From my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference between Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,—I desired and waited it in silence. It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had regained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded. Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a severe eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children; appointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take my meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins were constantly in the drawing room. Not a hint, however, did she drop about sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her glance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion.
从与劳埃德先生的交谈,以及贝西和阿博特间的讨论中,我获得了足够的希望,作为我要好起来的动力。改变似乎很近了,我静静地期盼着、等待着。然而它却搁浅了,几天几周过去了,我的病好了,但我期盼的问题却丝毫没有人提及。里德夫人时不时地用严峻的眼神打量我,但很少跟我说话。自从我生病后,她在我与她的孩子中间划了一条更为明显的界线,命令我单独睡一间屋、单独吃饭,一直呆在育儿室里,而我的表兄妹们则常常在客厅活动。然而,对于送我上学这件事,她却毫无暗示,而我仍本能地感到,她不会让我跟她在同一个屋檐下长住的。因为如今她扫视我的眼神,比以往任何时候更能表达出无法克制、根深蒂固的反感。
Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as little as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw me, and once attempted chastisement;but as I instantly turned against him, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran from me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose. I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I had the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he was already with his mama. I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how "that nasty Jane Eyre" had flown at him like a mad cat: he was stopped rather harshly—
依莱扎和乔治亚娜,明显是受了吩咐,尽可能少跟我说话;约翰每当看到我就吐舌头、做鬼脸,有次甚至想打我。但我立即转向他,被愤怒的情绪激起,跟上次让我爆发一样,歇斯底里地反抗。他认为还是停火为妙,边骂边跑,并声明我打破了他的鼻子。我的确是瞄准他那突出的部分狠狠打了一拳,我发现他被这一拳或者我的样子给吓倒了,我真想乘胜追击,可是他已经跑到了他妈妈身边。我听到他哭着鼻子,开始讲“恶毒的简·爱”如何像疯猫一样扑向他的故事,他却被严厉地制止了:
"Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters should associate with her.”
“不要跟我提她,约翰。我告诉过你不要接近她,她不配。我不准你和你的妹妹理她。”
Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all deliberating on my words—
这时,我倚着栏杆,想也没想就突然喊出来:
"They are not fit to associate with me."
“他们才不配跟我来往呢。”
Mrs. Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and audacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib, dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day.
里德夫人是个很粗壮的女人,但是听到这奇怪的大胆宣言,她迅速跑上楼,像旋风一样把我拖进育儿室,按倒在床边,恶狠狠地说看我还敢不敢起来,或者在这一天剩下的时间里还敢不敢再说一句话。
"What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?" was my scarcely voluntary demand. I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no control.
“如果里德舅舅还活着,他会怎么对你说?”这几乎不是我自愿问的。我说不是自愿,因为我的舌头不经同意便说出了那些话,不受我的控制便脱口而出。
"What?"said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm, and gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or fiend. I was now in for it.
“什么?”里德夫人小声说,她那一向冷酷镇静的灰眼睛似乎突然被恐惧纠缠。她把手从我的胳膊上拿开,盯着我,好像分不出我是孩子还是恶魔。我势必要倒霉了。
"My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can papa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you wish me dead.”
“我的里德舅舅在天堂里,你做了什么、想了什么他都能看到,我的爸爸妈妈也能看到。他们知道你整天把我关着,恨不得我死掉。”
Mrs. Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly; she boxed both my ears, and then left me without a word. Bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof. I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging in my breast.
里德夫人很快缓过神来,她用力地摇晃我,抽我耳光,然后一句话不说就离开了。贝西趁机教育了我一个小时,证明我无疑是这家养过的最邪恶、最任性的孩子。我半信半疑,因为我的确觉得只有反感冲击着我的胸膛。
November, December, and half of January passed away. Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer; presents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given. From every enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and seeing them descend to the drawing room, dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted;and afterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played below, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing room door opened and closed. When tired of this occupation, I would retire from the stair head to the solitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not miserable. To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company, for in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind and companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen. But Bessie, as soon as she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the lively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing the candle along with her. I then sat with my doll on my knee till the fire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull red, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might, and sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib. To this crib I always took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth of worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature scarecrow. It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of sensation. I could not sleep unless it was folded in my nightgown; and when it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it to be happy likewise.
十一月、十二月、一月的一半,都过去了。盖茨黑德府像往常一样欢快地庆祝圣诞节和新年。大家交换礼物,晚上还有聚餐和舞会。当然,任何一项活动我都是被排除在外的。我的那份快乐就在于每天欣赏依莱扎和乔治亚娜的服装,看着她们盛装打扮去客厅,看她们的薄纱裙、红腰带和精心卷过的头发。之后,还听到钢琴和竖琴的演奏,管家和仆人来来往往的声音,上点心时玻璃和瓷器叮当作响,还有客厅的门开掩之间断断续续的嗡嗡交谈声。当听腻了,我就从楼梯口回到孤独寂静的育儿室,在那儿虽然有些忧伤,但我并不难过。说实话,我一点都不想扎进人堆,因为在人群里难得有人注意到我。若是贝西友善些,我会很乐意静静地跟她度过那些晚上,而不是在满是小姐和绅士的房间里,在里德夫人可怕的眼皮底下度过。而贝西,一旦打扮好她的小姐们,便去厨房和女管家的房间凑热闹,经常把蜡烛也带走。我便把布娃娃放在膝上,坐在那儿直到火要熄灭。我时不时地看看周围,确保除了我的影子外,没有更糟的东西在阴暗的屋里游荡。当余火变成暗红,我急忙脱下衣服,迅速扯开衣服的结和带子,尽可能快地钻进被窝,逃离冰冷和黑暗。我总是把布娃娃带上床。人一定要钟爱点儿什么,因为缺乏更好的喜爱之物,我只能勉强从珍爱一只褪色的娃娃中找到快乐,它破烂得像只小稻草人。现在想来,倾注在那个小玩具上的诚挚感情有些荒唐,亦真亦幻地认为它有生命、有感觉。不把它抱在睡衣里我便睡不着,当它安全温暖地躺在那儿时,我就很开心,相信它也一样开心。
Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and listened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she would come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or perhaps to bring me something by way of supper—a bun or a cheesecake—then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had finished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me, and said, "Good night, Miss Jane."When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me the best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most intensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never push me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often wont to do. Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural capacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of narrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her nursery tales. She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and person are correct. I remember her as a slim young woman, with black hair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she had a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or justice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at Gateshead Hall.
等待人群离开的时间似乎很长,我还想听到楼梯上贝西的脚步声。她有时趁着间隙上来找顶针或剪刀,或是可能带点儿东西给我当晚饭——一块小圆面包或是一块乳酪蛋糕——然后她会坐在床边看着我吃。我吃完后,她会为我掖下衣服,亲我两下说:“晚安,简小姐。”在她这么温柔的时候,贝西在我眼中就是世上最优秀、最漂亮、最善良的人,我强烈地渴望她能永远这么和蔼可亲,永远不会像她往常那样无故推我、骂我,或是差遣我。我想贝西·李的确是个天生能干的姑娘,因为她每件事都做得很漂亮,还很有讲故事的天份,至少从她那些在育儿室讲的故事给我的印象中,我相信她是这样的。如果我对她的脸蛋和身材记得没错的话,她也很漂亮。我记得她身材修长,一头乌发,黑眼睛,非常精致的五官,肤色很好,但她脾气暴躁善变,没有原则和公道。尽管如此,在盖茨黑德府,她仍是我最喜欢的人。
It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning: Bessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned to their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden coat to go and feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less so of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she thus obtained. She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for saving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in driving hard bargains with the gardener about flower roots, seeds, and slips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of his young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and Eliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a handsome profit thereby. As to her money, she first secreted it in odd corners, wrapped in a rag or an old curlpaper; but some of these hoards having been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing her valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious rate of interest—fifty or sixty per cent.;which interest she exacted every quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy.
那天是一月十五号,早上九点钟左右,贝西下去准备早饭了,我的表亲们还没被他们的妈妈唤去。依莱扎带上帽子,穿上暖和的园艺外套去喂她的鸡,她喜欢这项工作,还喜欢把鸡蛋卖给女管家,把赚到的钱攒起来。她喜欢交易,很爱存钱,这不仅在她卖鸡和鸡蛋时表现出来,在她为了花根、花籽、插枝跟园丁讨价还价时也展露无疑。那位先生受里德夫人之命,买下依莱扎小姐花圃里所有她想卖的东西。如果依莱扎可以赚到一大笔钱,她连头发也会卖。至于她的钱,起初会用一块儿碎布或一张卷发纸包好,然后藏在零散的角落里。但有些地方会被女仆发现,依莱扎担心这些宝贝哪天丢了,于是同意给她妈妈保管,利率跟放高利贷一样——百分之五十或六十。她每季度索取一次,并一清二楚地记在一个小本子上。
Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and interweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of which she had found a store in a drawer in the attic. I was making my bed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before she returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-nursery maid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c.). Having spread the quilt and folded my nightdress, I went to the window seat to put in order some picture books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an abrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny chairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped my proceedings;and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to breathing on the frost flowers with which the window was fretted, and thus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the grounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost.
乔治亚娜坐在高凳子上,对镜梳妆,把假花和褪色的羽毛带在她那头卷发上,那些都是她在阁楼的一个抽屉里找到的。我在整理床铺,贝西严令我在她回来之前收拾好(因为贝西现在经常把我当小保姆使唤,吩咐我收拾屋子,擦掉椅子的尘土之类的活儿)。铺好被子、叠好睡衣后,我去窗前收拾那些凌乱的图画书和玩偶之家的家具。乔治亚娜突然命令我不要碰那些玩具(因为小椅子、小镜子、画着精灵的盘子和杯子,都是她的财产),我便停了下来。之后,因为没事可做,我开始往玻璃的窗花上哈气,一块儿窗花融化了,我透过玻璃看到外面的大地,冰冻之下,一切寂静无声。
From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage road, and just as I had dissolved so much of the silver white foliage veiling the panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a carriage roll through. I watched it ascending the drive with indifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought visitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the doorbell rang loudly, the newcomer was admitted. All this being nothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry tree nailed against the wall near the casement. The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and having crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the windowsill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery.
窗子外面是门房和车道,正当我化开大部分银白色的窗花往外看时,大门开了,一辆马车驶进来。我冷冷地看着它前行,盖茨黑德府经常来一些马车,但来的客人我从不感兴趣。马车停在房前,门铃大作,客人被招呼进来。这些都与我无关,我闲下来的注意力一下子被一只饥饿的知更鸟吸引。它在一棵贴墙靠窗的落光叶子的樱桃树上叽叽喳喳地叫着。我早饭剩下的面包和牛奶还在桌上,我弄了点儿碎面包屑,正要拉开窗把面包屑洒在窗台上。这时贝西跑着上来了:
"Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there? Have you washed your hands and face this morning?"I gave another tug before I answered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash yielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the cherry tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied—
“简小姐,快脱下围裙,你在那儿干吗呢?你早上洗手洗脸了吗?”我在回答之前又拉了一下窗,想确保鸟儿能吃到面包,窗框终于屈服了,我撒了一些面包屑在窗台上,撒了一些在樱桃树上。然后我关上窗,回答道:
"No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting."
“没有,贝西,我刚刚打扫完屋子。”
"Troublesome, careless child! and what are you doing now? You look quite red, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the window for?”
“粗心的讨厌鬼!你现在干吗呢?你看起来脸色发红,像刚刚做了坏事。刚才为什么开窗?”
I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a hurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand, inflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with soap, water, and a coarse towel;disciplined my head with a bristly brush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the stairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast room.
贝西好像没有时间听我解释,我省去了回答的麻烦。她把我拉到脸盆架那儿,毫不留情地用肥皂、水和粗糙的毛巾硬给我擦洗脸和手,幸好她动作很快。她用毛刷给我理了理头发,摘下我的围裙,急急忙忙把我拉到楼梯口,让我马上下去,说有人在餐厅等我。
I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was there; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery door upon me. I slowly descended. For nearly three months, I had never been called to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the breakfast, dining, and drawing rooms were become for me awful regions, on which it dismayed me to intrude.
我本想问谁在等我,里德夫人是否在那儿,但贝西已经离开,关上了育儿室的门。我慢腾腾地往下走。里德夫人已经将近三个月没叫我去她那儿了,我被软禁在育儿室太久了,早餐室、正餐室、客厅对我来说都成了禁地,让我望而却步。
I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast room door, and I stopped, intimidated and trembling. What a miserable little poltroon had fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days! I feared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour; ten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the breakfast room bell decided me; I MUST enter.
我现在站在空空的大厅里,我面前是早餐室的门,我停下来,吓得发抖。那些日子,不公的惩罚带来的恐惧让我变成了多么可怜的胆小鬼!我不敢回育儿室,也不敢走进客厅,在那儿站了十分钟,忐忑不安,犹豫不决。早餐室猛烈的铃声让我下定决心,我必须进去。
"Who could want me?"I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the stiff door handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts. "What should I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?—a man or a woman?”The handle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low, I looked up at—a black pillar! —such, at least, appeared to me, at first sight, the straight, narrow, sable clad shape standing erect on the rug: the grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft by way of capital.
“谁会找我呢?”我在心里问。我双手转动僵硬的门把手,有一两秒钟它动也没动。“除了里德舅母我还会见到谁呢?男的还是女的?”把手一转,门开了。我走过去行了一个低低的屈膝礼,抬头往上看——一根黑色的柱子!——至少我一眼看上去是这样的。那人很直很细,身着黑貂皮大衣,笔直地站在地毯上。那张严肃的面孔看上去就像是雕刻的面具,放在柱顶当作柱头。
Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to me to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger with the words: "This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to you."
里德夫人像往常一样坐在火炉边,她示意让我过去。我过去后,她把我介绍给这个石头一样的陌生人,说道:“这就是我向你提出申请的小姑娘。”
HE, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and having examined me with the two inquisitive looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice, "Her size is small: what is her age?”
他,原来是个男人,慢慢地把头朝我转过来,一双好奇的灰眼眸在浓密的眼眉下闪烁着,仔细打量着我,然后严肃地低声问道:“她个头很小,今年多大了?”
"Ten years."
“十岁。”
"So much?" was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for some minutes. Presently he addressed me—"Your name, little girl?"
“这么大了?”他疑问地说道,又继续盯着我看了几分钟。一会儿,他问我:“你叫什么名字,小姑娘?”
"Jane Eyre, sir."
“简·爱,先生。”
In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman; but then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the lines of his frame were equally harsh and prim.
我一边回答一边抬头看,因为我当时很矮小,这位绅士看起来似乎很高。他五官粗犷,还有他的整个轮廓也一样严肃刻板。
"Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?"
“嗯,简·爱,你是个好孩子吗?”
Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a contrary opinion: I was silent. Mrs. Reed answered for me by an expressive shake of the head, adding soon, "Perhaps the less said on that subject the better, Mr. Brocklehurst."
我无法给出肯定的答案,因为我周围的人都持相反观点,于是我默不作声。里德夫人意味深长地摇了摇头,替我回答,又补充道:“也许不该讨论这个问题,布罗克赫斯特先生。”
"Sorry indeed to hear it! she and I must have some talk;" and bending from the perpendicular, he installed his person in the armchair opposite Mrs. Reed's. "Come here," he said.
“真遗憾!我必须和她谈谈。”他弯下笔直的腰板,坐在里德夫人对面的扶手椅上。“过来。”他说道。
I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him. What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine! what a great nose! and what a mouth! and what large prominent teeth!
我走过地毯,他让我端端正正地站在他面前。此刻我们的脸几乎平行,他有张怎样的脸啊!好大的鼻子!好丑的嘴巴!好大的龅牙!
"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"
“没有比看到淘气的小孩子更让人难过的了,”他开始说话了,“尤其是淘气的小姑娘。你知道坏人死后去哪儿吗?”
"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.
“会下地狱。”我立即回答,这也是我认为最正统的答案。
"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"
“那什么是地狱?能告诉我吗?”
"A pit full of fire."
“是个火坑。”
"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"
“那你愿意掉进那个坑里,永远在里面燃烧吗?”
"No, sir."
“不,先生。”
"What must you do to avoid it?"
“那你得做什么来避免?”
I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable: "I must keep in good health, and not die."
我沉思了一会儿,终于想出来了,答案却令人讨厌:“我必须保持健康,不能死掉。”
"How can you keep in good health? Children younger than you die daily. I buried a little child of five years old only a day or two since,—a good little child, whose soul is now in heaven. It is to be feared the same could not be said of you were you to be called hence.”
“怎样才能保持健康?每天都有比你小的孩子死去。我一两天前刚火化了一个五岁的孩子——一个好孩子,他的灵魂现在就在天堂。如果你被招去的话,恐怕就不一样了。”
Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on the two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far enough away.
我无法消除他的疑虑,只是用双眼看着放在地毯上的那两只大脚,叹了口气,希望自己能离得远远的。
"I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having been the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress."
“我希望这叹息声是发自内心的,也希望你能忏悔自己给你的恩人带来的不快。”
"Benefactress! benefactress!"said I inwardly: "they all call Mrs. Reed my benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing."
“恩人!恩人!”我心里嘀咕着,“他们都说里德夫人是我的恩人,如果真是如此,那恩人就是令人讨厌的东西。”
"Do you say your prayers night and morning?" continued my interrogator.
“你会在夜晚和早晨祈祷吗?”我继续接受审问。
"Yes, sir."
“是的,先生。”
"Do you read your Bible ?”
“你读《圣经》吗”
"Sometimes."
“有时读。”
"With pleasure? Are you fond of it?"
“乐意读吗?你喜欢它吗?”
"I like Revelations , and the book of Daniel , and Genesis and Samuel , and a little bit of Exodus , and some parts of Kings and Chronicles , and Job and Jonah .”
“我喜欢《启示录》、《但以理之书》、《创世纪》、《撒母耳记》,《出埃及记》的一小部分,还有《列王纪》、《历代志》、《约伯》和《约拿书》的一些章节。
"And the Psalms ? I hope you like them?”
“《诗篇》呢?我想你会喜欢吧?”
"No, sir."
“不,先生。”
"No? oh, shocking! I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: 'Oh! the verse of a Psalm! angels sing Psalms;' says he, 'I wish to be a little angel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety."
“不喜欢?呀,真奇怪!我的小儿子比你还小,能牢记六首赞美诗。你要是问他想吃一块儿姜饼还是想学一首赞美诗,他会说:‘啊!赞美诗!天使就唱赞美诗。’他说,‘我想做人间的小天使。’然后他就会因为孩童的虔诚而得到两块儿姜饼作为奖励。”
"Psalms are not interesting," I remarked.
“赞美诗没意思。”我说道。
"That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change it: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”
“这证明你有一颗邪恶的心,你必须向上帝祈祷来改变它,重获一颗纯净的心,拿走你那石头般的心,换上一颗血肉之心。”
I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that operation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed interposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the conversation herself.
我正想问他换心手术怎么做的问题,里德夫人插话了。她让我坐下,自己把谈话继续下去:
"Mr. Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to you three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character and disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I should be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep a strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a tendency to deceit. I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may not attempt to impose on Mr. Brocklehurst.”
“布罗克赫斯特先生,我想我在三周前写给你的信中提到过,这个小姑娘不具备我期待的品格和个性。如果您同意她去洛伍德上学,我希望那里的校长和老师能把她看得严些,而且最重要的是提防她最大的缺点,爱撒谎的毛病。简,我当着你的面说这些,好让你别企图欺骗布罗克赫斯特先生。”
Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature to wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully I obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were still repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above. Now, uttered before a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived that she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence which she destined me to enter;I felt, though I could not have expressed the feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future path; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an artful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury?
我很惧怕也很讨厌里德夫人,因为她天性就爱残忍地伤害我,只要她在我就开心不起来。不管我怎样言听计从,怎样竭力讨好她,我的努力仍然遭受失败,换来的只是上述那种言语。现在,她在陌生人面前对我的控告深深刺痛了我的心,我模糊地意识到,她已经在磨灭我对新生活的希望,这新生活正是她替我决定的。尽管我当时无法表达出来,我感觉到她正在我未来的路上播撒反感和刻薄,我看到自己在布罗克赫斯特先生的眼里成了恶毒狡诈的孩子,我做什么才能修复这样的创伤呢?
"Nothing, indeed," thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and hastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish.
“不可能了。”我想。我尽力压抑住呜咽声,赶忙抹去眼泪,那是我心中痛苦的无力证明。
"Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child," said Mr. Brocklehurst; "it is akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake burning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs. Reed. I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers."
“欺骗,在小孩子身上确实是很可悲的缺点。”布罗克赫斯特先生说道,“这跟撒谎一样,所有的撒谎者都得掉进烧着硫磺的火焰湖里。不过,里德夫人,我们会看管她的。我会跟坦普尔小姐和老师们打好招呼。”
"I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects," continued my benefactress; "to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for the vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at Lowood.”
“我希望能按她的潜力培养她,”我的恩人继续说,“让她成为有用之才,保持谦卑。至于假期,若您允许,就让她一直在洛伍德过吧。”
"Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam," returned Mr. Brocklehurst. "Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly appropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial care shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them. I have studied how best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the other day, I had a pleasing proof of my success. My second daughter, Augusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she exclaimed: 'Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood look, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores, and those little holland pockets outside their frocks—they are almost like poor people's children! and,'said she, 'they looked at my dress and mama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before.'"
“您的决定相当明智,夫人。”布罗克赫斯特先生回答,“谦卑是基督教的美德,对洛伍德的学生尤为适用,因此我规定在教育中要特别重视这一点。我一直研究怎样最有效地抑制他们的骄傲这种世俗情感,就在几天前,我看到了成功的可喜证明。我的二女儿奥古斯塔跟她妈妈一起去学校参观,回来时她大声说:‘哦,亲爱的爸爸,洛伍德的女孩子们看起来是多么文静朴素,头发全都梳在耳后,围着长长的围裙,连衣裙外面是小小的亚麻口袋——她们简直就像是穷人家的孩子!还有,’她说,‘她们盯着我和妈妈的衣服看,就像从来没见过绸制衣服一样。’”
"This is the state of things I quite approve," returned Mrs. Reed; "had I sought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more exactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre. Consistency, my dear Mr. Brocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things."
“这正是我欣赏的地方。”里德夫人附和道,“即使我寻遍英国,也找不出比这里更合适像简·爱这种孩子的地方了。坚韧,亲爱的布罗克赫斯特先生,我主张做任何事都要坚韧不拔。”
"Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been observed in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood: plain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and active habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its inhabitants.”
“夫人,坚韧是基督教的首要任务,这点从洛伍德的每一处设置上都能看出来:平淡的饮食、简单的穿着、简陋的住宿和坚韧积极的习惯,这都是学校和学生的日常规矩。”
"Quite right, sir. I may then depend upon this child being received as a pupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position and prospects?"
“对极了,先生。如此说来这个孩子就被洛伍德收下,并能得到适合她地位和前途的教育了?”
"Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants, and I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege of her election.”
夫人,放心吧,她将被安置到精选花木的苗圃里。我想对于这样无价的特权,她会心存感激的。”
"I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I assure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was becoming too irksome."
“布罗克赫斯特先生,我会尽快把她送过去,您可以放心,我太想摆脱这个变得愈发令人讨厌的累赘了。”
"No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning. I shall return to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good friend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner. I shall send Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there will he no difficulty about receiving her. Good-bye.”
“没问题,没问题,夫人,祝您今天愉快。我一两周内要回布罗克赫斯特府,我的好朋友副主教大人会让我多留几日。我会通知坦普尔小姐将有一个小姑娘报到,这样一来接待就不会有麻烦了。再见。”
"Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst, and to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.”
“再见,布罗克赫斯特先生,请代我向布罗克赫斯特太太、大小姐、奥古斯塔小姐、西奥多和布劳顿• 布罗克赫斯特少爷问好。”
"I will, madam. Little girl, here is a book entitled the ' Child's Guide ,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing 'An account of the awfully sudden death of Martha G—, a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit.'"
“会的,夫人。小姑娘,这本书叫《儿童指南》,祈祷后读一读,尤其是‘马莎·格——沉迷于谎言和欺诈的淘气包的恐怖死亡’那部分。”
With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn in a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.
说着,布罗特赫斯特先生往我手里放了一本带封面的薄册子,然后唤了马车铃,离开了。
Mrs. Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was sewing, I was watching her. Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or seven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square shouldered and strong limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese:she had a somewhat large face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow was low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently regular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her skin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen;her constitution was sound as a bell—illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever manager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control; her children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn; she dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off handsome attire.
屋里只剩我跟里德夫人。几分钟过去了,没人说话,她在做针线活儿,我则看着她。里德夫人那时大约三十六七岁,她骨架结实,肩膀方正,四肢有力,个头不高,虽然粗壮但并不肥胖。她脸盘有些大,下颚发达结实,眉毛偏低,下巴大而凸出,嘴巴和鼻子还算端正。淡淡的眉毛下,闪烁着残酷无情的眼睛,她皮肤黯沉粗糙,头发接近亚麻色。她身体健壮如牛——从不生病;她是个精明的总管,家人和佃农完全受她支配;她的孩子只是偶尔违抗她的权威,或是对她讥笑蔑视。她穿着得体,做作的举止衬托着华丽的盛装。
Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her armchair, I examined her figure; I perused her features. In my hand I held the tract containing the sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been pointed as to an appropriate warning. What had just passed; what Mrs. Reed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their conversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every word as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment fomented now within me.
我坐在矮凳子上,离她几码远,打量着她的身材,端详着她的五官。我手里拿着描述撒谎者猝死的小册子,他们让我好好读,那正是对我的警示。刚刚发生了些什么,里德夫人对布罗克罗斯特先生怎样描述我,他们谈话的内容如此清晰地刺痛我的心。字字清晰,字字尖锐,一股愤怒的冲动在我心中升起。
Mrs. Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers at the same time suspended their nimble movements.
里德夫人放下手中的活儿抬起头来,她的眼睛与我对视,敏捷的手指也停了下来。
"Go out of the room; return to the nursery," was her mandate. My look or something else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with extreme though suppressed irritation. I got up, I went to the door; I came back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up to her.
“滚出去,到育儿室里呆着。”她命令我。我的眼神或是其他什么一定惹恼了她,因为她的口气里充满了虽然压抑却依然强烈的愤怒。我站起来,走到门前,又折了回来。我穿过房间,走到窗前,然后在她面前停下。
SPEAK I must: I had been trodden on severely, and MUST turn: but how? What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist? I gathered my energies and launched them in this blunt sentence—
我必须要说出来,我被深深中伤了,我必将回击,但该怎样做呢?用什么力量来回击对手?我一鼓作气,直率地说道:
"I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I do not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except John Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl, Georgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.”
“我才不撒谎呢,如果我撒谎,那我会说我爱你,但是我声明我不爱你,除了约翰·里德,你是这个世界上我最讨厌的人。这本关于撒谎者的书,你可以给你的女儿乔治亚娜,她才是撒谎者,而我不是。”
Mrs. Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice continued to dwell freezingly on mine.
里德夫人的手依然一动不动地放在她的活计上,她冰一样的眼睛继续冷冷地看着我。
"What more have you to say?"she asked, rather in the tone in which a person might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily used to a child.
“你还想说些什么?”她问道,语气更像是质问成年对手,而不是通常情况下询问小孩子用的。
That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had. Shaking from head to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued—
她的眼睛和声音激起了我所有的反感。我全身颤抖,激动得难以自控,继续说道:
"I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again as long as I live. I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and if any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say the very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with miserable cruelty.”
“我很庆幸你跟我非亲非故,我直到死也不会再喊你一声舅母。我长大后也不会来看你,如果有人问我有多喜欢你,你是怎样对我的,我会说一想到你我就想吐,你对待我心狠手辣,毫不留情。”
"How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?"
“简·爱,你竟敢这么说?”
"How dare I, Mrs. Reed? How dare I? Because it is the TRUTH. You think I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or kindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity. I shall remember how you thrust me back—roughly and violently thrust me back—into the red room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony; though I cried out, while suffocating with distress, 'Have mercy! Have mercy, Aunt Reed!'And that punishment you made me suffer because your wicked boy struck me—knocked me down for nothing. I will tell anybody who asks me questions, this exact tale. People think you a good woman, but you are bad, hardhearted. YOU are deceitful!”
“我怎么不敢,里德夫人?我怎么不敢?因为这是事实。你认为我没有感情,我不需要仁慈或疼爱,但我不能这样活下去,你毫无怜悯之情。我会记得你是怎样逼我的——粗鲁用力地推我——推到那间红房子里,把我锁在那里,我都要死了,即便我大声哭喊,难过到要窒息,喊着‘可怜可怜我吧!可怜可怜我吧,里德舅母!’你却因为你那邪恶的儿子打我而惩罚我——毫无缘故地把我打倒在地。我将告诉每一个问我的人这个故事,字字确凿。人们认为你是个好人,但你却很恶毒,铁石心肠。你才是骗子!”
Ere I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with the strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt. It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-for liberty. Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked frightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her hands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she would cry.
还没说完,我的灵魂就在膨胀、狂喜,奇异地感到前所未有的自由和胜利。好像是冲破了无形的束缚,我终于挣扎着迈进了未曾期盼的自由。这种感觉并非莫名其妙,里德夫人似乎被吓到了,她的活计从膝盖滑落,她举起手来,身体左摇右晃,甚至脸部扭曲,好像要哭了:
"Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you? Why do you tremble so violently? Would you like to drink some water?”
“简,你弄错了,你怎么了?你为什么抖得这么厉害?想喝点水吗?”
"No, Mrs. Reed."
“不,里德夫人。”
"Is there anything else you wish for, Jane? I assure you, I desire to be your friend."
“你想要什么别的东西吗,简?我向你保证,我想跟你做朋友。”
"Not you. You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful disposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what you have done."
“你才不会。你告诉布罗克赫斯特先生我个性恶劣,天生爱骗人。我会让洛伍德的所有人都知道你是怎样一个人,你都做了些什么。”
"Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for their faults.”
“简,你不明白,小孩子有错就得改。”
"Deceit is not my fault!"I cried out in a savage, high voice.
“欺骗不是我的错!”我歇斯底里地叫着。
"But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the nursery—there's a dear—and lie down a little.”
“但是你性情冲动,简,这你必须承认。现在回育儿室去吧——宝贝儿——回去躺会儿。”
"I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs. Reed, for I hate to live here.”
“我不是你的宝贝儿,我躺不下,赶紧送我去学校,里德夫人,我讨厌住在这儿。”
"I will indeed send her to school soon," murmured Mrs. Reed sotto voce; and gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.
“我确实要赶紧送她去学校。”里德夫人低声自言自语道。然后她收拾好针线活儿,突然离开了。
I was left there alone—winner of the field. It was the hardest battle I had fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the rug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's solitude. First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce pleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my pulses. A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction. A ridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a meet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same ridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have represented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's silence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the dreariness of my hated and hating position.
我独自在那儿——犹如战场的胜利者。这是我打过的最艰难的一场,也是我获得的第一场胜利。我在布罗克赫斯特先生站过的地毯上呆了片刻,享受着征服者的孤独。开始我对自己微笑,洋洋得意,然而这阵狂喜转而消沉下去,快得如同我那加速的脉搏。小孩子不能像我刚才那样跟长辈争吵,也不能像我刚才那样让情绪肆无忌惮地发泄,这样做没有事后不后悔、不寒心的。在我控诉和威吓里德夫人时,心情就像点亮的荒原,生机勃勃、火光闪耀、怒不可遏,然而随后,火焰熄灭,荒原只剩焦灼一片。半小时的沉默和反省让我意识到自己的疯狂举动,还有这痛恨别人和被别人痛恨的悲凉处境。
Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned. Willingly would I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly from experience and partly from instinct that was the way to make her repulse me with double scorn thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse of my nature.
我第一次尝到复仇的滋味,就像是芳香的葡萄酒,喝下去时浓烈温暖,却有着金属腐蚀的后劲儿,让我感觉像是中了毒。我现在倒是想去求得里德夫人的谅解,但根据经验和直觉,我知道那只会让她用加倍的蔑视回击我,从而重新激起我冲动的天性。
I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation. I took a book—some Arabian tales; I sat down and endeavoured to read. I could make no sense of the subject; my own thoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found fascinating. I opened the glass door in the breakfast room: the shrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds. I covered my head and arms with the skirt of my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was quite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the falling fir cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept by past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together. I leaned against a gate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where the short grass was nipped and blanched. It was a very grey day; a most opaque sky, "onding on snaw," canopied all; thence flakes felt it intervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without melting. I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and over again, "What shall I do?—what shall I do?
我真希望自己能有比言辞激烈更高明的本事,有比阴暗的愤怒更健康的感情。我拿起一本书——有一些阿拉伯故事,我坐下来努力去读。我看不明白,我的思绪总在我和平日迷人的书页之间游走。我打开早餐室的玻璃门,灌木丛很安静,霜冻无视阳光和微风,弥漫在整个大地。我掀起长裙盖着脑袋和胳膊,去一处人迹罕至的种植园散步。然而在悄然的林间,坠地的冷杉果,秋日的残迹,被风扫过的冻结在一起的枯叶,都不能让我感到快乐。我倚在门上,望向空旷的田野,没有羊群觅食,只有短短的被啃得发白的草。那时天空灰暗阴霾,笼罩着一切,偶尔有雪花飘落,落在坚硬的小路和灰白的草地上,尚未融化。我站在那,可怜兮兮,一遍遍地低声问自己:“我该怎么办呢?——我该怎么办?”
All at once I heard a clear voice call, "Miss Jane! where are you? Come to lunch!"
突然传来清晰的呼喊:“简小姐!你在哪儿啊?来吃午饭啦!”
It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step came tripping down the path.
我很清楚,这是贝西,但我并没有回应,小路传来她轻快的脚步声。
"You naughty little thing!" she said. "Why don't you come when you are called?"
“你个淘气包!”她说,“听到叫你怎么不过来?”
Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been brooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross. The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not disposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I WAS disposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart. I just put my two arms round her and said, "Come, Bessie! don't scold."
贝西的出现,跟我一直挥之不去的沉思相比似乎更令人快乐,即便她像往常一样有些生气。事实上,在那次跟里德太太发生冲突并且赢得胜利后,我才不在意女佣短暂的发怒,我更愿意感受她那颗年轻快乐的心。我用胳膊搂着她说:“贝西,好啦!别数落我了。”
The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to indulge in: somehow it pleased her.
这个动作比我平时放任自己的任何一种更直率、更无畏,贝西还挺高兴。
"You are a strange child, Miss Jane," she said, as she looked down at me; "a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I suppose?”
“简小姐,你是个古怪的孩子,”她边低头看我边说,“一个徘徊的、孤独的小东西,我想你要去上学了吧?”
I nodded.
我点了点头。
"And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?"
“你不为将要离开可怜的贝西而难过吗?”
"What does Bessie care for me? She is always scolding me."
“贝西喜欢我什么?她总是数落我。”
"Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing. You should be bolder."
“因为你这小东西古怪、胆小、害羞。你应该胆子大一点。”
"What! to get more knocks?"
“什么?是要挨更多揍吗?”
"Nonsense! But you are rather put upon, that's certain. My mother said, when she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one of her own to be in your place.—Now, come in, and I've some good news for you."
“胡说!不过你是有点受欺负,这倒是事实。我妈上周来看我时说,她可不想自己的孩子像你一样受气——来吧,我有好消息要告诉你。”
"I don't think you have, Bessie."
“我才不信你有好消息呢,贝西。”
"Child! what do you mean? What sorrowful eyes you fix on me! Well, but Missis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this afternoon, and you shall have tea with me. I'll ask cook to bake you a little cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I am soon to pack your trunk. Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a day or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you."
“孩子!什么意思?你看我的眼神怎么这么悲伤!好吧,夫人、小姐和约翰少爷下午出去喝茶,你就跟我一起吃茶点吧。我会让厨师烤个小蛋糕给你,然后你帮我收拾下你的抽屉,因为我很快就要给你装行李了。夫人想让你一两天后离开盖茨黑德府,你可以挑你喜欢的玩具带走。”
"Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go."
“贝西,你一定要答应我,在我走之前不再责备我。”
"Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of me. Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so provoking."
“恩,我会的,但是你要乖乖的,不要怕我。我偶尔说话严厉你也不要害怕,那样最让人恼火了。”
"I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I have got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to dread."
“我想我不会再怕你了,贝西,因为我已经习惯你了,我很快就会有另外一群人要害怕。”
"If you dread them they'll dislike you."
“如果你怕他们,他们就不会喜欢你。”
"As you do, Bessie?"
“像你一样吗,贝西?”
"I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the others."
“小姐,我不是不喜欢你,我想我比其他人都喜欢你。”
"You don't show it."
“你可没表现出来。”
"You little sharp thing! you've got quite a new way of talking. What makes you so venturesome and hardy?"
“你这刻薄的小东西!你说话的方式变了。是什么让你变得如此大胆?”
"Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides"—I was going to say something about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second thoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head.
“哪有,我很快就要离开你了,而且——”我想说刚才发生在我跟里德夫人间的事,但我想了想觉得不说更好。
"And so you're glad to leave me?"
“这么说离开我你很高兴?”
"Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry."
“不是的,贝西,事实上现在我非常难过。”
"Just now! and rather! How coolly my little lady says it! I dare say now if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say you'd RATHER not."
“现在!非常!我的小姐说得好冷漠!我保证如果现在我让你亲我一下,你肯定会拒绝我,你会说我才不呢。”
"I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.”Bessie stooped; we mutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted. That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie told me some of her most enchaining stories, and sang me some of her sweetest songs. Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine.
“我会亲你,而且很乐意。低下头吧。”贝西弯下身,我们互相拥抱,我很高兴地跟着她进屋了。那个下午在平静和融洽中度过,到了晚上,贝西讲了一些很有趣的故事,还唱了她最动听的几首歌给我听。即使对我来说,生活还是有阳光的。