MAY 22.

5月22日

That the life of man is but a dream, many a man has surmised heretofore; and I, too, am everywhere pursued by this feeling. When I consider the narrow limits within which our active and inquiring faculties are confined; when I see how all our energies are wasted in providing for mere necessities, which again have no further end than to prolong a wretched existence; and then that all our satisfaction concerning certain subjects of investigation ends in nothing better than a passive resignation, whilst we amuse ourselves painting our prison—walls with bright figures and brilliant landscapes, —when I consider all this, Wilhelm, I am silent. I examine my own being, and find there a world, but a world rather of imagination and dim desires, than of distinctness and living power. Then everything swims before my senses, and I smile and dream while pursuing my way through the world.

人生如梦，很多人早已有过这种感受，而我也深有此感。想到我们的行动力和求知的能力被束缚，为了求得生存，我们耗尽精力，不过是为了延长我们苦痛的人生；而且，我们从对某些事物的探索中得到的安慰最终也不过变成一种消极的顺从；我们身陷牢笼之中，靠在墙上画些绚烂多姿的景物自娱自乐——每当我想到这一切，威廉啊，我就会沉默无语。我审视自己，我发现了一个世界，这个世界里充斥着虚幻的想象和朦胧的热望，却没有鲜活的力量。所有的一切都在我面前游荡着；我微笑着，憧憬着，在这个世界里继续前行。

All learned professors and doctors are agreed that children do not comprehend the cause of their desires; but that the grown—up should wander about this earth like children, without knowing whence they come, or whither they go, influenced as little by fixed motives, but guided like them by biscuits, sugar—plums, and the rod, —this is what nobody is willing to acknowledge; and yet I think it is palpable.

博学多才的教授和医生们一致认为，小孩子并不知道自己欲望背后隐藏的动机是什么；而成年人也应该像小孩子那样，不知道自己从何处来，又要往何处去，尽可能地不受某些动机的驱使，而像受饼干、梅子糖和棍棒支配那样地生活——这一点虽无人愿意承认，但在我看来却是显而易见的。

I know what you will say in reply; for I am ready to admit that they are happiest, who, like children, amuse themselves with their playthings, dress and undress their dolls, and attentively watch the cupboard, where mamma has locked up her sweet things, and, when at last they get a delicious morsel, eat it greedily, and exclaim, "More! " These are certainly happy beings; but others also are objects of envy, who dignify their paltry employments, and sometimes even their passions, with pompous titles, representing them to mankind as gigantic achievements performed for their welfare and glory. But the man who humbly acknowledges the vanity of all this, who observes with what pleasure the thriving citizen converts his little garden into a paradise, and how patiently even the poor man pursues his weary way under his burden, and how all wish equally to behold the light of the sun a little longer, —yes, such a man is at peace, and creates his own world within himself; and he is also happy, because he is a man. And then, however limited his sphere, he still preserves in his bosom the sweet feeling of liberty, and knows that he can quit his prison whenever he likes.

我知道你会如何答复，我承认，像孩子一样过活的人是最幸福的；他们愉快地玩自己的玩具，摆弄自己的娃娃，目不转睛地盯着妈妈藏甜点的碗柜，等到终于如愿以偿，能尝上一口，便会贪婪地大吃起来，边吃边嚷着： “我还要！” 这些人真幸福啊；还有一些人也令人羡慕，他们把自己微不足道的事情，甚至自己的嗜好，都贴上了华而不实的标签，还声称这是为人类的幸福安宁作出了巨大贡献。可是，也有人谦恭地认清了这一切的虚无浮华，看到殷实的市民将他的小花园拾掇成伊甸园所获得的是怎样的愉悦，看到穷人是如何不屈不挠地、甘负重荷疲倦地走着自己的路，看到所有人都是怎样企盼着能多抓住一缕阳光——是的，这样的人内心是平静的，他在心里创造了一个属于自己的世界，他也是幸福的，因为他生而为人。所以，无论受到怎样的束缚，他始终都会满怀着美好的自由感；他知道，只要他愿意，他随时都可以离开这个牢笼。