名狼藉的基座上。我的感受用语言是无法描述的,但是就在它们油然而生令我窒息时,一个女孩子走上来,经过我面前时抬起了眼睛。眼中闪烁着奇异的光芒!那光线给我怎样的感触!那种从未有过的感觉让我忽然振奋!就像是一位殉道者,一位英雄经过奴隶或受害者身边,向他们传达着力量。我压住内心升起的歇斯底里,抬起头,坚定地站在凳子上。海伦·伯恩斯询问了史密斯小姐一些作业上的小问题,因问题琐碎而遭斥责。她回到位子上时,又向我微笑。那是怎样的微笑啊!我现在依然记得,我知道这笑容流露出睿智和真正的勇气。它点亮了她分明的轮廓,瘦削的面部,深陷的灰眼睛,就像是天使脸庞的映像。然而那一刻,海伦·伯恩斯手臂上仍带着“凌乱标记”,就在一小时前,我还听到她被斯卡查德小姐谴责,让她明天中午只能吃面包和水,因为她写作业时弄脏了练习本。这就是不完美的人性!最干净的星球上的盘子也会有污点,而斯卡查德小姐这类人的眼睛只能看到这些小缺点,却对星球的强烈光辉视而不见。