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MAY 17.

5月17日

I have made all sorts of acquaintances, but have as yet found no society. I know not what attraction I possess for the people, so many of them like me, and attach themselves to me; and then I feel sorry when the road we pursue together goes only a short distance. If you inquire what the people are like here, I must answer, "The same as everywhere. " The human race is but a monotonous affair. Most of them labour the greater part of their time for mere subsistence; and the scanty portion of freedom which remains to them so troubles them that they use every exertion to get rid of it. Oh, the destiny of man!

我已经结识了形形色色的人,可是至今仍未找到知己。我不知道自己究竟有什么吸引人的地方,那么多人喜欢我,依恋我,可是我们只能同行一小段路,这令我伤感。你要是问我这儿的人怎么样,我会告诉你: “和各地的人一样。” 人都是一个模子刻出来的。多数人为了生计,大半生忙忙碌碌,剩下的那一点儿闲暇时光却令他们犯了愁,千方百计地想要消磨掉。哎,这就是人的命运啊!

But they are a right good sort of people. If I occasionally forget myself, and take part in the innocent pleasures which are not yet forbidden to the peasantry, and enjoy myself, for instance, with genuine freedom and sincerity, round a well—covered table, or arrange an excursion or a dance opportunely, and so forth, all this produces a good effect upon my disposition; only I must forget that there lie dormant within me so many other qualities which moulder uselessly, and which I am obliged to keep carefully concealed. Ah! this thought affects my spirits fearfully. And yet to be misunderstood is the fate of the like of us.

不过,他们都是好人。我有时会忘记自己,同他们共享人间尚存的欢乐:或围坐在布置精美的桌前坦诚畅叙,纵情谈笑,或适时安排郊游,组织舞会等等,这一切都对我的性情颇有裨益;只是我没有想到,我身上还潜伏着种种能量未能发挥,这些潜能正日渐衰退,因此我不得不小心地将它们掩藏起来。唉!这种想法深深地揪紧了我的心。然而,被人误解正是我们这类人的命运。

Alas, that the friend of my youth is gone! Alas, that I ever knew her! I might say to myself, "You are a dreamer to seek what is not to be found here below. " But she has been mine. I have possessed that heart, that noble soul, in whose presence I seemed to be more than I really was, because I was all that I could be. Good heavens! did then a single power of my soul remain unexercised? In her presence could I not display, to its full extent, that mysterious feeling with which my heart embraces nature? Was not our intercourse a perpetual web of the finest emotions, of the keenest wit, the varieties of which, even in their very eccentricity, bore the stamp of genius? Alas! the few years by which she was my senior brought her to the grave before me. Never can I forget her firm mind or her heavenly patience.

唉,我年轻时代的女友已经去世了!唉,我曾与她相识!我真想说: “你真是个傻瓜,你在寻找人世间无法找到的东西。” 但是,我曾拥有过她。我曾拥有过那颗心,那个伟大的灵魂,有她在,我自己似乎也得到了提升,因为我达到了我能达到的最高境界。仁慈的上帝!难道那时我灵魂中还有一丝精力未曾使用?难道在她面前我不能尽情抒发我用以拥抱大自然的奇妙情感吗?我们的交往中难道不是无时无刻都交织着种种最纤细的情感、最敏锐的智慧,甚至还有种种妙趣横生的戏谑吗?这一切不全都打上了天才的烙印吗?唉!她长我的几年岁月竟将她先于我带进了坟墓。我永远不会忘记她那坚定的意志和非凡的耐性。

A few days ago I met a certain young V—, a frank, open fellow, with a most pleasing countenance. He has just left the university, does not deem himself overwise, but believes he knows more than other people. He has worked hard, as I can perceive from many circumstances, and, in short, possesses a large stock of information. When he heard that I am drawing a good deal, and that I know Greek (two wonderful things for this part of the country), he came to see me, and displayed his whole store of learning, from Batteaux to Wood, from De Piles to Winkelmann: he assured me he had read through the first part of Sultzer's theory, and also possessed a manuscript of Heyne's work on the study of the antique. I allowed it all to pass.

几天前,我遇见一位年轻人V—。他为人坦率,模样也挺讨人喜欢。他大学刚毕业,虽然他并不认为自己聪明绝顶,但总以为比别人知道得多。我从各个方面都能感觉得到他很勤奋。总之,他学识比较渊博。当他听说我会画画,又懂希腊文时(这两件事在这里可谓奇事)便来看我,把自己的学问一股脑儿都掏了出来。从巴托谈到伍德,又从德皮勒说到温克尔曼,并对我说,他已读完苏尔策理论的第一部分,并收藏有一部海涅研究古希腊文化的手稿呢。我没搭理他,任他自吹自擂。

I have become acquainted, also, with a very worthy person, the district judge, a frank and open—hearted man. I am told it is a most delightful thing to see him in the midst of his children, of whom he has nine. His eldest daughter especially is highly spoken of. He has invited me to go and see him, and I intend to do so on the first opportunity. He lives at one of the royal hunting—lodges, which can be reached from here in an hour and a half by walking, and which he obtained leave to inhabit after the loss of his wife, as it is so painful to him to reside in town and at the court.

我还结识了一位知名人士,一位地方法官。他是一个坦率正直之人。据说,谁要是看到他和他的九个孩子呆在一起,都会打心眼儿里感到高兴。人们尤其对他的长女赞不绝口。他已经邀请我到他家去,我也想着近期去拜访他。他住在侯爵的一座猎庄里,离此地一个半小时的路程;他是在夫人过世后获准迁居那儿的,因为再继续呆在城里和法院里只会让他徒增伤感。

There have also come in my way a few other originals of a questionable sort, who are in all respects undesirable, and most intolerable in their demonstration of friendship. Good—bye. This letter will please you: it is quite historical.

我也遇到过一些怪里怪气的人,他们举手投足都令人厌恶,见你的那股子亲热劲儿尤其让人无法忍受。再见吧。这封信你一定会喜欢:这写的可都是事实啊。 OKzDoe8ky4TUifoUOJxNgqsF6nxN7FIRkQDkj1dmlXYskgEwxBouCD0EtfhszTtL

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