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Are you a normal person ？
The doctor lives downstairs
“ Doctor ，” she said loudly ， bouncing into the room ，“ I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me. ”
He surveyed her from head to foot. “ Madam ，” he said at length ，“ I've just three things to tell you. First ， your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second ， your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third ， I'm an artist ， the doctor lives downstairs. ”
医生住在楼下
“医生，”她冲进屋后大声说道，“我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量一下她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对您说。第一，您的体重需要减大约 50 磅；第二，如果您只用现在十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的相貌将会变美；第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
Are you a normal person ？
During a visit to the mental asylum ， a visitor asked the director ，“ What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized ？” “ Well... ” said the director ，“ we fill up a bathtub ， and we offer a teaspoon ， a teacup ， and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub. ” “ Oh ， I understand ，” said the visitor. “ A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup. ” “ Noooooooo! ” answered the director. “ A normal person would pull the plug. ”
你精神正常吗？
一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长：“你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢？”“哦… …”院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后给病人一个茶匙、一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放干净。”“哦，我明白了，”参观者说，“正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。”“错了，”院长回答道，“正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。”
Who's going deaf ？
A man tells a doctor ，“ I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ？”
The doctor says ，“ Well ， try to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer ， move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is. ”
The man goes home ， sees his wife and says ，“ Hi honey ， what's for dinner ？” He doesn't hear an answer ， so he moves closer. “ Honey ， what's for dinner ？” He repeats this several times ， until he's standing right next to her.
Finally ， she answers ，“ For the tenth time ， I said we're having Pot Roast! ”
谁要聋了？
丈夫告诉医生：“我想我的妻子快要聋了，我可以做些什么呢？”
医生告诉他：“嗯，先尝试测测她的听力吧。站在离她有一段距离的地方，问一个问题，如果她没有回答，走近一点再问一遍。一直重复直到她回答为止。这样我们就可以知道情况有多糟了。”
丈夫回到家，看见妻子便问：“亲爱的，晚餐吃什么？”他没有听到回答，于是走近一点再问：“亲爱的，晚餐吃什么？”这样重复了好几次，直到他就站在妻子旁边了。
终于，她回答了：“这是第十次了，我说我们吃炖肉！”
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist ： What's your problem ？
Patient ： I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist ： How long has this been going on ？
Patient ： Ever since I was an egg!
我想我是一只鸡
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。