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Chapter 3

第三章

The next thing I remember is, waking up with a feeling as if I had had a frightful nightmare, and seeing before me a terrible red glare, crossed with thick black bars. I heard voices, too, speaking with a hollow sound, and as if muffled by a rush of wind or water: agitation, uncertainty, and an all predominating sense of terror confused my faculties. Ere long, I became aware that some one was handling me; lifting me up and supporting me in a sitting posture and that more tenderly than I had ever been raised or upheld before. I rested my head against a pillow or an arm, and felt easy.

接下来,我记得好像从噩梦中惊醒,眼前闪着一道可怕的红光,与一道道深黑色的栏杆交错着。还有一些空洞的声音,好像是被风或水的冲力闷住了。焦虑、不安和压倒一切的恐惧让我神志不清。不久,我开始意识到有人在碰我,扶我起来并帮我坐着,这比以往我被举起或抬起时更加温柔。我把头靠在不知是枕头还是胳膊上,感觉很舒服。

In five minutes more the cloud of bewilderment dissolved: I knew quite well that I was in my own bed, and that the red glare was the nursery fire. It was night: a candle burnt on the table; Bessie stood at the bed foot with a basin in her hand, and a gentleman sat in a chair near my pillow, leaning over me.

五分钟后,困惑的迷云散去,我清醒地意识到我是在自己床上,那道红光是育儿室的炉火。那是晚上了,桌上点着一支蜡烛。贝西手里端着盆站在床脚边,一位绅士坐在我枕边的椅子上,俯身看着我。

I felt an inexpressible relief, a soothing conviction of protection and security, when I knew that there was a stranger in the room, an individual not belonging to Gateshead., and not related to Mrs. Reed. Turning from Bessie (though her presence was far less obnoxious to me than that of Abbot, for instance, would have been), I scrutinised the face of the gentleman: I knew him; it was Mr. Lloyd, an apothecary, sometimes called in by Mrs. Reed when the servants were ailing: for herself and the children she employed a physician.

当我知道屋里还有一个陌生人,一个不属于盖茨黑德府、跟里德太太非亲非故的人时,我感到一种无以言说的欣慰和令人宽慰的安全感。我转过头不看贝西(虽然她的出现远没有阿博特那样讨厌,但今天并非如此),我细细打量着这位绅士的面孔,我认识他,是药剂师劳埃德先生。仆人们生病时里德夫人有时会叫他来,而她自己或孩子们生病时则会请医生。

"Well, who am I?" he asked.

“看,我是谁呀?” 他问。

I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand: he took it, smiling and saying, "We shall do very well by-and-by.”Then he laid me down, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was not disturbed during the night. Having given some further directions, and intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed; to my grief: I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near my pillow; and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and my heart again sank: inexpressible sadness weighed it down.

我说出了他的名字,同时把手伸给他,他握着我的手,笑了笑说:“你很快就会好的。”然后他让我躺下,告诉贝西要十分当心,不要在夜间惊扰我。他又交待了一些注意事项,并说第二天会再来,然后就离开了。我很难过,他坐在我枕旁的椅子上时,我感到如此安全和亲切。随着他关上身后那扇门,整个房间陷入了黑暗,我的心再次沉下去,被一种难以形容的忧伤压得喘不过气来。

"Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?" asked Bessie, rather softly.

“小姐,你想睡觉吗?”贝西问道,声音很温柔。

Scarcely dared I answer her; for I feared the next sentence might be rough. "I will try."

我不敢回答她,担心她下一句就没好气了。“我试试。”

"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?"

“你想喝点或是吃点什么吗?”

"No, thank you, Bessie."

“不用了,谢谢你,贝西。”

"Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o'clock; but you may call me if you want anything in the night."

“那我上床睡觉了,十二点已经过了。夜里你想要什么就叫我。”

Wonderful civility this! It emboldened me to ask a question.

这是多么客气啊!我不禁大胆问了个问题:

"Bessie, what is the matter with me? Am I ill?"

“贝西,我怎么了?我病了吗?”

"You fell sick, I suppose, in the red room with crying; you'll be better soon, no doubt."

“我想你是病了,在红房子里大哭。别担心,你很快会好起来的。”

Bessie went into the housemaid's apartment, which was near. I heard her say—

贝西去了女佣的房间,离这儿很近。我听到她说:

"Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery; I daren't for my life be alone with that poor child tonight: she might die; it's such a strange thing she should have that fit: I wonder if she saw anything. Missis was rather too hard.”

“萨拉,来育儿室跟我睡吧,今晚我不敢单独守着这可怜的孩子,她可能会死。抽筋这么厉害,真是太奇怪了。我想知道她是不是看到什么了。夫人也太狠心了。”

Sarah came back with her; they both went to bed; they were whispering together for half-an-hour before they fell asleep. I caught scraps of their conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer the main subject discussed.

萨拉跟她一起回来了,两人上了床,睡前又低声聊了半小时。我只听到了只言片语,但却足以猜出她们谈话的主题。

"Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished"—"A great black dog behind him"—"Three loud raps on the chamber door"—"A light in the churchyard just over his grave," &c. &c.

“有什么东西从她面前走过,一身白衣,然后消失了”——“有条大黑狗在他身后”——“三下很响的敲门声”——“在他的坟墓上有道光”,等等。

At last both slept: the fire and the candle went out. For me, the watches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness; strained by dread: such dread as children only can feel.

最后两人都睡着了,炉火和烛光也熄灭了。而我,在漫漫长夜中恐惧地醒着,因惧怕而紧张,这种惧怕只有小孩子才能感受到。

No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red room; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to this day. Yes, Mrs. Reed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering, but I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did: while rending my heartstrings, you thought you were only uprooting my bad propensities.

红房子这件事之后,我身体上的病痛并没有加重或拖延,只是我的神经受到重击,至今想起仍心有余悸。是的,里德夫人,你对我内心的折磨带给我可怕的剧痛,但我应该原谅你,因为你并不知道自己在做什么。你扯断我的心弦,还认为自己在根治我的坏脾气。

Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth. I felt physically weak and broken down: but my worse ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind: a wretchedness which kept drawing from me silent tears; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop from my cheek than another followed. Yet, I thought, I ought to have been happy, for none of the Reeds were there, they were all gone out in the carriage with their mama. Abbot, too, was sewing in another room, and Bessie, as she moved hither and thither, putting away toys and arranging drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted kindness. This state of things should have been to me a paradise of peace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless fagging; but, in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no calm could soothe, and no pleasure excites them agreeably.

第二天中午,我起床穿好衣服,裹着围巾,坐在育儿室的壁炉边。我觉得身子虚弱,精神崩溃,但更严重的是我无以言说的精神创伤。眼泪无声地留下来,刚擦完脸上的一颗咸泪珠,另一颗就又滚落下来。但我想,我应该高兴起来,因为那几个孩子都不在,全都跟着他们的妈妈坐马车出去了。阿博特也在另一个房间做针线活儿。还有贝西,她四处走动,把玩具收好,布置一下抽屉,还时不时地跟我说几句少有的好话。我已习惯了不停地受责骂、费力不讨好的生活,这种状态对我来说本该算是宁静的天堂。但事实上,此时已没有任何平静能抚慰我那受尽折磨的神经,没有任何欢乐能使其欣然激动。

Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought up with her a tart on a certain brightly painted china plate, whose bird of paradise, nestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in me a most enthusiastic sense of admiration;and which plate I had often petitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more closely, but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a privilege.

贝西去了厨房,她端来一只色彩鲜亮的瓷盘,上面放着一块儿馅饼。瓷盘上的极乐鸟依偎在牵牛花和玫瑰花的花环中间,这曾一直激发我热烈的羡慕之情。我曾经时常请求允许将它拿在手里更加仔细地端详一下,却一直没资格享有如此特权。

This precious vessel was now placed on my knee, and I was cordially invited to eat the circlet of delicate pastry upon it.

这个珍贵的瓷盘当时就在我的膝盖上,我还被诚恳地邀请品尝上面那精致的糕点。

Vain favour! coming, like most other favours long deferred and often wished for, too late! I could not eat the tart; and the plumage of the bird, the tints of the flowers, seemed strangely faded: I put both plate and tart away. Bessie asked if I would have a book: the word BOOK acted as a transient stimulus, and I begged her to fetch Gulliver's Travels from the library. This book I had again and again perused with delight. I considered it a narrative of facts, and discovered in it a vein of interest deeper than what I found in fairy tales: for as to the elves, having sought them in vain among foxglove leaves and bells, under mushrooms and beneath the ground ivy mantling old wall nooks,I had at length made up my mind to the sad truth, that they were all gone out of England to some savage country where the woods were wilder and thicker, and the population more scant;whereas, Lilliput and Brobdingnag being, in my creed, solid parts of the earth's surface, I doubted not that I might one day, by taking a long voyage, see with my own eyes the little fields, houses, and trees, the diminutive people, the tiny cows, sheep, and birds of the one realm; and the cornfields forest high, the mighty mastiffs, the monster cats, the tower like men and women, of the other. Yet, when this cherished volume was now placed in my hand—when I turned over its leaves, and sought in its marvellous pictures the charm I had, till now, never failed to find—all was eerie and dreary; the giants were gaunt goblins, the pigmies malevolent and fearful imps, Gulliver a most desolate wanderer in most dread and dangerous regions. I closed the book, which I dared no longer peruse, and put it on the table, beside the untasted tart.

白费好心!就像其他常常渴望而迟迟不来的恩惠一样,太晚了!我吃不下。鸟的羽翼,花的色彩似乎都奇怪地褪色了,我把盘子和馅饼推到一边。贝西问我是否想看书,书这个字眼让我的精神为之一振,我请她从藏书室取来《格利弗游记》。这本书我已经饶有兴趣地读了很多遍。我认为它是讲述事实的书,并发现这比童话故事有趣很多。因为在毛地黄叶子和铃铛花中间,蘑菇下面,爬满古老墙角的常春藤里,我找不到那些小精灵。最后我只能接受悲伤的事实,它们全都离开英格兰,去了某些蛮荒国家,那里的森林更原始、更茂密,人烟也更稀少。然而,在我的信念里,小人国和大人国是地球表面实实在在的一部分,我毫不怀疑总有一天,经过长途跋涉,我会亲眼看见小人国的小田野、小房子、小树木、小矮人、小母牛、小绵羊和小鸟;还有大人国那森林一般高的玉米地、硕大的看门狗、巨兽似的猫、高塔般的男人和女人。然而,此刻我手捧着这本珍爱的书——翻动着它,在奇异的图片中寻找那些一直存在的魅力——而一切都那么阴沉可怕。巨人成了瘦骨嶙峋的妖精,小矮人成了歹毒可怕的魔鬼,格利弗成了孤独的流浪汉,在最可怕、最危险的地方徘徊。我合上书,不敢再看了,把它放在桌上,挨着那块儿没动过的馅饼。

Bessie had now finished dusting and tidying the room, and having washed her hands, she opened a certain little drawer, full of splendid shreds of silk and satin, and began making a new bonnet for Georgiana's doll. Meantime she sang: her song was—

贝西已经把房间打扫完,弄整齐了。洗完手,她打开一个小抽屉,里面全是华丽的绸缎碎布,她开始为乔治亚娜的娃娃缝一顶新帽子。同时她还唱起歌来,是这样唱的:

"In the days when we went gipsying, a long time ago."

“很久以前,我们过着流浪的日子。”

I had often heard the song before, and always with lively delight; for Bessie had a sweet voice,—at least, I thought so. But now, though her voice was still sweet, I found in its melody an indescribable sadness. Sometimes, preoccupied with her work, she sang the refrain very low, very lingeringly; "A long time ago" came out like the saddest cadence of a funeral hymn. She passed into another ballad, this time a really doleful one.

以前我常常听到这首歌,每次都感到欢欣鼓舞,因为贝西有着甜甜的嗓音——至少我这样认为。但是现在,虽然她的嗓音依然甜美,我却感受到这旋律中难以名状的忧伤。有时,她全神贯注于手中的活儿,叠句唱得很低,还拉长了音,“很久以前”就像是葬礼上赞歌中最忧伤的曲调。她唱起了另外一首歌谣,这首真的很忧伤:

"My feet they are sore, and my limbs they are weary; Long is the way, and the mountains are wild; Soon will the twilight close moonless and dreary Over the path of the poor orphan child.

“我的双脚疼痛,四肢疲倦;长路漫漫,群山荒荒;暮色降临,月儿躲藏;孤儿路凄凉。

Why did they send me so far and so lonely, Up where the moors spread and grey rocks are piled? Men are hardhearted, and kind angels only Watch o'er the steps of a poor orphan child.

为何送我至此,遥远而孤寂,这荒野蔓延、石堆高耸地方?人们铁石心肠,唯有善良的天使时刻注视孤儿的脚步。

Yet distant and soft the night breeze is blowing, Clouds there are none, and clear stars beam mild, God, in His mercy, protection is showing, Comfort and hope to the poor orphan child.

然而夜晚微风飘渺而柔软;万里无云,星光柔美;上帝慈悲啊,请保佑生灵;赐予这孤儿温暖和希望。

Ev'n should I fall o'er the broken bridge passing, Or stray in the marshes, by false lights beguiled, Still will my Father, with promise and blessing, Take to His bosom the poor orphan child.

哪怕我跌倒,落到断桥下;哪怕我误入歧途,落入沼泽;天父许诺,赐予祝福;将这可怜的孤儿搂入怀抱。

There is a thought that for strength should avail me, Though both of shelter and kindred despoiled; Heaven is a home, and a rest will not fail me; God is a friend to the poor orphan child.”

有一种信念,给我力量;即使无家可归,举目无亲;天堂是永远的归宿,总可安息;上帝是孤儿唯一的朋友。”

"Come, Miss Jane, don't cry," said Bessie as she finished. She might as well have said to the fire, "don't burn!"but how could she divine the morbid suffering to which I was a prey? In the course of the morning Mr. Lloyd came again.

“过来,简小姐,不要哭了。”贝西唱完说道。就好像她也对炉火说“别烧啦!”一样。可她怎么知道我内心挥之不去的剧痛?早上,劳埃德先生又来了。

"What, already up!" said he, as he entered the nursery. "Well, nurse, how is she?"

“什么,已经起床了?”他一进育儿室就问道,“嗯,保姆,她怎么样了?”

Bessie answered that I was doing very well. "Then she ought to look more cheerful. Come here, Miss Jane: your name is Jane, is it not?”"Yes, sir, Jane Eyre."

贝西回答说我很好。“那她应该看上去更高兴些。过来,简小姐,你叫简吧?”“是的,先生,简·爱。”

"Well, you have been crying, Miss Jane Eyre; can you tell me what about? Have you any pain?""No, sir."

“嗯,简·爱小姐,你刚才哭了,能告诉我为什么吗?你哪里疼吗?”“不,先生。”

"Oh! I daresay she is crying because she could not go out with Missis in the carriage," interposed Bessie.

“啊!我敢说,她哭鼻子是因为她不能跟夫人坐马车出去。”贝西插话说。

"Surely not! why, she is too old for such pettishness."I thought so too; and my self-esteem being wounded by the false charge, I answered promptly, "I never cried for such a thing in my life: I hate going out in the carriage. I cry because I am miserable.”"Oh fie, Miss!" said Bessie. The good apothecary appeared a little puzzled. I was standing before him; he fixed his eyes on me very steadily: his eyes were small and grey; not very bright, but I dare say I should think them shrewd now: he had a hard featured yet good-natured looking face. Having considered me at leisure, he said—

“当然不是!她都这么大了,不可能为这点小事哭的。”我也是这么想的。因为受到冤屈,我的自尊被伤害了,我立即声明:“我从不会为这种事哭,我讨厌坐马车出门。我哭是因为心里难过。”“哎,得了吧,小姐!”贝西说道。好心的药剂师看起来有些不解。我站在他面前,他目不转睛地看着我。他有双灰色的小眼睛,不是很明亮,但是现在我敢说,那双眼睛很精明;他的面孔不怎么帅气,但却和善。他从容地打量了我一番,然后说:

"What made you ill yesterday?"

“你昨天是怎么生病的?”

"She had a fall," said Bessie, again putting in her word.

“她摔了一跤。”贝西再一次插话道。

"Fall! why, that is like a baby again! Can't she manage to walk at her age? She must be eight or nine years old."

“摔跤!啊,那又像个小孩子了!难道她这个年龄还不会走路吗?她应该有八九岁了吧。”

"I was knocked down," was the blunt explanation, jerked out of me by another pang of mortified pride; "but that did not make me ill," I added; while Mr. Lloyd helped himself to a pinch of snuff.

被侮辱的自尊再次受到一击,我直截了当地回答:“我是被打倒的。”又补充说:“但那不是我生病的原因。”劳埃德先生取出一撮鼻烟吸着。

As he was returning the box to his waistcoat pocket, a loud bell rang for the servants' dinner; he knew what it was. "That's for you, nurse," said he; "you can go down; I'll give Miss Jane a lecture till you come back."

他将烟盒放回背心口袋时,铃声响了,他知道这是集合仆人们去吃饭。“保姆,该吃饭了。”他说道,“你下去吧,在你回来前我会跟简小姐好好谈谈。”

Bessie would rather have stayed, but she was obliged to go, because punctuality at meals was rigidly enforced at Gateshead Hall.

贝西想留下,但她不得不走,因为准时开饭是盖茨黑德府的硬规矩。

"The fall did not make you ill; what did, then?"pursued Mr. Lloyd when Bessie was gone.

“如果不是因为摔跤,那是什么让你病了呢?”贝西一走,劳埃德先生便追问道。

"I was shut up in a room where there is a ghost till after dark."

“我被关进一间闹鬼的屋子,直到天黑。”

I saw Mr. Lloyd smile and frown at the same time.

我看到劳埃德先生笑了,同时皱了皱眉:

"Ghost! What, you are a baby after all! You are afraid of ghosts?"

“鬼!呵,你到底只是个孩子啊!你怕鬼吗?”

"Of Mr. Reed's ghost I am: he died in that room, and was laid out there. Neither Bessie nor any one else will go into it at night, if they can help it; and it was cruel to shut me up alone without a candle,—so cruel that I think I shall never forget it.”

“我怕里德先生的鬼魂,他是在那间屋子里去世的,也是在那儿进的棺材。只要可以,贝西和其他任何人晚上都不愿进去。把我一个人关在那儿,连根蜡烛都没有,真是残忍——太残忍了,我想我永远都忘不了。”

"Nonsense! And is it that makes you so miserable? Are you afraid now in daylight?"

“胡说!这就是你难过的原因吗?现在是白天,你还害怕吗?”

"No: but night will come again before long: and besides,—I am unhappy,—very unhappy, for other things.”"What other things? Can you tell me some of them?"

“不,但是夜晚不久又要来了,并且——我不开心——很不开心,是因为其他事。”“其他什么事?能告诉我一些吗?”

How much I wished to reply fully to this question! How difficult it was to frame any answer! Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their feelings; and if the analysis is partially effected in thought, they know not how to express the result of the process in words. Fearful, however, of losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by imparting it, I, after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre, though, as far as it went, true response.

我多想彻彻底底地回答这个问题!然而要表达出来太困难了。孩子们能够感觉,但他们无法分析自己的感觉;即使能在头脑中做些分析,他们也不知道如何用语言来表达分析的结果。然而,我怕失去这第一次也是唯一一次能通过倾诉来缓解悲伤的机会,不安地停顿后,我勉强做出了简单的,然而就其自身而言也算真实的回答:

"For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters."

“首先,我没有父母,没有兄弟姐妹。”

"You have a kind aunt and cousins."

“你有好心的舅母和表兄弟、表姐妹。”

Again I paused; then bunglingly enounced—

我再一次停下来,继而笨拙地说:

"But John Reed knocked me down, and my aunt shut me up in the red room."

“但是约翰·里德把我打倒了,舅母把我关在红房子里。”

Mr. Lloyd a second time produced his snuffbox.

劳埃德先生第二次掏出鼻烟盒吸了下。

"Don't you think Gateshead Hall a very beautiful house?"asked he. "Are you not very thankful to have such a fine place to live at?"

“你不认为盖茨黑德府很漂亮吗?”他问道,“你能住在这样的好地方,不觉得庆幸吗?”

"It is not my house, sir; and Abbot says I have less right to be here than a servant."

“这不是我的家,先生。阿博特还说,我甚至不如仆人有资格住在这儿。”

"Pooh! you can't be silly enough to wish to leave such a splendid place?"

“得了吧!你总不会傻到想离开这么个好地方吧?”

"If I had anywhere else to go, I should be glad to leave it; but I can never get away from Gateshead till I am a woman."

“如果有其他地方可以去,我倒很愿意走。但在成人之前,我是不可能离开盖茨黑德府的。”

"Perhaps you may—who knows? Have you any relations besides Mrs. Reed?”

“没准儿你可以——谁说得准呢?除了里德夫人,你还有其他亲戚吗?”

"I think not, sir."

“我想没了,先生。”

"None belonging to your father?"

“你父亲没有亲戚吗?”

"I don't know. I asked Aunt Reed once, and she said possibly I might have some poor, low relations called Eyre, but she knew nothing about them."

“我不知道。我问过里德舅母一次,她说我可能有些姓爱的又穷又贱的亲戚,但她对他们一无所知。”

"If you had such, would you like to go to them?"

“如果有这样的亲戚,你愿意投奔他们吗?”

I reflected. Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to children: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable poverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes, scanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty for me was synonymous with degradation.

我想了想。贫穷对大人来说很残忍,对小孩子更是如此:他们并不太懂贫穷的人仍可以勤劳工作、值得尊重,他们只会把贫穷和破旧的衣服、贫乏的食物、没火的炉子、粗鲁的举止和恶劣的行为联系在一起,贫穷对我来说就等于堕落。

"No; I should not like to belong to poor people," was my reply.

“不,我不想跟着穷人生活。”我回答道。

"Not even if they were kind to you?"

“即使他们对你好,也不想去吗?”

I shook my head: I could not see how poor people had the means of being kind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be uneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing their children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the village of Gateshead:no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at the price of caste. "But are your relatives so very poor? Are they working people?"

我摇了摇头,我想不出穷人会有办法对我好。我想象着自己要学他们说话、行事,没有文化,长大后就成了可怜的妇女,就像我有时见到的在盖茨黑德村的茅舍门口喂孩子、洗衣服的妇女一样。不,我没有那么英勇,牺牲社会地位来换取自由。“但是你的亲戚就那么穷吗?他们有工作吗?”

"I cannot tell;Aunt Reed says if I have any, they must be a beggarly set: I should not like to go a begging.”

“我不知道,里德舅母说,有的话,他们也一定是叫花子,我可不想讨饭。”

"Would you like to go to school?"

“你想上学吗?”

Again I reflected: I scarcely knew what school was: Bessie sometimes spoke of it as a place where young ladies sat in the stocks, wore backboards, and were expected to be exceedingly genteel and precise:John Reed hated his school, and abused his master; but John Reed's tastes were no rule for mine, and if Bessie's accounts of school discipline (gathered from the young ladies of a family where she had lived before coming to Gateshead) were somewhat appalling, her details of certain accomplishments attained by these same young ladies were, I thought, equally attractive. She boasted of beautiful paintings of landscapes and flowers by them executed; of songs they could sing and pieces they could play, of purses they could net, of French books they could translate; till my spirit was moved to emulation as I listened. Besides, school would be a complete change: it implied a long journey, an entire separation from Gateshead, an entrance into a new life.

我又想了想,我几乎不了解学校。贝西有时说,学校里的姑娘们戴着足枷,背着脊骨矫正板,要求举止极其文雅、一丝不苟。约翰·里德讨厌上学,还辱骂他的老师,但是约翰·里德的品位并不能决定我的。如果贝西有关学校条令的叙述(来盖茨黑德府之前,她从另一家的年轻小姐那儿听来的)有些可怕,那我认为,她提到的那些年轻小姐们的成就同样很吸引人。她夸耀她们画的那些美丽的风景和花卉,她们会唱歌、弹曲,会编钱包,还会翻译法语书。我听着她讲,怦然心动,跃跃欲试。此外,学校将带来彻底的变化,它意味着漫长的旅行,与盖茨黑德府的诀别,新生活的开始。

"I should indeed like to go to school," was the audible conclusion of my musings.

“我应该会很喜欢上学。”我沉思后说出结论。

"Well, well! who knows what may happen?"said Mr. Lloyd, as he got up. "The child ought to have change of air and scene," he added, speaking to himself; "nerves not in a good state."

“很好!很好!谁知道会发生什么呢?”劳埃德先生站起来说道,“这孩子应该换换环境和气氛。”他又自言自语道:“精神状态不佳呀。”

Bessie now returned; at the same moment the carriage was heard rolling up the gravel walk.

贝西回来了,同时还能听到马车走在石子路上的声音。

"Is that your mistress, nurse?" asked Mr. Lloyd. "I should like to speak to her before I go."

“是太太回来了吗,保姆?”劳埃德先生问道,“我在走之前想跟她说几句。”

Bessie invited him to walk into the breakfast room, and led the way out.

贝西在前面带路,请他去餐厅。

In the interview which followed between him and Mrs. Reed, I presume, from after occurrences, that the apothecary ventured to recommend my being sent to school; and the recommendation was no doubt readily enough adopted;for as Abbot said, in discussing the subject with Bessie when both sat sewing in the nursery one night, after I was in bed, and, as they thought, asleep, "Missis was, she dared say, glad enough to get rid of such a tiresome, ill conditioned child, who always looked as if she were watching everybody, and scheming plots underhand."Abbot, I think, gave me credit for being a sort of infantine Guy Fawkes.

接下来他与里德夫人之间的谈话,我是从后面发生的事推断的。药剂师大胆地建议送我去上学,这个建议无疑被欣然采纳了。因为一天晚上,在我上床后,阿博特跟贝西在育儿室做针线活儿时说起了这件事,她们以为我睡着了:“我敢说,太太很乐意赶走这个病恹恹的讨厌孩子,她好像总是盯着大伙儿看,像是暗中计划什么阴谋。”我想,阿博特把我高看成小盖伊·福克斯了。

On that same occasion I learned, for the first time, from Miss Abbot's communications to Bessie, that my father had been a poor clergyman; that my mother had married him against the wishes of her friends, who considered the match beneath her; that my grandfather Reed was so irritated at her disobedience, he cut her off without a shilling;that after my mother and father had been married a year, the latter caught the typhus fever while visiting among the poor of a large manufacturing town where his curacy was situated, and where that disease was then prevalent: that my mother took the infection from him, and both died within a month of each other.

也是那次,从阿博特跟贝西的谈话中,我头一回知道我父亲是个穷牧师,我母亲违背亲友的意愿嫁给了他,他们都认为父亲配不上她,里德外公则对女儿的忤逆勃然大怒,与她断绝了关系,分文未给。我父母结婚一年后,父亲去访问他所在教区的一座大工业城镇上的穷人,那里斑疹伤寒盛行,他也感染上了,又传染给了母亲,不到一个月他们相继去世。

Bessie, when she heard this narrative, sighed and said, "Poor Miss Jane is to be pitied, too, Abbot."

贝西听完后叹了口气,说道:“可怜的简小姐也令人同情啊,阿博特。”

"Yes," responded Abbot; "if she were a nice, pretty child, one might compassionate her forlornness; but one really cannot care for such a little toad as that."

“是啊,”阿博特回答说,“如果她是个可爱漂亮的孩子,人们或许会同情她孤苦伶仃,可谁会喜欢她那副小癞蛤蟆模样。”

"Not a great deal, to be sure," agreed Bessie: "at any rate, a beauty like Miss Georgiana would be more moving in the same condition."

“是不太招人喜欢,确实,”贝西赞同道,“无论如何,若是一样的处境,乔治亚娜小姐那样的美人会更让人怜悯。”

"Yes, I doat on Miss Georgiana!"cried the fervent Abbot. "Little darling!—with her long curls and her blue eyes, and such a sweet colour as she has; just as if she were painted! —Bessie, I could fancy a Welsh rabbit for supper.”

“是啊,我就喜欢乔治亚娜小姐!”阿博特激动地喊道,“小可爱!——卷卷的长发,蓝眼睛,柔滑的皮肤,就好像是画出来的!——贝西,我晚饭想吃威尔士兔子。”

"So could I—with a roast onion. Come, we'll go down."They went.

“我也是——还有烤洋葱。走,我们下楼去。”她们离开了。 hc3xu/3VlhB+gZ3USc0JtmGzto9MTYV/p5LQi+yhUKB0o1V4goawSx9o4AbiT7vY

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