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This is no time to be superstitious!
Much worse
Policeman ： Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch ？
Man ： If I had opened my mouth ， they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
那就更糟了
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
Psychiatrist
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. “ Doc. ，” he said ，“ I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed ， I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy! ” “ Just put yourself in my hands for one year ，” said the shrink. “ Come to me three times a week ， and I'll cure your fears. ”“ How much do you charge? ” one hundred dollars per visit. “ I'll sleep on it ，” said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. “ Why didn't you ever come to see me again? ” asked the psychiatrist. “ For a hundred bucks a visit ？ The bartender cured me for $10. ” “ Is that so! How ？” “ He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!! ”
心理医生
杰瑞去看心理医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了！”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“怎么收费呢？”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑一下。”杰瑞答道。六个月后，医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢？”医生问。“一次一百美元吗？有个酒吧服务生收了十美元就把我治好了。”“真的？他怎么做到的？”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那儿没人了！”
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said ，“ I hear sirens. Jump! ”
The second one said ，“ But we're on the 13th floor! ”
The first one screamed back ，“ This is no time to be superstitious! ”
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧 ! ”
第二个说：“但是我们在 13 层啊 ! ”
第一个朝他大喊道：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信 ! ”
A kid asked his dad ，“ Hey ， Pop ， can you write in the dark ？” The dad answered ，“ Sure. What do you want me to write ？” The boy said ，“ Your name on this report card. ”
有个孩子问他爸爸：“嘿，爸，你能在黑暗中写字吗？”
爸爸回答：“当然。你要我写什么？”
男孩说：“在这个成绩单上写你的名字。”
A tricky girl said ，“ Mom ， I got a one hundred in school today! ” The mom replied ，“ Great ， sweetie ， tell me about it. ” The girl reluctantly said ，“ Well ， I got a twenty in math ， a thirty in history and a fifty in spelling. ”
一个狡猾的女孩说：“妈妈，我今天在学校得了一个 100 分！”
妈妈回答说：“太好了，小可爱。跟我说说情况。”
这个女孩不情愿地说：“嗯，我数学得了 20 分，历史得了 30 分，拼写得了 50 分。”