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第五章
Shubin did not leave his room before night. It was already quite dark; the moon—not yet at the full—stood high in the sky, the milky way shone white, and the stars spotted the heavens, when Bersenyev, after taking leave of Anna Vassilyevna, Elena, and Zoya, went up to his friend's door. He found it locked. He knocked.
在夜幕降临之前，舒宾一直把自己关在屋里。那时天已经完全黑了，月亮——还不是很圆——高高地悬挂在空中，银河闪闪发亮，星星缀满了整个天空，别尔谢涅夫在跟安娜? 瓦西里耶夫娜、埃琳娜和卓娅道别之后，来到了舒宾房门前。他发现门被锁上了。他敲了敲门。
'Who is there? ' sounded Shubin's voice.
“谁在外面？” 有人问道，听上去像舒宾的声音。
'I, ' answered Bersenyev.
“我。” 别尔谢涅夫答道。
'What do you want? '
“你来做什么？”
'Let me in, Pavel; don't be sulky; aren't you ashamed of yourself? '
“让我进去，帕维尔，不要再生气了，你难道一点儿都不感到惭愧吗？”
'I am not sulky; I' m asleep and dreaming about Zoya. '
“我没有生气，我在睡觉呢，而且还梦到了卓娅。”
'Do stop that, please; you're not a baby. Let me in. I want to talk to you. '
“得了吧，你已经不是小孩子了。让我进去。我想跟你谈谈。”
'Haven't you had talk enough with Elena? '
“你还没跟埃琳娜聊够吗？”
'Come, come; let me in! ' Shubin responded by a pretended snore.
“快点儿，快点儿，让我进去！” 舒宾用假装的呼噜声回答他。
Bersenyev shrugged his shoulders and turned homewards.
别尔谢涅夫耸了耸肩，转身回去了。
The night was warm and seemed strangely still, as though everything were listening and expectant; and Bersenyev, enfolded in the still darkness, stopped involuntarily; and he, too, listened expectant. On the tree—tops near there was a faint stir, like the rustle of a woman's dress, awaking in him a feeling half—sweet, half—painful, a feeling almost of fright. He felt a tingling in his cheeks, his eyes were chill with momentary tears; he would have liked to move quite noiselessly, to steal along in secret. A cross gust of wind blew suddenly on him; he almost shuddered, and his heart stood still; a drowsy beetle fell off a twig and dropped with a thud on the path; Bersenyev uttered a subdued 'Ah! ' and again stopped. But he began to think of Elena, and all these passing sensations vanished at once; there remained only the reviving sense of the night freshness, of the walk by night; his whole soul was absorbed by the image of the young girl. Bersenyev walked with bent head, recalling her words, her questions. He fancied he heard the tramp of quick steps behind. He listened: some one was running, some one was overtaking him; he heard panting, and suddenly from a black circle of shadow cast by a huge tree Shubin sprang out before him, quite pale in the light of the moon, with no cap on his disordered curls.
这天晚上温度适中，周围异常安静，好像所有事物都在聆听着，盼望着什么。走在这宁静夜色中的别尔谢涅夫不由自主地停下了脚步，也心怀期待地聆听着什么。在附近的树顶处，时不时地传来一阵悉悉率率的响声，就像女人裙子摆动时沙沙的声音，这声音令他心头涌起一种既甜蜜又痛苦的感觉，这是一种近乎恐怖的感觉。他感到脸上有些痛，双眼也因为突然涌上的泪水而冰冷，他本想悄无声息地离开，隐秘地偷偷溜走。一阵风突然从他身边吹过，他打了个寒战，他的心似乎也静止了。一只昏昏欲睡的甲虫从细枝上掉了下来，砰的一声落在了地上，别尔谢涅夫小声叫了叫道： “啊！” 然后他停下了脚步。然而，他突然间想起了埃琳娜，这时，所有的恐惧或其他感觉都立刻消失了，剩下的仅仅是夜晚的清新和晚间散步的愉悦，他整个脑袋里都是埃琳娜美丽的身影。别尔谢涅夫低头走着，回想着她说过的话和她提过的问题。他好像听到身后传来急促的脚步声。他仔细听了听，有人在飞奔着，正朝着他的方向赶来，他听到了大口喘气声，忽然间，舒宾从一株大树投下的黑色圆形影子里跳出到他的面前，月光照得他脸色发白，一头卷发乱糟糟的，也没有戴帽子。
'I am glad you came along this path, ' he said with an effort. 'I should not have slept all night, if I had not overtaken you. Give me your hand. Are you going home? '
“我很高兴你走了这条小路，” 他喘着气说， “如果我没有赶上你，恐怕今晚就睡不着觉了。把手给我。你现在是要回家吗？”
'Yes. '
“是的。”
'I will see you home then. '
“那我送你回去吧。”
'But why have you come without a cap on? '
“你怎么没戴帽子就过来了？”
'That doesn't matter. I took off my neckerchief too. It is quite warm. '
“没关系。我也没戴围巾。现在天气很暖和的。”
The friends walked a few paces.
两个年轻人向前走了几步。
'I was very stupid today, wasn't I? ' Shubin asked suddenly.
“我今天很愚蠢，是吗？” 舒宾突然问道。
'To speak frankly, you were. I couldn't make you out. I have never seen you like that before. And what were you angry about really? Such trifles!’
“说实话，是的。我实在是很不理解。我以前从没见你这样过。你到底为什么生气？就为那些琐事！”
'H' m, 'muttered Shubin. ' That's how you put it; but they were not trifles to me. You see, 'he went on, ' I ought to point out to you that I—that—you may think what you please of me—I—well there! I 'm in love with Elena. '
“哼，” 舒宾小声咕哝着， “你认为是小事，但对我来说，那些并不是小事。你要明白，” 他继续说着， “我应该跟你讲清楚，我——无论你怎样看我——我——好吧！我爱上了埃琳娜。”
'You in love with Elena! ' repeated Bersenyev, standing still.
“你爱上了埃琳娜！” 别尔谢涅夫重复了一遍，呆呆地停下了。
'Yes, ' pursued Shubin with affected carelessness. 'Does that astonish you? I will tell you something else. Till this evening I still had hopes that she might come to love me in time. But today I have seen for certain that there is no hope for me. She is in love with some one else. '
“是的，” 舒宾装作毫不介意地说道， “吓到你了吗？我再告诉你一件事吧。直到今天傍晚，我仍然傻乎乎地相信她总有一天会爱上我的。但是今天我才意识到这是不可能的了。她已经喜欢上别人了。”
'Some one else? Whom? '
“别人？谁啊？”
'Whom? You! ' cried Shubin, slapping Bersenyev on the shoulder.
“谁？你啊！” 舒宾叫了起来，打了一下别尔谢涅夫的肩膀。
'Me! '
“我！”
'You, ' repeated Shubin.
“是你。” 舒宾重复了一遍。
Bersenyev stepped back a pace, and stood motionless. Shubin looked intently at him.
别尔谢涅夫向后退了几步，一动不动地停在了那里。舒宾专注地看着他。
'And does that astonish you? You are a modest youth. But she loves you. You can make your mind easy on that score. '
“你对此感到很意外吗？你是个谦逊的年轻人。但她喜欢你。对此你可以完全相信。”
'What nonsense you talk! ' Bersenyev protested at last with an air of vexation.
“你在胡说些什么！” 别尔谢涅夫最后懊恼地否认道。
'No, it's not nonsense. But why are we standing still? Let us go on. It's easier to talk as we walk. I have known her a long while, and I know her well. I cannot be mistaken. You are a man after her own heart. There was a time when she found me agreeable; but, in the first place, I am too frivolous a young man for her, while you are a serious person, you are a morally and physically well—regulated person, you—hush, I have not finished, you are a conscientiously disposed enthusiast, a genuine type of those devotees of science, of whom—no not of whom—whereof the middle class of Russian gentry are so justly proud! And, secondly, Elena caught me the other day kissing Zoya's arms!’
“不，这并不是无稽之谈。不过我们为何要停下来呢？继续走啊。边走边说，这样更轻松些。我认识她很久了，而且我非常了解她。我不会弄错的。你已经赢得了她的芳心。曾经有一阵子她还觉得我挺不错的，但是，对于她来说，首先，我是个太轻率的年轻人，而你却是个严肃认真的人，你的品德或体魄都修养得很好，你——等一下，我还没说完——你还是个热情积极的人，是那些真正为科学献身的人，是那些——不，不是那些——是俄国中产阶级贵族真正引以为荣的人！还有，埃琳娜前几天还看到我在亲吻卓娅的手臂！”
'Zoya's? '
“卓娅的手臂？”
'Yes, Zoya's. What would you have? She has such fine shoulders. '
“是的，卓娅的手臂。我能怎么办呢？她的双肩是如此地美丽。”
'Shoulders? '
“双肩？”
'Well there, shoulders and arms, isn't it all the same? Elena caught me in this unconstrained proceeding after dinner, and before dinner I had been abusing Zoya in her hearing. Elena unfortunately doesn't understand how natural such contradictions are. Then you came on the scene, you have faith in—what the deuce is it you have faith in? …You blush and look confused, you discuss Schiller and Schelling (she's always on the look—out for remarkable men), and so you have won the day, and I, poor wretch, try to joke—and all the while—’
“对呀，双肩和胳膊难道有区别吗？埃琳娜是在用餐后看到我那不由自主的行为的，而在用餐前，我还曾当着她的面骂过卓娅。遗憾的是埃琳娜竟不明白我这种前后矛盾的表现是很自然的。而这个时候你恰好出现了，你信仰——你信仰的是什么来着？你会脸红，你会看起来很困惑，你会跟她讲席勒和谢林（她总是想要了解那些杰出的人们），你就这样俘获了她的芳心，而我呢，一个可怜的失败者，只能试着开开玩笑——可事实上——”
Shubin suddenly burst into tears, turned away, and dropping upon the ground clutched at his hair.
舒宾突然哭了起来，转过身去，蹲在地上紧紧抓住自己的头发。
Bersenyev went up to him.
别尔谢涅夫走到他的面前。
'Pavel, ' he began, 'what childishness this is! Really! what's the matter with you today? God knows what nonsense you have got into your head, and you are crying. Upon my word, I believe you must be putting it on. '
“帕维尔，” 别尔谢涅夫说， “你怎么还这么幼稚！说真的！你今天到底是怎么回事？谁知道你那脑子里整天在想着什么，怎么还哭呢。依我看，你就是在装腔作势。”
Shubin lifted up his head. The tears shone bright on his cheeks in the moonlight, but there was a smile on his face.
舒宾抬起头。他脸庞上的泪水在月光下闪闪发亮，表情却是笑着的。
'Andrei Petrovitch, ' he said, 'you may think what you please about me. I am even ready to agree with you that I' m hysterical now, but, by God, I 'm in love with Elena, and Elena loves you. I promised, though, to see you home, and I will keep my promise. '
“安德烈? 彼得罗维奇，” 他说， “你怎么想我都可以。我甚至已经准备好对你承认我现在有些歇斯底里，但是，我向上帝发誓，我是真的爱埃琳娜，但她爱上的却是你。然而我答应过要送你回家，我一定会履行诺言的。”
He got up.
他站起身来。
'What a night! silvery, dark, youthful! How sweet it must be tonight for men who are loved! How sweet for them not to sleep! Will you sleep, Andrei Petrovitch? '
“多美的夜晚啊！银色的月光，黑色的充满活力的夜空！对那些恋爱中的人来说，这是个多么迷人的晚上啊！不睡觉对他们来说多么甜蜜啊！你想睡觉吗，安德烈? 别尔谢涅夫？”
Bersenyev made no answer, and quickened his pace.
别尔谢涅夫什么也没说，只是加快了脚步。
'Where are you hurrying to? ' Shubin went on. 'Trust my words, a night like this will never come again in your life, and at home, Schelling will keep. It's true he did you good service today; but you need not hurry for all that. Sing, if you can sing, sing louder than ever; if you can't sing, take off your hat, throw up your head, and smile to the stars. They are all looking at you, at you alone; the stars never do anything but look down upon lovers—that's why they are so charming. You are in love, I suppose, Andrei Petrovitch? …You don't answer me…why don't you answer? ' Shubin began again: 'Oh, if you feel happy, be quiet, be quiet! I chatter because I am a poor devil, unloved, I am a jester, an artist, a buffoon; but what unutterable ecstasy would I quaff in the night wind under the stars, if I knew that I were loved! …Bersenyev, are you happy? '
“你急着去哪里啊？” 舒宾继续问道， “相信我，像这样美丽的夜晚你以后恐怕是再也不会遇到了，但你家里，谢林的作品却会一直在那里。没错，谢林的思想今天确实帮了你不少，但你也不用这样着急啊。唱吧，如果你会唱歌，就大声地唱吧，如果不会的话，你就拿掉帽子，抬起头来，对着星星笑吧。它们都在盯着你看，而且只盯着你。星星们仅钟爱于那些陷入爱情里的人们——这就是它们如此迷人的原因。我想你已经恋爱了，安德烈? 彼得罗维奇？你不回答我……你为什么不回答我呢？” 舒宾接着说道： “哦，如果你感觉开心的话，请你不要说出来，默不作声吧！我一直在不停地唠叨，是因为我是个穷鬼，没有人喜欢我，我就是个小丑，是个搞艺术的，是个十足的大傻瓜，但是，如果我知道某个人爱上了我，那么，在这星光下的夜风里，我将会陷入无以言喻的喜悦之中！别尔谢涅夫，你感觉开心吗？”
Bersenyev was silent as before, and walked quickly along the smooth path. In front, between the trees, glimmered the lights of the little village in which he was staying; it consisted of about a dozen small villas for summer visitors. At the very beginning of the village, to the right of the road, a little shop stood under two spreading birch—trees; its windows were all closed already, but a wide patch of light fell fan—shaped from the open door upon the trodden grass, and was cast upwards on the trees, showing up sharply the whitish undersides of the thick growing leaves. A girl, who looked like a maid—servant, was standing in the shop with her back against the doorpost, bargaining with the shopkeeper; from beneath the red kerchief which she had wrapped round her head, and held with bare hand under her chin, could just be seen her round cheek and slender throat. The young men stepped into the patch of light; Shubin looked into the shop, stopped short, and cried 'Annushka! ' The girl turned round quickly. They saw a nice—looking, rather broad but fresh face, with merry brown eyes and black eyebrows. 'Annushka! ' repeated Shubin. The girl saw him, looked scared and shamefaced, and without finishing her purchases, she hurried down the steps, slipped quickly past, and, hardly looking round, went along the road to the left. The shopkeeper, a puffy man, unmoved by anything in the world, like all country shopkeepers gasped and gaped after her, while Shubin turned to Bersenyev with the words: 'That' s…you see…there's a family here I know…so at their house…you mustn't imagine’ …and, without finishing his speech, he ran after the retreating girl.
别尔谢涅夫还是像刚才那样不说话，只是在平坦地小路上大步狂奔。前方，一丝丝的灯光从树林里显现出来，那是他所居住的那个村子里的灯光，那个村子由大约十二幢小别墅组成，是为夏天来度假的游客们准备的。在村口小路的右边，一个小商店位于两棵枝繁叶茂的白桦树下，商店的窗户已经关上了，但从那扇敞开的门里，灯光透出来，在门口已被踩平的草地上印出一片扇形的光影。光线在树干处向上弯折，清晰地映出树上浓密枝叶白色的背面。一个看起来像是仆人的女孩站在商店里，背靠着门边，和店主在讨价还价，她的头上围着一条红色的围巾，她用手把它紧紧地按在下巴上，在那下面，我们只能看到她那圆圆的脸蛋和细长的脖子。两个年轻人走进小店门口的光线里，舒宾朝店里看了看，停了一会儿，喊道： “安努什卡！” 那女孩很快转过身来。他们看见一张美丽的脸庞。她脸型略宽，但长相甜美，面色红润，眉毛乌黑浓密，棕色的眼睛十分生动。 “安努什卡！” 舒宾重复了一遍。那女孩看见是他，面色变得惊慌失措、羞涩不安。她还没买完东西就急匆匆地跑下了台阶，从他们身旁快速跑过，头也不回地沿着小路向左跑去了。小店老板长得白白胖胖，任何事都惊动不了他；跟所有其他的乡下老板一样，看到这些他只是张嘴打了个哈欠，这时舒宾转头对别尔谢涅夫说： “那个……你看……我认识住在这里的一家人……所以呢，他们的房子里……你可别以为……” 话没说完，他就急急忙忙去追那个刚才跑掉的女孩。
'You'd better at least wipe your tears away, ' Bersenyev shouted after him, and he could not refrain from laughing. But when he got home, his face had not a mirthful expression; he laughed no longer. He had not for a single instant believed what Shubin had told him, but the words he had uttered had sunk deep into his soul.
“你最好把脸上的眼泪擦掉。” 别尔谢涅夫在他背后喊道，禁不住笑了起来。但是，当他回到家里，脸上却没了刚才那开心的表情，他笑不出来了。他压根就不相信刚才舒宾告诉他的那些话，但那些话却深深地印在了他的脑海里。
'Pavel was making a fool of me, ' he thought; ‘…but she will love one day…whom will she love? '
“帕维尔是在拿我寻开心的吧，” 他想着， “……但她终有一天会恋爱……她以后会爱上谁呢？”
In Bersenyev's room there was a piano, small, and by no means new, but of a soft and sweet tone, though not perfectly in tune. Bersenyev sat down to it, and began to strike some chords. Like all Russians of good birth, he had studied music in his childhood, and like almost all Russian gentlemen, he played very badly; but he loved music passionately. Strictly speaking, he did not love the art, the forms in which music is expressed (symphonies and sonatas, even operas wearied him), but he loved the poetry of music: he loved those vague and sweet, shapeless, and all—embracing emotions which are stirred in the soul by the combinations and successions of sounds. For more than an hour, he did not move from the piano, repeating many times the same chords, awkwardly picking out new ones, pausing and melting over the minor sevenths. His heart ached, and his eyes more than once filled with tears. He was not ashamed of them; he let them flow in the darkness. 'Pavel was right, ' he thought, 'I feel it; this evening will not come again. ' At last he got up, lighted a candle, put on his dressing—gown, took down from the bookshelf the second volume of Raumer's History of the Hohenstaufen, and sighing twice, he set to work diligently to read it.
在别尔谢涅夫的房间里，有一架小钢琴，虽然很旧，但弹起来声音柔和悦耳，虽然这音质已没有以前那样完美了。别尔谢涅夫挨着钢琴坐下，开始敲击琴键。和那些出身良好的俄国人一样，他从小就开始学习音乐，但也像几乎所有的俄国绅士那样，他的钢琴弹得很糟，但他却打心眼里热爱音乐。严格来说，他喜欢的并不是音乐这门艺术，也不是音乐的表现形式（交响乐、奏鸣曲甚至是歌剧都让他觉得厌烦），他喜爱的只是音乐本身所包含的那种意境，他喜爱那种通过悠扬的旋律浸入听者灵魂的朦胧甜蜜、无拘无束和无处不在的感觉。一个多小时过去了，他还坐在钢琴旁边，重复地弹着同样的曲子，笨拙地演奏着新的曲目，然而他总会在七音阶的地方停下，陷入沉思。他内心痛苦，眼睛里一次次地充满了泪水。但他并没有因此而感到羞愧，在这夜色里，他任眼泪尽情地流淌。 “帕维尔说得对，” 他寻思着， “我也觉得，这样迷人的夜晚不会再有了。” 最后，他起身点了一根蜡烛，穿上外袍，从书架上拿了本历史学家劳默尔所著的《霍亨斯托芬历史》第二卷，叹了两口气，认认真真地读了起来。